Walking in the Air
by Pavarti
Summary: Time line adjustment: Bella comes to Forks at the end of her Junior year and Jacob has already transformed. What would happen if Bella met her wolf first?
1. Chapter 1

**Preview of Walking in the Air...  
Story may progress into something longer if warranted, let me know what you think.**

Sleep clung to my eyes as I stretched in the early morning sun. It shone through my window brightly; finally a sunny day. The summer was starting slow. What a horrid time to move to a new town, a new school. My Dad, Charlie, worked all day and often into the night and while there was a little bit of a town here, it wasn't enough to entertain me for more than the first week.

I had read most of the books I had brought with me and other than a few visits from my childhood friend Jacob I hadn't had any human contact other then Charlie. And he wasn't exactly a big conversationalist. Usually that was the characteristic I loved the most about my father, he knew when to leave me alone and how to sit in comfortable silence. We had an easy relationship for the most part, despite the strain of living so far apart for most of my life.

As a child I had loved coming here to visit, playing on the beach and walking in the woods behind the house… And like that I knew I would be spending my day, exploring the forest behind the house, there wasn't much of it I hadn't been through before, I'm sure I would remember my way around.

I pulled on my most comfortable jeans and a long sleeve shirt. It may be Summer but under the canopy of trees it could still get chilly. It had been years since I'd been back there, hunting for frogs and chipmunks. Once I had even seen a deer roaming. Charlie had always warned me to watch for wolves and bears but in all the times I'd been here I'd never seen so much as a track so it didn't occur to me to worry. Too bad I didn't take the time to think about what other kinds of predators, natural or supernatural, might be lurking in the forest.

I threw a bottle of water in my backpack, along with my over-read copy of Kafka's Metamorphosis, nothing like a little macabre literature on a beautiful day. I slipped on my shoes before grabbing the house keys and running out the back door.

The sun shocked my system into a sudden halt. The warmth of the rays, the heat of the first real summer day making me smile. Maybe I would go down to First Beach later. Jacob had mentioned something about a bon fire tonight. He was a nice kid, but after the first week of spending time with him I had to pull back. I could tell he was starting to think my hanging out with him meant something more to me then it did.

It wasn't that he wasn't nice, he was, he was beyond nice, it was just…he seemed so young despite being only 1 year behind me in school and while I could tell he would be a good looking man, he still appeared to be just a boy to me. I hadn't seen him in almost three weeks though, and his most recent call sounded…different on the answering machine. His voice was harder somehow and without meaning to, I worried.

I resolved to go out to see Jacob after my walk telling myself it was just for something to do. The fact that he was the only person I knew here was the only reason he was on my mind so much, nothing more than that. If I had more friends, maybe even a girl friend or too then I wouldn't be so preoccupied wondering what he was doing. No, there was no reason to think it was more than that.

The path into the woods was grown over but still there. Charlie hadn't been out here for a while I could tell. Next time I would have to bring scissors or hedge trimmers….or a machete with me. I laughed to myself at the image of me fighting through the brush with a machete in one hand and an automatic gun in the other, off to battle the rebels in Nicaragua or something.

Perhaps I was spending too much time alone; my imagination was clearly getting out of control.

The path under my feet curved slightly, pulling me further into the forest then I had remembered but I felt safe here, like time had stood still. I was 8 years old again, playing back here with….someone, I can't remember who now it was so long ago, but we were laughing and climbing trees. I smiled and dropped my bag wondering if I could still get to the top.

Pulling myself up through the scratchy lower branches, my arms strained at the effort, forcing me to admit and at 17 I was too old to climb trees. The sun moved overhead, getting higher in the sky, but back here, in the shade of the forest there was no change. Everything back here was lush and full, untouched by the outside world. I could sit here forever, with my fingers against the moss of the stones pretending that fairy tales were real.

When I was a child I believed without a doubt in the world of fairies and monsters. The beauty of the fantastical world in my mind was always balanced by the horror of the creatures that stalked me in the night. I could never see them, but they were as real to me as the cat we had or the rocking chair in my room. I would pretend sometimes at night that someone was sitting in that rocking chair, watching me sleep; protecting me from the unseen evils outside of my bedroom window.

Growing up and coming to the realization that no, fairy tales were not real and there was no mystical protector here to keep me from pain was difficult. I would get angry when things would go wrong, when I would get hurt, when my parents divorced demanding to know where my angel was and why he had abandoned me. Once there was no more protection I could no longer bear to believe in monsters and incarnations of evil…if I did the fear would paralyze me.

I walked further, drinking my water and day dreaming about what adventures would await me in my new school my Senior year. It was the worst and the best possible time to move. I didn't know anyone but I wasn't really leaving much behind, besides my mother who despite her desperate love for me wasn't much use. She was remarried now and better off in a life where she could be Renee and Phil, not Renee the mom and her new husband. Too many people looked at the three of us and wondered who Phil was with.

I was ready for a great adventure.

My wandering thoughts kept me from noticing the soft sound of feet behind me. Although it's possible that even if I'd been on alert I would not have heart them. My stalker with the red eyes was skilled at keeping hidden until the last moment. I walked oblivious of the dangers that existed in this world, no longer believing in monsters or knights in shining armor. If I had known would I have been more prepared for what happened next?

A tall man was suddenly standing before me, dark-skinned with inhuman red eyes. I stepped back, startled away from him before able to recognize that there was anything unusual about him.

"Well, what do we have here?" he asked. I noticed that he was wearing no shirt and only dirty jeans with bare feet. His hair long and pulled back, stray dreads falling around his face. "Are you out here all alone?"

"Um, no, I'm just meeting my father now; he's at the clearing waiting for me" I stumbled over something as I backed away from the man who stood perfectly still, barely able to breath.

"hmmm, I think not little one, I do not sense that there is anyone else here. You see, I would know" he grinned wickedly "I'm quite thirsty"

"I…I have water" I said, reaching into my bag.

His laughter was vicious, the cruelest sound I'd ever heard, making the hair on my skin stand up. "hmmm no, but I do appreciate the offer, there may be something else you can do for me though… you do smell… simply mouthwatering."

"Ok, well, all I have is water, so I'll just go then, you um, you can find someone else for help I guess" I was chattering, talking without thinking, just keeping the silence from making me think too hard about what was happening. I was afraid he was going to rape or kill me, but in reality I knew that what he had planned was much much worse.

"Oh you've been so kind, I do like you, which is unusual for me. But this is nothing personal, let me assure you. Just thirst." His smile reached out to me, sending licks of fear and horror along my spine. I watched as he bent down, suddenly looking more cat then man, I expected his pounce, like a mountain lion who was done playing with his prey he would rip me to shreds and feed on my bones.

The impossibility of my thoughts was lost on me because in the moment, the monsters outside the window were 100% real.

I closed my eyes and heard instead of felt my destruction. The sound of metal scraping against metal, nails against a chalkboard at an incredible volume could only mean that I was in pieces on the ground. But I felt no pain, no searing ripping as he dismembered me. Opening my eyes I realized that I was not the one being torn apart and finally I screamed.


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm glad ya'll liked the intro, I'll keep playing with this and see where it goes.  
This is short - is really just the end of Chapter 1 now that I know I'm going to continue...let me know what you think!**

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**From my perch in the tree I had miraculously managed to climb I watched as the creatures attacked my would be assailant. I was so afraid and overwhelmed I wasn't sure, were they my saviors or was I next? The dark man screamed and fought the animals that had surrounded him. He was moving so fast, at times I couldn't tell where he was until I would see a tree shake and his body fall to the ground beneath it. I climbed higher still.

The creatures below me were huge. I would have said they were dogs or bear, but their faces possessed an intelligence that I couldn't place on a wild animal. They were killers, skilled and cunning in their group attack and they were enjoying it. Moving together like a colony of bees, connected through the hive mind, they surrounded the broken man. There were five of them, and as they surrounded him they each took a limb and the largest, black animal wrapped his jaws around the man's head.

I couldn't hear the sound of my screams over the deafening sound of my attacker's dismemberment. The animals pulled and growled, hunched down with the effort as the man flailed in resistance, but it was too late for him, there was no way to defend yourself from this kind of attack. Like synchronized swimmers each of the animals hunched down before pulling simultaneously with a force that pulled each limb apart from the whole, decapitation the final blow.

The creatures howled their pleasure at the complete destruction of their prey, emanating pride and joy. Their cries were piercing and loud. They were wolves, too large to be normal animals and not the grey wolves that had begun to move back into the area, these animals were something else all together. Something outside of nature.

I must have been in some sort of shock because I noticed the lack of blood, something as grizzly as this surely must be combined with a gruesome quantity of blood, and yet there was none. The wolves each picked up a part of the body and trotted away quickly out of my view. I watched as one of them returned for the torso that was still convulsing on the ground before me.

I stayed in my tree, the bark digging into my side, my legs going numb from holding position for so long, but there was nothing I could do, this had proven so far to be a safe place for me to be and I wasn't about to risk moving. As I sat and listened to the retreating howls and what sounded like laughter one of the wolves returned.

It was red and white, beautiful in its distinctive coloring. The wolf sat about ten paces away from the tree and looked up at me, head cocked. Its brown eyes piercing and intelligent.

"No, I'm not coming down for you to eat" I said to the animal, surprising myself. It cocked its head to the other side as if it was listening but hadn't understood what I said. But instead of repeating myself I sat still and looked in the other direction. Any interest this creature took in me would certainly result in my death.

I sat and watched as the wolf paced around the tree until it found where my eyes were looking and sat down, mouth open, tongue lolling to the side. "Go away" I hissed "I'm not food" The wolf's tail wagged as it lay down still looking up.

We must have passed an hour this way, me avoiding looking at the wolf and it somehow finding just where I was staring and going to sit directly in my view. It would sit and stare at me, or lie down. It did not growl or approach the tree at all, lulling me into a sense of safety. My legs were cramping and my toes tingling from the terrible position I was in, but the idea of getting out of the tree with the wolf still here was out of the question.

The wolf would pace the tree, lying down and covering its nose with one paw, as if trying to win me over with cuteness, but the image of this creature quartering a man not even an hour ago was ingrained in my vision.

A yipping sound pulled me out of my thoughts and I looked to find the animal below me looking at me expectantly.

"What?"

The wolf tilted its head.

"Are you getting bored?"

"Yip."

"Then go find someone else to bother" I said and the wolf laid down, covering its eyes with it's paws and tucking its tail under itself.

"I'm sorry" why did I say that? This animal was stalking me! But something about it was getting under my skin.

"Hey, can you speak?"

"Yip!"

"Ohhh, did someone teach you that?"

"Yip!"

"Do you know any other tricks?"

The wolf tilted it's head again, appearing to consider my question before standing up on its back legs and walking around, almost tall enough to reach me in my tree, but I wasn't worried about that, I was too amused to care.

"Well, you are a good pup aren't you?"

"Yip!" It stood below me wagging its tail.

"Ok, sit" and it complied.

"Lay down" and it complied.

"Roll over" and…_he_…complied.

"Go away" I said in the same tone as the other commands and earned what I would have called a glare from the wolf if he had been human.

"It was worth a try" I said and the animal's shoulders shook as if he was laughing.

I was hungry and tired and beginning to loose all feeling in my legs when I heard a howl in the distance. The wolf below me trotted away quickly, looking back at me before disappearing into the trees.

I scurried down the tree as fast as I could without hurting myself, my legs wobbly but complying with my desperate pleas that they not give out on me. I grabbed my bag and walked as quickly as I could back toward where I thought my house was. After walking around for another 30 minutes I had to admit that I was hopelessly lost. I was lost wondering the empty woods which were apparently full of giant, intelligent, killer wolves.

The trees were surrounding me, turning me in the wrong direction with each step. The stones were moving through the dirt, moving the path from where I was sure I had left it. Nothing was adding up, none of the land marks I remembered passing on the way here were anywhere to be found and I couldn't see past the trees ahead to know if there was anything in the distance.

As I was beginning to panic, tripping in my haste to find some trace of the trail I recognized I walked into a small clearing and saw the red wolf, standing there with my water bottle in his mouth. "Oh my…" I said, jumping back, barely catching myself before falling.

The giant wolf took two paces towards me before putting the bottle down gently and stepping back. He nodded at the water bottle and lay down on the ground, a paw over his nose.

"Okay…okay you promise not to eat me?" I said holding my hands out. This creature had found me out here alone twice, had killed someone in front of me, but in doing so saved me from something…I couldn't even allow myself to imagine possible.

The wolf whined and shimmied its body back, further away from me.

"Ok, I'm just going to come pick up my bottle" I stepped forward, hands still out. "Thanks for bringing it to me." I smiled at the red wolf who raised his head and appeared to smile back, his large sharp teeth making me catch my breath and remember, this was not some stray dog I had stumbled upon.

I was breathing quickly, beginning to hyperventilate from fear as I picked up my bottle, my eyes locked on the animal before me who stayed still and calm. "Ok, I'm going to go home now; you can run along to your friends ok? I'm fine now, see?" I said holding up my bottle. I backed up, slowly, not turning my back on the wolf. That's what you were supposed to do right? Never turn your back? I remember seeing that on the Discovery Channel, or was that about how to handle rutting moose…

"Yip!" the wolf said, hopping up to his full height, taller that me I realized now that I was looking up at him.

I continued to back up, unable to turn away. "Yip!" it said pacing around in place gesturing behind him with his head.

"No, no I'm definitely not going with you" I said to him, continuing to back away.

"Yip! Yip!" It said, stomping a foot. If the wolf were a human I'd think he looked annoyed. Before I had a chance to move away again the wolf ran towards me making me stumble and loose my footing. But instead of falling on the ground I was leaning back against a great big warm furry breathing…oh my…

I scrambled upright, moving toward where the wolf had been previously.

"How did you get over there so fast?" I asked, and was rewarded with a wolfen shrug.

"Ok, well, thank you, but you're the one who made me fall in the first place."

The wolf turned and looked in the direction I had been walking and growled softly before looking at me, gesturing the other way with his head and snorting.

"So I was going the wrong way?"

"Yip!"

"Well, how do you know I don't live that way?"

The giant wolf rolled his eyes at me. Now I knew I was in some kind of state of shock or delirium. Wolves don't roll their eyes; certainly not giant mutant man killing wolves. So that meant the only logical non-fairytale explanation was that I was insane. Certifiably, completely institutionable-ly insane.

The wolf snorted and walked slowly to me, so low to the ground his belly was rubbing against the ground. "Are you trying to be non-threatening?" I asked incredulously. "You do know you're like 800 pounds and terrifying right?" The wolf snorted and continued to approach me. But this time I didn't run.

As long as I was insane, I might as well make friends with the giant imaginary dog right?

The wolf snorted again as it was close enough for me to reach out and touch; he lowered his head to the ground before rubbing it gently against my leg.

"You don't have fleas do you?" I asked reaching out and scratching behind his ear, earning myself a grumbling purr. I let myself touch the wolf, running my hands along his snout and scratching his head. His fur was soft and I ran my fingers through it scratching at the skin underneath.

The wolf's eyes closed as he relaxed into my touch and I sat down next to him, letting his head rest in my lap. I stroked his ears, noting how long they were and so much softer then the rest of his fur. His breathing evened out and I watched as he allowed himself to sigh and sink further into me.

"Pup, can I ask you something?" I said as I stroked his shoulder. His eyes looked up at mine in response.

"Did you kill that man?"

The wolf looked away, as if it wished it could tell me something, as if it wished it could speak. But instead he lifted his head and looked at me, his eyes deep and knowing. He snorted and licked my face with one long slimy kiss.

"Oh my God!" I screamed, pushing him roughly off of me without thinking "That was AWFUL!" I screamed glaring at the wolf's face forgetting his size and the violence he could reap.

"Yip!" was all he said as he stood up and pranced happily.

"You're quite proud of yourself aren't you?"

"Yip!"

"Well, for that I'm not going to give you that belly rub you were hoping for."

The wolf stopped and laid down, rolling onto his back looking up at me. His tongue hung out of his giant mouth to the side, making me laugh at the ridiculous gesture of submission. If this was really happening it would be frightening, but since this was all a death's door delusion anyway I allowed myself to enjoy his playful antics and rubbed his belly, scratching with my nails, making his back left leg twitch in glee.

"You like that huh?"

_Twitch twitch_

"How about up here?" I scratched his chest kneeling down close to his large claws, allowing his paw to wrap gently around me.

"Alright, I have to go home now; I'm planning to go to a friend's house later."

The wolf looked down and away from me. I'd swear he was pouting.

"You would like him, he's fun."

The wolf looked back at me and appeared to raise an eyebrow rolling onto his stomach.

"Not like that, Jacob's just a friend If you weren't imaginary I'd take you with me!"

The wolf's breath caught and looked at me harder, studying my face for meaning as if he was looking for some kind of clue as to what made my skin this color or what made my heart beat.

"You ok Pup?" I asked stepping forward and placing my hand on the side of his muzzle.

"Yip" he said softly, leaning his head against me before standing up and bounding off in the direction towards my house.

We walked quickly for me, slowly for my new furry companion through the trees. He mapped out a course for me and waited patiently when I stumbled, all along yipping or snorting in response as I talked. I hadn't spoken that much in weeks, but something about him was easy, maybe it was that he didn't speak back, maybe it was that I was relatively convinced that he was imaginary and my body was lying somewhere in the middle of the forest unconscious and bleeding.

After a while I started to get tired and the wolf slowed his pace, staying next to me now.

"I was further out then I thought" I said, leaning against him heavily as I stopped and took my last sip of water. "Good thing you found me huh?" I asked looking at him. I smiled at the intelligent face looking back at me.

"Don't scold me; I don't need a lecture from a mutant."

He snorted and bumped his nose against my shoulder gently before standing taller, effectively pushing me off of him and beginning to walk.

"Are we close?" I asked as I saw a break in the trees ahead.

"Yip!" he sped up, making me increase my pace, happy to be near home.

"Bella! Bella are you out there?" I heard Charlie call from the house.

"Yeah Dad!" I screamed without thinking making the wolf jump back behind a tree.

"You don't want him to see you?"

The wolf shook his head no.

"Ok Pup, I'll go the rest of the way myself."

"Yip!"

"What?"

"Yip!" the wolf said looking at me with pleading eyes.

"You want a Scooby snack?"

The wolf snorted and shook his head no.

"You want…"

"Yip!" he gestured with his head toward the house.

"You want me to stay out of the woods?"

He nodded.

"Yip!"

"Hmmm…You want me to tell Charlie about you?"

The wolf shook his head and growled softly.

"No, don't worry, I won't, I don't want to have to start seeing a therapist for these delusions, at least not so long as they're the kind that keep me safe" I smiled at my guardian wolf as he turned and walked away, looking back at me one last time "Yip!"

"Bye!" I said, surprised at how much I was going to miss him. I watched him retreat into the forest sadly, hoping he would return someday…if he was real.

"Bella!"

"Coming Dad!" I cried running back to the house quickly. It I'd looked behind me I would have seen two dark eyes following my movements, making sure I reached my destination. If I'd looked toward the woods from my room when I changed before heading out to La Push, I would have seen a red streak running past my house, making sure to now always include the Swan residence in his daily patrol.


	3. Chapter 3

Jacob was sitting on his front porch, consumed with some book he was reading that he stuffed into the bag sitting next to him when he heard me coming up. I had been looking forward to seeing him. After my morning…that I wasn't even ready to try and process…I was looking forward to an easy day of just hanging out with Jake. I hopped out of my truck, expecting my usual hug and cheery greeting but instead all I got was a lift of his chin; "Bella" he said flatly.

"Jake, what's wrong…what…when did you cut your hair?" I ran over to him bending in front of where he was sitting, not looking at me. My fingers laced through his now short hair pulling softly as if willing it to grow with the force.

"What did you do?"

"Nothing Bella, it's no big deal" he said looking at me now, his eyes hard and far away.

"Jake, it's not nothing, its…your hair! I mean, it was so beautiful!" He had had the longest, softest hair that fell over his shoulders. I would braid it when we watched movies, like a girlfriend. Now he looked older, almost unapproachable. I found myself unsure of what to say, my fingers still entaingled in his hair.

"Naw, it's ok" he stood up and moved away from me, letting me really see him for the first time. His movement was smooth and graceful, not the usual clumsy awkwardness he had around me. He stretched and yawned distracted with his movements so that he didn't notice my jaw had dislocated and was now resting on the gravel walkway.

Jacob had grown up since the last time I saw him. His body was long and muscular, he was taller then I remembered and his form was…well Jake was buff. It was shocking and kind of wonderful. He looked down at me then, smiling for the first time since I arrived. And there he was, my Jacob, the one I had come to rely on, my only friend, my ray of light in this horrid little town.

"You wanna head down to the beach early? Maybe swim?" he asked a new smile on his lips, one that spoke of secrets and adventure.

"Yeah, ok, let me get my bag" I said quickly but he was at the truck before me, pulling my backpack out smiling at it before looking up at me.

"There's mud on your bag…what have you been up to?"

"Oh, I was hiking this morning."

"You weren't out there alone?"

"Yeah, well, it was ok."

"Bella, next time you should call me, I'd go with you."

"I know, it was just spur of the moment and I was ok, really."

"So do I need to lecture you on the dangers of hiking by yourself?"

"No, um, someone already did that."

"Charlie knew you were out there?"

"No…someone else…"

"Oh…ok…well, did you have fun?"

"Um, well for a while and then…well I got a little lost but…yeah I guess I did have a lot of fun actually."

He beamed down at me, his warm brown eyes melting softly, showing me that under this new body and new hair, my Jacob was in fact alive and well.

Jake grabbed his bag after handing me mine and we walked down to the beach slowly. He walked so close to me, I could feel the heat coming off of him. The urge to reach out and take his hand was palpable and I knew that if I did he wouldn't mind. Jake had never been shy about his feelings for me, but for the most part he kept himself in check, knowing that I wasn't interested.

But something today made me wonder, would I be interested in him if I knew _anyone_ else? I hated thinking that I was using him or falling into him just because he was here. He was smart and funny and so easy to be with. He made me feel like there was nothing in the world to worry about. And now, well, he'd grown into himself and I couldn't help stealing looks at his new height, hair and physique.

We reached the beach where the pit for the fire was already dug and plenty of wood was inside and piled around the ring of fallen trees that would be used as benches. I threw down my bag and pulled off my shirt and jeans without thinking. I was wearing a bathing suit underneath, why would I be shy? The two piece was hardly revealing, just a razor sports top and bikini bottom but when I looked up and found Jacob's eyes smoldering as he stared at me, I was suddenly aware of just how little I was wearing.

"What?"

"Nothing" he coughed looking away and…was Jacob Black blushing?

Before I had a chance to tease him about it though he pulled off his shirt revealing the most shocking surprise yet. I'd been swimming with Jake before, and he was always in decent shape, thin and muscular, but whatever he had been doing over the summer had filled him out in all three dimensions. His abs were tight and piled on top of each other, was it even possible to have an eight pack?

"What?" he said, mimicking my tone, turning to look at me darkly.

"Nothing" I mumbled, looking at the sand.

"Right…exactly…" he smiled before kicking sand at me.

"Hey!" I smiled looking back up to his open face.

"Heh, come on" he said taking off toward the water, leaving me awestruck as I watched his back as he ran. The muscles across his shoulders and flank moved as he ran, making his body look like it was all connected and moving with the purpose of a predator. I shook my head, unnerved by my body's sudden warmth and desire to touch my friend, and ran after him.

In the water he had gone out further then we usually dared, past where my feet were able to touch the ground, although if I put my head under it wasn't really that deep. "What are you doing all the way out here?" I asked swimming up next to him.

"Jake…what is this?" I asked touching his arm realizing he was standing fine in the deep water.

"Oh, nothing" I wrapped my arms around his neck and clung to his back, letting him be my anchor in the deep water. I quickly debated but decided against wrapping my legs around his waist, although a week ago I had done just that without thought.

"That's not nothing" I said, moving around him, keeping my hands on his shoulders, feeling the hard muscles under his soft skin glide under my fingers in the water. "That is a tattoo" I said, pretending to try and scrub it off.

"Hey, stop that!"

"What, when did you get a tattoo?"

"Just a few weeks ago" he said not looking at me "look, it's really no big deal."

"No big deal huh?" I was facing him now, my hands on his shoulders, my body bobbing in the water behind me. "I bet Billy freaked."

"Nah, it was ok."

"Seriously? Charlie would have me flayed."

"Yeah, I bet he would" Jake said bringing his hands to my waist and pulling me to him. His hands were warm against my skin, even underwater I could feel the imprint of each finger against me. I looked up at my friend's face surprised to find a man looking down at me. "Seriously, it's no big deal."

"Hmm…if you say so, but I don't think I can be friends with the kind of hooligan who has tattoos" I smiled up at him, my hands unconsciously moving across his shoulders as I felt the molecules of water between our bodies heating up.

"Well, maybe I shouldn't be your friend then" he smiled softly looking at my lips.

"Jake" I said quickly, pulling away before I lost myself in him and whatever was happening between us. I swam back away from him chastising myself for being a chicken, but also not wanting to ruin the great thing we already had.

"Bella" he mocked me, swimming past me easily, circling around me like a shark after his prey.

"So now you're a big muscular thug who gets tattoos and rides a dirt bike and tries to seduce innocent girls?"

"I wouldn't say I'm _trying_ to seduce innocent girls…it seems to be going pretty well so far" he smiled at me, more bold in his intentions then usual. And so there was only one thing to do which was splash him when he came near and while he was distracted dive down and pants him.

I swam away as hard as I could, hearing him laugh and yell at me. Before I knew it though he had me by the feet and was pulling me back to him, turning me around and pulling my body against his chest. My legs wrapped around him instinctually, as if that's where they were always supposed to go.

"You don't have to resort to such antics to get me naked Bells" he breathed as he tightened his hold on my back, crushing my breasts against him until our lips were almost touching. "Jake don't" I whispered into him.

"Why? Why not?" He asked eyes half closed. I could feel his lips shaping the words against mine.

"You're about to ruin everything" I said, my hands slipping out of his hold and down his strong arms. My body responded to him without my consent and I recognized the unfairness of the mixed message I was giving him but didn't know how to control it.

"No, maybe I'm about to make everything better" he said, bringing his mouth to my lower lip and…

"Jake! That you out there man!?!" someone called from the shore, interrupting this moment before it could even happen.

"Fuck…" he muttered, putting his forehead against mine, surprising me with his language, that wasn't something he'd ever said to me before. "Out here!" he called back releasing me, "Those fuckers ruin everything" he snorted looking at me sheepishly.

"Hmmm" I said, slitting my eyes and looking at him, unsure of what to say now.

He smiled his winning smile and winked at me before diving underwater and swimming back to the shore. I swam a moment longer alone, feeling the water against my now hypersensitive skin.

What had just happened, I had almost allowed my best friend to kiss me, and if I was to be completely honest with myself I was about to kiss him back. Jacob…Jake…he was…he was too special; I couldn't risk what we had. Friendships could be ruined with just one kiss. But I couldn't help but admit I'd been staring at his mouth when he spoke, just wondering how he'd taste.

I looked back at the beach and watched his body as he walked up to a group of boys who were all well built in just their swim trunks. The hooted when he walked up, congratulating him like something had happened, but I couldn't imagine what. I decided then I'd just let him take the lead, see what happened, could it be more dangerous to deny something that's meant to be ours?

Swimming back to the beach I left the safety of the water behind me, exposing my body to the elements and eyes of the boys in front of me.

"Hey!" I heard someone from further up the beach call and all 4 of Jake and his friends turned quickly, immediately walking to him. I wondered who it could be.

As I walked up the beach I noticed that they all had the same tattoo on the same arm. I frowned wondering what Jacob had gotten himself involved in, was this a cult or a gang or something, but as I worried he turned and smiled at me, winking, as if knowing I needed to have my fears abated. Smiling back I looked down at the sand the rest of the way back to my bag.

I pulled a towel over my shoulders and sat on one of the logs next to a kid I recognized as some older kids started the fire.

"Hey, Quil right?"

"Yep, that's me, great and powerful Quil Atera" he smiled looking at me.

"You're Jake's friend right?"

"Not so much anymore" he said glaring at the group of half dressed boys talking a ways away from everyone else.

"Something happen?"

"You could say that, he and Embry, they…changed. What are you still friends with him?"

"Yeah, I guess so" I said biting on my lip, not sure if the almost kiss effected the definition of 'friend' or not.

"Well, good for you, you must be one of the elite few then" he said sourly.

"What happened? I was hanging out with you guys just a few weeks ago; I thought he was your best friend."

"Used to be, used to be me Jake and Embry, but now look at them, they're in the cult of Sam Uley now, no room for me in their lives anymore."

"That's Embry?"

"Yeah."

I remembered back on Jake telling me that he and Embry used to be tight, but that he got sick and changed and now he and Quil wondered if he was on drugs or something, he was so edgy and angry all the time. Could Jake? No Jacob wouldn't do drugs…

"What happened to them?"

"You saw Jake's tattoo?"

"Yeah…"

"Well one by one they like all get sick and disappear for a few days and then they come back, all hard and mean and with that tattoo…they keep looking at me too…like they're waiting for me to join them." He said looking down. "I keep trying to talk to them, but they just blow me off, and then I find one of them staring at me. Its really creepy."

"I'm sorry Quil."

"Yeah…me too."

"Bells!" Jake called motioning for me to come join him now that their secret meeting was done and the new handshake voted on.

"In a minute Jake" I said and received a glare. What was that? He had no hold over me, one almost kiss did not give him the right to decide who I could talk to. I turned back to Quil rolling my eyes at my friend's behavior.

"Bella…you should go" he said looking at me and then up at Jake's approaching figure.

"Bells, come on, we're sitting over here."

"I'm just talking to Quil Jake, I'll be there in a minute" I said looking up at him, not about to be bossed around.

"Bella, really, it's ok" Quil said looking at the sand like a kid without a friend in the world, which I guess he was. He looked so young, so sad.

"Thanks Q, I'll see you soon ok?" Jake said, staring hard at his former friend who just shrugged without looking up. The fire was blazing now, raging behind Jake's impressive figure, for a moment making me imagine he was a vengeful and possessive god, come to claim me as his own.

"Look Jacob, just because you can abandon your friends doesn't mean I will, I like Quil, I'm fine sitting here, go back to your new crowd and I'll be over in a little while ok?" I spoke clearly and with more conviction then I felt. I didn't want to get involved but I wasn't about to become someone Jacob could command or control and I did like Quil.

Jake snorted at me, a familiar glare in his eye, before he smiled and chuckled. "Ok Bella, whatever you want" he ruffled my hair before turning and walking away the air lighter now that he was gone.

"Thanks" Quil muttered.

"Sure."

"You didn't have too."

"Well, I didn't do it all for you, I do like you Quil."

"Really?" he looked up at me, hope in his eyes.

"Yeah, and if Jake's willing to be a dick like that to you and then boss me around, I don't know, maybe he's not who I think he is" I sighed looking over to where he was engaged in a wrestling match with another well built teen, clearly winning.

I sat with Quil for a while, talking and laughing at his corny jokes until more people arrived. When I was convinced he wouldn't just be sitting alone and sulking I made my way over to Jake.

"Hey! It's the tree-frog!" one of the boys called as I walked over, receiving a blow to the stomach from Jake that would have put anyone else on the floor. He however, just laughed.

"What?" I asked.

"Don't mind Jared" Jake said coming over to me "He's just struck by how small and cute you are."

"Sure, sure" I laughed looking up at his smile, forgetting for the moment everything Quil had said.

"Come on, lets go for a walk" he said taking my hand and pulling me with him.

"Hold on" I slipped my jeans back on after shaking out the sand before skipping over to him. "Ok, lets go."

"You know, you putting on _more_ clothes wasn't really what I was hoping for."

"Jacob Black!" I said smacking him in the arm as my other hand intertwined its fingers with his. The feeling of his hand in mine, his skin against my arm as we walked was perfect. It was calming and exciting.

"So you have a good talk with Quil?" he asked as we walked.

"Yeah, he's a nice kid."

"Yeah" Jacob said a hint of sadness in his voice.

"Why'd you stop being friends with him?"

"What?" he stopped and looked at me.

"He said you guys didn't hang out anymore."

"No, we don't, I mean, I've been really busy" he kept walking a far away look on his face.

"With what? There's no school…"

"Bella, don't ok?"

"What? I mean, what would make you abandon your best friend?"

"He's better off" he grumbled under his breath.

"What? How?"

"He just is, trust me."

"Would I be better off if I didn't hang out with you anymore?"

"That's different."

"How?"

"Because…I…I couldn't stop hanging out with you Bells, you mean too much to me." He looked out into the water and we were quiet for a while, walking, listening to the evening cries of the seagulls and the lapping of the water against the shore.

"Jake, I don't know what to do with all of this" I said sitting on a fallen log we had come to.

"What do you mean?" he said sitting next to me, drawing circles in my hand as he held it.

"I just, I, a tattoo? And just dumping a friend like Quil? And these new friends? Who are they?"

"Oh, that's um, Sam and Paul, you met Jared and there's Embry."

"Embry who you were friends with last year."

"Yeah."

"Who you hated, like passionately because he did to you what you're doing to Quil."

"I guess."

"So, why would you be friends with him now?"

"I can't…look, I can't explain it all to you, but these guys' they're great, they're like my brothers and…fuck…I'm sorry but some things I just can't tell you."

"I don't like that either" I said pulling my hand out of his.

"I'm sorry" he looked at the sand between his feet, shoulders bent in on himself, suddenly looking so vulnerable.

"Jake, are you ok? Are you like in some kind of trouble?"

"No Bells" he chucked darkly "nothing like that."

"Are you sure, cause we could, talk to Billy or Charlie or something if you needed to, I don't know, get away from them."

"My Dad knows all about it Bella; it's not some kind of cult or anything ok and I'm tied in, I'm here for life, this is, this is who I am."

"That's ridiculous, you're 16 years old; you have no idea what you're going to do with the rest of your life."

"No, you have no idea what _you're_ doing for the rest of your life. I'm pretty fucking clear on what my path is."

"And when did you start swearing?"

"What? Oh, I don't know, I didn't notice."

"I did."

"Did I offend your delicate sensibilities?"

"No, it's just, not like you."

"Well, I guess I've changed."

"I can see that, you're like, huge."

"You aren't the only one who's grown up Bells" he said taking my hand again and standing up. "Come on, let's get back huh?"

"Sure, ok, are you sure you're ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine" he said quietly leading the way back to the fire, deep in his own thoughts as evening crept in around us.

Sitting with Jake and his new friends was more like hanging out with a group of overgrown 4 year olds. Jared wouldn't stop calling me treefrog and Paul kept picking fights with Jake. The oldest, Sam, sat with his fiancée Emily the whole time. It was dark, but it looked like there was something wrong with her face. Her hair seemed to always be in the way when I would try to look though.

"Come on you fucker, fight fair!" Jake cried as Paul slammed his shoulder into his gut in another surprise attack.

"Uggh, you're so new, there's no way you should be this strong!"

"And yet!" Jake said gleefully and he tossed Paul over his shoulder earning a growl and a hunched opponent who looked like he was about to strike.

"Enough!" Sam bellowed and the two boys wiped off the sand clinging to them and came back to the group.

"Sorry" Paul said smiling at Sam.

"Just _try_ to behave ok?"

"Sure sure" Jacob laughed coming to sit on the sand by me. I was up on one of the logs talking to Embry who was making me laugh with stories of Jake from Junior Highschool.

"So, when'd you stop doing pigtails?" I asked Jacob as he leaned against my leg.

"Embry…" he hissed.

"Ha, sorry Man, she should know about your _sensitive_ side before she picks you over me."

Jacob snorted and looked up at me.

"Don't worry Jake, I think a man in pigtails is sexy" he smiled and laid his head on my leg.

"You tired?" I asked unconsciously bringing my hand to his head and running my fingers through his soft hair, letting my nails rake across his scalp. It wasn't like when I would play with his long hair, there was something notably more intimate about it, but I didn't stop. It was nice, relaxing to be with him like this. After all of our banter and talking today, just being with Jake was a relief.

He took a big sigh and settled into my lap, letting me hold the weight of his heads, his shoulders relaxing. "Yeah…haven't had a chance to sleep much lately" he whispered as I rubbed the muscles in the back of his neck and hairline before letting my hand move across his shoulder. I could hear him purring slightly as I rubbed his neck and shoulder.

His skin was warm to the touch and soft. I saw him close his eyes and the lines on his face softened, making him look younger again, like the boy I'd been friends with just a few weeks ago instead of the man I was fighting to find the boundaries of our relationship with today. I rubbed and scratched, listening to his new friends banter, watching night descend around us.

"Bells, you're putting me to sleep" he sighed lifting his head up and looking back at me, turning his body and putting an arm over my legs. He rested his chin on his shoulder, his eyes locked on mine. My hand acted without asking first, used to touching him now, and ran my fingers across his hairline and down his cheek. He sighed into my touch closing his eyes softly.

"Jake" Sam called from outside of our moment of intimacy, breaking the spell his skin was casting on me. "Go home, you need to sleep, you're on early morning remember?"

"Yeah Sam, ok…" Jake sighed before looking up at me. "You ready?"

"Sleep alone Jake" Sam called sternly making me glare at him "Hey, just making sure" he said holding his hands up in a playful gesture of defense.

Jacob chuckled before standing up and walking over to grab his back and say something to Jared. I grabbed my bag, stuffing my towel inside before looking around for Quil to say goodbye, but I couldn't find him anywhere. He must have left already. I felt bad for having had so much fun with his old friends when he wasn't welcome. There was definitely something weird going on with them.

Jake and I walked back to his house slowly, now comfortably holding hands.

"So why'd Sam send you home? What are you doing in the morning?"

"Oh ahh, just working."

"You got a job?"

"Kind of."

"What is it? Cars?"

"No, um, this is more like a Tribe thing, you know?"

"No…what kind of Tribe thing?"

"Look Bella" he stopped turning to face me "I can't…I can't tell you everything you want to know ok? There are some things I just can't tell you."

"Why?"

"Stop pushing ok? I just can't."

"I don't like this Jake, I hate what's happening to you! I mean, Quil and a tattoo and some secret job…"

"I'm still me Bella, I'm still just Jake."

"I don't know…sometimes…it's like you're someone else."

"Would you like me better if I didn't talk?"

"What's that supposed to mean."

"Nothing" he grumbled starting to walk back to his house again.

"Jake, I, you're not making sense, why can't you just _talk _to me?"

"Because I can't Bella, I just can't so drop it ok? If you want to…if you want to be my friend or whatever this is there are just some things…I can't tell you."

"Well, then I guess I don't want to do this, I don't like secrets and I don't like being lied to."

"I'm not lying to you ok? I'll never lie to you."

"But I should just trust you about all this, with no explanation."

"I know it's not fair, but yes, that's what I need you to do."

"I can't."

"Bells…"

"No, I'm not…I can't" I dropped my head, looking at the ground as we walked the rest of the way in silence, hating that something so great was over before it even had a chance to start.

In his driveway, next to my truck Jake stood aloof. "I'm sorry Bells, if I could…if there was anyway to…"

"Its ok Jake, I'll talk to you soon ok?"

"Let me, come on, let me come over tomorrow."

"After your mysterious job?"

"Yeah…"

"I don't think that's a good idea, maybe this weekend we can do something but…I need to just…think a little…"

"Bella, please, don't…don't give up on me…"

"Good night Jake" I said, climbing into my truck and driving away as he watched after me, kicking at the stones in his driveway.

* * *

**Thanks for all your comments! I'm glad you're having fun with this, it's a sweeter story so far, but they'll be more drama and intrigue as we go. I have a few ideas I'm mulling over...**  
**Now's the time to put in your requests though, what would you like to see? The Cullens will be at Forks High but how big of a role should they play?**  
**And should Bella give Jake a chance before she knows the truth? Will she ever know the truth?**


	4. Chapter 4

**Ok Kids, because SO MANY of you have asked I will address imprinting here. I hate imprinting. I hate that it ruined my darling beautiful loving Jacob and turned him into a pedophile freak. I hate it almost as much as Jake does in the books, which if you remember, was quite a lot. So...in this story there is no imprinting in the traditional sense. What happens is that the wolf nature and the human soul have to AGREE on a mate. When they agree then the bond that is formed is much like imprinting but it is not the unbreakable all knowable thing, just a very strong bond, like a soul mate. The idea here being that the man and the wolf are part and parcel of the same soul. Ok? So as far as did Jake imprint on Bella? Well when his wolf self saw her he couldn't leave her out in the woods alone, he cared for her, but I can't say if the man and wolf have agreed to love her or not yet. Why can't Jake tell his "imprint" about the wolves - because no such clause exists. Sam and Emily? Well, I wrote them together before I thought too much about it, I'll have to deal with their relationship and why no Leah for Sam later in the story.

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Three weeks until the beginning of my Senior Year of high school. I was looking forward to the end of my boredom and dreading the beginning of what promised to be a miserable year. I didn't want to meet new people and I wasn't excited about the effort it was going to take to try and make friends. I'd been here almost the whole summer and only really had one friend to speak of and technically right now I wasn't even speaking to him.

Jacob had been calling me almost everyday since the bon fire, but I just didn't know what to say to him. Sometimes I would have Charlie tell him I wasn't here, sometimes I would talk to him but our conversations always went the same way: him asking to see me, me asking him to tell me the truth, him telling me he couldn't, me hanging up. I felt bad, like I was being a bitch, but I didn't think I could let him in any more then he already was if he was going to start by keeping things from me. How could I trust him with my heart when something was going on with him that he wouldn't tell me.

And so I spent my days watching movies, reading the entire years assigned books for school, hanging out in the barren library, cooking for Charlie and the station house and lying in the yard. One day when I'd finished the laundry and wasn't in the mood to read I was watching some terrible made for TV movie about Joey Buttafuco and heard a soft "Yip!" from the back yard.

I muted the television, certain I was imagining things…"Yip!"

"Howwwwl" I smiled running to the back door and throwing it open.

"Yip!" I was greeted by a giant red wolf standing in the tree line, tail wagging.

"Pup!" I called running out to him without thinking of the insanity of my actions. "You came back!"

"Yip!" he hunch down playfully in pounce mode. Before I could say anything I was knocked back on the ground with him standing above me licking my face over and over. I swatted at him screaming and giggling.

"Stop it! Oh my God! Stop it!" he sat back with a huge wolfy smile on his face.

"I'm happy to see you too but YUCK!" I laughed reaching out to touch his muzzle, making sure he was real. "You're real" I said in amazement. How could this creature be something other then a dream?

He leaned into my hand and purred stretching out next to me on the grass.

"How have you been?" I asked, propping my head up on my elbow scratching him on the head. He snorted.

"Oh yeah? Working hard huh?"

"Yip."

"Man got you down."

"Yip!"

"Good thing you came to visit then" I rolled onto my stomach putting my chin in my hands and kicking my legs. "I've had a crappy couple of weeks too."

He looked at me and tilted his head.

"Oh, well…there's just nothing to do and the one friend I have, well we got into a fight."

"Yip!"

"Yeah, it sucks, but he's…I don't know he's keeping things from me…"

"Yip!"

"He still calls me and he's trying but…I don't know…I don't like it."

_Snort_

"Don't judge, you don't know what's going on."

_Eye Roll_

"Right Bros before Hos huh? Figures you'd take his side."

_Rumbling Chuckle_

"I'm glad you're here though" I looked over at him and was greeted with a wolfy smile.

"Sometimes I think I like you more then people."

"Yip!"

"Well, you're easier to talk to and you don't pretend to know things you don't and I can just be myself with you" He nuzzled against my arm sweetly and I scratched under his chin.

"Are you hungry?"

"Yip!" he nodded his head exuberantly.

"What do giant mutant wolves eat? Hmmm, I don't have any dog food."

_Snort_

"Ok…I have some hamburger meat. You want a burger?"

_Nod_

"You want it cooked?"

_Nod_

"OK, come on, you can sit on the back porch while I make it ok?"

He tilted his head and gestured to the house.

"Don't worry, Charlie won't be home for a few hours, come on." I stood up and walked back to the house, the red wolf next to me his head just above mine.

"You know, you are a very handsome wolf."

"Yip!"

"Don't get cocky now."

_Sigh_

I laughed and threw my arms around his neck "Thanks for coming back…I…needed a friend."

The wolf nuzzled into my neck tickling me with his whiskers. He whined slightly when I pulled away, "Don't worry, I'll be back out with lunch in just a few minutes. Look, if you sit up here you can see me through the screen door."

"Be good Pup." I said scratching his ear one last time before going inside to make lunch.

Pretty soon my wolf started coming everyday for lunch. I would make something big for dinner and keep leftovers for him the next day. We would sit in the grass and I would read to him aloud, saving one book just for when he came so he wouldn't miss anything if I read ahead. Sometimes we would walk in the woods and sometimes we would just talk. I found him surprisingly easy to understand and soothing to talk too.

The only thing that worried me was that no one else ever saw him, I began to worry that I was in fact dreaming him and slowly going insane. But when pressed I'd have to say I didn't really care; I looked forward to his visits. And so my days were broken up in 4 parts. The mornings I would do chores or errands or go to the library, the afternoons I would spend with my wolf, the evenings I would spend with Charlie and every night I would get another call from Jake.

Talking to my wolf was helping me soften when it came to Jake; I guess just having to think about him out loud was having that effect on me. The wolf seemed to think I was being too hard on Jake and had maintained his opinion that I should go see him. But I wasn't sure, and taking advice from something out of a comic book didn't seem wise.

The end of the summer passed quickly and I was surprised to find that with my new companion I was almost happy. At night though I couldn't stop my mind from drifting to Jake…and Jake's lips…and Jake's arms around my waist. But then I would see the sad look in Quil's eyes and the hard refusal he had made to share his life with me. I didn't know how to reconcile my Jacob with this new harder man he had become. So I kept my distance, afraid that anything less would lead to more confusion and heartache.

The Friday before school was supposed to start I was anxious. Charlie would be home all weekend and I didn't know if this would mean I wouldn't see my wolf again. How would I see him if I was in school all day? I hated to admit it, but I was going to really miss him.

"Yip!" I heard outside, right on time.

I walked out back and saw him, red and magnificent in the bright sun. His fur shone and was longer now, I had teased him about needing a hair cut or to shed for summer and he had just snorted at me.

"Pup! What do you have?" I asked seeing something in his mouth. As I approached he lowered his head and placed it gently into my hand.

"My Kafka book! Where was it?"

He gestured over his shoulder toward the woods.

"I must have lost it that day I was in the tree."

"Yip!"

"Did you read it?"

_Nod_

"How? You don't have thumbs?"

He snorted and poked me with his nose in the shoulder.

"Ok, well did you like it?" I laughed as we strolled back to the house for lunch.

He shrugged his shoulders noncommittally.

"What? You know I wish you could talk sometimes."

He raised an eyebrow at me.

"It would be easier, you have to admit."

He shrugged his shoulders again and lay down in the grass at the bottom of the porch steps.

"Ok, well I'll be right back" I said, running in to get what had become his bowl, an old mixing bowl of my grandmothers and my lunch.

We sat in the sun while we ate and I leaned against his side, feeling safer then anyone had the right to feel.

"Pup, I start school on Monday."

"Yip!"

"I'm going to miss you."

_Nod_

"Will I still see you ever?"

_Nod_

"Good…I'd be sad if you disappeared. You're…important to me" I smiled over to him and his dark eyes looked at me knowingly.

"I wonder what you'd say if you could talk."

"Yip!"

"I don't think you'd say that" I laughed.

"Do you want to read today?"

_Shakes Head No_

"Do you want to go for a walk?"

_Shakes Head No_

"Just wanna hang out here?"

_Nods_

"Ok…sounds good" I sighed laying more of me against him and yawning. I ran my fingers through his hair, scratching his side softly as the sun warmed me through to the core. I relaxed against him and allowed his breathing to lull me into a deep sleep.

I awoke to a cold nose prodding my cheek. "Go away" I whined, burrowing deeper in the soft fun that was keeping me so warm

_Whine…Poke_

"What?" I complained opening my eyes slowly; the sun had started to set.

"Yip" my wolf said softly poking me again.

"Do you have to go?" I asked.

_Nod_

"I'll miss you" I said into his side and I buried my face in his long fur.

"Yip…"

"Ok" I stood up slowly keeping my hand on him "I should go make dinner…"

"Yip."

"I'll see you soon ok? I should be home from school by like 3:30 if you want to, you know, come over" I was nervous, talking to a wolf, hoping to see him again. What was wrong with me?

He stood up and walked up to me, lowering his huge head and leaning his forehead against mine.

_Purrrrrr_

"Ok Pup" I cooed, scratching the side of his muzzle lightly. "Go on now" I said pulling away and smiling at him, sad eyes looking at me as he nodded in response. "Bye…" I called.

The evening passed slowly as Charlie was in a sour mood, having worked an unusually difficult case that he didn't want to tell me about. So he watched something on CNBC while I emailed my mother Renee after dinner. By 9PM I was actually beginning to wonder when Jake would call. Our conversations were short but something about him still trying…

I decided that enough was enough and I picked up the phone. As I flipped it open to dial it rang in my hand, making me drop the damnable contraption.

"Hello?"

"Hey Bells."

"Jake! I was just about to call you."

"Really? Are you on drugs?"

"No…I…when you hadn't called I realized I missed you."

"Oh good, that's progress!" he laughed.

"Hmmmm."

"So what are you doing?"

"Emailing my mom and then I was going to read some."

"Yeah? Anything exciting?"

"Oh ahh just something a friend returned today."

"Oh, ok…you gonna tell me the title?"

"You won't know it, it's a Kafka story."

"Really? I just read him this summer!"

"No way, you're making that up to get on my good side."

"Seriously Bells, I read Metamorphosis this summer, what are you reading?"

"Metamorphosis…"

"No shit?"

"Yeah!"

"That's seriously bizarre."

"Ok so how did you like it?"

"It was Ok, I thought the description of the transformation was pretty amazing, really visceral."

"Big word there Mr. Black."

"Yeah well, I'm working on furthering my edu-ma-ka-shun."

"Good" I laughed, happy to be so comfortable with him again.

"I feel bad for Gregor though, you know he's still the same guy underneath."

"Yeah…"

"If he could change back and forth then his family would still love him."

"If he could hide it you mean?"

"Well, if he had too, but I think Grete would still love him in his other form if he could still you know, participate in life."

"Yeah…you know Kafka had Tuberculosis, and his sister took care of him."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"How do you know that?"

"I don't know, I liked the story so I read some about him… The story kind of is the same a his life or at least what he was afraid of, you know being a burden and all."

"Yeah…being stuck someplace, having no choice about it really sucks."

"Is that how you feel? Like you're locked in your room all the time?"

"What do you mean?"

"You just, you know, you said you couldn't leave La Push…"

"Yeah, but, I mean that's different."

"How? It must seem really stifling to not be able to go anywhere else."

"I probably could if I really wanted to but, what I have to do here is important."

"Like taking care of your Dad?"

"Yeah…and the other stuff."

"Are you ever going to tell me?"

"Bella, I swear, I would if I could… I can't… I can't say it any other way, but if there was one thing I could change, not being able to tell you would be it. Everything else I can handle."

"I miss you Jake."

"I miss you too Bella!"

"I don't know how to make this work…"

"Just…let me try huh? Anything you want, I'll take you on a hot air balloon ride, I'll teach you how to fly fish, I'll buy you a puppy! Just let me try."

"Definitely not another dog."

"Another?"

"Oh…ah…no, never mind."

"Okaaaay."

"It's no big deal."

"Have you been taking in strays again?"

"Not since you Jacob."

"Ohh that hurt!"

"Sorry" I laughed, happy to be able to talk to him with the air clearer now. I wasn't happy that he still wouldn't tell me what was going on, but somehow, having it out there like this was better.

"So hey, Quil wanted me to say hello."

"Quil?"

"Yeah."

"Like Atera?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You're not friends with him."

"Yeah I am…he's ahhh, grown up a little since you saw him last and so you know, that's good."

"You're happy to have him back?"

"Yeah…Its too bad it had to be this way but…"

"Does he have a tattoo now too?"

"Bella…"

"Just asking."

"Yeah, he does."

"Ok."

"Ok?"

"Yeah, Jake, I don't know what all of this means but…I…I don't want to stop being your friend. You just…you have to be honest with me ok?"

"I promise Bella, I will never lie to you, I never have. If there are things I can't tell you I just won't but I won't make something up ok?"

"Ok…I'll try…"

"You will?!?" he squealed, more excited then he had planned on expressing.

"Ha, yeah, I will."

"Good, ok good – um come down to First Beach tomorrow? We're having a bash before going back to school on Monday you know like one last hoorah."

"Ok…"

"Really?"

"Yeah Jake, really."

"Good, yeah, that's awesome, ok…um…I'll tell the guys, they'll be so glad to see you and you can meet Kim and Leah…"

"Jake, calm down, you're going to like give yourself a stroke."

"Ok, I'm just…I didn't think you'd…I'm just happy."

"I'm not making any promises Jacob."

"I know."

"And I'm still not your girlfriend."

"I know."

"Ok then."

"Ok."

"See you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, come to my place at like five?"

"Ok."

"Ok Bells."

"Ok."

"Yeah…ok bye" he chuckled.

"Ok."

"bye."

"yeah."

"Bells?"

"what?"

"Are you going to hang up or say good bye or anything?"

"Yes."

"When?"

"Soon" I smiled into the phone.

"Ok."

"Ok."

"Yeah, bye."

"Bye Jake."

"See you tomorrow."

"Ok."

And then I heard the phone click and he was gone for the night, the stupid smile on my face making my face hurt until I laughed out loud. I changed into my pajamas quickly and turned off the lights. As I drifted off to sleep I heard the howling of my wolf out in the night.


	5. Chapter 5

**My Lovlies! I'm sorry I wasn't able to respond to all of your comments to chapter 4 – I had a friend in the hospital and needed to help take care of her. So when I got home I dove right into writing this instead of emailing you all back. I hope you'll forgive me, I LOVE getting your comments so much, especially you Wolf Girls who put so much thought and love into your comments, it really means the world to me! It was swirling in my head all day! I hope you like what's happening here.**

**Also, there's now a playlist for this story. I totally love music and am completely inspired by it so listen ok? And tell me what you think! I love to share music with you guys. I know my tastes are a little...esoteric...but give it a try. You'll be rewarded with some amusing choices, some meaningful ones and even the song Walking in the Air that inspired this story! http://www**** (dot) playlist (dot) com/playlist/19663366155/standalone**

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**I drove out to La Push more excited then I thought I would be. Breaking the silence between Jake and I would be a good thing. I wanted everything to go back to normal, I wanted to be able to trust him and…be with him. I didn't know if our tentative truce on his new "job" would be sustainable but as I drove up to his house I smiled, glad I was at least trying. What an amazing friend I would lose if I gave up on him.

Walking to the house I heard him calling to me "Bells!" he was walking/jogging out of the woods towards me in nothing but a pair of jean shorts looking, well, absolutely amazing. I was dumb struck with the image before me.

"Hey you!" he said swooping me into a hug. He buried his face into my neck and I heard him inhale deeply. "Oh, it feels _so good_ to be able to wrap my arms around you!"

"Ok, down boy" I laughed pulling away from him, overwhelmed by the sheer quantity of skin that was touching me. "Did you grow again?"

"Oh, ah, probably" he said smiling at me.

"God, is Billy slipping you growth hormones or something?"

"Something like that I guess" he smiled down at me "Come on, let me change and we'll head out to the beach."

"Ok" I said letting him take my hand and walking me back to the house.

I sat in his living room while he changed and looked around the small house, it was sparse but comfortable, just the kind of place I could imagine Jake and Quil hanging out. I guess there were more of them to get to know now though. My brief interactions with them at the last bon fire had been fun, but intimidating, they were all just so _big_.

"Yip! Yip!" I heard outside the house and I jumped up, wondering why my Pup would be here.

"Pup?" I called stepping outside before running straight into Quil and Embry

"Pup? Is that what you're calling him now?" Embry said before Quil scooped me up.

"Oh my God!" I screamed as he twirled me around on the deck.

"Bella! I'm so glad to see you!" he said putting me down. I finally had a chance to look at the boy before me and he was…well he wasn't really a boy anymore. He had grown at least four inches and had broadened by another three at least.

"Quil? Is that you? Are you on steroids?"

"No! It's great isn't it? Watch this" and he ran out into the yard and did a back flip in the air.

"Quil!" I screamed laughing "That was awesome!"

He beamed up at me "I know right?"

"Stop showing off" Jake said from behind me, now in jeans and a tee-shirt, but no shoes. None of them had shoes on.

"You're just jealous I'm so much better at this then you."

"I think not newbie."

"No way man, did you _see _Jake last night when he…"

"Em!" Jake said suddenly, making us all jump. He nodded at me quickly.

"Sorry" Embry said, looking away.

"Crap, this is going to be hard" Quil said looking at me.

"It's ok; you all work with Jake right, at his new job with Sam?" I said, letting them off the hook.

"Is that what we're going with?" Embry asked looking at Jake.

"For now" he said, wrapping an arm around me smiling. "You really are the best you know" he said into my hair.

"I know!" I said running down the steps to Quil "Ok, lets go!" I jumped onto Quil's back and he carried me like I was a stuffed animal, my weight barely slowing him down.

The boys jogged all the way to the beach talking and laughing as we went, happy to be together. "So Quil" I said quietly into the back of his head "you're in the cult now?"

"Ha, yeah I guess, but it's not a bad thing, actually it's really cool."

"So do I need to worry about Jake? I mean, he won't tell me and I figure you won't either but…"

"No, I can't tell you, sorry, but it's good, I promise, and now that we're all together we can watch out for each other again you know? Like we used to."

"Ok then."

"And I would bet you know more about it all then you think you do."

"You think?"

"Yep, if you just thought about it a little I bet you'd figure it all out no problem."

"Hey" Jake said as we came up to the bonfire. "You gonna let me talk to my girl at all tonight?"

"Who said I was your girl?" I asked, cocking my eyebrow "Quil's grown up pretty nicely wouldn't you say?"

"Yeah, maybe she's my girl tonight, that would make me…what was it she calls you?"

"Shut up Quil."

"No…there was a special little name she used…"

"Shut up Quil."

"What? What name?" I asked looking back and forth.

"Just think about it Bella…" he winked at me before walking over to Embry and the other guys.

"What is he talking about?"

"Oh, you know Quil, he's always spouting off about something."

"Hmmm" I said narrowing my eyes at him.

It was still early but the guys had already started the fire and the mountains of food were being set up. How many people were coming that we would need THAT much food! We walked up and everyone's eyes seemed to turn to me. For a moment I was really nervous until Jared called out:

"Hey it's the treefrog!"

"Hi Jared."

"Climbed any good trees lately?"

"Not this week, but the night's still young."

"Good girl!" he laughed before tossing a soda at me.

"So you're the girl Jake's been sulking over?" one of the boys I recognized but didn't know said.

"Fuck off Paul."

"So you've been sulking?" I said to Jake teasingly.

"No…"

"I think pouting or whining might be more accurate" Paul laughed slapping Jake on the back. "Awesome job last night man that was fucking fly."

"Thanks" Jake smiled.

"What'd you do?" I asked beyond curious.

"Oh Bella, you should have seen it, we were running in the woods and came across this…"

"Paul!" another of them called out, this one older. That must be Sam.

"Fuck Sam!"

"You know the rules man."

"Sorry, Bella, I'm sorry."

"It's ok, you all work together, I get it, no big deal, just…try to keep the mystery to a minimum would you?"

"You were right Jake, she's good with weird" Sam said smiling at me.

"I don't really have much choice do I?"

"Guess not, but…yeah…" he said nodding at me.

"Leave the girl alone" a woman's voice said behind me. I turned and looked at the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. Her hair was long and she was tall and striking, her nose sharp and angular, giving her a regal appearance. She was tall and muscular, almost masculine but without losing any of her grace.

"You're Bella?"

"Yeah."

"Treefrog" Jared corrected from behind Sam.

"Sure, whatever, come on, let's get you something to eat before these adolescent garbage trucks dive in."

"Great, thanks" I said walking over to her. "Thanks, that was getting a little too weird."

"Yeah, it gets that way."

"Do you know what's going on?"

"Yeah" she said sheepishly before turning to me and pulling up her short sleeve, revealing her tattoo.

"Jesus, is everyone like in cahoots to drive me insane with not knowing?"

"No" she laughed "just chill for a while, I'm sure Sam will let him tell you soon, I mean, he told Emily eventually."

"Emily, that's his fiancé right?"

"Yeah, hopefully he'll let Jake tell you before what happened to her happens to you though."

"What happened?"

"Oh, ah, that's hard to explain, but when you see her, do me a favor and don't stare ok? She's my cousin and it makes her really uncomfortable."

"Um…ok."

I grabbed a plate and food and sat down on one of the logs waiting for Jake to come join me. When he did he sat on the sand next to me and had 3 hamburgers and 2 hot dogs in addition to an entire second plate of helpings.

"No wonder you're so huge!"

"Yeah well, I get hungry."

"Apparently" I laughed, watching him eat. It was with such vigor, almost like how my Pup ate when he particularly liked something I had made.

"Hey, are you growing your hair out? You'll all shaggy."

"Well…you said you liked it long…"

"You're growing it for me?"

"Ummm…"

"Why'd you cut it in the first place?"

"Oh, it's just easier short."

"At work?"

"Yeah…"

"Well then cut it, I don't care; you look silly with it sticking out all over the place like this."

"Ok…good, I mean, I don't want you to not think I'm pretty anymore" he smiled up at me, his dark eyes sparkling.

"You're passable."

"Oh owch!" he said stuffing half a burger into his mouth.

Soon everyone was sitting around the fire, laughing and talking. It was so easy being with them and now that Quil was here, it felt…safer. Like he'd given the rest of them his stamp of approval and that meant I could relax too. I made sure to smile or talk to him whenever I could.

Emily soon joined us and since it had gotten dark I still couldn't get a good look at her face, but there was something…ominous about the way she looked at me. Sad. I wanted to ask Jake about it but they were all so protective of her, I soon got the impression that she was an off limits topic.

"Jake man, I'm off" Paul said walking up to us. "You're joining me later right?"

"Yep, mid to early, I'll be there."

"Awesome, have fun Bella, good to see you again." He said, jogging toward the tree line and taking off his shirt. Whatever this job they had it was getting weirder by the minute.

"Seriously, this is the weirdest group of people I've ever hung out with" I laughed.

"But you love us."

"Well, I love some of you…"

"Really?"

"Like Quil, I totally love Quil and I liked Leah a lot…"

"Harumph."

"Ha" I laughed ruffling his hair, letting my hand linger brushing the strands behind his ear. "You'd make such a pretty girl."

"Fuck you!" he snorted.

"No really! Have you thought about it? I mean we could start to call you Jacqueline or something."

"No, I like my gender just fine."

"If you say so" I smiled at him.

When Jake was done eating he stood up "Come on, let's walk some."

"Ok" I said smiling up at him.

We walked outside of the circle of firelight before he reached out and took my hand, lacing his fingers through mine. "So have you had a good summer?"

"Yeah, it's been OK."

"Do anything fun?"

"Not really, I mean, I've just been hanging out and cooking and hiking and stuff."

"Not hiking by yourself."

"No, with a friend."

"Oh, who?"

"Just, just someone who lives near me."

"Oh…does he have a name?"

"Why? You jealous?"

"Maybe."

"Don't be, he's…great, but not really my type."

"No?"

"A little hairy."

"Oh, I definitely need to cut my hair again then."

"Yeah, I would recommend it" I smiled up at him, happy to be able to just talk with him again. "I like your new friends."

"Good, they like you too."

"Are you sure? Sam seems…distant."

"Oh, he's just like that, don't worry, he likes you."

"But he's the one who won't let you tell me what's going on."

"Bella…"

"I'm just asking so I know who to scowl at."

He laughed dropping my hand and putting his arm around me, pulling me close.

"Jake" I said as I stopped walking and turned toward him, his arm still around me as he brought his other hand to my hip.

"Yeah?"

"It's nice being here."

"Yeah" he said leaning down to me.

"I missed you" I whispered as I brought my hands to his chest, feeling how strong he was, how safe I was in his arm.

"Bella, you have no idea what you mean to me."

"No?"

"No" he said bringing his lips softly to mine. As our lips touched the heat of his body wrapped around me, making my skin explode. His lips pressed harder against mine, moving with me as his hands tightened their hold, moving around my back to hold me close.

I'd been kissed before, but nothing had ever compared to the feeling of letting myself surrender to Jake. My arms wrapped up around his neck as I stood on my tiptoes, leaning into him, pressing my body and lips further against him. He opened him mouth and kissed my lower lip, making me shiver as I laced one hand through the hair at the base of his neck. I sighed, feeling light headed from the sweetness of him and I opened my mouth, taking his lip slightly into my mouth. His tongue graced along my lip and…

_Hooowwwwwlllll!_

Jake tensed and pulled away from me, looking into the forest strangely.

"Jake?"

_Hoooowwwwwllllll!!!!_

And then another voice joined the first as the howling continued.

"I have to go" Jake said not looking at me, still lost in whatever he saw in the trees.

"What?"

"I…Bella, this is one of those things ok…but I have to go."

"Jake, what's going on."

"I'm sorry" he said, kissing me quickly "I'll call you or come over tomorrow ok?" he looked at me, panic in his eyes. Whatever was happening had him terrified.

"Ok, Ok Jake let's go."

"No, ahh, I have to…you can get home right?" he said backing away from me and stepping toward the forest.

"What? Yeah, but…"

"Ok, Bella, I really am sorry" he said before running into the woods pulling off his shirt as he went.

I was left alone, standing on the side of the ocean, listening to the desperate howling of wolves, completely lost. Trudging along the sand I came back to the ring of trees and found only Emily and Kim left.

"Did they all leave?" I asked looking at the two women.

"Yeah…"

"Are they Ok?"

"They will be" Emily said, her head held high, pride and determination emanating from her.

"Ok…can I help clean up?"

I bent down and started picking up plates before Kim walked over to me and whispered under her breath, watching Emily "Do you know what's going on?"

"No" I whispered back, glad not to be the only one out of the loop "Jake just like freaked and said he had to go and ran off into the woods."

"That's what happened here too…when the howling started" she shivered looking off into the dark trees. "I thought it was just Jared and the guys but…even Leah ran off…"

"Yeah, she has a tattoo now too."

"Really?"

"Yeah, she showed it to me."

"Freaky…"

"Girls! I can finish up if you want to go…there's not much left to do" Emily called over to us with an unexpectedly kind smile.

"Umm, ok, thanks Emily" I said before looking at Kim…"Do you want to like…come over?" I asked her anxiously, not wanting to be alone.

"Yeah, that'd be…great…I'm just going to worry until I hear from Jared anyway." She smiled at me tightly.

"Come on, I'm parked at Jake's."

We walked back to my truck in relative silence, listening to the sound of the water and the nocturnal animals that were hunting and playing in the trees around us. Every now and then we would hear a howl and stop to look where the sound came from. They were further away now and I was worried, for Jake…for my Pup. That howling couldn't be from him could it?

We drove back to my house with the windows open, talking about the boys and school starting and everything except the sound of the wolves in the distance.

"Bella!" Charlie called when Kim and I walked in the house "I've been so worried about you!"

"Dad, why, what's going on?"

"There's been, there's been another animal attack and those howls out there, I don't know what's going on in that forest but when you weren't here…"

"Dad, its ok" I said reaching out to hug him, breaking our general no contact rule. "I was out at La Push, remember? Why didn't you call if you were worried?"

"Oh…ah…I forgot about the cell phone."

"I'll write the number down again ok?" I said smiling at him.

"Ok, thanks, I'm just so glad you're ok."

"I'm fine Dad…um, this is Kim; can she stay here tonight? The wolves have her kind of freaked out too."

"Oh yeah, definitely, let me pull out the air mattress and you can set it up in your room."

"Ok, thanks" I said, squeezing him again so he would know I was ok.

Charlie kissed me on the head before pulling away and smiling at Kim. "Alright, I'll be right back" he said walking upstairs.

"Your Dad's sweet."

"Yeah, he's great."

"Do you think? Those animal attacks wouldn't have anything to do with Jared and the guys would they?"

"I don't know Kim…I really don't know…" I remembered back on the day I saw my wolf dismember and decapitate the man who attacked me in the woods and shivered. "I hope they're ok."

"Me too" she said reaching out and holding my hand, we stood there for a moment, staring out the living room window, listening to another piercing round of howling.

"Ok, do you want something to drink?"

"No…I'm really tired."

"Come on, let's go upstairs then. We can try to sleep…"

"Thanks for letting me stay" she said softly.

"Anytime Kim, I'm…actually really glad you're here."

"Ok Kids" Charlie said bounding back down the stairs, if he didn't run them he seemed destined to fall down them. Between him and me we were constantly making fools of ourselves on those damned stairs. "Bed's in your room, just use the air pump to inflate it and you'll be all set"

"Thanks Dad…hey, what were you talking about before? Animal attacks?"

"Oh yeah, they um, there were a few down in Mason a few weeks ago, but they seem to be getting closer. A few hikers have spotted some unusually large bears in the woods around here"

"Bears?"

"Yeah, really big suckers from what they've said, so I want you girls to stay out of the woods ok?"

"Bears in the woods" Kim mumbled still holding my hand.

"Yeah" Charlie shook his head…

"Ok…thanks Dad" I said pulling Kim upstairs.

Once we were in my room Kim's fear started to take over, she sat on my bed and looked at me helplessly. "Are they out there with giant killer bears?"

"No, I don't think so, I think it's the wolves" I said walking over to my window and looking out.

"Wolves? They kill people though…"

"No, Kim, ok, I've seen these wolves Ok?

"Holy Shit! When?"

"They…they helped me when someone tried to hurt me in the woods a few months ago."

"Oh my God!...What happened?"

"Yeah, there was like, this guy, and he was…scary…and then these wolves showed up and…well they made him go away and the wolves were really gentle…"

"You…you've seen them?"

"Yeah."

"And you weren't scared?"

"I was, oh my God Kim, I was so scared." I went and sat next to her exhaling loudly.

"I would have peed myself I think."

"Yeah…But, it's ok, the wolves are…I don't know; they're good."

"You're sure?"

"Positive, if the boys are out with the wolves they're Ok. I'm sure" I said, working on convincing myself as well. Those Howls though, what would I do if something happened to my Pup…or Jake…or God…what if something happened to both of them?

I got up and started inflating the air mattress, needing something to do to keep myself from crying or screaming or running out into the woods to look for them.

"Ok, if you're sure" Kim said, wringing her hands in her lap, jumping with every howl.

That night Kim and I fell into a fitfull sleep, talking about anything and everything but the boys and their "job" and the wolves that were quieting down. Eventually we just passed out, exhausted from our worry. I couldn't get comfortable though and my body stayed on the edge of consciousness until I heard it.

"Yip!"

"Pup…" I breathed sitting up.

"Yip!" he called, softly.

I went to my window and looked out, seeing a shape on the grass under my window, lying down. He looked…broken.

"Oh my God…" I stepped over Kim and tiptoed downstairs in my sweats and tank top, creeping out the back door to where I had seen him.

"Pup" I whispered into the dark "Where are you?"

_Whine_

"Pup, are you ok?"

_Whine_

I ran toward the noise until I almost stepped on him, his fur darker then usual. I reached out and his fur was wet..sticky. "Pup…are you bleeding?"

_Nod_

"Pup, baby, are you ok?"

_Nod_

"Come on, can you stand up? I want to see where you're bleeding" he looked at me, pain evident in his eyes as he tried to stand.

_Whimper_

His right leg buckled under his weight and he fell against me, his weight crushing my legs.

"Pup, roll off me Ok? Is it just your right leg?"

_Shakes head no_

"Ok, I'm going to go get a flashlight Ok? And some hydrogen peroxide, I'll be right back, don't, don't go anywhere."

_Whimper_

"I'll be right back, I promise ok, just don't leave."

I ran to the house, tiptoeing up to the bathroom for the hydrogen peroxide and grabbed a few towels, unsure of how bad he was hurt. Downstairs I found the big flashlight under the kitchen sink and grabbed the kitchen shears before running back outside, as silently as I could. Without thinking I ran straight to him and stopped short when I saw a wolf even larger then my Pup standing next to him growling at me.

The wolf was huge and black, his eyes hard and menacing.

"Ok…It's Ok…I'm not going to hurt him" I said, hoping this wolf could understand me too. He lowered his head and then looked back at me, sitting down and looking at the red wolf bleeding in my yard.

"Ok…see…we're all friends."

I held the flashlight and looked over the wolf's body. It was hard to tell where he was hurt through the fur, but I found a large gash in his right front shoulder.

"Ok, I'm going to clean this up, Ok?"

_Whimper_

"It shouldn't hurt, hydrogen peroxide doesn't sting like alcohol, but it'll clean out whatever's in there ok? You'll be ok."

_Nod_

"Trust me baby, you're ok" I said opening the hydrogen peroxide. I couldn't hold the flashlight and clean the wound though. "Hey big guy" I said turning to the large black wolf who was watching my every movement closely.

_Nod_

"Can you hold this and aim it at his shoulder? I need help if I'm going to clean him up."

_Snort_

My wolf looked up at him and then the big black wolf nodded and opened his mouth. I placed the flashlight gently between his jaws, moving slowly so I didn't spook him into biting off my hand.

"Ok, good, see we can all work together. Come on Baby, roll on your side a little, ok? I'm going to cut the hair away from the wound. That'll keep it from getting infected."

I talked to him while I cut the hair around the wound, trying not to pull the gash open wider, marveling at how the blood was pouring from it and yet he held so still, watching me with his large brown eyes. Now and then he would flinch or whimper as I worked and I just soothed him and talked, telling him what I was doing as I worked. The hydrogen peroxide hissed as it worked its way into his wound, but he didn't jump away. I wrapped the towel around his leg, hoping it would help stop the bleeding some while the peroxide worked its magic cauterizing the wound.

"Ok Baby, where else are you hurt?" I asked looking into his soft brown eyes.

_Whimper_

"You have to tell me or I can't help."

He rolled on to his side shakily and let me see his stomach where there was another large gash, longer then the other. I sucked a breath in before looking up at the black wolf who met my eyes with concern.

"Ok…this isn't that bad Pup, we'll clean this one right up ok…it's going to hurt a little while I look at it and cut the hair away Ok? Can wolves take like Advil or anything?" I asked earning a chuckle from the black wolf and an eye roll from my Pup.

"You'll be ok Baby, just lay still ok." I cleaned this wound, noting that it was actually two gashes very close to each other and wished I knew how to do stitches. "Pup, any chance you'd let me take you to the vet?"

_Snort_

"Didn't think so…you have to try not to move around too much though and come back so I can look at it, make sure you're ok…you could, you could just stay right back here behind the house…Charlie would never know if you hide in the woods. That way I can check on you."

My wolf rolled over and stood up shakily before shaking his head no and leaning his forehead against me.

"What have you been doing out there?"

_Whimper_

"Fighting more bad guys?"

_Nod_

"Keeping me safe?"

_Nod_

"I love you, be careful, I don't know what I'd do if you got hurt" I whispered.

"Yip" he said softly, looking up at me, his eyes tired.

"Go sleep…come back tomorrow ok?"

"Yip" he said looking down.

"Please, come back tomorrow, in the night again if you have to, but don't make me worry ok?"

My wolf looked at the black wolf who nodded and then looked at me. I saw a toothy smile around the flashlight before he bent down and dropped in on the ground. The black wolf approached me slowly.

"Hi…do you…are you hurt too?"

He shook his head no before sitting down and looking at me intensely.

"You're welcome big guy…I guess you're in charge huh."

_Nod_

"Ok, well, that means you're the one I'm coming after if he gets hurt again ok? So you make sure you watch out for my Pup."

_Smile_

Behind him I heard my Pup chuckle before another howl broke our calm conversation making them both turn their heads sharply.

"That one of your brothers?"

_Nod_

"Go on then, but be careful" I said before walking up to my wolf "Come back tomorrow ok? Promise"

_Nod_

"Ok, Bye" I said before wrapping my arms around his neck and breathing him in. "Bye" I pulled away, tears in my eyes, knowing that I couldn't keep him here, he wasn't a pet, he was…my friend and I had to trust him to know what he was doing.

I stood in the yard and watched them disappear, listening to a few more haunting howls before going inside to shed my now bloodstained pajamas and go back to bed.


	6. Chapter 6

A new school in a new town with all new people. This would be Bella Swan's definition of Hell. I thought I was going to throw up on the drive into town, wishing beyond reason that I could go to the Rez school. I missed Jake…he hadn't called or come by like he promised and when I called Billy just told me that he was sick and couldn't talk. I didn't like this eerie feeling I had that there was something really really wrong.

And on top of everything I was exhausted. I had been up all night, watching out my window for my wolf to come…but he never did. I know I must have fallen asleep at some point but even that was fitful, with visions of blood and fur and broken limbs. I was alone…not able to tell anyone about what had happened. My Father wouldn't be able to handle that the wolves were good and I was too worried to confide in Kim. I didn't want my fear to infect her, pulling her further into the crazy world of secrets and mystical beasts I had found myself in.

You'd think that returning to the routine of normalcy, being just a teenager would be a relief, but instead I was…resentful to have to rejoin people who couldn't possibly understand my worries. My wolf was hurt and hadn't returned and Jake…he was sick after having run off so mysteriously the other night. I felt alone and like reality was swirling around me, leaving me in the eye of the storm, unsure of what would happen next.

Kim had called me on Sunday when she got home and said that she'd heard from Jared. He'd been tight lipped and tired when she talked to him, but he was Ok, and insisted everyone else was Ok too…but why didn't Jake call if he was Ok? My mind kept drifting to the moment before he had run off, when his lips had moved with mine, filling my body with a feeling or warmth, excitement and rightness.

I didn't want to deny what I felt for him anymore, I didn't want to fight him off, but where was he? I hated the secret that was driving a wedge between us more then I could express, but I needed him, I knew that now. I'd been so afraid to get close, worried that I just wanted someone, anyone, to connect with. I didn't want Jake to be the default, but I couldn't imagine that anyone else in the world could possibly make me feel the way he did when his arms had wrapped around me, pulling me to him.

So as I pulled into the parking lot of Forks High, my thoughts were far away in the woods.

In the office I checked in and was assigned another student to show me around. Eric was nice enough and seemed genuinely excited to meet me, but I just couldn't muster up the energy to be anything other then cordial. As the day progressed I was able to relax some. I found that Eric was well liked and negotiated the social disaster of being the new student for me nicely once he realized I was incapable of doing it myself.

My classes progressed slowly, letting my mind drift back to my worries, keeping me in a constant state of agitation. At least everyone so far was really nice. It seemed I was able to make at least one new friend in every class so far and they all seemed to know each other, making for an easy introduction into the Forks High social scene.

During lunch I sat with him and his friends, listening as they chatted and joked. The girl sitting next to me was Jessica Stanley and seemed to know everything about everyone. She filled me in on who was dating who and who hated what class and everything else I could need. I was able to smile and interject with a question now and then to keep her happily chatting away, letting me take it all in without having to talk too much.

Until he walked in: the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen, with mesmerizing eyes that were staring straight at me. He walked with purpose and grace, like a predator cat; his eyes never leaving mine.

"Who's that?" I whispered unable to look away.

"Oh, that's Edward Cullen, but don't bother, he's too good to date any of us."

"Oh…I wasn't…"

"Sure, don't worry about it, he's like totally gorgeous, we all know it, but he's never been interested in anyone here."

"No, I mean I kind of am already…"

"You have a boyfriend?" she asked excitedly, bringing the table's attention to me. I saw out of the corner of my eye as the mysterious Edward Cullen turned to look at me again.

"Ummm…well, I don't know if I'd say that, I mean, he's just a friend I guess."

"Oh my God, tell us _everything_" Jessica gushed, settling in for her next delicious piece of gossip, this time about the new girl which would be a hot commodity.

"No there's nothing to tell really."

"Come on! Where does he live? Back in Phoenix?"

"No, he's from La Push…"

"A Quileute! Oh my god, how hot…what's his name."

"Jake…Jacob Black? Do you guys know him?"

I heard as the entire population of the Cullen table sucked in a harsh breath behind me. I turned and saw them all looking at me. "What?" I mouthed before they all turned away, only the smallest of them; a dark haired girl, held my gaze intensely.

"What's with them?" I asked Jessica gesturing to the Cullens.

"Who knows, they're all super weird, like totally creepy, you know they all live together and are like paired up, dating…I think that's illegal."

"They aren't really related" the girl Angela piped up, she'd been quiet up until the, immediately earning my trust. "Dr. Cullen and his wife adopted them all."

"Still…it doesn't seem right."

"I wish they'd stop staring at me" I said, looking back to find Edward's eyes locked on to me.

"Forget them" Jessica said annoyed "Tell us about your mysterious boyfriend."

"He's not that mysterious" I said before realizing that was in fact a complete lie.

The bell rang then, pulling everyone out of their conversations and dictating our return to academics.

"Later, I want to know all about Jacob Black."

"Ok Jess" I laughed, wishing she'd drop it but knowing the chances of that were slim.

My next class was Biology and despite having been in the honors class back in Phoenix I was dreading it. I wasn't naturally inclined to like science, preferring to rely on my instincts and imagination when it came to figuring things out. So far that had served me pretty well, even when it got me in trouble the outcome was usually good…like meeting my wolf…

Mike Newton was in my class though, which was a relief, he was so easy to be around. He smiled as he talked about different teachers and helped me figure out how to open my locker.

"So, you have like a boyfriend huh?" he asked as we walked.

"I…you know Mike I don't really know yet, we kind of had a fight but…it's kind of complicated right now."

"Ok, well, I'll take that as a 'no, I don't have a boyfriend' then and try to win your affections" he smiled despite the serious undertone of his comment.

"Ummm…well…" I said as we entered the class room, unsure of how to dissuade him when he'd been so nice to me.

"Miss Swan, excellent, glad to see you today" Mr. Marino called out saving me from having to say anything. "I have already assigned seats for this class and you are right over here at table three."

"Ok, thanks" I said looking to where he was gesturing, only to find Edward Cullen staring at me. "Oh God…" I muttered making Mike laugh.

"Yeah, Cullen's…odd…I'm at the table back there, you could ask to switch…" he suggested hopefully.

"No, that's…ok" I smiled, not wanting to encourage him.

I sat down next to Edward and noticed the harsh look on his face before he turned away. His face was hard, like stone and although I tried to ignore him the tension rolling off of him was palpable, making me anxious. Every time I snuck a look at him I found him staring at me, his eyes black and angry.

I couldn't imagine what I could have possibly done to upset him, I mean, I hadn't even spoken to him. I didn't think I'd said anything to anyone that could have made him angry. Who was he to be sitting here giving me the evil eye without even trying to get to know me!

By the end of class I just wanted to get as far away from him as possible, hoping we didn't have anymore classes together. He seemed to feel the same way because as the bell rang he was up and out the door faster then I thought possible.

"You ok?" Mike asked walking up to my table.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"He bolted out of here huh?"

"Yeah…"

"Weird, did he say anything to you? Do I need to like challenge him to a duel? I have my white glove in my back pocket, ready to defend your honor."

I laughed smiling at him as I picked up my stack of books "No, I'm Ok, thanks for the gesture of chivalry though."

He blushed slightly and smiled "sure."

After my last class I walked out to the parking lot with Eric and Angela who were both in my English class and heard a howl in the distance. "Pup…" I whispered to myself, feeling the hair on my arms stand up.

"God, I wish someone would just hunt down all those wolves, it's seriously creeping me out the way they keep howling out there." Another girl, Lauren I think, said walking up to us.

"Are you…are you out of your mind?"

"What? They're just animals."

"They are _not_" I said, not realizing how ridiculous I sounded, standing in the parking lot yelling at a stranger about wild life. "They are…amazing and beautiful."

"Ok, are you like the president of PETA or something?" she laughed.

"You are an idiot" I said harshly making her narrow her eyes and stare at me.

"Calm down Bella, they're just wolves, and they have been _really_ loud lately" Eric said kindly, trying to distract me.

"Whatever" I turned to walk to my truck and ran right into the small female Cullen.

"Hi, I'm Alice" she said perkily.

"Hi, um, I'm Bella."

"I know" she said tilting her head looking at me intensely. "I didn't know you were starting today."

"Oh, well, here I am surprise!"

"Yeah, surprise!" she smiled strangely "Its not often I'm surprised…"

"Alice!" Edward called from his car "Come on!"

"Hold on Edward!" she called without turning.

"Ok well, I'm gonna get going ok?"

"Sure…Bella, I…I think we're going to be great friends" she said her smile warming now.

"Ok, well, I'll see you tomorrow I guess…" I turned and walked away, shaking my head at the strangeness of my day, hoping that Pup would be at my house when I got home. I was lost in my own thoughts as I approached my truck, wondering where Pup was, where Jake was…it was so strange that they always seemed to be missing at the same time…and their hair…

"Bella!" I heard someone scream making me look up as Tyler lost control of his van and came hurtling straight at me.

Suddenly Edward was next to me, crouched over my body, his hand out as if he could deflect the impact of the oncoming vehicle. "Edward!" I screamed as the van slammed against us, his hand making the side of it crumple away from us. I was stuck under him and under the van and watched shocked as he lifted it off of me pulling me out from under it with one arm and reshaped the metal so that his hand print no longer made an indentation.

"I wasn't here" he said and was gone, faster then my eyes could track where he was.

"O..ok…" I said into the air before collapsing on the ground.

"Bella! Bella!" I heard the voices swirling around me as everyone rushed over.

"I'm calling 911."

"Don't move her, she might be hurt."

"No…I'm ok…really" I said trying to stand up, not realizing how hard Edward had slammed me into the ground when he…what had just happened? How could he? I know what I saw and then he was just gone…

"Ok, the ambulance is coming" I heard someone say as I looked out into the crowd and saw the Cullen family, minus Edward, glaring at me.

At the hospital everyone whirled around me, the nurses took my blood pressure and checked me over before the doctor came. Tyler was in the bed next to me mumbling over and over again about how sorry he was.

"Bella!" I heard and turned to see Charlie walk in.

"Dad, I'm over here."

"Are you ok Bella, what happened?"

"Oh my God Chief Swan, I'm so sorry" Tyler said as my father glared at him.

"You and I will talk about this later" he growled coming up to my bed.

"I'm ok Dad, really, just a little sore."

"Are you sure? Because you don't need to be brave, if you're hurt you need to tell the doctor."

"No, I'm ok, really."

"Alright" he stood next to me awkwardly, never good at dealing with his emotions.

"Really Dad, it's fine."

"well, I'm…I'm going to go call your mother."

"Dad…" I groaned.

"Well, she has a right to know and you know, she'll just find out later and then we'll both be in trouble."

"Ok…"

"She's going to want to talk to you."

"I know."

"Alright well, I'll be in the waiting room ok? You rest here."

"Ok…"

I sat back on the bed, closing my eyes, hoping that if he thought I was asleep Tyler would stop trying to talk to me. My mind ran over the events this afternoon over and over, unable to make sense of what I had seen.

"Bella…" I heard and opened my eyes to find soft brown eyes looking down at me.

"Jake!" I cried, tears coming suddenly.

"Oh my God. Honey are you Ok?" he said, scooping me up into his strong arms, kissing my hair.

"I'm, I'm ok, I just, I was so scared and you didn't call and he was hurt and now I'm stuck in the hospital and Edward was so fast and…" I was rambling into his shoulder, so happy to have him to lean on.

"Shhh…ok, it's alright, ok, I'm here." he rubbed my back and kissed me until my breathing calmed.

"Jake, you didn't call and your Dad said you were sick and I was so scared."

"No, I'm ok" he sat down next to me, pulling me back to look at him, his hair was short again and I smiled knowing that he'd only done it because I'd told him I still thought he looked good with it short.

"Ok…"

"Are you, I mean there was a car accident? Your Dad called but didn't tell me much."

"Yeah, Tyler's Van…"

"I'm really so sorry."

Jacob turned and closed the curtain between our beds quickly without acknowledging Tyler.

"The van came right at me and…um…it stopped just in time."

"What did you say about Edward…"

"Oh, uh, nothing…"

"Edward Cullen?"

"Yeah."

"I…Bella I know I shouldn't get to ask you this but stay away from him ok?"

"Why?"

"He's…it's complicated but he's dangerous."

"Who is?" a smooth voice said from the end of the bed, I hadn't noticed anyone had approached.

Jake turned and looked to see Edward smiling at me, his eyes a light brown color…I could have sworn they were black…

"No one Cullen."

"Nice to see you Jacob."

"Hmmm" Jake said, glaring at him. Something was definitely going on between these two but whatever it was was beyond me.

"Bella, are you alright?" Edward asked calmly, ignoring Jacob as if he'd never been there.

"Yeah…I'm ok."

"Good, I'm…I'm glad…, ok, I'll go then."

"Edward" I said, sitting up "Thank you."

"I didn't do anything" he smiled at me.

"Right, I know, I just, thanks for checking on me."

He smiled and his entire face seemed to glow like a fire was burning behind his eyes.

"You are welcome" he said and turned to walk away. "See you soon Jacob" he said without looking back.

"Sure, sure" Jake said, not bothering to look at Edward, instead keeping his focus entirely on me.

"I'm so glad you're here" I sighed leaning against him and bringing my hand to his arm. There was something under his shirt and when I touched him I could see him wince slightly.

"Jake?"

"It's nothing Bella."

"Show me."

"No, let it go."

"Are you hurt?"

"No, I'm fine, really it's nothing."

"Jacob!" I was getting angry and without thinking I reached out and punched him in the right arm.

"Owww."

"Exactly, show me" I said pulling his sleeve up to expose the arm underneath. There was a bandage that covered most of the flesh of his upper arm. "Jake, what happened?" I said looking up at me, his brown eyes refusing to meet mine.

"I can't tell you."

"You get hurt and you can't tell me how?"

"No."

"What are you doing? God Jake" I fell back against the pillow behind me exasperating with never knowing what was going on. And now he was hurt! I could play this game, I would, for him, but him being hurt. It was too much. Edward was some kind of superhero, I had a mutant dog for a best friend and Jake…Jake wouldn't tell me anything. And his arm was hurt. I couldn't handle both of my boys being hurt…in the arm…the right arm.

I looked up at Jake again. He wouldn't meet my eyes despite his breath speeding up.

"I'm sorry Bella."

"Jake, let me see your stomach."

"What?"

"Lift up your shirt."

"Bella…"

"Jake…do it or this is done" I said, sitting up and swinging my legs off the bed, beginning to feel dizzy but not from the impact of my fall.

"Bella don't" he whispered as I brought my fingers to the hem of his shirt. "Please" but he didn't stop me when I lifted in, showing another large bandage spanning his midsection.

"Jake!" I whispered shock too light of a word to describe what I was feeling. I looked up, willing him to look at me. "How?"

"I…Bella…I can't" he said finally looking at me, his brown eyes so deep, so…familiar.

I ran my fingers across his stomach and detached the bandage. He didn't try to stop me this time, didn't say a word. There were two long gashes, side by side.

"Pup?" I whispered and he turned away, pulling his shirt out of my hands. "Jake…look at me…"

"Bella…you should have just dropped it."

"Jake, it can't…you can't…"

"I have to go."

"No! Don't you dare."

"I…I can't…I'm sorry" he said walking away from me without saying another word, leaving me alone with my confusion and fear.

* * *

**dum dum dum...does she know? Can she believe it? And what about Edward! Oh my god!**


	7. Chapter 7

I was silent on the ride home. Not speaking to Charlie other then a nod or a grunt. Dr. Cullen examined me and although I was struck by his kind manner I couldn't find the energy to say more then the necessary responses to his questions. At home Charlie was worried about me, but not for the reasons he should have been. He should have been worried that his daughter had been dating a giant mutant wolf. He should be worried that there were such things are teenage boys who could turn into giant mutant wolves. He should be worried about the fact that something existed that could have possibly hurt that giant mutant wolf.

When I finally got to my room I let my tears fall. I was overwhelmed, completely overwhelmed and had no idea what to do, who to talk to, where to go. I sat in my rocking chair, looking out my window into the woods as night fell. I didn't go downstairs when Charlie called that the pizza had been delivered and I didn't respond when he kissed me on the head goodnight.

Where was Jake… What was he doing out there…

He had come to me when he was hurt. He had come to me when he needed someone to take care of him. He could trust me when he was my Pup…he could love me and rely on me to keep his secret. He could be with me, why couldn't Jake? Where they the same? There were so many things that were the same, but some things… I couldn't process it. I couldn't put it together.

The moon rose in the sky overhead, bringing a cool breeze with it. I watched as the leaves danced across the dark night horizon wishing I could be out there.

"Yip!" I heard outside my window.

I looked down and saw him, my wolf, my Pup…my Jake.

"Pup?" I called.

"Yip!"

"Jake…"

"Yip!"

I looked down at him for an impossible amount of time completely unsure of what to do. Why was he here as Pup. Why wouldn't he want to talk…why couldn't he talk? It was Sam…Sam must have been… and then it struck me, Sam was the black wolf, they were all. Oh my God, they had killed that man in the woods.

I tiptoed past my father's door walking out into the night air to find the red wolf sitting patiently waiting for me.

"Are you here to apologize?"

_Nod_

"Are you going to tell me what's going on?"

_Head Shake_

"Can I see Jake."

_Nod_

"Are you Jake?"

_Nod_

I walked up to him, wrapping my arms around his neck, pulling the scent of him into me, remembering how Jake's arms had felt around me this afternoon. My tears started again.

"I like your hair short" I said into his neck making him laugh.

"Why Jake, why…How is this possible? Why wouldn't you tell me when you knew…you knew I loved you like this?"

He looked at me with an impossible expression.

"Talk damn you!" I screamed and pushed away from him. "Change…switch…be Jake…do whatever you do but let me _see_ you!"

_Head Shake_

"Why? Is it Sam? I know now! Why can't you talk to me?"

Jake looked at the ground and sighed loudly.

"Jake…" my tears started again "I can't do this! I don't care; I don't care what you are or why you are this way. I don't care if it's a curse or magic or what. Ok? I know you haven't hurt any of the people out there that they're saying are animal attacks. I know you…I know you and I know Pup and…I can handle that. But you HAVE to talk to me. Please…please."

"Yip!" he said looking at me before running into the woods.

"Where are you going?!" I screamed running after him.

"Stop!" Jake called suddenly making me skid to a halt "Hold on ok? I'm coming out" he chuckled.

When he stepped out of the tree line he was in just his Jean shorts, the gash on his stomach angry and red, but even more healed then it had been this afternoon.

"Jake…" he came up to me, standing a head taller then me, looking at the ground between us. "Jake" I cried throwing my arms around him, pulling myself up to his height, or pulling him down to mine, I'm not sure, but I clung to him, wrapping my arms around him crying into his neck. "Jake…"

"Bella…God…" he said into my hair his arms wrapping around me. He was shaking in my arms breathing heavily.

"Are you ok?" I pulled back to look at him.

"Am I…? Bella" he smiled "Of course…Are you?"

"Yeah…strangely I'm fine, but you…your stomach…"

"It's fine."

"It looks so sore" I said backing up and taking stock of his wounds.

"It is, but I heal fast, you won't even be able to see it tomorrow. I promise."

"Ok…Good."

"I…I'm amazed by you."

"Right, I'm the amazing one…you're like a werewolf!"

"Last time I checked" he smiled looking into my eyes. "Bella…can I…can I ask you something?"

"What could _I_ possibly have to tell you?"

"It's…important."

"Ok, but then you ok? Then you spill it." He smiled at me but didn't agree to my terms.

"Bells, the other night…you said you loved me…you said you loved Pup…"

"Yeah…" I whispered looking away.

"Do you…do you love me?"

"Jake…"

"I…Please, just tell me ok? Can you…can you love _me?_ Not just the wolf, but me…us?"

I looked up at him, the concern and need laid open before me. As much as this was impossible, as much as I hated that he had kept something so big from me…I did…I loved him.

"Yes…"

"Yes?"

"Yeah…I…I love you…I love…both…_all_ of you" I looked in his eyes hoping that he could see how much I meant it, how much he was to me.

"Bells…I love you so much, so much I don't think I could ever tell you" he said bringing his lips down to mine so fast my brain didn't have the time to even consider saying no. My body responded of its own will, needing him.

He kissed me firmly; his lips filling me with fire, making my heart swell and sing. He lifted me up against him, my arms wrapping into his hair, pulling slightly as I kissed him back. I opened my mouth desperate to taste him, he groaned as I brought his lip into me. This time when his tongue reached out to me there was no interruption, no reason to stop.

His kiss was like an elixir for my soul. Everything that could be wrong with this went away, every reason to deny what I felt for him, for my wolf, for my protector, my love flew away as his tongue ran along mine, making me shiver and moan against him. His hands came up my back along my sides, warming me, electrifying me until every particle in my being was begging for more of him, more of his skin, more of his taste.

His lips moved against me kissing my lips, my mouth, my cheek my chin as my eyes rolled back into my head and I leaned into him. His skin was so warm against me, my thin tank top barely separating us but it was more then I wanted to be there. I ran my nails through his hair, across his shoulders, massaging and pulling on him as his mouth consumed my neck. He pulled my skin into his mouth softly, murmuring and purring with pleasure, making my entire being vibrate with him.

"Jake, god…"

"Mmmm" he said into my skin, smelling me, licking me kissing me.

We kissed in the night for what seemed like hours, standing in my father's back yard with the stars above us we whispered our love and need to each other, tasting the truth of it on our skin. He tasted musky and earthy, like sweat and fresh air. I breathed him in, smelling a hint of my wolf, knowing that I did love all of him.

He rested his head in my neck kissing me lightly while my hands continued to explore his exposed skin.

"Bella, I'm going to have to go soon."

"No…" I said, bringing his shoulder into my mouth, wanting to feel more of his skin.

"I'm sorry, not yet, but soon, so…do you want to…talk?"

"Yeah…we need to…"

"Ok…" he pulled away from me and smiled his relaxed Jake smile before taking my hand and leading me back to the porch. We sat on the steps holding hands, looking out into the woods.

"So…" I said looking at him.

"Um…so what do you want to know?"

"You're kidding right?"

"Yeah, no, I…just don't know how to tell you all this…"

"I'd start with you being a giant red wolf."

"Hmmm"

"And the black one? That was Sam?"

"Yeah" he smiled at me.

"But he wouldn't let you tell me?"

"It's not just Sam."

"Ok, let's start there huh? Why couldn't you tell me?"

"We're…look I don't want to freak you out."

I laughed, I laughed so hard I snorted and squeaked and needed to put my head between my legs to keep from actually becoming hysterical.

"Ok" he laughed "I guess it's a little late for that."

"You think?"

"Ok, alright stop laughing" he smiled.

"I'm seriously trying" I smiled back sitting up and leaning against his side taking some deep breaths.

"So…we're not allowed to tell, it's tribe law, not just Sam, it's a really old rule…we're not allowed to tell anyone but…well we call them our imprint, but it's more like a soul mate I guess."

"What do you mean?"

"That's…I knew I loved you. I knew I would always love you, you were everything you are everything to me and when you told me you loved me the other night I thought…God if you could love the wolf, if you could take care of me and trust me like that. You were amazing Bells."

"You were hurt" I shrugged.

"But you…you…I don't even know what I would have done. When I got hurt, I didn't even think, the wolf…he wanted you…he needed you…"

"What do you mean he?"

"It's hard to explain" he looked down "It's like…I'm there and it's still me but all these instincts and thoughts and smells and stuff that I can't access when I'm just Jake are there, like there's _more_ and when I'm me, like this, I can think clearer and I can control myself better. I'm both, I'm the same, but I'm different…does that make…god…this is really hard."

"No…I…I get it, keep talking."

"But, it wasn't enough for you to love the wolf; you had to love me too. I… its orders Bells, I literally COULDN'T tell you, like physically couldn't because Sam enforced the law and he's the Alpha…so when you figured it out…I didn't know how to, what to do. I couldn't tell you but you knew!"

"So you just walked away?"

"I'm sorry."

"Stop saying that."

"What?"

"Stop saying you're sorry ok, I get it, but you have to start telling me everything now."

"ok"

"You will?"

"Yes Bella, I…you felt it right?" he looked at me, intensity in his eyes. "When you said you loved me, when I kissed you…you felt it too didn't you?"

"I…I don't know."

"What did you feel, what did you feel when you kissed me."

"Amazing Jake, just, it was great" I blushed.

"No Bella, it was more then that, please, did you feel it, it was like…electricity, like something warm was wrapping us up together, like your skin was my skin and…fuck…didn't you feel it?"

"Yeah…yeah I felt that" I looked up at him. "But I felt that the first time you kissed me."

"You did?"

"Yeah, I…I always feel that way when you touch me" I smiled shyly up at his surprised face.

"You love me?"

"Yeah…I told you that."

"But at the bon fire…at the beach?"

"I guess so, I didn't know it."

"I wish you had…it would have been so much easier to have told you then…"

"So I'm your soul mate."

"Yeah."

"And you're mine."

"If you'll have me…it's not like…it's not like you're forced into anything" he looked away.

"Jake you are ridiculous."

"What?"

"You're getting shy now? Now? You make me tell you I love you, you transform into a wolf and walk around half naked in my yard and _now_ you get shy?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Like I said – ridiculous" I smiled kissing his shoulder.

He sighed looking out into the trees. "Sam's going to be pissed."

"Because you told me?"

"No, he likes you, because I'm not back yet, I'm on patrol but Paul said he'd cover for me so I could come out here."

"What are you patrolling for? Jake what hurt you? What…when you killed that man in the woods…"

"Bella…we don't kill people."

"I, ok…what was he then?"

"A vampire."

"No way."

"Yep."

"So you're a werewolf and you hunt vampires?"

"Yep."

"And they live in the woods?"

"Most of them, some live in houses."

"No shit."

"Yep."

"No really, you're making this crap up now, there's no way."

"No really, it's true…That's why…Ok look our people, the Quileutes are descended from people who communed with spirits and when the first Vampires came here the spirits merged with some of the people, giving them the ability to transform into wolves."

"Wow…"

"And some of us still have the gene or whatever that lets us do it but only if there are vampires around."

"And there are vampires in Forks."

"Ever since the Cullens moved back into town."

"Edward?"

"Yeah, your hero Edward."

"He, that's how he…"

"What happened today Bella?"

"I should have been killed, that van, it came right at me and Edward, he like ran over to me so fast and stopped it, he lifted it off the ground and pulled me out from under it and…God he was so fast."

"Yeah, they're fast…but we're faster."

"Good…"

"That day you were walking out in the woods…that was really dangerous Bella, even without vampires and werewolves."

"I know, that man…"

"Was a vampire…he would have killed you, or worse."

"Worse?"

"Changed you…"

"Oh my God."

"Yeah."

"So you fight the Cullens? Why don't you just kill them if they're so bad?"

"The Cullens are different, we don't fight them, we have a truce with them."

"Why?"

"They don't kill people, only animals, although, as a half-wolf man I can't say I see that as being much better."

"No…but I guess they have to eat something right?"

"Yeah…I guess, Bella, are you sure, are you sure you're ok?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Well, normal people would be in like shock right now."

"No…I'm just glad you're alright and you're talking to me."

"Me too…" he sighed leaning his head against mine. "I swear, I would have told you."

"I believe you, but…no more secrets ok? Short of mystical edicts I need you to tell me everything."

"Ok."

"Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"I do love you."

"I love you too" he said looking at me intensely before reaching up and running his thumb against my lips. "So much" he whispered, his hand cradling my face as he brushed his lips against mine.

Now that I knew to expect it I felt the electrical shock run through me, like my very blood was on fire. I gasped and when I opened my mouth he dove in, assaulting me with his kissing, pouring his love into me with his tongue. He tasted so right, so perfect. His tongue soft against mine; making my taste buds tingle with his caress. Sitting side by side I turned and leaned into him, pushing myself as close as I could get, feeling everywhere that our skin touched blaze into life.

"Jake" I whispered as his mouth moved against mine, his hands on my back, my arms…."God…"

He pushed against me and I laid back on the porch, pulling him with me, letting my body have what it wanted so badly, more of him. He was against me, his weight on my chest, his bare skin against my body; his hands were pushing up my tank top as he kissed my neck. I grabbed at his back, pulling him closer to me, wanting to feel him everywhere. I wanted him to crawl inside my skin.

His lips moved down my body, kissing my shoulders and chest, making me gasp and jump as the current running through my skin licked at places I never knew could feel so…good. My hips moved against him, desperate to feel something I couldn't describe. "You smell so good" he murmured, rubbing his nose against my skin.

"Bella…can I…" he said shyly looking up at me., his hands on my ribs under my shirt, his fingers almost against the bottom of my breast "can I touch you?"

"Oh my God…" was all I could say in response as his hand moved up slowly, wrapping around the swell of my breast, holding it softly in his warm embrace.

"So soft…" he whispered, kissing lower on top of my tank top, kissing lower against me, breathing his need against me. His mouth came to my nipple and kissed it softly making me jump and push against him. My hands grabbed at him, pulling him closer.

"Jake…" his mouth opened and his breath warmed my nub softening it, loosening all of the tension making me melt against him when his mouth wrapped around it through the soft fabric. His hand was kneading me, massaging the sensitive flesh, working me up into a frenzy. "Please" I said and his hand moved away, taking the shirt with it, letting my tender flesh free.

His mouth was on my breast, sucking on my nipple as I moved my hips unconsciously against him making him moan against me. His tongue licked at me, pulling me further into his mouth as he pulled and rolled my nipple in his mouth. "Oh my God" I said loudly sitting up against him, pushing myself further into his mouth.

"Shhh Bells…you don't want to wake up Charlie." He chucked softly.

"oh oh ok…I'll Oh my God Jake." I looked at him, my hair a mess, my skin flushed.

"You ok?"

"Yeah. God Jake…"

"Yeah…" he slid up along my side, his hand never leaving my skin "I love you."

"Good."

He kissed me softly. "I should go."

"Not yet" I kissed him again, rolling toward his body his hand wrapping around my waist to my back.

"You're trouble" he smiled.

"I'm not the werewolf" I kissed him again.

"No you're worse."

"What?"

"You're a siren, a temptress, a goddess" he said kissing me on the shoulder, breathing in against my neck.

"Hmmmm…I'll have to see if there's something I can do about that."

"Yeah, some kind of antidote" his hand was working its way back up my ribs, cupping my breast firmly.

"Or vaccination" I sighed as he licked at my ear.

"Hmmmm" he nipped at my ear quickly before standing up leaving me disheveled and undressed on the back porch.

"You should go in."

"You should come back down here."

"I have to go Bells…I'll…I'll call you tomorrow or come over."

"Really? I'm not sure I can handle another disappearing Jake routine" I straightened my shirt sitting up and stared right at him.

He kneeled before me "No…not now…there's nothing that can keep me from you now Bella…nothing" he breathed before kissing me again, deeply, pulling me into his soul, letting me wrap my arms around his very essence, holding him tight with my love.

"Ok" I said as he stood up and backed away. "Be safe" I whispered before he disappeared into the tree line, off to protect the world against the monsters in the night.

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**So....imprinting? Did I do Ok? **


	8. Chapter 8

Tuesday morning when I arrived at school I was surrounded with people checking to make sure I was ok. The accident really hadn't turned out to be a big deal but considering what everyone saw, it was a miracle that I had survived. Edward had changed the course of my life forever. I would be dead or paralyzed or something if it wasn't for him. Keeping his secret wasn't hard but it was difficult to deal with all the attention. It was overwhelming but after many assurances I was able to convince my new friends that I was fine. No one asked about how the van had been able to stop so suddenly and no one seemed to have noticed Edward's involvement. The last thing I needed was to piss off a vampire.

My day passed quickly, classes starting to gear up for the year, allowing me to escape my own thoughts by diving into academics. I was a good student and I enjoyed school so the distraction was welcome. When left with too much time my thoughts drifted to Jacob…Pup…and his kiss.

That kiss last night, his hands and mouth, I was overwhelmed, just thinking about it would make my skin itch with need and my consciousness flicker. He had awoken something, some need in me that I'd never felt before. There was the way he smelled, like home, like safety that made me relax. But then he would touch me and my entire body would vibrate from the connection. My Jacob, my beautiful Jacob…I couldn't wait to see him later today.

"Bella! Hi!" Alice squeaked bringing me out of my revelry.

"Oh, Hi Alice."

"You remember my name, excellent, see I told you we'd be friends" she smiled up at me, a rare person to be shorter then I am, but somehow she seemed to take up so much space…

"Well. You're kind of hard to forget" I smiled back, unable to resist her joy.

"Good, so, you and Edward met yesterday right?"

"Yeah…are you here to make sure I didn't say anything about that?" I whispered.

"Not very subtle huh?"

"No" I smiled "but that's ok…I didn't…don't worry."

"Ok…thanks…"

"Alice, I…you know I know right?"

"Oh" she looked at me eyes wide "you…what?"

"I know what you are."

"Shhh, Bella, not here! Ok, um…maybe we can talk at lunch?"

"Ok" I smiled at her "I have the weirdest life."

"I should say!" she laughed before walking away, turning and waving happily as I watched her go.

"So you're friends with Alice now?" I heard behind me and turned to see Jessica and Lauren.

"I guess" I said not sure if I was, or why that mattered.

"She's so weird" Lauren laughed "figures she'd like you."

"Thanks Lauren!" I smiled too widely holding her eyes with mine.

"No one makes friends with the Cullens, how'd you do it?" Jessica asked.

"I don't know" we began walking to Trig together as we talked.

"I heard Edward visited you in the hospital yesterday, did he like _talk?_"

"Umm…yeah…why?"

"He doesn't talk to anyone."

"Really? He seemed nice enough."

"Nice?" Lauren cooed "are you kidding, he's like charming and mysterious and gorgeous and wow, I mean, he's totally drool-worthy."

"Hmmm…I guess he's not really my type."

"Oh right, you have your hot La Push boy friend" Jessica laughed bumping into me.

"Yeah."

"So you admit he's your boyfriend today? Yesterday you were all cryptic."

"Umm…yeah, well, we kind of sorted some things out last night" I laughed, certain that having a werewolf declare his undying love and explaining some mystical imprinting soul mate bond was beyond what Jessica could handle.

In Trig I sat next to Eric, happy to be away from the gossip mongers who were attempting to be my friends. I knew they were just curious about the Cullens and hoped I would give them some inside dish, but it wasn't my nature to gossip and the things I knew about them…well they weren't the kind of things I could really talk about.

Outside it was cloudy and gray but warm so most of the senior class was soaking up the last of the summer by eating outside. I walked out with Angela and Ben looking for Alice. Angela was telling me about the yearbook committee trying to get me to join with her.

"I'm really not the 'club' type Ange."

"Ok, I just, you know thought it would be fun."

"You should still join!"

"Yeah" Ben encouraged, looking at the girl he was so clearly crushed out on "Maybe I should join too."

"Ben, that would be great!" and her attention was swiftly diverted to him, making Ben's day.

"Bella…" a smooth voice cooed behind me. I turned to find Edward Cullen standing just a little too close.

"Edward, hi" Angela and Ben's conversation stopped short behind me.

"I was wondering if you would like to take a walk with me."

"Sure…"

"Great, Alice said you were going to meet her, but she got tied up."

"Ok, well, I can talk to her later."

"Good, shall we?" he held out his arm and I took it, wrapping mine through his, like an old fashioned couple stepping off of a stage coach…and then it occurred to me, that may be the last time he held out his arm for someone. I looked up at his face and marveled again at the perfection of his skin and features, like a plaster cast of what someone somewhere thought the ideal man would look like. What he lacked though was the warmth and love that made us human, made us special.

As we walked I could feel every set of eyes on us tracking our steps. I pulled closer to him, hating the attention, but he just laughed.

"I think we just made the school newspaper's front page" he chuckled making me step away.

"Shut up, we did not!"

"No, just, the way everyone is going crazy, thinking we're dating now or something."

"I know, they're all watching us."

"You should hear them!"

We walked around the corner of the building, outside of the sight of the shocked masses.

"You can hear them? What are they saying?"

"Oh, no one is saying anything it's more…what they're thinking."

"You can read their minds?"

"Yes."

"Can you read mine? Wait; don't tell me, what number am I thinking?"

He chuckled looking down at me with his crooked smile. "You are the strangest creature I've ever met…you aren't shocked at all to hear that I can read minds?"

"No more shocked then I was to find out you eat like goats or something."

"Lots of people eat goat…Lebanese food is full of goat."

"Yes, but Lebanese people tend to kill and cook the goat first."

"That is a good point Isabella…you are quite a shocking human."

"You don't consider yourself human then?"

"No. I'm not, I left humanity behind long ago, but I do try, to remember what it was like to be so…" he looked away from me then, a far away look in his eyes.

"Edward, how old are you?"

"Seventeen."

"How long have you been seventeen?"

"Bella, are you sure you want to know all of this?"

"I already know what you are Edward and if you can read minds you already know I'm not going to tell anyone."

"I can't…I can't actually read one mind…the only one I've ever encountered I couldn't read is yours."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Awesome!"

"What?" he chuckled.

"Is that why Alice said she isn't often surprised? Can she read minds too?"

"No, Alice, she can see visions of the future…"

"Like pre-destined events?"

"No, it changes as people make decisions in the moment, she was surprised because she couldn't see you though; it doesn't make sense, the only creatures she can't see are the wolves."

"Like Jake?"

"Yes…so you know now? You didn't know yesterday at the hospital."

"How do you know that?"

"I could read that Jacob hadn't told you yet, that he wanted to but couldn't."

"Well now he has…maybe Alice can't see me because I'm with Jake."

"Oh…are you…dating him?"

"Yes."

"Oh" he looked away "ok…"

"Edward, I don't want you to worry ok?" I reached out to reassure him, startled by how hard his body was under my touch "I won't tell anyone anything ok?"

"I believe you Bella, but our world, it's dangerous."

"I'll be ok; I have a pretty good protector."

"Good, well, just know I'm here to protect you too, my whole family is, we won't let anything happen to you."

"Thank you."

"Look, there are…some people in town" he said with a smirk "who aren't always respectful of our lifestyle." He pulled out a necklace with a design on it that matched the ring on his hand and the amulet that Alice wore "This is our family crest, if you show it to anyone of our kind, they'll know you're under our protection."

"Edward…"

"Please, wear it, it will help keep you out of trouble, any vampire who sees it and attacks you anyway is knowingly breaking our laws, it will help keep you safe just in case I am not around."

"Ok…thank you" I said, taking the necklace and putting it on, knowing that this would cause another round of gossip and probably piss off Jake, but the gesture was so kind.

"Good, that will help me worry less."

"Why would you worry about me?"

"You…humans…are so breakable, one trip, one fall, one illness and you're gone so fast." He sighed "I've seen it over and over and…Bella there's something about you" his hand reached out and stroked my face, making my skin breakout in goose bumps and my body recoil.

"I'm sorry" he said looking away sadly. "I understand your reaction, I won't ask…I won't ask for more then your friendship" he looked up at me "that's already more then someone like me could dare to hope for."

"Edward, it's just…I'm with Jake ok?"

"Yes."

"But I'd like to be your friend."

"You would?"

"Yes, and Alice…you have already been so kind to me and you are…you are my hero you know, saving me from that van and giving me this" I clutched my new protection charm.

"No Bella, I'm the bad guy."

"We'll see" I smiled as the bell rang, signaling it was time for our next class "Come on, lets go to Biology. I'm sure the gossip queens will be dying to grill me about our walk."

He chuckled and smiled at me. "I'm afraid that's an evil I can't protect you from."

"Figures – teenage girls are the worst possible monsters out there."

"Agreed, and I know monsters."

We laughed walking side by side to class, making heads turn and mouths gape in our wake.

Biology was easy because I sat next to Edward and now that we had an understanding I found that he was easy to talk to and interesting. He was very observant about the people around us and extremely smart, which I guess made sense for someone who had 9 college degrees. Mike Newton however was unimpressed with my new friendship and spent the entire class glaring at us, making Edward chuckle.

"It's totally unfair" I heard Lauren say to Jessica as I walked past her locker after school with Angela. "She's not even pretty!"

"Oh god…" I moaned.

"Don't listen to them Bella" Angela said kindly.

"I don't want to be the new girl everyone hates Ange!"

"They're just jealous because Edward likes you."

"He's just a nice guy, I'm already seeing someone."

"Yeah, well, you might want to remind him of that."

"He knows all about Jake."

"Are you sure" she said nodding toward his locker, where he was staring intently at me. I couldn't help but smile, making him laugh softly and look away. "I don't think he sees your boyfriend as much of an issue."

"Well, he should…" I said as we walked outside and I saw that Jake had come to pick me up. All 16 years old, 6'2" and 200 pounds of glorious Jake standing next to his motorcycle in the parking lot.

"Bella!" he cried walking over to me quickly and pulling me into a kiss. My mind blacked out as his lips came to mine, taking my breath away. His arms wrapped around me and he held me to him, keeping my body from collapsing as my knees gave out from the ecstasy of his kiss.

"Holy Shit!" Angela said making me giggle and pull away from him.

"Jake, this is Angela."

"Hi Angela!" he said, his friendly excitement immediately infecting her.

"Hi, you're Jake? Wow, it's um great to meet you."

"I thought you could use a ride home" Jake said to me, wrapping an arm around my waist.

"What will I do with my truck?"

"Leave it here, I can run back and get it later" he winked at me.

"Ok" I smiled leaning into him.

"Bella, what's this?" he said reaching out for my necklace.

"Oh, um…" I looked at Angela who was still standing with us. "Edward gave that to me."

"Cullen…Cullen's crest?"

"Jake…" I said, raising an eyebrow toward Angela.

"Bella, who is _this?"_ Jessica cooed joining our group, not seeing the ferocity vibrating off of Jacob. His face was harder and he had let go of my waist stepping back, his hands were shaking slightly and I could see the agitation coming off of him in waves.

"Umm, Jess, Lauren…this is Jake."

"Your boyfriend Jake?!?" Jess squealed without embarrassment making me blush and Jake smile despite himself.

"That's me!" he said proudly taking me back into his arms. He stood behind me, his arms tight around my waist.

"You're from La Push right?" Lauren said as Ben and Eric joined us.

"Oh La Push, I was thinking we should all go out there this weekend, the surf is great at First Beach."

"Second Beach is better" Jake said.

"Yeah, but we can't go there, it's private."

"You can go with me" he smiled, inviting the group onto the Reservation Beach usually reserved for residents only making Eric's day.

"Rock! That's awesome man! I'm Eric." He held out his hand for a fist slap greeting.

"Hey. Jake."

"Great that's awesome, I'm gonna go tell Mike, how about Saturday?"

"Sounds good" Jake smiled as Eric ran off, bumping straight into Edward.

"Oh crap, sorry Edward" Eric muttered scurrying back, instinctually not wanting to touch the vampire.

"It's alright Eric, I'm fine, how are you?"

"Uhh ok, thanks" he said walking away without turning his back on Edward.

"Jacob" Edward nodded at Jake.

"Cullen."

"Hey, Edward" Lauren called out "You know Bella's boyfriend Jake?"

Edward winced slightly "Yes, I know Jacob."

"Well he invited us all out to La Push this weekend, do you want to come?"

Edward looked at Jacob intensely before smiling his dazzling smile at Lauren "No, I won't be able to do that, but thank you for inviting me. That was very kind."

"Ohhh Ok" Lauren said clearly dazed from his attention.

"Bella. Jacob" he nodded at us before walking into the parking lot to wait for his family by the car.

"Lauren!" Jessica squealed setting the girls off on a fit of giggles and replaying the conversation she'd just had with Edward over and over for the next three days.

"Can we go?" I asked Jake softly.

"Yeah" he said coldly "let's get out of here."

"Bye Ange" I said before seeing Alice walk out of the building "Bye Alice!" I called waving to her.

"Wait Bella!" she called running over coming to a sudden halt when she saw Jake turn around. She scrunched her nose. "Ughh, why are _you_ here?"

"Alice!" I said scolding her rudeness.

"Sorry, he just…surprised me."

"I'll wait at the bike" he said glaring at her and then at me.

"Ok" I sighed not wanting there to be tension with my new friends. Edward and Alice were odd, but so far they were nicer then all of the humans at my school, other than Angela and Eric anyway.

"Sorry" Alice said again as she got closer.

"It's ok Alice, what's up?"

"I just wanted to apologize for not meeting you for lunch. Jasper needed something."

"That's your boyfriend right?"

"Yeah."

"And he's…"

"Yeah."

"Ok, is he ok?"

"Yes, thank you for asking." She smiled.

"Ok, well, it's alright, Edward and I had a nice time together."

"Good" she smiled at me "I'm glad we're friends Bella."

"Me too Alice" I said leaning down to hug her despite the voice in the back of my head saying not to touch a vampire.

"Oh…that was…nice" she smiled "and Edward is right…you do smell good."

"Ok, that's a little weird."

"Sorry" she laughed walking off with a wave.

Jacob was standing at his bike watching me with his arms crossed over his chest, glaring at the ground as I walked over.

"Jake, are you ok?"

"Sure, let's go."

"I'm glad you're here" I said trying to get him to look at me.

"I thought it'd be a nice surprise."

"It is…why are you being so distant?"

"I just, I don't like you being friends with them…letting them touch you."

"It's ok, really, they're nice."

"Bella…they are…Czechoslovakians…"

"And you're a mutant wolf."

"That's different."

"How?"

"I don't kill people."

"Neither do they…Jake, just, look they're nice to me and it's hard enough making friends without all this supernatural crap ok, so keep the feuding to a minimum, please."

"Fine."

"Jake…"

"What, you want me to drop it, I dropped it, let's go."

"But you're mad."

"Bella!"

"What?"

"I thought you didn't want to talk about this."

"No, I want you to stop being angry."

"Well that's not likely."

"Why?"

"You're wearing that!"

"So?"

"Do you even know what that is?"

"Edward said it was their family crest, it tells other… Czechoslovakians …I'm under their protection."

"Yeah…like a pet!"

"So, who cares what other Czechoslovakians think if it means they leave me alone?"

Edward's silver Volvo pulled up along side us with his window open. "You know we can hear every word you're saying right?" he said smiling at me.

"I really don't care" Jake sneered.

"Ok, well, I just thought I'd tell you I like the Czechoslovakians thing…very subtle" he smiled and drove off, his laugh trailing behind the car.

"Are you laughing?" Jake asked incredulously.

"What, that was funny. Jake you need to chill about this ok?"

"Whatever, can we just go?"

"Alright… or do you need to take that run now and calm down?"

"Bella…"

"I'm just saying, Pup would be more interested in going for a walk with me or playing fetch then arguing."

"Get on the bike" he laughed smiling at me finally, and with that, I knew I'd won.

"Ok" I hopped on behind him, kissing his shoulder as I wrapped my arms around his waist, feeling the electricity run up my arms and against my chest as I leaned into him happily. "I love that" I said into his neck.

"I love you" he whispered before kick starting the bike and taking off, leaving the high school population of Forks to wonder how mousy me had someone like Jake as a boyfriend and someone like Edward breaking his no friend rule for me.

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**So lets see...next should we have more school...the beach...oh or some Jake/Bella alone at her house time...hmmm whatever shall I do??  
Clicky Clicky, tell me what you thought of this chapter! I love it so much and it totally keeps me inspired!**

75 points for anyone who can identify what show the Czechoslovakians reference came from!


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry for the delay in updating, I pulled something in my back on Friday night and am STILL suffering! I wanted to get this out to you though. I hope you like it!!!**

**Sorry I forgot to add Simply She Wolf get's 75 Points for correcting naming Roswell as the source for your Czechoslovakian reference. Amanda Wilder get's 37 points for the classic Coneheads connection as well. Thanks for playing!**

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"So'd'ya have a good day?"

"I did" I said as Jake and I walked into the house. "Some of the girls at school are pretty bitchy but I made some friends."

"Like Cullen."

"Yes, and Angela and Ben and Eric."

"I don't like you hanging out with the Cullens Bells, especially when I'm not there" he leaned against my front door after closing it behind us, a serious look on his face.

I dropped my book bag on the couch and sat on the armrest, already annoyed with this conversation.

"Look Jake, as of right now I have a total of 5 friends in Forks. You, a werewolf, Kim who I can't tell about you being a werewolf, Angela who I can't tell about anything, and Alice and Edward who know everything."

"You have Quil, and Emily and the guys"

"Who don't go to school here. Jake, you're being profoundly unreasonable."

"I don't think it's unreasonable for me to not want you hanging your with vampires."

"Ok, fill me in on the rules of what mythical creatures I can be friends with. How about Leprechauns or Nymphs, are Nymphs ok, or Tree Sprites?"

"Bells..."

"No really" I stood up and stared him down "what about Banshees or Big Foot, if I run into Big Foot in the woods can I be friends with him?"

"Bella! You are an exasperating woman" Jake smiled walking over to me. "Why do you make this harder?"

"Why do you try to control who I'm friends with?"

"I'm not trying to...Bells, come on...you know me better then that! I just want you to stay safe." he walked up to me, sincerity in his eyes.

"I know Jake, but seriously lay off ok? It's hard enough being in a new school and Edward and Alice, they're the nicest people I've met so far."

"People?"

"Come on!" I flailed my arms in exasperation, reduced to ridiculousness with his behavior.

"Ok" he laughed "sorry, just, can you do my _one_ favor?"

"What?" I smiled up at him.

"Take that collar off so I can kiss you." he placed his hands on my hips seductively.

"Is this like werewolf repellent?" I asked escaping his grasp. "I can like wear it anytime I want you to go away?" I teased, backing away from his circling advance.

"Bella, if you want to keep that necklace I'm not going to fight you" he smirked "but I think it will hurt when I rip it off you neck."

I ran upstairs, playfully weaving out of his grasp, which he let me do, enjoying the game of chasing me despite him complete ability to catch me at any point.

"Alright! Alright!" I screamed in my room, backed into a corner. I took of the necklace, setting it in my computer desk drawer and shutting it away, out of sight of my jealous Pup.

"Now what was it you were threatening?" I said looking up at him through my lashes, momentarily making him hesitate. He looked at me darkly and then licked his lips before approaching me.

"You are something else you know that?"

"Am I now?" I wrapped my arms around his neck and tilted my head to the side.

"Something wicked, something devilish" he smiled before bringing his lips down to mine. The electric shock pulsed through me, making me hum with it's vibration. I could feel his kiss in the tips of my fingers, in the depth of my womb, in the core of my desire. I could feel him in every cell that made up my physical being and every cell cried out that this was right, and its desire for more.

Our lips moved together, seeking communion with every taste. His tongue seared my lips setting my skin on fire with ripples of need. "Jake" I moaned into his mouth making his breath hitch. His hands moved under my shirt, leaving trails of heat behind as he kneaded my back slowly.

I brought my hands to his shoulders, feeling the indent of where his thick muscles attached to the bones beneath. I traced the contours of his shoulders and upper arms softly as I kissed him, pulling back, making him want more of me then I was giving. I nipped at his lip and ran my tongue over his softly, never letting him devour me the way he wanted to. I smiled as he pulled me closer, his hands flat against my back.

I kissed his upper lip, letting my tongue trace along his teeth before dipping in to taste him. He was so delicious, so sweet and musky, it made me dizzy. Soon we were sitting on my bed, my leg bent next to me as I leaned over it to get closer to him. His hands rubbed my thighs firmly, making me wonder what it would be like to have him rub me other places. The heat of his skin was visible, my vision was clouded with fire and need. He cupped my cheek as he slowed his kiss firmly pressing against my lips, again and again.

I whined with needing him and repositioned myself on the bed. I sat next to him with one leg wrapped around his back, the other across his lap. I pulled myself closer, wanting to feel him against more of me. My fingers trailed across his chest as I kissed his neck, pulling his skin into my mouth, tasting that salty musk. His scent was getting stronger, heavier as we kissed and I knew his need for me was mounting, making me dangerously excited.

He turned his torso towards me, leaning against my body slightly, making me hold onto him for balance. He had one hand at the top of my thigh, right against my hip and his thumb was so close... He rubbed me there, making my hips move with him, begging him to move just a little to the right.

His other hand rested on the bed next to me and I gripped his bicep, amazed by his strength as he kissed me with such gentleness. My lips were swollen from kissing him and I could feel the chafing of his soft stubble against my chin, but I never wanted it to stop. When he leaned into me further and began kissing my neck, his hand moving from my hip up under my t-shirt I quivered, shaking with nervous desire.

"Bells?" he asked sweetly pulling back to look at me nothing but love and concern in his eyes.

"Jake, God, you're..." I leaned in, pulling him to me with my hands in his hair falling back onto my bed. His body came with me without restraint, resting softly between my legs making me sigh with contentment. His body was so strong, so big, but here with me, he was gentle and sweet and perfect. He fit with me like a puzzle piece one side make for the other.

"I love you" he said into my hair as he kissed my ear, making me shiver with the sensation of his mouth against my skin. He kissed down my neck, massaging the muscle with his tongue. He kissed softly along the collar of my t-shirt as his hand continued it's exploration of my ribs and side.

I pulled against his shirt, wanting to remove the barrier from between us, not nearly as patient and seductive as he was, but I didn't get any complaint. He sat up slightly and pulled his shirt off as I did the same.

We stayed there for a moment. Me looking up at the boy...man...I loved so much, my fingers reaching out to touch his warm skin. I traced the lines of his shoulders and made my way down his body, outlining his pectoral muscles and then the strong lines along his sides. I spread my hands out against him and wrapped around his back, pulling him down to me; his eyes still locked on mine.

His mouth was on mine in an instant, his eyes closed as he sighed and tasted me, devouring my lips and mouth. His weight fell against me stronger now, making my hips buck at the sudden pressure from his body against my core. He moaned deeply, pulling himself up along my body so that his jean covered erection was placed against me.

I called out, arching my back as the sudden hardness against me made me realize for the first time exactly what I wanted. I looked back at him, his eyes were shining and blacker then ever before as he came down to kiss me. I pulled at him, one hand in his hair the other clawing at his back as he rubbed himself against me. His hand was on my breast, pulling the fabric away so that he could reach the soft flesh beneath.

I was lost in the feeling of him, my skin was alive, everywhere he touched made flames lick out causing sympathetic nerves to call out with pleasure. He growled against my skin as he mouthed at my neck, pulling my skin far into his mouth. My hips were moving of their own will now, gyrating against Jake with purpose and joy.

"Jake..." I cried out as one hand worked its way down his body, sliding into the back of his jeans to feel his ass. I wanted to pull him tighter against me. I wanted his weight to suffocate me so that I couldn't breath, so that I couldn't feel anything but his flesh against mine.

He bit as he murmured into my neck, licking at my collar bone his hands rough against my sides. "Bella" he growled his voice low and feral. I could smell him, his desire pungent in the air, it made me loose any restraint.

I sat up into him, unhooking my bra and throwing it to the ground. His eyes flashed yellow as he plunged into me, pulling my nipple harshly into his mouth, overwhelming me with the sensation of his mouth on my breast and his hip against my core as he ground his erection into my mattress.

"Jake!" I cried as my back arched into him, his hand rolling my other nipple. I panted to breath, unable to find my bearings, my senses overwhelmed with everything he was doing to me. And then I felt it, I felt as his face elongated and his teeth sunk deeply into my flesh while his hips simultaneously slammed against me in just the right spot making me scream and writhe.

And suddenly he was gone and I was cold. I opened my eyes just in time to see him throw himself out of my window. By the time I reached it, kneeling so that my body wasn't exposed to the daylight, he was already phased into wolf form howling up at me.

"Jake!" I called, leaning more of myself out the window begging to understand, his black eyes flashed yellow again as he howled once more before running into the woods. I sat on the ground, topless and suddenly cold as I pulled my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them.

What had just happened? My eyes filled with tears as my body trembled to recover from the lack of release; my adrenaline and endorphins raging. I looked down at myself and saw the puncture marks his teeth had make, blood was swelling up and dripping down my pale skin. What had just happened?

My evening passed slowly. I did what little homework I had and made dinner for when Charlie got home. Mostly I sat in my rocking chair and looked out my window, hoping that Jake would return. At about 5PM I heard the grumble of my truck and ran downstairs to meet him, but Jared was the one who had come to return it.

"Hey Treefrog" he said as I opened the front door.

"Where's Jake?"

"Running, he said not to worry, he'll call you, he just needed to run off some steam."

"ok…"

"What happened? Did you two have a fight or something? I've never seen him so worked up."

"I…I don't know Jared, one second we were…fine…and then he just jumped out the window and ran off."

"Ok, well, I'm going to take his bike back, I'm glad you're ok."

"Sure, of course I'm ok…why?"

"I don't know, sometimes, our imprints get hurt when things get tense."

"Like Emily?"

"Yeah…"

"What happened to her?"

"She…I don't know if I should say much I mean, its not about me…"

"Please" I said taking a step towards him "If I'm going have a life with Jacob, if we're going to make this work, I need to know what I'm getting into."

"Yeah…ok…well, Sam…Sam and Em had a fight, she wanted him to move out of his folk's place and he wasn't ready to move in with her, you know, he was nervous and she didn't know about the wolf. He was the first of us to phase and he really needed his parents support and stuff…So…I guess they'd been fighting for a while and she said some shit that just set him off and he lost control, just for like a split second…and she was standing too close…and he phased."

"Oh my God."

"Yeah, his wolf, it was pissed and ripped the shit out of her face before Sam could contain himself."

"That's why Leah said not to stare…"

"Yeah, and that's how Emily found out about Sam too which was pretty rough on them, you know, he couldn't tell her but he loved her…when she took him back after that…wolf and all that's when they imprinted."

"So if Jake…lost control of his wolf?"

"You could get hurt."

"Is that why you haven't told Kim?"

"That's part of it, yeah…I don't…I don't like what we are Bella, but we don't have any choice in it."

"Jared…there's nothing wrong with what you are. You're amazing and you protect us without even being asked or thanked."

"I can see why Jake loves you, that's….that's a really great way that you see us. Sometimes though, I feel more like monster then man…"

"Jared…" I said, seeing the vulnerability of the young boy that lived inside the man's body before me.

"You know, I should go, I don't want Sam to worry I ran off too" he laughed uneasily.

"Ok. Jared, thanks for telling me."

"Yeah well, just, be careful ok?"

"Ok Bye."

I watched as Jared rode his bike out of the drive and down the road towards La Push and wondered where Jake was.

Charlie came home that night with more stories of bear attacks up in Shuwah and warnings to stay out of the woods. I couldn't listen though; the world was just too much for me right now. Vampires and Werewolves and Imprinting and Czechoslovakians and bear attacks that weren't bear attacks and boyfriends with yellow eyes... I didn't know if I could handle all of this.

I slept lightly that night; hoping to hear the familiar call of Pup outside my window, but knowing on some level that I wouldn't. I balled Jake's shirt up, still laced heavily with his scent and drifted in and out of sleep.

Jacob called me at 2AM that night, his voice husky and tired.

"You up Bells?"

"Am now." I smiled into my phone, glad to hear him.

"I'm sorry I ran off."

"Its OK Jake, what…what happened?"

"I don't really know…I need to talk to Sam."

"Ok, just don't disappear on me again ok?"

"I'm not, I'm sorry I just…we needed to run."

"Ok…Can you tell me though...What…what happened? When you…bit me?"

I could practically hear him cringing over the phone, not wanting to explain the one thing…the only thing I needed him to talk about.

"I don't know…" he whispered, barely audible. "Did I hurt you?"

"No, I'm ok…I just…was that you? Was that Pup? What…happened?"

"I really don't know Bells. I just, all of a sudden I just needed you, I needed to mark you or claim you. I don't mean to sound so…God caveman but it was just some kind on instinct and when I felt myself start to phase with you so close…."

I shuddered; thinking of Emily's hidden face and Jared's haunting words.

"Jake…"

"I'm sorry Bella, that just, really scared me and I didn't know what to do and I needed to clear my head."

"I'm not mad, I'm just glad you called."

"Thanks."

"What about…what about your eyes though…I never saw that before, with you or Pup."

"What are you talking about?"

"You're eyes, they…changed."

"Changed? How? What...Bella tell me everything."

"You eyes turned yellow before you…bit me…and then outside when you looked up at me…your eyes were yellow again before you ran off."

"Yellow?"

"Yes."

"I…Bells I need to talk to Sam…"

"Ok Jake…just…can I see you tomorrow?"

"I don't know honey, I don't know what comes next, but I love you ok? I'm not going to disappear I just need to talk to Sam…and maybe the elders…" he was talking to himself now, muttering, thinking out loud.

"Ok. I love you."

"Bella, I love you so much, you are everything to me. Don't ever doubt that."

"I won't."

"I just, I hate that I hurt you, what almost happened…I…don't be afraid of me ok? I won't let that happen again."

"I'm not afraid of you."

"Good. We just got carried away."

"What?"

"We just…until I know what's going on we can't get…carried away again ok?"

"Jake…you don't think this has anything to do with us…kissing do you?"

"I know it does, I don't know how but I know it does."

"But Jared and Kim and Sam and Emily, it's not like we're the only wolf couple."

"No…but something's different. Just, we have to just…chill…until I can figure this out."

"Ok Jake…"

"I just don't want to hurt you."

"I understand. It's Ok, I do." I yawned unintentionally making Jake chuckle warmly and I could feel his love come pouring through the phone.

"Go to sleep honey, I'll talk to you tomorrow if I can ok?"

"Ok…night…" I said closing the phone and drifting to sleep with his shirt close to me, wrapping me in his scent.

At school the next day I was distracted and unable to make even minimal effort with my new friends. The only person who didn't seem to mind was Edward, always happy to just sit with me. He never pressured me to talk and seemed to always know when and how to fill the space with his wry ironic humor. He filled me in on all the real gossip of the school that only he knew and told me some about his own life.

He had been 17 and dying of the Spanish Flu when Carlisle Cullen met his mother. She knew what he was instantly, but more afraid for her son's life then his soul she begging Carlisle to take him. Edward was thankful for the chance to live and never seemed to harbor anything but love and devotion to his second father, but nonetheless Edward believed himself damned. A conclusion that rankled against everything I had come to know about him.

Edward and I would sit outside during lunch and our now simultaneous free class, even in the foul Fork's weather. He would tell me fantastical stories that would distract me from the pain in my chest. The puncture would of Jacob's sharpest tooth having sunk all the way through to my heart

On Friday Edward picked me up from school unexpectedly, making me smile to see him. I was not happy about the stir we made when we arrived but he seemed to be enjoying the attention for once. "Its just nice not to be the freak for once" he whispered as he threw his arm casually over my shoulder on the walk in the building from the parking lot. His touch was cold, but I was becoming used to it from spending time with him and Alice, my instinct to shrink back something I was learning to control.

That afternoon he drove me home from school. I had promised to call everyone with details of our Saturday beach adventure with Jake as soon as I talked to him, hoping that today he would return my call. Disappearing Jake had reared his ugly head once again. At least now though I knew what had happened.

"Bella, I don't see why you consort with him, I mean; I know you say you love him, but look what it's doing to you."

"Edward, I thought we agreed we weren't going to talk about Jake."

"I'm not, I'm talking about you Bella, you…deserve more; someone who understands you."

"Jake understands me."

"Then why does he keep hurting you? Look at you Bella! It's been three days and you're sitting here holding yourself like your insides are going to fall out."

"Edward, it's just a set back, we're both still just trying to understand how all this works ok? And really, I need you to be my friend, not my father."

"I'm not trying to…although maybe I should, maybe if your father knew…"

"Knew what Edward?"

"What kind of people you are associating with!"

"Like Vampires?"

"Bella…"

"Don't treat me like a child Edward."

"You have no idea what you're getting yourself involved in."

"It's not your job to protect me ok? Either be my friend and support me or stop hanging out with me, I can't…I can't handle fighting with you too."

We had arrived at my house and I sat still, staring at his still frame, wishing he could understand what Jake meant to me. And at the same time, I wished he could understand what his friendship meant to me. Edward was the only person I knew who made me feel…normal, understood. I chuckled inwardly, what does that say about me if I only feel normal with a vampire.

"I'm sorry Bella…I am…I just…care about you so much."

"I know Edward. I care about you two." And before I knew what I was doing I leaned over and hugged him, meaning only to show him that he meant the world to me, that his friendship was something I needed in my life.

"What…what are you?" he stammered, slamming himself against his car door.

"Edward?"

"You should go."

"What's the matter?"

"I…you're. Bella, you should just go ok?"

"Edward, what's going on?"

"You just can't do that ok?"

"Can't do what? Touch you?"

"No, you can touch me…just…don't get so close…without warning me…"

"Why?"

"I don't want to hurt you" he whispered looking away from me, breaking my heart with his sadness.

"You won't."

"You don't know that."

"Yes I do. I know you and I know you would never hurt me."

"Bella, what I am…I'm a monster, I keep it controlled but when you get close to me like that…God…you just…smell so good" he looked up at me, his amber eyes darkening slightly as I watched the emotions play across his face. His eyes moved downward, settling on the crest around my neck before he looked back up at me, his eyes now completely black.

"Get out of the car Bella" he whispered harshly and I didn't hesitate to obey. Grabbing my back I got out of his car as fast as I could and watched as he slammed into reverse and drove away faster then the car's manufacturer would have imagined possible.

I had two men in my life that I couldn't imagine being without. One was my soul mate, my everything and he was a werewolf who was staying away because he was afraid that if he kissed me he would hurt me. The other was my best friend and he was a vampire…and I think he just tried to eat me. How could this possibly get any weirder.

I sat at my kitchen counter and sighed, resting my face in my hands when the phone rang.


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks everyone for your thoughts and well wishes for my back - it sucks but I'm a little better**. **Just don't tell Carol that I spent the day writing!**

**Fortunately Jake came to my rescue: ****http :// tinyurl . com/y4yhmsm (take out spaces...)  
**

* * *

I sighed and hung my head as I listened to the phone ring. After the seventh ring I figured that whoever it was wasn't going away so I should get up and answer.

"Hello?"

"Bella, what the hell did you say to my brother!?!"

"Alice?"

"No, it's the abominable snow man, of course it's Alice" she huffed.

"I...what are you talking about?"

"I had a vision and for a second, just a second you were flickering in and out and then you were gone again and Edward...Edward is leaving."

"What? Where is he going? That's nuts he was just here!"

"He's going to Alaska, I can't tell how long. What did you say to him?"

"Nothing, Alice, seriously, he...oh..."

"Bella...tell me now or I'm going to eat your entire family".

"Alice, I just...I tried to hug him."

"Ok..."

"It was nothing, I just, I mean in school he's always putting his arm around me and stuff, but he freaked and then...his eyes went black and he drove off."

"His eyes went black?" she said seriously like she was considering something.

"Yes, that's like, that means your hungry right?"

"Yeah, usually, but they were gold before you tried to hug him?"

"Yeah."

"And then you flickered..."

"Alice?"

"Yeah yeah what?" she was distracted with her own thoughts but I could tell whatever it was was serious.

"Is Edward Ok?"

"Yeah, I think, he's a little freaked out."

"Why did he try to...?"

"Bella, you know, I mean I've told you before you smell good right?"

"Yes."

"Well there are some people who smell better then others and there are some of us who are more sensitive to it then others and well...you smell REALLY good and Edward...well, the way you smell just affects him more then the rest of us."

"So when I hugged him..."

"It's probably just because you were in a small space together like the car so you were already...well pungent, and then to get so close..." she drifted off lost in her own mind for a moment "he's ok though, I can see it now and that's why you flickered in...ok...ok..."

"Alice, what is it? What do you see?"

"He's going to Alaska for a few weeks, just to get his bearings but he's already decided he'll come back...he can't stay away for long."

"Good, I'll miss him. I'm glad he can't just leave home."

"It's not home he can't leave." she said cryptically.

"What?"

"Nothing...just...Bella I know we've only been friends a little while but...you know you're already like a sister to me."

"I know Alice, you are to me too."

"I just...don't ever want anything to happen to you ok? Be careful."

"You're starting to freak me out, what are you seeing."

"Nothing, I...I can't tell yet...I wish you didn't spend so much time with those dogs."

"They aren't dogs."

"Whatever, just, they get in the way...this is the first time...I can't tell what I'm seeing yet but you're still...flickering sometimes..."

"Should I be worried? What...what do you think it means?"

"I really don't know Bella, but I know that Edward feels...strongly for you and I know you're important somehow to everything that's coming...when the silhouette is hung out to dry the circle will complete and time is only an enemy to those who sing...you sing Bella...blood sings...when like sees like you sing..." Alice's voice was far away, like an Angel calling down from Heaven, whatever she was seeing it had her transfixed.

It was silent, the crackle of the phone line the only sound until I heard Charlie's cruiser pull up outside. How long had we been sitting there in silent communion?

"Alice?"

"Bella..." she whispered.

"Charlie's home. Are you Ok?"

"Yes Bella, everything, everything will be just fine."

"Can you tell me what you saw?"

"Not...not yet, I have to...I have to talk to Edward."

"Ok... are you sure you're ok?"

"Yes...have a good night Bella and...stay safe." the phone clicked as she hung up without another word.

Charlie walked in happily taking off his holster and vest by the front door. His patterns of daily life never altering, creating a comfortable rhythm between us. He came into the kitchen and smiled.

"Bella! I thought we'd go out to the diner for dinner tonight unless you've already cooked."

"No, I haven't that sounds great. Let me just wash my face."

I ran upstairs grabbing my cell phone from my bag. I needed to check in with a few people before I could relax with Charlie, my life was too weird for casual conversation at the dinner most days. I quickly texted Edward:

U OK? Alice said u left. miss you. Pls call soon.

Then I called Jacob's house, not expecting an answer, my daily ritual.

"Hello?" his voice answered, heavy with sleep.

"Jake! Are you sleeping?"

"Yeah, but, it's ok, I was gonna call later."

"You were?" I scoffed.

"I'm sorry I didn't call this week, I ahh, didn't have thumbs." he chuckled, making everything instantly Ok with his good natured sweetness.

"Ok, well, just what's the plan for tomorrow? Everyone's still planning on going to the beach."

"Yeah, everyone here too, at like 3PM ok? Can we… uh, I come over early though?"

"Yeah, that'd be great."

"Ok, will Charlie be home?"

"No, he's going fishing with Harry and your Dad, don't you know that?"

"Nah, haven't talked to my Dad since I got back."

"Where were you?" I tried not to let my concern sneak through my voice but I knew it was there for him to hear.

"Running...I'll tell you all about it tomorrow ok?"

"Ok, are...are you Ok?"

"Yeah...I think so."

"Are we Ok?" I asked softly.

"What? Yeah of course Bells! Why wouldn't we be...?"

"Ummm, because apparently kissing me makes you morph."

"Yeah, well, we'll just have to figure something out. I love you, you know, nothing's changed."

"Good" I breathed out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding.

"Now's when you say you love me too" he laughed.

"Oh is it?"

"Yes."

"Hmmm...I'll have to remember that protocol in the future."

"You are a tease Isabella."

"I'm not the one who jumps out windows when things start getting good."

"You thought that was good did you?"

"Jake!" I blushed covering my eyes despite no one being in my room."

"Bells! Come on! Let's go!" Charlie called from downstairs.

"Gotta go Pup, see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah" he growled, his voice lower then usual.

"What was that?"

"I just...I like it when you call me that."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah..."

"How about when I rub your belly."

"I like that too...amongst other places."

"Jacob Black, I'm hanging up now."

"Are you blushing?"

"No..."

"Liar!"

"See you tomorrow" I said quickly hanging up before he could tease me anymore. That boy was definitely dangerous.

The diner was full that night - apparently no one wanted to cook and I was happy to see that Angela and Ben had finally managed to get themselves out on a date. I smiled and waved but didn't go over to talk to them; maybe they'd manage to have a nice normal human date. Something I had a feeling I would never get to experience.

"So Bells, how's school been?" Charlie asked as we sat down at our table.

"Oh, it's Ok, nothing special."

"You make some friend I see?"

"Yeah, that's Angela and Ben, they're nice."

"The Newton Kid seems to think you're something special." he chuckled nodding over to where Mike was sitting with his parents, staring at me. He blushed when I looked back at him.

"Yeah...Mike's been a little..."

"Persistent?"

"Yeah" I laughed as the waitress approached us.

"So Bella, nice to see you! What'll you have?"

"Umm, just spaghetti."

"Meatballs?" she asked smiling.

"Yes, thanks."

"Charlie, the usual?"

"Steak and fries indeed."

"Alright, coming right up." she smiled at him a moment longer then necessary before walking away to place our orders.

"Dad, I think the waitress has a crush on you."

"No way. Amber's 10 years younger than me." my father laughed and for a moment, I could glimpse that he was a man and see him without the filter of parental love. My father was an attractive man, there was no reason he was alone.

"I think she does, you should ask her out."

"Nah Bells, I don't need that complication."

"You know Mom's never coming back." I said, it was harsh but he should be living not waiting.

"I know that Bella...can we drop it now?"

"Yeah...Sorry...I just...you should have more of a life Dad."

"I do! I fish and I have you."

"I'm 17 years old; I'm not exactly around a lot."

"And I work; I'm fine Bella...really."

I dropped it but I noticed that when Amber came back with our food my father smiled a little broader and let his eyes notice her a little longer. I smiled to myself but didn't say anything. The last thing he needed was to be embarrassed, then he'd NEVER ask her out.

We ate in relative silence, exchanging quick comments on our food or our day. It was comfortable to be with Charlie, I didn't have to work so hard to fill in the blanks. Like being with Edward. I was starting to get worried that I hadn't heard back from him when I felt the familiar buzz of a text message in my pocket. I pulled my phone out hoping that it would be from Edward.

Going to Alaska - will B home in a few wks. miss u 2.

I sighed, relieved that he was at least ok. I still didn't know what had gotten into him. Alice seemed to think it was all reasonable and normal though. But what was normal anymore. I smiled to myself quickly.

"You ok Bells?"

"Yeah Dad, just glad I got that message."

"That Jake?"

"No...another friend."

"A boy?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, um, Edward? Edward Cullen."

"Carlisle's boy?"

"Yeah"

"He's a good kid from what I hear."

"Yeah, he and his sister Alice are in my class."

"You are dating Jake though aren't you?"

"Dad...are we really going to talk about boys?"

"I guess not" he chuckled uncomfortably before going back to his food.

We finished eating quickly and I waited by the door while Charlie took his time at the counter paying Amber. I smiled as I watched him try to flirt. I was going to need to hold a seminar for him on how to date; not that I had any idea on how to do it. Maybe Jake should give him some pointers.

The next morning came quickly; I had slept soundly and was happy to wake up to find that the morning was already half over. At 10AM I wondered downstairs and found a note from Charlie reminding me that he would be out late over at the Clearwater's for dinner and the game after fishing. I had the whole day to myself and Jacob would be here soon.

I hopped into the shower, quickly washing my hair and shaving my legs. I threw my bikini on under jeans and a tank top and packed a bag with a change of clothes. I thought about packing some food for lunch, I didn't know when Jake would be here or what he had planned. Just as I pulled my hair up into a ponytail though I heard him outside.

"Yip!"

I leaned out my window, smiling to see my beautiful wolf.

"Hi Pup! I'll be right down!"

Grabbing my bag and slipping on my converse I ran downstairs. Outside I was greeted with an excited "Yip!" and a prancing Pup.

"Hi Baby!" I called running to him and throwing my arms around his neck. Even though I knew he was Jacob and I'd spoken to him just last night it felt like it had been forever since I'd seen my wolf. "I've missed you" I breathed into the fur of his neck, taking in his musky scent.

He purred against me, lowering his head and nuzzling my neck, making me giggle as his whiskers tickled my skin.

"So...what's the plan?"

Yip! he said bounding off to the trees, returning with a picnic basket in his mouth.

"Great! I was just wondering if I should make us lunch."

He smiled a toothy smile around the basket. Lowering himself to his stomach he let go of the basket and nodded to me.

"What?"

He smiled and gestured to his back with his head.

"You want me to get on your back?"

_nod_

"I don't know Pup..." I was hesitant. There was no reason to be but he was so big and fast and something about riding on his back was so...intimate.

He cocked one eyebrow at me and gestured to his back again smiling, his tail wagging.

"Alright..." I sighed "But if I fall off and get hurt you get to explain it to Charlie

_chuckle_

I placed my hand on his side and felt the electric current of our connection run up my arm, making me smile. I loved him so much and I was glad to see him this way, I had been spending so much time thinking about Jake, it was a joy to see Pup.

I pulled myself up onto his back, my hands deep into his fur for leverage. Throwing one leg over him I put my other arm through my back pack and wiggled around to find the most comfortable seat. His fur was shorter then during the summer but still long enough that I could put my hands in it, especially at the neck where it seemed to be the thickest. I held onto his main and smiled.

'Giddy Up!"

I called and could feel his shoulders shake with a laugh beneath me. His massive body muscular against my legs. He stood up and I could feel the power he contained just with that one small movement. It was impossible to think of this as Jake. As much as I knew it was and that they were one in the same, this body, this form was so unrestrained and feral. Anytime I was with Pup it felt like I was the safest girl alive, until he decided I wasn't. I placed all of my faith and trust in him knowing that at any instant he could turn on me.

I thought about Pup's volatile nature and his ability to ease my mind without saying a word as he began to move. At first he walked slowly, letting me learn how to move with his body. His frame flexed and rolled beneath me, forcing my hips to match his rhythm. I held on tightly, afraid that at any moment he might make a sudden turn or begin to...

Mid-thought I was thrown back, only my tight hold onto him keeping me astride his powerful body. I struggled to find his new rhythm forcing my hips to move quickly against him. His stride was long and fast and I screamed with fear as a tree loomed ahead of us. But he dodged it, throwing me slightly off balance keeping our fast pace constant. The trees zipped passed us and I couldn't keep up with the visual input of everything that could hurt me, but somehow he weaved and ducked around every danger.

I lay down on his back, bringing my arms further around his thick neck and holding onto the softer fur around the front of him. I could feel his heat against me, lulling me into safety. My body was flush against him as he moved beneath me and I could feel every step, every turn, through the muscles of his back. My body warmed up from the feeling of him rubbing against me, the oil in his fur making me slide as I moved my hips and leaned with him, able to anticipate his movements now. I tightened my thighs against his flanks, holding on with every part of me.

The speed and the friction against the front of my body was intoxicating. I couldn't help the reaction of my body to the pressure against my core and breasts. I was feeling Pup in a whole new way. He wasn't a pet or a toy; he was powerful and deeply masculine. The smell of him surrounded me as I buried my face into his fur and sighed before changing the movement of my hips, allowing myself to move against him instead of with him, increasing the pleasure that was building inside of me.

Was it wrong to feel this way? Was it wrong that I moaned into his fur as I rubbed myself against him, building the tension in my body? This was still Jake…if it was Jake it wouldn't be wrong…and Pup loved me, and I loved him and they were the same… Somehow some part of me felt like I was doing something dirty, but the electric connection that tied me to him told me that no, this was right, this was what my body, our connection demanded.

As I felt the tension of my desire building his movements slowed. I controlled myself, aware now that he had been aware of everything I had done, every movement I had made. He stopped at the edge of a clearing, beautiful with crocus and bluebells and lavender growing wild in the sun. Pup lay down finally, panting from the run…maybe…

"This is beautiful" I said as I slid off of his back looking out at the open space, taken by the brightness before me after having been under the canopy of trees. "Thank you for bringing me here" I smiled turning to him, seeing his dark eyes tinged yellow and his stare intense.

"Pup?"

_Snort_

"Are you ok?"

He walked toward me slowly, his large body moving deliberately with each step. I felt the hair on my arms stand up from the passion in his gaze. This was the moment when the man I loved would rip me apart, the beast inside of him bursting through, but I wasn't afraid, I was excited…

"Pup…" I breathed as he brought his head down to mine. He moved my hair back from my neck with his snout, before burying his nose into me, inhaling loudly. I shivered from the intimacy of the contact but didn't move away.

He pulled his head back and looked at me, his eyes yellow, his teeth slightly bared before he slowly walked around me, taking me in from every angle, every vantage. Now and then he would stop and smell me, placing his face gently against my skin. When he came back to standing before me he brought his large head to mine and leaned his forehead against mine.

"I love you Baby" I said softly, bringing my hands to his muzzle, scratching and caressing him, making him vibrate with pleasure. He pushed his head against me, forcing me to step back until I reached a tree.

He leaned away before bringing his nose to my neck; he moved it slowly down my torso, inhaling deeply as he slowly took in the smell of my body. He kneeled down and brought his snout to my waist. His nose reached me center and he pushed against me, forcing my legs to part as he inhaled deeply. It was strange and wrong and erotic but as he lifted his nose to bring pressure to my core I whimpered with the pleasure.

I saw as the air shifted, reality bent as the molecules realigned themselves bringing Jacob back to me. He was kneeling before me, his hands on my hips, his face at the button of my Jeans. I had never seen him phase before but it was beautiful. Magic was something that you can't explain until you see it and while I knew Jake and Pup were the same, just like I knew Edward was a vampire; it was not real until this very moment.

"Bella" he growled looking up at me, his eyes still yellow. I put one hand in his hair and moaned loudly as he brought his lips to my mound, kissing and nipping softly against the fabric keeping him from me.

"Jake…oh my…Jake what are you…?"

I moaned as he caressed me with his mouth, his hands on my hips moving up against my body. I was crushed against the tree behind me, the sharp bark digging into my skin, but I couldn't feel it. All I could feel was my desperate need for Jacob.

He released his hold on me and stood up, bringing his mouth to mine, kissing me deeply and without any restraint. I allowed my hands to roam his body, completely aware that he was standing here, fully erect and naked, rubbing himself against me.

"Bella…fuck…" he moaned into my mouth as I gripped his shoulders, wrapping a leg around him, pulling him closer to me. His erection was hot and hard against my stomach and I wanted to feel him against my skin.

"Can we…can we lay down?" I asked between kisses, embarrassed by my request, but needing to get closer to him.

"Yeah, yeah I…I brought a blanket." He ran over to where Pup had dropped the picnic basket and pulled out a large blanket. I watched his naked form as he walked around laying it out gently. He was so comfortable, so free with his body. And that body was magnificent. I watched as his muscles moved and his erection bobbed. I was dripping with my need for him, and I had no idea what that meant.

He stood next to the blanket, completely nude, staring at me. "You smell…God Bella…you are intoxicating."

I stood basking in his lust filled feral eyes for a moment before taking off my tank top, revealing the bikini top beneath. He hissed but stood still. I smiled as I noticed his dick twitch. Reaching behind me I undid the tie of the bikini back and then did the same at the back of my neck, revealing my body to him.

"Come here" he growled, his voice so deep it was almost difficult to understand.

I smiled a sexy smile I didn't even know I possessed and walked up to the naked God who was looking at me like I was the best treat he'd even seen and was dying to taste. As I got closer I could smell him, his desire wafting out to me.

"Why does that happen?" I breathed loving the scent. I placed my hands on his chest the connection making us both gasp as it coursed through our bodies making me loose all meaningful thought. All I could think of now was getting closer to him.

His mouth was on me as he leaned us down onto the blanket. There was no pretense this time, no innocent kissing or gentle caress, this time he was on top of me, the searing flesh of his chest against me as our lips met and moved in unison. I wrapped my arms around his naked body, pulling him closer, wanting to inhale him, devour him. His hands here on the top of my jeans, struggling to undo them without breaking our kiss. He panted and growled against my lips making me laugh.

"Shut up" he said through a smile making me laugh harder.

"Do you want some help?"

"Please" he breathed pulling away from me slightly as I undid and slid down my jeans. I kicked them off with my feet as he sucked at my neck, scraping along the muscle with his teeth, purring against my skin.

I opened my legs and he settled between my thighs, his erection rubbing directly against parts of me that had never been seen before, only the thin fabric of my bikini bottom separating us. I could feel the heat mounting but I could no longer be sure if it was from him or me.

I arched my back as he made love to me through my clothing, his breath ragged and harsh. He slid along my body, making me ache for more; my nerves were overflowing with the electricity that was passing between us. His hand on my breast, my lips on his neck I moaned wrapping my legs up and around his hips.

"Oh Fuck Bella" he said as I surprised him with the ferocity of my movements. I pulled his face to mine, wanting to taste him, his eyes were glowing yellow boring into mine, but I felt no fear. I knew that no matter what he would never hurt me. They would never hurt me.

I reached down between us and pulled the fabric of my bikini to the side, wanting to feel him against me, his flesh against my folds.

"Bella!" he said eyes wide. He stopped his movements and looked down at me for an impossible amount of time. "Do you…I mean…" he blushed slightly, his innocence in stark contrast with the animalism of his eyes "Do you want to…"

"I…I don't know…I just…wanted to….feel you…" I said, completely unprepared to loose my virginity out in a field somewhere, but overwhelmed with my own need for him.

"I…we don't have to…I didn't think we were gonna…"

We both shuddered as our bodies reminded us that he was still pressed up against me. He leaned down and kissed me, moving softly against my body. "Let's wait huh? Till we know…_grunt…_what we want…till we know what's…_ahhh_…happening…" his voice hitched and he dropped his head into my neck, panting against me as his rhythm against me sped up again.

I couldn't think clearly enough to respond. I pushed against him, pulling on his skin to bring him closer to me. I wanted…I wanted more…I didn't know what…but…hhhhaaaa… He moved against me and the moisture from me allowed him to speed up, sliding, rolling against me over and over again, his body vibrating softly as the sensation of our movements overwhelmed us both.

I held onto him as my body began to convulse and I felt a shiver start in my toes radiating up my legs, making them clench tightly to Jake, pulling him closer still. I felt the fire in my clit first, it built until it burned, making me scream and rip at him with my nails, I bucked under him without control until it was more then I could bear.

He grunted and moaned above me, his hand in my hair, pulling on it without thought. As I felt him still, now shaking, his cock pulsing against me I lost all ability to think. I reached up to him and pulled him down on me and as he screamed I sunk my teeth deep into the flesh of his neck. He came against my stomach with a convulsion that ripped my own orgasm from my body, leaving us both spent and shocked. The taste of his blood was salty and I licked at him, unaware of what I was doing, just wanting to have all of him.

His wounds healed as I kissed him and his breathing slowed.

"And here I was worried I would bite you" he laughed as he pulled himself up slightly and looked down at me. His eyes the deep chocolate brown that I had first fallen in love with.

"Sorry" I blushed.

"Don't" he said seriously "Don't ever apologize to me ok? I love you." He said it with such sincerity I couldn't stop the tears that fell from my eyes.

"I…"

"Are you ok?"

"I love you so much Jake…I'm terrified and happy and overwhelmed and…God, I bit you…and Pup…" I shook my head with all the things I didn't know how to sort through "but…whatever it is, I love you."

He kissed me then, our passion spent, allowing just our love to course through our bond. The electricity was still there but instead of burning me it warmed me, filling me with fresh air and joy. There was nothing in the world better then making love to Jacob Black…I couldn't wait until we were ready to do it right.

Jacob rolled off of me, reaching in his bag for a shirt he had brought. He wiped my stomach clean, smiling shyly at me as I stroked his back, touched by the sweet gesture. When he was done he pulled on his shorts and I threw on my tank top, not bothering with my bikini top or jeans for now.

"You hungry?" he asked reaching for the basket.

"Well, we did work up an appetite" I smiled, making him blush again. Was Jacob nervous around me now?

I got onto my knees and crawled over to him, kneeling behind his back, pressing my chest against his skin. I kissed him neck making him sigh before pulling away and turning to me with two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

"Gourmet dining for us today" he smiled his Jake smile and I sat back happy to be with him. We ate quickly in silence, enjoying the sun and the sounds of the meadow. He handed me a soda and smiled when our touch reverberated through both of us. After eating we laid down, watching the clouds, his arms up behind his head, my body curled tightly to his.

He reached down and reached across his body to touch my arm, gently rubbing my skin, making me sigh with contentment.

"I'm sorry I was gone so long." He said quietly, I would have missed it if I hadn't felt the rumble of his voice in his chest.

"It's ok, really…did you find anything out?"

"Yeah…"

"And?"

"Look" he said, pulling away and rolling on his side to look at me. "I just want to enjoy being with you, do we have to talk about this?"

"Yes Jacob we do!"

"Fuck Bells."

"Are you serious? You want to just watch the clouds and hang out? I'd love that, but you're a fucking werewolf and you have yellow eyes and Pup tried to hump my leg this afternoon."

"I think you were the one humping Pup…"

"Jake…" I warned. "You know exactly what I mean! We have to talk about this."

"Ok…"

We sat in silence for a few minutes as he gathered his thoughts, eventually he laid back and looked up at the sky, talking evenly and quietly.

"So, you know how we carry the gene to be a wolf right?"

"Yeah…"

"Well we carry it in our bloodlines and some of us are more…wolf then others I guess."

"Ok…"

"So, Sam's in charge because he turned first and he's older and then when he imprinted everyone figured that meant he was Alpha you know?"

"Alpha like dog packs?"

"Yeah…"

"So Sam's Alpha?"

"No."

"Who is?"

"I am."

"What?"

"I…look I don't want to be and I told Sam to just keep being in charge because he was good at it and I'm really not ready for it but at some point I'll have to."

"What does that mean? Is that why you're eyes change?"

"No, I'm still, figuring out the eye thing…Mostly it just means that I'm in charge. You know like the edict Sam gave that we had to follow the rule about not telling?"

"Yeah" I said, getting more and more nervous about what he was telling me and what it meant for us.

"So when Sam gives an order everyone has to follow it, like physically can't not follow it, but it's not his right and…I don't want it but more and more lately I'm finding that I don't have to follow Sam and that's making things…hard."

"How?"

"Just, undermining him I guess, he's cool about it, but he's getting kind of tired of being in charge anyway. For a long time I had an out though and didn't have to take it."

"What do you mean an out?"

"You have to be mated to be Alpha."

"Mated?" I pressed…needing more answers then this.

"Yeah…" he stared up at the sky for an impossible amount of time, making me nervous. "We have to be imprinted…"

"There's more than that isn't there?"

"Yeah…"

"Have we mated?" I asked hesitantly, not sure if I wanted to know.

"No…"

"Did we almost today?"

"It's not just sex Bella…"

"Jake, you're making me nuts, what is it?"

"You bit me…" he blushed deeply and closed his eyes.

"Yeah…Why? What does that have to…? Wait, the other day you bit me…"

"Yeah…"

"But you stopped."

"Yeah…"

"This is really weird Jake."

"I know" he said sighing heavily.

I gathered my thoughts, trying to put all of this together. "Ok, so you're Alpha by right because you have more Wolf in you then Sam."

"Kind of…it's also, you know my grandfather was Chief…it's the wolf blood and the family line."

"Ok, so you're supposed to be in charge by blood right."

"Yes."

"But you can't be until you're mated?"

"Right."

"And you don't want to be in charge?"

"I…I don't know…I didn't but…lately I haven't been agreeing with Sam on everything and…it's hard taking orders from him, like it just rubs me the wrong way." He crossed his legs and sighed, I knew this was hard for him, but I needed to understand.

"Alright but, you are supposed to be in charge."

"Yes"

"And you and I…we've imprinted right?"

"Yes."

"But we haven't mated."

"No."

"Because that's more then sex…"

"Well, we haven't had sex either."

"Jacob…" I sighed exasperated, really not needing him to quibble right now.

"Sorry, no, we haven't mated. That's like a whole other thing."

"With biting…"

"And…Pup…" he blushed deeper.

"I…ok…not sure I want to know now."

"It's nothing…like kinky…"

"It sounds kinky" I said.

"It's not, it's just…you know how to Imprint the wolf had to agree? It's the same with the mating."

"I'm not having sex with Pup." I sat up quickly.

"No Bells." He laughed sitting up too. He touched his neck where I'd bitten him "I liked this…I liked…you claiming me…that's the instinct ok? For me to claim you. I didn't know what was happening the other day and I didn't know how to control it."

"Do you…is that what you want?" I asked.

"I don't know…that's a little…I don't think so…not yet…"

"Good." I laughed before I noticed his frown "What?"

"You…that's not something you…you wouldn't want to?"

"Jake, that's like you asking me to marry you…"

"Yeah, I guess." He blushed and looked away.

"I'm not…I'm not there yet Jake, I mean, you're 16!"

"I know…it just…I don't _feel _16" he looked at me again, the love in his eyes as clear as if there was a neon sign. "I love you Bells." He leaned in and kissed me sweetly, pressing his lips against mine gently, lingering long enough to make me want more before pulling away.

"I love you too."

He smiled at me sadly before getting up. "We should head to La Push and help Sam dig the pit for the bon fire."

"Ok" I stood up and placed a hand on his chest looking up at him. "Are you…upset with me?"

"No Bells…I just… It's nothing, let's just go have fun."

"Okay." I said unsure, frowning with worry as I turned away from him to pull on my jeans. When I was dressed and he had packed up the bag he blushed before pulling of his jeans to phase.

"No more hiding behind a tree?" I smiled.

He laughed and I could hear his chuckle change as the air distorted and Pup appeared before me, his smile holding a little more meaning then ever before. He tracked me with his eyes as he picked up the basket and lay down so I could climb back on his back.

I came up to his face and kissed his forehead. "I love you too" I whispered before taking my place on his back and riding off toward Second Beach.

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**So what do you think? Click and let me know, this is longer then usual and it has me kind of nervous because I covered a lot more in one chapter then I usually do...**


	11. Chapter 11

**Ok - I tried to get into the mating thing a little more for you and give you some insight into pack dynamics here. I guess it's kind of a filler chapter but it'll help as we go to have all this said. I love you all! Please comment and let me know what you think! Edward will be back soon and then things will...pick up :)  
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**Also - if you want to listen to Sam's Beach Party Playlist it's here: http :// www (.) playlist (.) com/playlist/19725606411/standalone**

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We arrived at Sam's at the same time as a small dark brown wolf. I hopped off of Pup and kissed him, scratching his muzzle for moment before he bounded back into the trees to pull his Jeans on from the basket in his mouth. He and Quil walked out together.

"That was you? Hi Quil!"

"Yeah, who else could be that beautiful?"

"Well, I don't know, you seemed kind of…small."

Quil's jaw dropped as Jake burst into hysterical laughter, having to lean against his friend's naked torso to catch his breath. Quil pouted looking quite put out.

"I'm sorry! I've just gotten used to Pup!"

"Riiiight, big man Jake with his cute little love name."

"Shut up, little man." Jake laughed again.

"At least I'm not 'imprint-whipped'!"

"Be nice to your brother!" a laughing voice called out of the kitchen window. I turned and saw Emily leaning out, a smile on what I could see of her face, the rest of it covered, per usual, with her hair.

"Come on" Jake threw his arm over my shoulder as we walked. Inside the small cabin it was warm and comfortable. I could tell Jake and Quil were used to spending a lot of time here as they flopped into the chairs around the dining room table and started eating the muffins that were stacked in a basket.

"Leave some for your brothers!" Emily laughed from the door way of the kitchen. "Hey Bella" she said, with an undertone of knowing.

"Hi Emily" I smiled, blushing slightly. Sam knew about Jake and me so it stood to reason that Emily did too. "Can I help with anything?"

"I'm just packing up the massive amounts of food these monsters require."

"Hey!" Quil said, muffin pieces flying out of his mouth.

"You're cleaning that up" she laughed going back into the kitchen. I trailed behind, not sure how to talk to her, but feeling like…well knowing that she was the only other imprint who had ever been in my position.

She handed me bread to slice while she packed a cooler with ice and sodas, it was so full for a moment I wondered how we would ever carry it, before laughing to myself to think of something that these guys couldn't carry.

"You're laughing" she said sweetly.

"Yeah, sorry…"

"It's ok, how _are_ you?"

"I'm happy…I'm a little freaked out." I decided being completely honest was best in this case. Setting down the knife I turned to face her, leaning against the counter.

"Hmmm…yeah…I know that feeling." She smiled again, pulling a piece of hair out of her mouth.

"What…Why do you hide?" I asked. I knew Leah had asked me not to bring it up, but it seemed important.

"What? No…I just don't…people stare." She said looking down and I walked up closer to her.

"Can I see?" I said reaching out and pushing her hair slowly behind her ear. She blushed but didn't stop me. The right side of her face was badly scared, pulling her eye down slightly and her lip out to the side. Somehow it did nothing to diminish her beauty. I pulled her hair back further and noticed that at her temple, running parallel to one of the worst scars there was a tattoo of some kind of delicate pattern that weaved back into her hair line.

"Emily, your tattoo…it's gorgeous."

"That's all you see?" she smiled at me, her eyes twinkling.

"It's the most important thing I see" I stepped back from her, letting her hair fall back into place. "You're beautiful."

"No, I'm not, I was…but thank you, it's nice to hear anyway."

"No you are! You don't see it do you? You…you are so beautiful and your scars, they just show how much you love Sam." I said not expecting the reaction I got.

Emily threw herself into my arms and began to sob, her body shaking as the tears poured out of her. She cried and I held on to her, rubbing her back and her hair, wishing I could understand how she felt, but also selfishly glad that I didn't.

"Sorry" she sniffed against my, standing up but not looking at me.

"Why?"

"I just…no one looks at me or talks about it. It gets lonely."

"They're just worried about upsetting you." I smiled making her laugh. We laughed at the ridiculousness of our lives a little while her tears still fell quietly, but without the pain from before.

"Oh God." She sat down.

"Here" I pulled the pony tail holder out of my hair and handed it to her.

"No, Bella…"

"You are beautiful" I said walking behind her and pulling her hair up into a loose ponytail. "You shouldn't be ashamed of it."

"Bella, you only see it that way because you know about the imprint."

"Maybe…who cares?"

She smiled and ran her hand over her cheek before nodding. "Ok…"

"I love the tattoo" I said when she looked up at me finally.

"Oh, that's my mark."

"What? It doesn't look like a birth mark."

"No Bella, didn't Jake tell you about being marked?"

"He's told me a lot of things; I'm starting to feel like I'm in some terrible tween sci-fi book." I laughed; more truth in that then I'd realized.

"This is" she touched her temple "when Sam told me we imprinted and what it all meant and then when he told me about mating…I already had a scar, the Wolf has to…mark you like, God it sounds so horrible when you say it out loud, but the Wolf has to claim you as it's mate, scaring you so everyone knows who you belong too..."

"Wow, like…property?"

"Kind of…And you know tattoos are really important to Quileute's…the guys have theirs…and in our legends tattoos come up a lot so I wanted…something else too…I chose to put it here, near where my scars were…so it'd be tied to him. I don't know, I guess since I didn't get to choose the scars or where they went …"

"It's just a scar, that's all the mating is?"

"I guess if you really basic about it …but its… it means a lot more, it's like getting married but more…it solidifies the imprint, makes it permanent."

"Oh…like…forever?"

"Yeah."

"His forever or my forever?"

"Both…if you die before him he'll never mate again…he may have feelings for someone else but never enough to mate."

"Oh." I was again overwhelmed with my role in all of this, imprinting and mating and forever and permanent and Edward running for fear of hurting me and Alice seeing flashes of my future, my brain throbbed with all of it. On Emily it was beautiful. When she smiled the scars disappeared and the tattoo accentuated her natural earthy beauty; but for me…forever…married…at 17…

I shook my head, this was too much, it was more then I could handle. Forever didn't exist and I wasn't that girl. I wasn't the girl who got married while I was in high school, or just out of high school…I wasn't the girl who believed in soul mates and true love. I loved Jake, I knew I did, and I couldn't deny the connection that we had but…it wasn't possible to be marked, mated like that…was it?

"Em can I ask you…about the eye thing?"

"What?"

"Umm like when Jake and I are together…sometimes his eyes…change…"

"How?" she scrunched up her face; not understanding.

"Doesn't Sam…don't his eyes flash, like, yellow?"

"No…" she said, eyes wide.

"Oh…"

"What is that? Yellow like…"

"A wolf…" is said quietly.

"Yip! Yip! Yip!" I heard outside.

"They're here" Emily smiled reaching back to pull out the ponytail.

"No, leave it in."

"You think?"

"Yeah, the guys, they get it…you can take it down later at the beach if you want, but…if it's important like you say it is you should show it."

"I should…I know it bothers Sam that I keep my hair down." She smiled and walked out to greet her men, more bounce in her step then before.

"Em!" Sam called as he walked into the house, pulling her into a hug, his smile so wide it could consume his face. He instinctually moved his hand to move her hair away and stopped, looking deeply into her eyes. "Your hair's back…"

"Bella's idea…" she blushed softly.

"I love it" he said, kissing the outline oh her tattoo making his way down to her mouth. The held each other so sweetly, the kiss wasn't even deep but their love was so sincere and open, it was as intimate as if we were watching them make love on the table. I looked away and found Jake looking at me again, his eyes ringed with yellow. I smiled, knowing that in some way that flash of color was about his love for me.

"Come on, enough with this, let's get out to the beach – the pale faces are going to be here in like 15 minutes, we have to dig that pit!" Paul broke the moment with his usual charm.

We all walked out together, the guys carrying shovels, blankets and massive amounts of food with them while Emily and I trailed behind, talking easily now that the tension had been broken. She left her hair pulled back and every time Sam looked over to her his smile was full of love. He may hate that he hurt her, but he loved seeing her show her mark to the world.

My mind wandered as we walked along the beach to the spot that Sam had scoped out for the fire. I watched Jake's back as he walked, the muscles along his spine strong and defined. I couldn't help but notice that despite them all being amazingly buff, he was by far the most sculpted…is that because of his place in the pack as well?

I wondered what it would be like to be mated to him, to have the rest of my life laid out for me. To be bonded to him forever… Emily skipped ahead of me to join Sam, not wanting to be far from him for even the time it took for us to walk down the beach. Was that because she loved him? Was that the imprint? The mating? Was there a difference? Making this permanent, that felt like it was taking away my ability to change my mind later, to change, choose. But how could that be if I was choosing now. I had chosen to be with Jake… I didn't regret it at all.

When we got to the designated spot the guys started digging hard while Em and I set up blankets and food. Kim joined us soon and hugged me. I was so glad to see her but I hated that there was something so important I couldn't tell her. Here I was struggling with mating and she didn't even know about the wolves!

We talked about school and laughed and avoided the topic of the boys or our shared fear the other night, just happy to be with friends. Slowly my school friends trickled in and anxiety seized me. I was the hostess I think. I was the one who was supposed to do the introductions and make everyone feel at home and just the thought made me start to hyperventilate and need to sit down.

But of course I shouldn't have worried, Jake was there, Jake was always there. He smiled and waved and shook Eric's hand to reintroduce himself. He laughed at all the right spots and pulled the right people together to make introductions, knowingly pairing Paul with Lauren. If anyone could handle her it would be him. I watched as he maneuvered the two groups together, making everyone feel welcome and comfortable. He really was a natural with people.

I smiled and went to join him, placing my hand on the small of his back to get his attention I felt the electric current run through me, surprising me with its intensity before I realized how long it had been since I'd touched him.

"Bells" he said turning and hugging me, placing a light kiss on my lips. I heard Mike Newton snort as I lifted up on my toes to kiss him back but ignored it, not caring about anything in the world when Jake was touching me.

Sam brought out a radio and turned up G-Love making everyone relax into the music. Soon everyone was laughing and bantering.

"Hey Man, I'm off" Embry said walking up to Jake and smacking him on the back.

"Sucks you have to work tonight" Quil said, winking at me.

"Yeah, well, boss man's orders" Embry laughed.

"He's running us too hard." Jake said under his breath.

"It's alright" Embry said without mirth.

"You all work together?" Jessica asked.

"Yeah…we work with Sam…" Quil answered.

"That's so cool, I work at my parent's shop, I'd so much rather work with my friends, at least then it's not too boring." Mike interjected.

"No, it's never boring" Quil laughed.

"There's nothing going on tonight, hasn't been for weeks, seriously we don't need to be out there around the clock anymore. You guys need a break." Jake said.

"Nah Man, it's alright, look, I'll see you later" Embry ran off towards Sam's house, undoubtedly just to keep up appearances instead of just running to the tree line. Jake sighed and shook his head.

"You don't like your boss much do you?" Mike asked unaware of the minefield he was walking into.

"What? No, Sam's…he's my brother man." Jake said sharply.

"Oh, sorry…just seemed like you were upset about your job."

"No…I just think…sometimes we could do things a little differently." I pulled him tighter to me, his arm already wrapped around me.

"Let's go swimming huh?" I looked up at him and saw his smile return quickly.

"Do I get to see that bikini again?" he smirked.

"Shut up you dog" I laughed hitting him in the chest making him laugh even harder, and like that the tension was broken and we were just Jake and Bells again.

We splashed into the water, enjoying the warm air and cool water. I was so glad it was still nice enough to be out on the beach, soon the weather would turn and I would be stuck in the rain and snow for months on end.

As it got later we dug into the feast Emily had prepared and Jake stayed connected with me, constantly touching me or holding my hand except for the few moments when he got up to get more food. His warmth calmed me, making it so much easier to laugh and banter. I felt like a better version of myself with him near me. I felt like I could smile and relax and not worry about all of the judgment and little things that usually kept me from talking and laughing with my friends.

We sat around the fire, darkness holding us tight, keeping the monsters at bay as Embry howled in the distance. I looked at Jake who was sitting next to me, his arm wrapped loosely around my waist. I expected him to bolt at the sound but he just smiled.

"What?" I whispered.

"He's bored" Jake chuckled "Nothing's out there and he'd rather be here with us."

"Yeah, me too." I laughed.

"Hey" Kim called out "Let's do stories! You know like at the Tribe meetings?"

"That would be so cool!" Ben said, excited to hear some of the Quileute stories. Angela smiled at him, leaning her body against his, increasing the contact they'd had all evening.

"I don't know" Sam said reluctantly.

"No come on, that'd be great." Quil smiled. The fire light was having a strange effect on all of us, making us giddy like children up past their bed time. It was a good night for campfire stories.

"Yeah, I love campfire stories." Mike said from the other side of the fire.

"Alright we can, how about Thunderbird?" Sam asked looking at the group, pausing as Jacob nodded.

"Excellent!" Jared called. Kim was sitting between his legs in the sand, resting her back against him, content with their contact. He had one arms behind them, propping him up and one wrapped around her. They were relaxed and in love. I wondered if they would imprint…they were so good together and I'd love to have Kim in on the secret…

He leaned forward, the blaze of the fire making his face appear older. The sky hugged in tight, creating the illusion that there was nothing but our fire in the world and the sound of the waves made Sam's voice reverberate against the night.

"Long ago there was a sad time in the earth of the Quillayute. For days and days, a violent storm blew. Rainfall and hail then sleet and snowfall descended upon the earth. The large hailstones killed many natives. The Quillayute were forced from their sea-coast villages to the great prairie, which comprised the peak part of their land."

Sam's voice took on the cadence of someone singing a song, telling a story they had heard over and over again. His pronunciation of Quileute words changing slightly as he took on the slight accent of the older tribe members.

"In that location the tribe became lean and weak from famish. The hailstones destroyed the ferns, the camas, and the berries. The rivers covered by ice and the tribe could not fish. Violent storms swayed the sea therefore the fishermen could not go out in their canoes for deep-sea fishing. Before long, the tribe consumed all the grass and roots on the prairie for food; at that place no food was left. As children perished without nutrient, the strongest and most courageous of their fathers could do nothing. They called upon the Great Spirit for help, but no help came.

Finally the Great Chief of the **Quillayute**met with his tribe. He was old and wise. "Take comfort, my tribe," the Chief said. "We will call again upon the Great Spirit for help. If no help comes, then we will know it is His will that we die. If it is not His will that we live, then we will die bravely, as brave Quillayute have always died. Let us talk with the Great Spirit."

Sam's figure appeared to grow larger before us as he sat up straighter, taking on the mantle of the Great Chief. I could see the power of his leadership and could hear the cries of the mother's asking him to save their children. Emily sat next to him, looking at him with pride, her hair still pulled back making her face gruesomely beautiful.

"The weak and hungry tribe sat in silence while the Chief spoke with the Great Spirit, who had looked kindly upon the Quillayute for hundreds of years."

"When his prayer had finished, the Chief turned again to his tribe. "Now we will wait for the will of the One who is wise and all-powerful.""

The listeners were transfixed, holding their breath as they awaited the outcome of Sam's story. We knew that the people survived, they were sitting here with us, but something about the tone of the story impressed their desperation on us heavily, making us tense, waiting with them for the Great Spirit to save the people.

"The tribe waited. No one spoke. There was nothing but silence and darkness. All of a sudden, came a great noise, and flashes of lightning cut the darkness. A deep whirring sound, like colossus wings flapping, came from the place of the setting sun. All of the natives gazed toward the sky above the sea as an immense, bird-shaped beast flew towards them."

Murmurs spread around the camp fire, even the pack member who must have grown up hearing this story, knowing it as well as Sam were lost in their vision of the massive bird.

Sam's voice rose louder, his arms lifting to impress upon us the meaning of his words: "This bird was greater than any they had ever seen. Its wings, from tip to tip, were twice as long as a war canoe. It had an immense, curved beak, and its eyes radiated like fire. The tribe saw that its large claws held a living, giant whale."

I snuggled closer to Jake, looking at his face to see that he was far away, reliving some past life memory as his eyes twinkles softly in the firelight…was that the reflection of the fire or the color of his eyes?

"In silence, they observed while Thunderbird - for so the bird was called by everyone -cautiously lowered the whale to the earth before them. The thunderbird flew high in the sky and returned to the thunder and lightning it had come from. Perhaps it flew back to its perch in the hunting grounds of the Great Spirit.

Thunderbird and Whale kept the Quillayute from dying. The tribe acknowledged that the Great Spirit had answered their prayers. The tribe shall never forget that gift from Thunderbird, never forget that it ended long days of hunger and death. For on the prairie near their village are large, round stones that the grandfathers say are the hardened hailstones of that violent storm long since passed."

We sat still for a while lost in our imaginations until Sam smiled, becoming smaller and younger before our eyes.

"That one's my favorite" Emily said smiling at him "most of them are so scary."

"Really? Like what?" Lauren said eagerly. "I think we need a good scary story!"

"You just want an excuse to jump into my lap" Paul laughed and the rest of us joined in; he certainly had her pegged.

"Tell about the 'a'latkil'! " Kim called out.

"That one's really confusing" Quil whined. "How about Q'waeti?"

"No, nothing happens in that one! How about the Kwoli and the Monsters in the Woods?" Kim asked and I felt Jake tense beside me.

"What's that one about?" Ben asked excited.

"Oh it's about how the Quileute's descended from Wolves and had this big battle with their enemies!" Kim confessed excitedly making Jared pull her against him tightly, a worried look on his face.

"Yeah! That sounds awesome!" Ben said, Eric nodding enthusiastically.

"Um…" Sam lowered his head, "I'm not sure…"

"Come on Sam!" Kim encouraged innocently.

"Then I'll tell the one about camping with my Uncle Smitty, that one's REALLY scary!" Mike laughed making Jessica giggle a little too loudly.

"Ok…Umm well I guess it would be ok…"

"Awesome!" Eric called

"It happened long ago that Q'waeti' journeyed all over the land setting the people aright and instructing the people that would come in the future how they should act…"

Jake tensed beside me, getting more and more agitated as Sam spoke, I looked over to him and could see his eyes were clearly yellow. His face was hard and stern and he looked so much older then usual, so much like his farther.

"One day Q'waeti' came upon the Quileute land…"

"Stop" Jake said quietly, but every person there looked at him immediately, the power of his voice so complete he might as well have been screaming. I put a hand on his leg, unsure of what he was going to do.

"Sampson, you are not an elder." He held Sam's gaze, the tension palpable, until Sam lowered his eyes to the sand and nodded without a word.

"What the fuck man?" Paul said before looking over at Jake. When Jake met his gaze Paul pulled back dropping his eyes to the sand.

"Jake" I whispered, bringing a hand up to his face, pulling him to look at me. "Jake, come on, he stopped…"

He looked at me from far away, but the connection we held flowed through my hand reaching out to him. "Come on, your brothers meant no harm" I whispered, pulling him back to the now. He smiled down at me, not his usual carefree smile, but one full of the knowledge of ancient and everlasting love.

"Thank you Bella" he kissed me lightly on the lips before turning back to the group, his eyes fading back to brown. "Mike, tell us yours…" he smiled making it clear that that was the end of the stories about Quileute Legends


	12. Chapter 12

"Bella!" we heard Charlie call from downstairs. I was usually better about keeping my eye on the time and making sure we were downstairs when he got home. Jake had taken to picking me up from school a few days a week and we would hike or do homework or watch TV, but invariably we ended up in some state of undress which my father did not need to see.

"Bella! You guys upstairs?"

Jake's bike was outside and I couldn't just pretend that he wasn't here or tell him to jump out the window. Jake looked at me with hooded yellow eyes, still very much focused on our extracurricular activity. "Jake" I hissed trying to scoot away from him "Come on, Charlie's here!"

"Bells! Are you two up there?" Charlie called again, impossible to ignore any longer.

"Yeah Dad, um, be down in a sec!" I blushed as I hopped up and pulled my jeans back on. Jake was still safely in his pants and quickly pulled his shirt over his head.

"Homework?" he smirked, his eyes fading to a deep chocolate brown. I wasn't sure which worried me more, how used to his eyes changing I had gotten or how easily he seemed to shift between the two parts of himself.

"You suck at Trig" I smiled.

"Alright, I think I have that book" he opened his bag and took out his notebook and text book, opening them on the floor and lying down with them just as my father opened my door.

"Dad!" I yelled, shocked he would barge in but glad I had all my clothes on.

"Hey, I told you two downstairs when I'm not home." Charlie had decided to be parental all of a sudden. Jake had either been here, I had been down in La Push or we had been on the phone every day for the three weeks since the bonfire and Charlie hadn't only been ok with it, he seemed to be encouraging it.

"Hey Charlie!" Jake said easily "I couldn't focus, sorry, we came up here so we could put some music on. Hey, do you know how to figure out the cosign if the tangent is..."

"Ok...Ok Jake, fine, just...leave the door open ok?"

"Alright Dad" I smiled, amazed at how easily dealing with people came to Jake.

"You staying for dinner?" Charlie kicked Jake in the side.

"Can I?"

"No."

"Dad!"

"Please, I'm kidding, he practically lives here, of course you can stay. You cooking Bells or should I order pizza?"

"I think pizza tonight" I smiled.

"Ok...leave this door open" Charlie raised an eyebrow at me before going back downstairs.

I went over and sat on Jake's back and rubbed his shoulders. He crossed his arms over his book and laid his head down sighing. I rubbed his shoulders and neck, working down his back, feeling his muscles melt under my hands. He purred and rolled his head around, letting me relax him with my touch.

The past few weeks with Jake had been amazing. I felt like I was flying whenever I was with him. We spent time at the beach until the weather turned, making the beach another place to walk and hang out but now too cold for swimming. Whenever we were together we touched, his skin against mine was my natural state. The smell of him made my body reach out for him, needing contact. The electricity of our connection didn't seem to be diminishing at all either.

Despite all of this he was being extremely understanding about the mating issue. I just wasn't ready and he said he wasn't either but I didn't quite believe him on that. I knew that some part of him was ready, ready for me, ready to be Alpha and I was what was holding him but he never made me feel that way. When I pulled back from the sex issue, he had dropped all conversation about mating. Even though the two didn't necessarily go together, I got the impression that it would be hard to have one without the other.

The reality of it was that he was older then I was. He may be only 17 and my 18th birthday was in 4 days but he was more settled, more comfortable with himself. Jake knew who he was and even though he wasn't Alpha yet, he knew he would be someday and with that came a confidence that I lacked. I still hadn't decided if I was going to apply to colleges or not. My mother wanted me to move down to Florida when school finished and I knew Charlie was just finally getting comfortable with me being here. I wasn't ready to decide that I was going to live in Forks...or La Push forever.

But when I looked at him, when I allowed myself to enjoy these moments, when I could feel his body against mine, we were so comfortable, so happy. It was hard to believe that there was anything out there that I needed when I had him right here. People date and move away from home to try and find happiness and here I was with happiness sighing as I rubbed his tired shoulders.

"You're going to put me to sleep" he sighed, relaxing deeper into the floor.

"That's ok, you can sleep, I'll wake you for dinner."

"No" he rolled over beneath me, positioning me so that I was straddling him in just the right spot.

"I don't want to sleep when I can spend time with you."

I continued rubbing him, how caressing his shoulders and arms as well as his firm pecs.

"I'm gonna have to go again for a while, Bells."

"Oh...why?" I tried to keep from sounding upset, but I was.

"The elders still can't figure out the eye thing...they want me to go like see what I can find out..."

"Are you going on a vision quest? To find your totem animal?" I laughed

"I think I know my animal" he smiled sweetly, that ring of yellow back, laughing along with him.

"That's good though right?" I said my hands flat against his stomach, his arms stretched up above his head.

"Yeah, I think...I mean, I'm curious but it doesn't seem like that big of a deal and...I don't know, the more comfortable I get with it the harder it is to deal with Sam."

"What do you mean?" I traced the outline of his abdominal muscles as we talked, feeling each indentation.

"It's just like, every time he tells me to do something I just can't stand it."

"Because you're a prick?"

"No...because I'm supposed to be in charge." he said suddenly serious, looking away from me.

"But you can't be because of me..."

"No Bells, that's not...fuck you know that's not what I mean."

"Yeah, but it's true. I mean, if we were mated you'd be Alpha by now."

"I guess so..."

"And you want to be Alpha."

"I didn't, but lately...it's hard not...yeah, I guess I do." he sighed with the weight of that realization.

"And you want to be mated" I whispered looking down at my hands against his stomach. I was so small compared to him, so insignificant. What could I possibly bring as his mate?

"Bella, hey...look at me... I love you ok? It's alright. I'm not trying to make you feel bad or like you have to do anything ok?"

"I know Jake, but it's true, that's the reality, the reality is you want something, you're ready for something that I'm just still not sure about."

"Not sure about me?" he asked, his voice colder.

"No, you idiot" I said reaching out and putting my hand on his face, he leaned into my palm "you feel that? I know I do...I know you're what I want. I know you're what I want forever, I just don't know if I want it yet..."

"Bella, as long as you want me around, as long as you want a life with me I will wait forever ok? We don't ever have to do the whole mating thing if you don't want to so long as you're here with me. I love you."

"I love you too" I leaned down to kiss him and felt his hands on the small of my back, pulling me closer against him. We kissed sweetly, his lips warm and soft against mine. I snuck my tongue into his mouth, surprising him and making his grip on me tighten and his hips buck against me.

"You have to stay calm" I whispered into his mouth. "Charlie's right downstairs..." I moved my lips to his neck, pulling his skin into my mouth, tasting his familiar salty flavor as the scent of his desire swelled. I was getting so used to so many strange things since being with Jake...I was in love with a werewolf with yellow eyes whose skin gave off a scent when he wanted me. I was in love, completely in love with him.

I gripped his shoulders and ground myself solidly against him as I nipped at his earlobe.

"If you expect me to be quiet you really shouldn't use those teeth" he growled quietly as I rolled against his growing erection. I sighed against his skin, letting my chest rub against him for a moment longer before standing up and pulling my jeans back down into place.

He glared at me from the floor, his erection pulsing against his jeans. "You are a tease..."

"Hmmm" I smiled as I backed away from him slowly.

He sat up, his eyes trained on me with intensity. The dangerous moment I had created was suddenly shattered by the sound of my phone ringing on my desk.

Picking it up I smiled at him "Hello?"

"Bella, hello."

"Edward!" I cried it had been weeks since I'd heard from him, but Alice kept assuring me that I shouldn't worry.

"Cullen?" Jake said from his place on the floor.

I smiled and nodded, not noticing the blackness behind Jake's smile.

"It's me! Are you around? I just got home and I thought if you weren't otherwise occupied…"

"Oh, well, uh Jake's here, but tomorrow..."

"Ok, how about if I pick you up in the morning, take you to school? That way we can catch up some."

"That'd be great, oh I'm so glad you're home, I've really missed you!" I heard Jake growl as he stood up and started shoving his books into his bag.

"Well, that's the plan then, plus it's Friday, maybe we can do something after school..."

"Ok, um...let's go to Port Angeles, there's a movie out I've been dying to see."

"Love spelled backwards spells Love?"

"No! You're so emo."

"Indeed"

"There's that new Zombie movie." Jake and Edward broke out into laughter at the same time.

"Are you inviting your Vampire friend to a zombie movie?" Jake laughed as Edward spit out "You do know I don't eat BRAINS right?"

"You know, you two should really figure out how to be in the same room, it'd be a riot, like a comedy duo from hell." I smiled loving how similar and different they were.

"Fuck You/Shut Up" they said making, me shake my head and laugh again.

"Alright Edward, I'll see you in the morning."

"Ok, have a good night."

"Thanks, you too" I smiled and hung up.

I looked over at Jake who was sitting on my bed now, looking out my window.

"So you have a date with Cullen?"

"No Jake, he's my friend."

"You're glad to see him though, and glad to hang out with someone who doesn't make you seem backed into a corner."

"What? You don't…"

"But what I am does…I know you feel it hanging over us. I wish…" he looked at me earnestly "I wish I could just be a normal boy for you. I wish I could just be your boyfriend and take you out to the movies and make out in the back of my car without you always having to think about the rest of it."

I sat next to him and took his hand "I don't. I don't want anything else Jake, wolf…Alpha…zombies…whatever, all I want is you Ok? Edward's not competition."

"You still wear that necklace though…"

"What?"

"Bella, I'm not an idiot, I know you wear it when I'm not around. I appreciate you taking it of when you're with me but…seriously…it's kind of insulting."

"It's just like a good luck charm."

"No, it's him branding you, staking a claim on you."

"Kind of like you want to do?"

"What? Is that what you think I want?"

"You do don't you? You want me to have your mark right?"

"That's different"

"How, that seems a lot more territorial and possessive then Edward giving me some necklace to keep me safe."

"Bella that's like asking you to marry me, or wear a ring or change your name, that's just…declaring us together, that crest, that has a lot of history and the Cullens they're Ok I guess, but having you as some kind of claimed human is disgusting."

"If anything it means less, you marking me is forever, it can never change, we can't ever change…"

"So, what would you want to change? You think you'll want someone else some day?"

"No…"

"But it bothers you doesn't it, that it's permanent"

"Well yeah, I mean, God Jake I'm only 17."

"So am I!" he stood up, his voice raising.

"I thought you said you didn't care, that you'd wait."

"I will, but Fuck, do you, are you saying you're worried you'll change your mind? What, do you wanna like play the field and see what else is out there?" he turned away from me, looking out into the woods again.

"No! God Jake, how did we get into this, I just, Edward's my friend, I missed him, he's been gone for almost a month, what's wrong with that?"

"Nothing, that's…, fine…"

"Why are you doing this? I feel like you're like giving me some kind of ultimatum; him or you!"

"There's a line Bella, there's a line of how much I can handle ok? I know you and the creepy little one have become friends and I don't say anything when I see you and you smell like them, but…you and Edward…I don't like it." He glared at me and began pacing my room.

"You're jealous." I was exacerbated with him, a jealous teenage boyfriend was bad enough, the fact that he was an irrational werewolf didn't help.

"Yeah, I guess I am, and I'm worried, I don't understand why you insist on risking your life with them." He stopped walking and looked at me again.

"They won't hurt me!" I ran my hands through my hair, how do I get through to him?!?

"They probably won't, but being around them…it's like walking through a mine field."

"Unlike being with you?"

"I can keep you safe" he leaned down looking me deeply into the eyes.

"You aren't with me every second Jake, and you aren't my whole life, you can't be. I get to have friends."

"Fine, whatever Bella, I…do whatever you want…"

"Don't be like this." I begged, hating to fight with him. I felt like I was dying when he looked at me coldly. I stood up and walked over to him, putting my hands on his chest hoping to reach through his fear.

"Kids! Pizza's here!" Charlie called up as the doorbell rang. Jake kissed me on the head quickly before taking my hand.

"Let's talk later ok?"

"When do you have to leave?"

"Saturday…I don't know how long I'll be gone…"

"Oh." I looked down, trying to hide my disappointment that he was going.

"I…they want me to say out there until I figure it out."

"Jake! That could be…"

"A really long time…I know…" he sighed, rubbing my hand with his thumb.

"You…can you visit me?"

"No"

"As Pup?"

"No…but I don't think I'll stay that long…I don't, I don't feel like it really matters, I'll figure it out eventually and, well they can't force me to do anything, so I'll go for a little while and see what happens."

"Ok", I said looking up at the worry in his eyes. "I'll be here when you get home."

He kissed me softly before pulling me behind him downstairs.

Charlie had ordered two large pizzas. Once meat lovers for Jake and a Hawaiian for Charlie and I to share. My father may not know what Jake was but he certainly knew all about his appetite. We got drinks and settled down around the table, my foot resting on top of Jake's large work boot as we ate.

"So you two, I know you go hiking a lot in the afternoons but I want you to stay out of the woods for a while Ok?"

"Sure Dad…what's going on?"

"There was another animal attack today, this time closer to home." He sighed heavily. I could feel Jake tense up as my father spoke, his mind working in overdrive.

"Where?" he asked forcefully.

"Over at the docks, one of the regulars over there was going out alone and was attacked right in his boat…we found it drifting down river with him in it. They must have, I don't know surprised him and then jumped into the river."

"You're sure it's animals?" I asked

"Pretty sure…don't know what else could cause that kind of damage."

"Wow…" I shook my head as Jake stood up quickly.

"Bella, can I use your phone quick?"

"Yeah, here" I said fishing it out of my back pocket. He took it from my hand and walked outside without saying a word.

"What's with him?" Charlie asked.

"The animal attacks really upset him." I said truthfully.

"Yeah…but Bella, I'm serious, no more walks in the woods till we get this under control, there have been more reports of bear sightings in the same areas as these attacks…"

"You don't really think its Bear do you Dad?"

"I…I don't know what else could cause this kind of injury Bells, it's really…almost impossible…and the wolves have been really loud again, it's like the whole forest is going insane."

"Yeah…" I said looking away allowing the silence to fill in the spaces between my father and me. I just wished I could tell him everything.

Jake walked back in quickly, concern on his face and his jaw hard. "Charlie thanks for Pizza, but I have to go, Bells…" he leaned down and kissed my head "I gotta run ok?"

"Oh…Ok, I'll walk you out." I said standing up quickly as he turned to leave. "Jake what is it?" I asked when I closed the front door behind me.

"Leaches, all over the place…I can't fucking believe Sam didn't call me!" his eyes were yellow and his voice was raising, I could see him shaking with the need to phase.

"Come on, put your bike behind the garage, Charlie won't see it and that way you can run."

"Thanks Bells" he said, putting a finger under my chin to tilt my head back for a kiss. "I love you."

"Be careful Pup" I whispered.

"Always am" he smiled before pushing the bike back behind the house. I sighed as he disappeared into the night, knowing I would soon hear his howl goodbye.

I stood inside listening until I heard him and smiled into the night. Wrapping my arms around me I shivered despite the warm evening air, I hated that he had to go fight while I was left behind, helpless.

"Bells…" Charlie said from the doorway. "Phone's for you, I'm gonna turn in ok? Don't stay up too late."

"Ok Dad thanks."

Inside I picked up the phone he had left sitting on the counter and leaned against the wall. "Yeah?" I said quietly.

"Bella, are you Ok?" Alice said quickly.

"What? Yeah, Alice? What's the matter?"

"Just, for a second there, I could see you, standing outside in the night, with your arms wrapped around yourself it was so vivid, like I was there!"

"That's where I just was." I whispered, frightened that she could see me.

"Was Jake there?"

"He'd just left."

"Oh…"

"Can you still see me?"

"No…there's…nothing…hold on…" she was quiet for a moment as she searched the visions in her mind. "I see Edward…Ok, Bella, don't freak out when you go to your room Ok? Edward's there waiting for you, he saw my vision and was worried about you."

"He's here?!"

"Yeah, be nice."

"I…why's he here?"

"He was worried about you." She said again, as if speaking to a child. "You're…you're still flickering, but…there's a field…by a stream…and there's fire….and your blood…it sings to him…"

"Alice?"

"You're gone…that's all I saw."

"Why am I there? What does that mean?"

"I don't know Bella, that's all I could see, you're there and then you're not."

"Like I'm…dead?"

"Or one of the wolves interfered, I can't _see"_ she said with frustration.

"Ok Alice, thanks for calling me."

"Bella, just…be careful ok?"

"I am, I promise, and if Edward's here I'm fine right?"

"Yeah…" she said softly. "Good night Bella."

"Good night hon." I hung up the phone and quickly cleaned up the dinner mess Charlie had forgotten about before going to bed himself. Upstairs I could hear the shower and knew he was getting ready for bed. I walked into my room and turned on the light.

I shrank bank from the figure in my room. Even though I'd known he would be there it still shocked me. His pale skin and golden eyes looking up at me from his perch in my rocking chair, sitting in front of the window, protecting me from monsters in the night. I smiled, remembering the Angel from my childhood imagination who used to sit in that very spot.

"Bella…" he said, smoothly standing up with an inhuman fluidity and coming to pull me into his arms. Instinct screamed at me to pull away, not to let him touch me, but this was Edward, I knew he would never hurt me. I allowed him to pull me against his thin frame and wrap his arms around me. I put my arms loosely around him, not pulling him closer but not pushing him away. I could feel him smile above me as he rested his cheek on my hair.

"You need to Lysol your room" he chuckled softly.

"Why's that?" I smiled up at him, happy to hear his voice again.

"Everything smells like wet dog." His crooked smile taunted me.

"Shut up Edward" I pushed him away from me, making him laugh harder.

He stepped back and sat on the edge of the rocking chair. "Did Alice call you?"

"Yes, she said she saw me…"

"Yeah, I saw it in her mind and came over…if you're with Jake, if you're his mate she shouldn't be able to see you…"

"I'm not" I said quietly.

"What?"

"I'm not his mate." I looked at the floor, unsure how he would take that admission.

"Oh…but you two imprinted…"

"Yeah…"

"But you haven't…" he was looking uncomfortably at the same spot on the floor I was inspecting.

"No…"

"Ok…good…" he smiled that crooked smile at the ground before flashing his eyes up to me. "That means I still have a chance."

"Edward…"

"No…its good…don't worry, I'm just…glad you aren't you know, married yet."

"But I will be" I said, knowing that it was completely true; someday I would be with Jake.

"But right now you're not, which gives me time and I have loads of time."

The shower turned off and I heard my father walking down the hall to his room. I sighed and waited until his door closed before turning on Edward.

"I don't know what you got in your head while you were gone, but Edward nothing's changed."

"I know."

"I'm with Jake."

"I know."

"There's no us beyond friendship."

"And yet" he stood up and walked closer to me "Alice has visions of you with golden eyes…"

I gasped, pulling away from him, feeling the implicit threat behind his words.

"She never told you that did she?"

"No…" I whispered.

"I can see it, I can see what she sees and someday…you'll be one of us…and when that happens Bella, I'll be here, waiting in the wings, waiting for you to realize that I'm what you want, what you need."

"Edward you should go." I said, not looking up at him.

"Bella…"

"You should go…"

"Ok, I'll…I'll be outside though, if you need me or if anything comes by, I'll be outside, just call out your window and I'll be right here."

"Goodnight Edward" I said before he turned and jumped out the window. I walked over and closed it behind him, not hearing the howl in the distance from behind the glass.

* * *

**Hmmm so what is Alice seeing? What's going to happen? And who's in the woods?**

**Dum Dum Dum - tell me what you think!  
**


	13. Chapter 13

I woke up nervous, Edward had stayed outside I was sure. Some part of me was grateful for the vigilant protections; another part of me was terrified of him. I didn't know how to process his words from last night. I had tried to call Jake a number of times but no answer, not having thumbs made it hard for him to dial. I just wished he was checking in somehow. Maybe Edward being out in the woods was keeping him away…

I quickly called Sam's house and got a frantic Emily.

"Bella, oh I'm so glad you called, have you talked to Jake?"

"Not since he left last night."

"Do you know what happened?" I asked not sure where Jake had gone after leaving here.

"No, but I know Jake tore him a new one and Sam…wasn't happy… After the call Sam just took off and hasn't been home since."

"Crap." I said knowing that Jake yelling at Sam wouldn't have made anything better for the Alpha situation.

"Have you talked to the others?"

"No, Bella, they're all gone. I don't know what's going on. Sam kept insisting it was just a few vampires and they'd get them eventually. He told me it wasn't something they needed to get too worked up about since it wasn't on Reservation land."

"But it's in Forks…" I said, unsure of why that would make a difference.

"Yes, I guess they are, that explains why Jake would worry more, with you being out there…"

"I guess so, but aren't they supposed to help everyone?" I asked, packing my bag as we talked.

"I…that's not their job, their job is to protect Quileute land and our people. I think they help the Cullens keep Forks safe when they can but…"

"The Cullens?"

"Yeah, part of them being here, they promised to help keep the area safe from other vampires who don't…share their way of life." Emily said, clearly uncomfortable with the conversation. Somehow she managed to know a little about everything but stay out of the line of fire, leaving it all to Sam to handle. It struck me that that wasn't what Jake would need. For me to be his mate, he'd need more from me, a strength I didn't know if I had.

I looked out the front window and saw Edward standing next to his car. "Em, I have to go…school."

"Right, I understand. I'll call you if I hear from Sam. Will you…will you let me know if you hear from Jake?" she was nervous; despite her pride and faith in her wolves she was worried.

"I will, I'm sure they're fine." I said as much to convince myself as her.

"I know they are… Bye."

"Bye."

I hung up the phone and looked out at Edward again. I so didn't want to deal with him or even think about the things he had said last night. Me…a vampire…that just wasn't possible. From what Alice told me someone would have to bite me, infecting me with their venom. And as much as I trusted Edward I had a hard time believing that without being given permission he wouldn't do such a thing himself.

I sighed before reaching for a breakfast bar and grabbed my backpack, stepping outside to face the inevitable. His stature was perfect, he was beautiful and I couldn't help but smile under his attention. I may not have known him long but he was the only person other then Jake I felt like I could just be myself with. He understood the chaos of my world in a way no one else did and something about him just put me at ease.

Maybe it was the easy way he talked to me, like an equal, like someone he could listen to forever. There was a quick wittedness about him that constantly kept my mind turning, looking to one up him; a game which someday would lead to trouble.

"Bella!" he said walking over to me, a smile on his face as if the conversation last night had never happened. I didn't respond, just stood still and stared at him, what could I possibly say? Was it possible that he had some kind of short term amnesia or some kind of vampire schizophrenia?

"Come on, let's get going" he smiled wider and then winked at me.

"Edward, what is going on? You're seriously giving me whiplash with your mood swings."

"Nothing, look, I'm sorry about last night…I shouldn't have said anything." He looked down, his smile fading from his face so quickly I could imagine it had never been there. For a moment his gray pallor struck me and I was seized by the thought that the man before me was in fact dead.

"No, you should have told me, I can't believe Alice didn't. What you shouldn't have done is come on to me." He looked up at me sheepishly.

"Bella, I apologize. You're right, it wasn't…appropriate."

"I'm with Jake. I'm tired of having to remind you of that" I sighed, wishing that he could just be my friend, for once, he just got back, I needed him to just be my friend.

"I know, but…that doesn't change the way I feel about you. You know that right? You missed me, and you want to spend time with me, there's something between us." I took a step closer to me, forcing me to take a step back.

"Because you're my friend."

"Ok, well, can we do that? Can we be friends?" he looked at me hopefully, shuffling his feet in an unusual display of human anxiety.

"I would like that." I smiled hesitantly at him unsure if he could handle that, but not willing to let him go, He gave me his crooked smile that made his golden eyes twinkle.

"Ok" he walked up to me and threw his arm around my shoulders. "Let's go."

"Edward…" I took a step sideways and out from his hold on me.

"What? I can't touch you now?" his voice was playful, but it resonated with pain.

"No, you can it's just…Edward, I think it means something different to you then it does to me."

He sighed and shook his head before walking over to his car and opening the passenger door for me. I smiled, giving him that small success, hoping that I didn't encourage him too much. Chivalry was something I was never able to deny him though, for him it was a way to show me he cared and was just the way you were supposed to behave.

"So how was Alaska?" I asked as he pulled out of my driveway and headed towards Forks High. His silver Volvo easily hitting the speed limit and beyond quickly.

"It was Ok, a little lonely but that was good, it gave me a lot of time to think."

"Are you going to tell me why you left?" I asked quietly.

"I just…needed to clear my head some, I'm ok now though" he smiled at me again.

"What happened that day in your car…I'm sorry about that."

"You're sorry?" he snorted his laughter "What do you have to be sorry for? It's my fault, I…lost control momentarily, I'm just so grateful that you weren't hurt."

"I should no better, I don't want to make being with me any harder for you."

"I would bear anything, just to be near you Bella" he said not looking at me.

"So, you spent most of your time out in the wild? Did you see a Yeti?"

"No" he laughed "I'll let you know if I do though. I was on my own most of the time but we have some family up there that I stayed with when I wasn't out in the woods..."

"Really?" I asked turning to him. "like vampire family?"

"Some, and their humans." He said speeding along the wet roads.

"What do you mean?" I asked nervous for the answer.

"Well Tonya, Kate and Irina are our cousins kind of, they are mostly vegetarians too but they have…humans that stay with them." He didn't look at me and his concentration on the road increased, even though I knew he didn't even need to watch where he was going.

"Like Pets?" I asked, bringing my hand to my necklace.

"No…like…like friends or relationships, they have humans they care about."

"Who feed them?" I said, suddenly realizing why it was that this crest made Jake so jealous.

"They do, but that's not all it is" he said a little too quickly.

"Is that what you…is that what you want from me?" I asked, pushing myself against my door.

"No, Bella, we don't feed off humans, even willing humans, the temptation would be too much." He sighed and looked at me. "I would never be able to trust I wouldn't accidentally infect you or…kill you."

"You said I'd be one of you eventually though, what's to keep you from trying to infect me?" I asked, the question falling out of my mouth before I could stop myself.

"You say you want to be my friend. I'm trying to explain to you that I don't want to hurt you! Don't you, don't you get how much I care about you. It kills me, being near you and not being able to…be with you. I would give anything to be human, maybe then you'd try to see me."

"But you want me to be a vampire." I said accusingly.

"It would be…easier if you were. I can hardly trust myself in this car with you…"

"Because of how I smell?"

"Yes, but all I want it so get closer to you." He looked over at me, his eyes intense "you are something special. I don't know what it is about you, but you make me feel human again, you make me want to be better, a part of this world instead of just living adjacent to it."

"So you want me to be a vampire so you can feel more human?"

"Bella, I…I love you, I know you don't feel that way about me but…that's how I feel and It sounds ridiculous when you say it but yes, some of that is that you make me feel…alive again" he smiled, turning back to his driving. "But you have to know, I would never hurt you, I would never do anything you didn't want. I don't'…I don't want you to be afraid of me."

"This is impossible! How can I be your friend?" I ran a hand through my hair and leaned back against my seat.

"I don't know Bella, I'm sorry I'm not the right kind of monster for you, but I care about you, deeply and I will never let anything happen to you."

"Edward…let's just…turn the radio on or something Ok? I don't want to talk anymore."

"Ok" he reached out as I did and for a brief moment our hands touched, his cool skin burning against mine. I pulled back and looked over to him, wishing that there were two of me. He was my best friend, he was beautiful and kind and smart and I hated that I was hurting him, but he would never be Jake and nothing he did would ever change that Jake was who I loved.

We drove the rest of the way in comfortable silence. The rain fell around our car making me feel more and more alone.

The school day passed quickly, every one was excited that Edward was back and pumping me for information, as usual too intimidated by him to ask him directly. The story that he had been visiting family in Alaska was confirmed by the school and by me so no one had any reason to question it.

Despite the underlying tension though, having him back was a relief. My school day passed smoothly with him there, always around the corner when I turned to look for him; his sharp wit and uncanny insights keeping me laughing and in the moment instead of worrying too much about what he was and what I would be.

English was by far the most entertaining it had been in the weeks it had been since his departure. Mike Newton didn't waste any energy glaring at Edward when he walked in after me, making me laugh with his impression of Romeo finding out in hell that Juliet had been alive and now they were both damned for committing suicide. His humor was dark and fast and it was by far the most attractive thing about him.

He still made attempts to keep the limited physical contact we had had before, but I moved away from his efforts as best I could without hurting his feelings or drawing attention to us. At some point he would get the message and stop…I just had to believe that.

My classes without him were a trial though. Lauren was desperately trying to get Paul's number after sleeping with him the night of the bonfire. He never called her or got in touch, which knowing Paul wasn't a surprise, but as much as I didn't want her around my friends, I knew, that unless she and Paul imprinted, which wasn't likely, there was not a future there.

As much as I was sure it sucked to be in her position, better for her to get out of it now, instead of thinking there was something deeper there that would never happen. God forbid he actually DID imprint on her. I couldn't imagine spending the rest of my life with LAUREN in it.

At lunch Alice grabbed me out of the line and pulled me away from gossiping ears. Her face was intense with worry and I could see the lines that had been forged between her brows. Vampires may never change, but they certainly did wear their emotions on their hard facade.

"Bella, I'm so sorry, I didn't know he was going to say all of that." She confessed quickly. "I would have tried to stop him if I'd known. Are you Ok? Are you mad at me, please, please don't be mad at me?" She looked up and her lip quivered as if she would cry. If it were physically possible I imagine she would.

"Why didn't you tell me you saw me as a vampire?" I demanded, unable to hold back my hurt.

"Because I'm not sure that's what it is, I told you, I can't see it all clearly. I didn't want to worry you until I knew more." He said quickly, making my brain rush to keep up with her words.

"Edward felt perfectly comfortable using it as some kind of creepy come-on line."

"I know, but I know he's sorry too. And you two seem to be ok today. I don't see him changing his mind about not hurting you."

"Good, but does he consider changing me hurting me?"

"He would never! Bella, you don't know what he feels about that. There's part of him that would love for you to be one of us so that you could be together, he believes that's the natural way of things, but he would never take your soul from you."

"What?"

"That's…Bella, we are monsters, we do everything we can to deny that fact in our lives, but we are damned, we have no soul."

"That's just not true, I don't…I can't accept that."

"Well, it's what Edward believes and he would never do that to you."

I sighed, unaware that I had been that afraid that he would. "This friends with creatures that want to kill me thing is getting hard."

"Well" Alice looked at me and took my hand "you know that would stop if you chose."

"Chose what?"

"To get mated, or be one of us…" she looked away as she whispered the last part.

"I don't…I don't want to be one of you Alice."

"But until you're mated Edward's not going to stop trying and if you chose, if you decided to be with him and become one of us…well, there are those of us who don't believe as he does…I would do it myself if that's what you wanted.."

"Alice…" I backed away from her, afraid of my small friend for the first time.

She pulled me out into the hallway and closed the door to the cafeteria.

"I'm not going to do it unless you ask me too. It's time to grow up Bella, you flicker in and out of my visions but I don't think it's because what's going to happen is unsure but because you don't know what you want."

"I'm only 17!"

"For 3 more days. Seriously, I've been 16 for 79 years now and even _I_ manage to make a decision every once in a while." She was frustrated with me, and her grip on my hand was tightening.

"Alice, let go." I pulled away from her. "Sometimes I just wish you'd all go away, just let me go back to being a regular girl. Maybe I'd be happily dating Mike Newton by now."

"I doubt it Bella, you are different, you know you are, you can feel it, Edward can smell it; Jake…I know he can tell. I can't see it but I know it's there. You would never be just a regular girl, even if you'd never met us. You know, when like sees like it recognizes the fear. You are like us, we're all made of the same thing; you just have to embrace it. At least Edward and Jacob know what they are and deal with it." She shook her head. "I love you Bella, I'd love for you to be with Edward and be my sister, but not if that's not what you want, you only have one life."

"You don't."

"Yes, I do, it's just a lot longer then yours." She smiled as the bell rang for us to get to class. Her body flitted away me, leaving me alone in the hall as my friends swarmed around me on their way to the next moment of their lives. Somehow my life seemed to be standing still. How did all this happen? What did Alice mean that I was made of the same thing as them…?

I spent the rest of the day avoiding Alice and Edward, not because of them really, but because I didn't want to think about any of this anymore. I didn't need to make a decision; there was no choice to be made. I had chosen Jake. That wasn't going to change. Why was it so impossible for everyone to understand that I just wasn't ready? I felt like I was in a bad lifetime after school special where everyone pressures the girl to just have sex already. I couldn't help it that it still felt…wrong, even though I knew it was what I wanted someday.

I couldn't wait to get home and call Jake; I needed to talk to him. He was the only one in my life that made any sense anymore. I hope he's home but somehow I knew that he wouldn't be. I had been hearing distant howls all day, shivering with the knowledge that if Pup got hurt again, I wouldn't be home to help him. I needed to be home, to sort my head, calm my fears and hope to get in contact with Jake. I hated always waiting on him, but I knew he didn't do it on purpose. How was I going to tell Edward that I didn't want to do anything with him tonight?

After school I stood talking to Ben and Angela, waiting for Edward to make his way out from class we talked about the upcoming projects we had and how school was now officially in full gear. No more easing us into it. It was our senior year and we were going to have to bust ass to get out of here.

Angela was going to look at colleges with her parents next week and Ben had already put in his application for a ROTC scholarship to WashU. I on the other hand had a brochure from Miami U that my mother had sent me sitting in the bottom drawer of my desk next to a postcard I had found once with a picture of Vanderbilt. Both were impossibilities for me. I couldn't think past this weekend let alone next year. The idea of applying to college was almost as appalling as the idea of becoming a vampire.

He came up to me with a cloud over his head, his gloomy demeanor undeniable.

"Come on, I'll take you home." He said putting a hand on my elbow to lead me away.

"Alice told you…" I accused.

"In a manner of speaking." He glared at Ben making him shrink back slightly, the natural aversion to the supernatural predator Edward was kicking in.

"I'm sorry…"

"It's ok, let's just go."

I turned back to my human life "Bye Ange, see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, thanks for coming to help me with my Civics project, I'm a mess without you." She smiled, keeping an eye on Edward.

"No problem, I'll come over in the morning."

"Ok, bye."

We drove home quickly and quietly. His golden eyes pale like a candle flame dieing, he never looked directly at me. On some level I think he knew I had made my choice. That even though I'd said it to him again and again he knew that I was not could not be his. I felt the need to apologize, to try and heal the injury that my heart had created. But how could it be my fault? All I'd been was a friend to him, I'd never given him the impression it could be more then that…I thought.

When we got to my house I looked over at him, his eyes still on the outside world.

"Edward, I'm sorry." I reached out and touched his shoulder, making him turn his gaze on me.

"Don't be." He said flatly.

"I know I said we'd do something tonight but, I don't think that's a good idea right now."

"I know Bella…I'll never be enough…I can see that.

"I wish, I wish that wasn't the case Edward, someday, you'll find someone who's supposed to be with you."

"No…I don't think so, I don't think I'll ever see anyone but you." He looked down between us, the pain in his eyes wishing they could cry in search of relief.

"Can I…Will you be Ok if I hug you?"

"Yes." He sighed reaching out to me and pulling me against his hard body. No matter what I did feel for him, there was no denying that being in his arms just felt wrong. He buried his face into my hair and breathed me in before pulling away. "Go on inside" he sighed as I reached for the door.

As soon as I had opened it he reached across me and pulled it back shut.

"What? What is it?" I asked, more frightened by his speed then by whatever could be outside the car.

"Someone's here…"

"Who? Charlie's at work…is it Jake?" I said jumping out of the car before he realized what I was doing.

The next thing I knew I was grabbed from behind and clutched against a cold, hard body. A tall blonde half naked vampire was standing behind me. His feet were bare and dirty and his hair pulled back into a haphazard ponytail.

Edward was out of the car in a flash, facing off with the stranger. He was crouched low, his lithe body set to spring and for the first time I could see how truly dangerous he was. He looked down right…vampiric. He hissed at the man who kept me between us.

A red headed female stepped out from behind Edward's car laughing as she looked up at the blonde man.

"Victoria! Just in time as always." I could hear the sneer in his voice.

"Is this the little singer you were so excited by, James?" she asked, moving her head like a cat as she looked at me, her eyes blazing red. I gasped, having gotten used to the benevolent gold of the Cullen's eyes.

"Mmmm indeed."

"Good thing we followed your sent here last night brother." She looked at Edward whose eyes went wide with the realization that in coming to protect me he had led the danger straight to my home. "We would have never found such a treasure without you."

"She will be delicious, but this crest on her neck is a problem." James said into my hair, making me shiver with his cold breath.

"No!" I whispered, struggling under his strength.

"We could barter if you would be reasonable." James said to Edward, pulling me tighter to him, making it difficult for me to breathe.

"I have no interest in a transaction with you. That is mine, she wears my crest and you know the law." Edward roared, shocking me with his proclamation of ownership over me.

"The law is rarely enforced here. Italy is a long way away and well, she is something that I don't think I can live without." He bent against me and smelled along my neck, making me shudder with fear.

"Oh God…" I whispered looking at Edward.

"Besides…I would rather barter with you then fight."

"There will be no transaction" Edward said, his eyes flashing black.

"That's a shame…I would even be willing to offer you Victoria in exchange."

"What?!?" the red-head shrieked from beside Edward. "I am not yours to barter with."

"I made you, I'll do what I wish and this…" he said smelling me again, pulling me tight against his side with an iron grasp on my waist "this blood, it makes noise; oh it sings…I can barely hear with the tone that spins my head around. Ohhh, I hope I can resist killing you, what a mate you would make."

"James!" The red-head screamed, streaking across my yard and ripping his arm off from around me. I ran to Edward as soon as I was free of his grasp, he pushed me behind him but maintained his crouch. I watched as the red-head hit him and screamed a deafening roar, making me hope none of my neighbors were home.

He grabbed the woman and kissed her deeply before turning looking at me for the first time; his face was feral, resembling a lion more then a man. "I guess that answers this…I'll see you around." He smiled at me leeringly before looking back at Victoria, taking her hand and running off to the tree line.

Edward and I stood there, frozen for a moment until he was sure they were gone. "He isn't going to give up that easily." He whispered turning back to me. "Get in the car." He said with a tone that did not allow for discussion. As I buckled my belt, he started the car and his phone rang; Alice…


	14. Chapter 14

Jake…where ARE you? I thought as I fervidly texted him, knowing he wouldn't get it but hoping he might. I texted Sam and then Emily…thought about Kim but didn't want to worry her. I even called Jake's house but Billy wasn't home. I left a message on the machine that must have sounded like a crazy person was calling, but it was really hard to say, hey, there's a maniacal vampire hell bent on killing or turning me at my house. I'm going over to the house of the nice vampires you hate so I'll be safe but I'm really scared. Do you think you could bring your furry ass over?

I was starting to get hysterical, this was all too much. I listened as Edward spoke faster then I could understand to his sister, planning whatever was coming next. I was terrified and thankful that he had been there when they showed up. What would I have done if I hadn't been with him. The only thing that stopped James from throwing me over his shoulder and running off with me was this stupid necklace that I had resented so much less than an hour ago.

If being owned by Edward was what it took to keep me safe then that's what I would do. I didn't care what Jake thought, he couldn't be with me every second of the day and there were some things that he would have to accept, especially now. Where WAS he? I was fleeing for my life and he was nowhere to be found.

My phone buzzed in my hand, making me jump and recoil from it as if it was an evil vampire phone. I laughed at myself, knowing that my hysteria was starting to build and soon I would be manic myself if I couldn't get a hold on things. Flipping it open I saw the text from Emily: _No word from the boys – u ok?_

I looked at Edward and texted back quickly without thinking:

_yes with edward – need jake – try to find him?_

_Edward Cullen???_

_yes_

_u sure ur ok with him_

_yes – need jake now tho_

_Ok – i'll try_

I shut my phone and looked over at Edward who was also off the phone. His face was twisted with concern and pain.

"Edward?"

"Bella, I'm so sorry, this would have never happened if I hadn't…why couldn't I just leave you alone?!"

"Edward, stop, it could have happened anyway, I live here they may have found me eventually, look, if anything you saved me. What would I have done if you hadn't been with me this afternoon? Or if Charlie got home before me…Oh my God Edward! Charlie… We have to tell Charlie something, he he's in danger!"

"It's ok Bella, I already talked to Alice, Carlisle's going to come up with something to get Charlie to the hospital and you should call him and ask to stay over at Alice's tonight, I'm sure he'll let you, you can even say I'm away for the weekend. My mother will cover for us."

"Ok" I said holding my phone, unable to make the call.

"Don't worry, Rose and Emmett are going to go make sure the house is safe. They'll stay with him until this is over."

"Who are Rose and Emmett?"

"Emmett is my brother and Rose…she's a pain but she's a good one to have on your side in a fight."

"A fight!? No, there's not going to be a fight." I shook my head as if denying it could stop it from coming true.

"Yes Bella, there is…he was…you didn't see in his mind. He's not going to give up until you're his. He will find you, he won't just let this go. You're like an obsession for him now and there's nothing we can do to convince him to leave you alone. Trust me, I saw it. He's determined to have you, dead or as his mate but you won't be safe until he's destroyed."

"Oh my God…" I said, my breath speeding up, beginning to feel like I was going to faint or die from fear. I could hear my blood pounding in my ears and I knew that Edward could too. I tried to calm down, keep the temptation to a minimum for him. "What are we going to do?"

"We'll go to my house, Esme and Alice are already there getting some supplies so you and I can leave. We'll drive south and the others will track him. Hopefully we can keep just ahead of him until they find and kill that son of a bitch." I'd never heard Edward swear, it was a side of him I didn't know, but kind of liked. He was protective and frightening and…holding my hand…when had that happened?

"I can't just leave…I have to see Charlie."

"You can call him from the house ok, but we have to get going."

"Why is this happening!?" I cried hating that this is what my life was becoming.

"You heard him Bella, your blood sings to him, like it does to me, but…I care about you so…I would never give in to that, but he's not like us, he's a predator, an animal and all he wants is to have you to himself."

"What does that mean, that my blood sings?"

Edward sighed deeply as we rounded the bend and pulled into his driveway. "It's like…a Siren's song. You're blood, its so tempting, so amazing, it hypnotizes me…" he had a far away look in his eyes as he stopped the car and looked at me. "Bella I will not let anything happen to you ok? That's my purpose in life now, to keep you safe." He brought his other hand to the one that was already holding mine. "I promise you, you will be Ok, Charlie will be Ok."

"Ok…alright Edward…I…" I flung myself into his arms and wept, the weight of what was happening pushing me into his embrace. His body was hard, but I found comfort in the care he took to hold me softly. "Thank you, thank you so much…I…God…" He rubbed a cool hand on my back, soothing me as my crying slowed. I hiccupped into him, my fear swelling in my chest again.

"It's ok, it's ok Bella, I will take care of you, you never have to worry about being alone again, I'm here" he cooed as he kissed my hair lightly. I sighed shakily, allowing him to absorb my fear and make it his own, giving into the need to let someone else do the worrying even if for just a little while.

"Edward, thank you." I looked up at him through my teardrop lashes.

"Anything Bella, anything for you." He leaned in slowly, brining his lips down to meet mine. I pulled away slightly but his hold on me was tight. I knew it was wrong to let him kiss me when my heart belonged to Jake, but in this moment, I was so afraid and he was so…before he reached me Alice opened my door.

"Come on! Get inside! You aren't safe out here." She said pulling my arm.

Edward lingered in the car for a moment before coming inside to meet us. "What have you seen?" he said coldly.

"Trees, there are trees everywhere, you are screaming, oh god, there are trees all around you, in a ring…and then…there I see it! But…the timeline is wrong…this looks like winter…Bella…your eyes…" she gasped and looked at me searching my face for some clue about what she had seen. "It's so clear"

"Alice!" Edward yelled, snapping her out of her reverie "you don't know that, you don't know what that means."

"Yes I do!" she said firmly.

"What? What is going on?"

"You're eyes Bella, the timing is wrong but this winter, by this winter you will be one of us."

"No…" I whispered, and sitting on the bench just inside the front door without seeing a thing.

"Yes, I don't know if you made a choice or if this has something to do with today but it's going to happen." She said calmly bending down to look at me.

"You don't know that. You're visions; they change as people change their minds, as events unfold." Edward said.

"Yes but…when they're this clear…"

"Stop it Alice, the girl doesn't need the stress, can't you see she's been through enough today?" A kind beautiful woman in her early thirties said walking into the room. "Bella, I'm Esme. I'm sorry that my children are being so rude. Would you like some water?"

"Yes, yeah that'd be…great actually. Thank you."

"Come with me, we can sit in the kitchen while these two talk." She took my arm and hissed at her children as she led me further into the house with her.

"Thank you" I said again, sitting at the counter as she got me a never before used glass and filled it with water.

"Of course dear, don't worry about them, they will calm down in a few moments and we will work something out." She smiled at me with understanding and I remembered that they had all once been human.

"You know what's happening?" I asked looking up at her.

"Yes, Alice told me what she saw; it's too bad she didn't see it in time to keep you from having to go through that confrontation." She sat down next to me and placed the glass between us.

"Yeah…" I said taking a sip of my water, my hand shaking.

"You poor thing, you're really rattled aren't you?" she smiled kindly.

"I…I just don't understand why all of this is happening to me? I mean, Edward says I'm some kind of siren and Alice sees me as a vampire?"

"Yes well, they have their take on events, but every moment has multiple points of view."

"What do you mean?"

"Just remember, they are only people, in a manner of speaking, and in many ways they are still only children. Alice…sometimes her visions are clouded with her own desires…" she pat my hand, her touch cold, but familiar now.

"Ok" Edward said walking into the room purposefully. "We're going to go with the original plan. James is a tracker so he'll probably find his way here soon enough, we're going to need to ditch the car and our clothes pretty quickly once we get ahead of him but Jasper called and he's been setting traps and snares in the woods. They won't hold them but it'll help us keep track of their movements."

"I can't see them" Alice chimed in "they're too erratic, but their focus remains on Bella."

"I…I haven't heard from Jake...the pack needs to know…"

"No Bella, you can't have contact with them until this is over, you can't risk involving them. We can handle this and it's my mess, I put you in harms way and I will take care of it."

"Charlie…"

"You can call him from the car."

"Here" Alice said handing me a shirt "put this on and then give me your sweater, I'll put it on and take a run in the woods with a false trail, hopefully that will get him off your scent long enough for you to make it out of Forks."

"Ok" I said as I took the shirt, my brain not able to think, only follow directions.

"That way dear, the bathroom is down the hall, now hurry." Esme said patting my hand as I stood up.

I changed and peed and washed my hands quickly before looking at my reflection in the mirror. I looked terrible, tired and drawn. I was exhausted and looked like I hadn't eaten in days. The stress of the day was wearing me down and it wasn't anywhere near over. I felt the familiar expanse of fear gripping me making me wish that I had been made of stronger stuff.

I wished I could change my fate, I didn't want to be special or whatever I was. I didn't want to be someone who vampires lusted after. I just wanted to be with Jake. But what if…what if that's what drew him to me too… Would I be willing to give him up if it meant life without this danger? Would I let him go in order to live in a world without monsters that didn't just bump in the night, but stalked you and howled in the distance?

"Bella…" Edward knocked on the door and I splashed water on my face, how long had I been in there?

"Ok, sorry…I'm coming" I called before taking a few deep breaths to steady myself. I opened the door and pretended to smile. "I'm ok, are we leaving?" I looked at him, putting all of my faith in his plan and his claim to care for me.

"Yes, here, give Alice the sweater and let's take Esme's car, you've never been in it before so it will smell the least like you."

"ok, thank you Alice, thank you Esme…I…don't know what I'd be doing right now without you."

"Oh you'd be dead." Alice said with a smile on her face. Sometimes she really was creepy…

Alice walked us out to the car, making sure that our scents stayed together and then bolted out the back door, after waving happily as if we were going on some kind of grand adventure or honeymoon. Only Alice could possibly think that all of this was somehow fun.

We climbed into Esme's car and drove out of Forks quickly. We didn't stop at stop signs and for being the Chief of Police's daughter I was surprisingly unconcerned with speeding limits today.

"I need to call Charlie…" I dialed the phone quickly and thanksfully got his voice mail. "Hey Dad, it's Bella, um I'm going to spend the night at Alice's ok? Her mom said it was Ok and Edward's out of town on some hiking trip so it'll just be a girls night ok? I'll see you tomorrow afternoon. Love you. Bye."

Edward reached over and squeezed my hand, making me realize I had been holding it in a tight fist. "Try to relax ok?" he said softly, not looking at me. "We'll go to Port Angeles and switch cars and buy new clothes; then we can head south. There are some ferries we can take which will pull us out of the main traffic so your scent disperses. We'll need to change cars and clothes regularly, but it'll be Ok."

"I…don't like this."

"Really? I didn't think you'd be adverse to grand theft auto given the circumstances" he laughed lightly, trying to relax me.

"That's not what I mean…" I said softly as we turned around a bend in the road. My Pup, my beautiful red wolf was standing in the middle of the road.

Edward screeched his car to a halt and before it had stopped I was out the door and running to him.

"Jake!" I screamed as I got to him, wrapping my arms around his big furry neck, instantly calmed by his presence. "You're here! You got my call…oh God Jake!" I cried into him savoring the warmth of his fur. I stopped hearing him growl as Edward got out of the car and walked toward us.

"No Jacob, that's not what happened."

…

"Bella, he didn't get your call, he…thought I was taking you out of town without your consent." Edward spoke in the flat even tone he used when he was trying to control himself.

Jacob growled and stepped forward, his head bent as he looked at Edward, my arms were still around him though so he couldn't attack.

"No…no Pup…don't…Edward saved me! We were only leaving because I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't find you anywhere!" he whined and looked at me, his deep brown eyes probing me for the truth.

"It's true Jacob, she's been calling you and everyone who knows you all afternoon."

"Please, calm down, I need to talk to you, there…God Jake, you don't know, I'm…there are vampires after me."

_Snort_

"No, not us" Edward said snarkily. "We have only been trying to protect her…."

…

"Go ahead, we'll wait here."

Pup licked my cheek quickly before bounding off into the woods, only to emerge as a scantily clad Jake.

"Bells" he called as I ran to him. He pulled me into his warm arms that smelled like dirt and wolf. I breathed him in, my body relaxing instantly at the contact of his touch, the electricity that usually excited me calming all of my nerves as it ran through my body. "Honey are you Ok? Let me see you…were you hurt?" he pulled me away from him to look at my face and body, although physically unharmed I was in rough shape.

He pulled me back into his arms and kissed me fiercely, pressing his lips hard against mine, all of his worry and love pounding against me. "Shhh" I said into his mouth, pulling away slightly. I kissed him again softer. "I'm Ok Jake, thanks to Edward."

Jake glared over my head looking at my vampire angel "you wouldn't be in this mess if he'd just leave you alone."

"That's not true ok? James would have found me eventually if Edward hadn't led them to my house…" I stopped, realizing that Jake hadn't been talking about that. His body was shaking and he had dropped his arms from around me.

"You _what!"_ Jake roared, his voice changing to something inhuman with a double timbre I'd never heard before. He stalked slowly, menacingly over to Edward. "You will _never_ go to her house again. You will _never_ put her in danger EVER again!" Jake stared the vampire down, his arms shaking with the need to phase and maim.

Edward, however, did not flinch and maintained his position despite Jacob's imposing figure looking down on him. His voice was soft and even when he spoke. "I have done nothing short of everything for her…I have kept her safe. Where were you last night? Where were you while I was guarding her while she slept? Where were you today when vampires bent on killing or turning her waited for her to come home? Where were you?"

I flinched as Edward uttered the very things I had been trying not to think. His even calm was threatening, like the calm of a storm, there was no way to know what he would do or say next, his potential to destroy unlimited.

"I have been out killing your cousins. There was a whole coven here, saying they were invited by you!."

"They weren't. And while you were doing that I was protecting her, keeping her safe from the things you didn't manage to kill. I was watching her sleep, she's peaceful at night, so still, almost like a vampire."

"Is that a threat?"

"No, just an observation of what form she reverts to in her natural state."

"Natural State my ass." Jake sneered at him.

"I know how much you want to hit me, I can hear it, I can feel it pulsing through you, come on, give in, give me just one reason to break the treaty and rip you to pieces. You disgusting mongrel, you'll never be enough for her!"

"And you think you would be?"

"Of course, I can offer her all the things you can't, including stimulating conversation and an eternity of love." Edward mocked, his arrogance oozing off of him.

"You keep your fucking claws off of her."

"like I said – stimulating conversation." They were nose to nose, fighting over absolutely nothing. I couldn't move, couldn't step forward for fear that I might break whatever magic it was that kept them from coming to blows. It was clear that if that happened there was a decent chance I would loose them both.

"Back down leech, you know there is a line you can't cross."

"Until you get there this is my territory remember." I heard a growl break through Jacob's body at Edward's barely veiled threat. "Don't worry _Pup_. I won't hurt you, especially when she's here, I'd never do anything to hurt her."

"How can we be sure, you're not exactly known for your forthrightness?" Jacob sneered. I watched from the tree line holding myself, begging the earth not to open up beneath me and swallow me whole. Watching them fight was like a dagger through my heart, but I knew whose side I was on and that killed me a little bit more every time I looked at him.

"I have told you nothing but the complete truth."

"Truth from your perspective maybe, the rest of us are more interested in reality."

"I don't care, you are in the way mutt, my family is protecting her, we know how this vampire thinks, we can protect her better then you could hope to, you've proven that to us all already." He looked over at me then and my eyes widened that he would say that to Jake.

"She is not yours to protect." Jake growled.

"You aren't doing the job so I will!" Edward's voice finally rose as he took a step toward Jake, his stance becoming lower and more threatening.

"I don't know what kind of game you're playing leech, but don't start something you can finish."

I opened my mouth to yell at them to stop this, just stop, their feud didn't matter, what mattered was finding James and keeping my father safe. Just as the noise began to move from my chest out into the air a hand reached down from the trees above me snapping onto my mouth as I was lifted into the air.

Everything blurred for a moment and the trees whipped by as he carried me far away from where Jake and Edward were. I could still hear them fighting, completely unaware for the moment that I was gone.


	15. Chapter 15

I could feel the branches ripping at the flesh of my arms. My shirt mostly shred and my blood running from the many gashes I had received. I didn't dare to look at him or make any noise for fear that he would drop me or kill me instantly. His path was unfocused as he jumped from tree to tree climbing higher. No wonder Alice could never see where he was going to be, his mind moved in spits and bursts, his body following without question.

I could no longer hear Jacob and Edward but was sure they would have noticed me missing by now. How could I have been any safer then I had been in the moment before I was stolen, standing with the love of my life, my imprint, who was a werewolf and my best friend who had confessed his love for me and sworn to keep my safe who was a vampire. And yet, I was taken from them, right under their noses, because as usual, men were more interested in the size of their cocks then what really mattered.

I held in my screams, feeling the blood rush to my head at the vertigo as he jumped down to a lower branch, barely missing slamming me into a neighboring tree. As he ran the feeling that we were flying or literally walking in the air consumed me. If I allowed myself to descend into the insanity that my fear inspired I could see how this was almost fun. The visage was beautiful and the trees were lush. The rain had stopped and we were high enough that I could see all the way out to the Quileute River.

I was shocked back into reality as a branch whipped across my face, tearing the skin from my cheek. I sucked in a breath to stifle the scream that begged to be released as my body was bruised and battered further. The pain from the small injuries to my flesh was mounting; my legs were battered from the tree trunks. He ran and laughed and called out to the sky in his joy of having stolen me. James…James was insane with the joy of having me to himself. What he planned to do I wasn't sure.

He had said he would turn me…if he could keep from killing me. Which was preferable? Death or an eternity of blood lust? Where was Jake? Where was Edward? They had sworn to protect me and here I was being battered against the forest with no hope of escape. The predator that had his arms wrapped around my waist the only one who knew were I was.

James paused for a moment "Perfect" he said before hurling me into the sky, a freefall now to my certain death. My breath was knocked out of me as I struck a tree; he had thrown me across a field as he jumped down, allowing my body to slam against the hard bark before sliding down, ripping the rest of my shirt to pieces, and collapsing on the ground.

He crouched down, tilting his head to look at me, willing me to lift my eyes to meet his. "You are an angel" he said softly, his voice purring. I looked up at his red eyes and shuddered at the menace in them.

"Please…" I whispered, wondering if begging would have any effect on him.

He leaned further toward me, his feline features heightened by his feral movements "Oh yes, yes, beg, beg me for your life, tell me how you want to live, how there are people you love…Yes…that will make this so sweet." I pushed off with my legs, inching further away from him. His body was lean and graceful, full of the kinetic power to kill.

"This is your private little hell little angel, but let me tell you, it will be heaven…a life with you will be heaven…I won't kill you, I will drain you as much as I can without killing you and will allow the venom to seep into your body, possessing you from the inside out."

I let out a strangled cry shaking my head denying the reality that was playing out before me. This was, this was wrong; this was not how my life was going to end.

He crawled toward me and hunched over my broken frame. "Swallow that pathetic cry" he breathed as he leaned in and licked the blood on my shoulder. I shuddered and squeaked, pulling my body as far away from his as I could, but I was trapped, wedged up against the tree that had broken my body. He licked me slowly, his cold tongue leaving goose bumps of fear behind them.

My mind recoiled from his touch, his hands holding me in place as he moved his tongue against me, inserting it into the largest of my injuries, forcing the flesh apart as he sought more of me. I screamed with the pain of the penetration.

"This will be a happy ending." He said moving to lick my neck, ingesting the blood that was pouring from my injuries. He purred like a kitten; mewling his pleasure at the taste of my blood.

My fear thickened around me, making my adrenalin pulse through me, the one thing I didn't want to remind him off pounded in my heart ringing in my ears. I choked on my terror as he moved slowly to taste the other side of my face, trailing kisses and licks down my neck. The bile rose in my throat as I squeezed my eyes shut, willing myself to wake up or die, which ever came first, just to escape this moment.

"You have been living on borrowed time, it was only a question of when you would be mine; you are my singer, my fate" he cooed, caressing me with his words, my body frozen in fear. He kissed my jaw and brought his hands to my arms gently before inhaling my scent deeply.

"No…" I whispered "I'm not yours"

"Ahh yes…this" he said bringing his hand to my neck and ripping the crest from me, making me call out with the sudden pain of the chain ripping into my skin. "He has no claim on you, nothing tangible, only a trinket. When I change you, when you look at me through your blood lust…" he licked my cheek bringing his body closer to mine "then you will know what it means to be possessed. To belong to someone…"

His icy hand held my shoulder as he licked the wound on my face slowly. He nuzzled into my neck and brought his hand to my breast which was barely covered by Alice's tattered shirt and my bra. "Yes…I will possess you…" he said, the threat of something my brain could understand forcing my battered body to action.

"No!" I screamed startling him suddenly pulling away from his grasp and scrambling across the clearing we were in…I was…surrounded by trees…a circle of trees… "No." I said again firmly as he smiled up at me. My body ached with the effort to stand up and face off, it was no use to run, I knew that, but I would fight as much as I could.

"You will make a tremendous mate; the best kind of life is the one that doesn't want to die."

He stalked toward me slowly allowing me to take in the power possessed in the body that approached. I knew I was no match for him. When he decided to stop playing cat and mouse with me I would have no hope, but if I could just put him off, just for a small time, then Jake or Edward would find me…they had to find me.

I picked up a stick that was next to me and held it unsteadily as a baseball bat staring him down.

"You still don't understand do you?" he laughed, his head moving from side to side as he stalked closer and closer. "You are nothing compared to me, you are a moth, a fly, against me." Suddenly he was behind me his hands on my hips and his face against my cheek. He whispered softly "you are breakable and small, but I will make you powerful and strong." He gripped me tighter, making me call out with the pain he inflicted on my bones with his hold.

And just as suddenly as he had appeared he was gone, my body still cold from the touch of his hands. He spoke to me from above, up in one of the near by trees. "You see I am designed to kill." He flashed across my vision to the other side of the field, "I am designed to overpower and overwhelm you!" he said, pulling a tree out of the ground, the roots dangling from the end before hurtling it over my head, hitting the tree behind me with a loud crash. Before it could crush me he was there by my side pulling me out from under where it would fall.

"I am your devil, I am your savior; I will give you all of this." He pulled me close to him and leaned in to kiss me, his lips only millimeters from mine, his cold breath repulsing my senses as I tried to pull back. His mouth was hard against mine; nothing like kissing Jacob. When I didn't respond me gripped me tighter pulling my body up into the air and against his marble form.

"I will love you" he said against me, moving to kiss my cheek and neck, licking the last of the blood from my shoulders. "I will make you love me" he hissed before releasing me and looking into my eyes. "You will want this" he threatened. "By the time I am done with your body, you will beg me to turn you, make you mine forever." He crushed his lips against mine again pulling me closer despite my struggling. I was no match. I had no secret powers and no idea what his Achilles heel was and the threat he had made had my mind spinning.

His hands roamed my body ardently, grabbing and kneading my skin roughly, not waiting for a response, only taking what he wanted. I pulled my face away straining against my own body to get as far from his as possible. When my hands were freed I hit him, screaming, punching his impenetrable body with all of my might. The impact of the blows reverberating up my arm, making me scream louder with fear and pain as he laughed and shoved me back onto the ground.

My body crashed down, my bones burning from the impact. "Little Angel, you will never disappoint me, your fire will burn even brighter when you are one of us, no more useless yawning and begging, your passion will burn anything that comes against you." I crawled and scraped and the ground to get away from him but he had reached out and grabbed my leg.

"So beautiful, please, don't make me do any damage to this body that won't heal when you come over." He said softly, almost reverently making me pull and buck harder.

"Jacob!" I screamed hoping that his wolf ears would hear me.

"Now now, that might hurt my feelings." James said as he brought himself to lie between my legs before ripping my bra open in the front.

"No!" I screamed, clawing at him and trying to pull away from his steal grasp.

"Yes….scream…" he said as he brought his mouth down to my breast, taking it into his icy mouth, making me scream again with fear and shock. He moaned against me as his hands pulled the rest of my shirt off before moving lower to my hips. His mouth was cold and hard against me, sucking and pulling on my body, sending shocks of nausea through my system. I struggled against him, pulling on his hair and scratching at his shoulders.

"No, Fuck you, Let go of me! Jake!!!!!" I screamed kicking at him as hard as I could, trying to reach for anything that I might be able to hit the immovable man on top of me. I kicked with my heels against his legs screaming louder then I thought my voice could.

He looked up at me, his devil eyes filled with lust. "Fuck me, yes, yes that's what I'll do" he leaned up to rip my jeans off and I kicked him as hard as I could in the testicles merely making him laugh. "No no darling, it only gets harder when you do that…" My jeans were off in a second, the ripping of them leaving burns along my body. I was lying naked on the cold forest floor now with a terrifying acceptance of my inability to do anything to change my fate.

Shock stilled my flailing and a calm came over me that surely must have been some kind of survival technique my body used to keep me from hurting myself any futher. I looked up at James while surrounded by a ring of trees, knowing that this was it, Alice's vision had come true…I would be one of them…

James smiled wickedly, tilting his head to one side to study me. I was now still and frozen, dead already. As he lowered himself back down on my body my skin crept away from the contact, trying to peel itself off of my to keep from touching him. As he leaned down to kiss me again I didn't move away too tired to fight, but cried quietly.

Then I heard it, a howl coming closer a roar as trees were ripped out of the path of my Pup, my savior.

"Jake!!" I screamed, renewing my battle against James, his attention elsewhere long enough for me to scoot out from under him. "Jake!!!" I screamed again, running toward the sound. As I reached the tree line James grabbed me from behind, lifting me and throwing me against the same tree that had battered me earlier.

"NO! YOU ARE MINE!" he screamed as my body crumpled. "You aren't going anywhere." He seethed before grabbing my leg and bending my knee backwards, immobilizing me with the break and the pain that made my mind fade in and out of consciousness.

Jacob bounded into the clearing and pounced on him, pulling him away from me and tearing at his body with his teeth. The roaring growl from Jake was deafening and the pain in my leg increased as I tried to back away, further into the trees.

"Jake! No!" I screamed as James lunged onto his back, scratching at the large wolf. He gripped on tightly and flung himself backwards, taking Pup with him and throwing him against a boulder across the field. He jumped up, clearly injured but never giving up his battle, his mission to protect me.

Jake crouched and growled before lunging at the catlike vampire who ran under Jake, grabbing one foot in mid air to swing and throw him against the boulder again. Jake's head met the rock making a large crack that I could hear from across the field.

James ran to me in a flash his eyes never leaving Jake's still body. He kneeled next to me and grabbed my arm without a word. He brought it quickly to his lips and bared his teeth, The incisors breaking the skin of my wrist just as my red wolf looked up from where he had fallen.

"Nooo!" I screamed as he bit into my flesh, tearing into me, sucking at me, infecting me with his venom. "Nooo" I screamed again and I thrashed against his hold on me, trying to convince my naked broken body to move.

Suddenly his hold on me was broken and I could hear the snarls of the pack behind me as blackness threatened my consciousness, the pain radiating up my arm from where he had bit me increasing and burning. I had never felt pain before, not really, a broken arm when I was in third grade, a broken heart at my parents' separation, but there was no way to compare those things to this searing inside of me. The fire flames licked up my arm, increasing with every second that the venom remained in my system.

It worked its way into my blood stream, making each vein boil with the pain of death. The searing, mind numbing pain crashed against me, pinning me to the ground. I looked around for relief, begging for salvation but not seeing anyone.

Behind me I could hear Edward yelling at the wolves to bring the body to the fire and for a moment I was gripped with the fear that he meant me. I could see the flickering flames through the lowering veil of my consciousness. Soon I would be as Alice saw, with or without James, that fate was already chosen. I was screaming without knowing it, wondering where that shill sound was coming from.

"Bella, Bella honey?" I heard Jake say as he came over to me, collapsing on to the ground next to me and pulling my naked form into his arms. The first time Jacob and I were completely naked together and here I was ruining the moment by dying.

"Jake…" I croaked with hooded eyes the pain in my arm increasing and making me double over.

"What…Honey are you Ok?" I screamed again, flailing against his body, clutching my arm. "Bella let me see…" he grabbed my arm and I heard him hiss and the blackness filled my consciousness. Through the pain I heard Jake call out:

"Cullen!"

"Oh my God…"

"What do we do?"

"I…I don't know…"

"We can't just let her DIE!"

"She won't" an angelic female voice chimed in. I couldn't see any longer but the sound of her voice let me know I was closer to heaven the earth. "She won't die, I've seen it, Edward just leave it be and she'll be one of us."

"NO! Please, I'm begging you that's not what she wants, please!"

"I…I can try too…"

"What? Anything!"

"I can try to…suck out the venom."

I heard a hiss from Jake before I let out another scream, the pain burning my entire arm and working its way up my neck.

"It's almost too late…"

"Do it."

"What?"

"Do it! Now! Please!"

"Edward don't…she can be with us, this is what I saw…it's meant to be!"

"Please!"

"I…can't…"

Suddenly I felt a warm mouth on my wound and the sensation of a string being pulled out from my wound. My body convulsed, desperate to escape the sensation that would surely kill me faster than the venom in my system.

"God…" he moaned against my, his breath now warm with the heat of my blood, the pain receded, the pulsing burn slowed as he drank me in.

"Stop…Edward…Stop…you're killing her…"

* * *

**Another short one - sorry... I hope it was worth it.  
I know we're following the books pretty tightly right now, but soon there will be more Jake and Bells, I promise :)  
**


	16. Chapter 16

**I want to take a minute to thank a few people - you all mean so much to me and your comments keep me inspired and excited to write. I know I write shorter chapters then most people, writing mostly scene by scene (must be the theatre background) but I'm so touched by how many of you stick with me and read along. Please let me know what you think when you do read, I love it. If you aren't logged in I do allow annonymous comments, but that means I can't comment back (I'm looking at you Hayley and Daisy...)**

**But first, thanks for HopeAlways for always helping make my stories more readable and grammatically correct, Amanda Wilder for always seeking the deeper meaning in what I write, helping me push to expand myself in my writing, and ****twilightfanficreader for going out of her way to help make my stories something accessible to more people and Wendy for making me laugh my ass off at pretty much EVERY comment she leaves.**

**You all rock, you are my muse, thank you for helping me bring these crazy stories in my head to life!**

* * *

My head pounded. The swirling around me based inside my throbbing skull. I tried unsuccessfully to open my eyes, the effort exhausting me before I accomplished my goal. I could feel myself breathing. In and out. In and out. A slow pulsing strain as my body worked its involuntary systems. All of my effort was placed on the activities which we usually do without thought, breathing, pumping blood, feeling.

My body was numb; I couldn't feel anything but a slow ache that stretched out from my heart. I heard a soft beep beep next to me but couldn't place the sound. I tried again to open my eyes, cracking them just enough to let in the dim light in the room around me.

"Bella?" my father's voice said.

I opened my mouth in an attempt to answer but the effort was deafening. My mouth was dry and thick.

"Bella Baby, it's ok if you can't talk. I'm here." his hand touched mine and I could feel it in the distance, far away, as if I was the pea and he was the princess, the mattresses of my pain separating us.

"You're Ok now Bells, you're Ok." I heard him whisper to the both of us while kissing my hand and holding it to his forehead. I drifted back to sleep slowly, hearing my father's soft sobbing in the distance.

I dreamed of screams and blood, the kind that makes the best kind of movies but when confronted in real life scars you more deeply then any physical pain. Red eyes loomed above me and I tried to run, my body frozen in fear. I slept fitfully and awoke to find myself tangled in tubes and wires attached to my body.

I was in the hospital.

I could open my eyes easier now, it was dark outside and the light was soft against my blurred vision. I tried to sit up, but found I still did not have complete control over myself. The pain was greater now as my awareness of my body increased. I was glad that it was there and real, that I wasn't floating in a bodiless consciousness, but I was not particularly happy about the amount of pain I was in. I moaned as I tried to shift my position to alleviate the pain.

"Here Bella, let me help you." I heard a kind velvet voice say from across the room.

"Edward?"

"I'm here my love, I'm right here." he cooed brushing his cool lips against my forehead. I sighed with relief to know I was alive and not alone.

"Where…Where's Jake?" I croaked out, the last memory I had was of him cradling me as someone sucked the poison out of my system, saving my life.

"He's here; he's asleep on the floor, your Father is downstairs getting coffee. Charlie tried to make Jacob go home but he refused."

"He's…he's Ok?" I asked remembering the sound of his head and the boulder.

"He's tough, don't worry, he'll heal fast. He's sporting a nice black eye right now though." Edward smirked, sitting on the bed next to me and taking my hand. "Only you would be worried about someone else at this moment. Bella, are you feeling alright?"

"Yes…yeah I am. Just…tired."

"Ok, do you want to sleep some more?"

"No, Edward…what happened? What happened after…he bit me? What did you tell my Dad? I need to know what happened." I could feel the panic building inside me again at the thought that they hadn't killed James, that he was still out there somewhere.

"Shhh…Shhh love, it's ok…I'll tell you everything, just calm down ok?" he ran a cool hand over my forehead, caressing my cheek as I took a deep breath and nodded my head.

"When I got to the clearing Jacob was running to check on you. The pack had surrounded James and they were taking him apart methodically. It was quite gruesome to witness; they bit off section by section of his flesh, not the usual dismemberment but something much more elaborate."

"Oh My God" I shivered at the thought of the violence and cruelty they were capable of, even to one as evil as James…

"Bella, they did it for you. Their thoughts, they were so enraged with what he had done to you, it was all they could do not to make him suffer more. To attack a pack member's imprint, especially the Alpha's…"

"What? No…Jake's not the Alpha."

"I…I don't know anything about that, only what I could hear in their minds and to them he is. If it's not official that's only a question of a rubber stamp. The pack follows Jacob."

"Oh…"

"It was fascinating, to hear how their minds worked all together. Did you know they are telepathic in that form…it was miraculous how fast their thoughts passed, sometimes it wasn't even a full thought, more of an image or an idea and the rest would latch onto it. Really amazing, I would love to spend more time with them and see how it works."

"You have a really boring life don't you." I asked smiling weakly at him.

"It's rare I stumble upon something new" he smiled back. "It just makes me want to separate them and experiment with that ability."

"Ok Dr. Zimbardo" I laughed, making myself wince with pain.

"Hmmm… you should rest."

"No Edward, please, tell me what happened."

"Are you sure, there's plenty of time and you need rest in order to heal."

"Please, I…I can't bear not knowing. My imagination is worse then anything that could have happened…"

"When the pack was certain James was torn apart enough they placed his body, as much as it could still be called that, on the fire I had built, we burned the pieces."

I grimaced at the thought of James burning to death, his body dismembered and mutilated. Edward stroked my hand with his thumb "there is no chance of him coming back Bella, he's dead."

"Thank god…" I sighed, feeling a weight lift off of me and free me from some of the compression on my chest. My injuries would heal, if he was dead, I would survive.

"But while the wolves threw him on the fire…Jacob discovered that you had been bitten." Edward looked away, the pain on his face almost a mirror image of my own at the memory. "The venom was spreading through your blood stream; we could see the color changing in your arm as you laid there. I don't know how much you remember…"

"I just remember it burning…"

"It's a terrible pain" he said bringing my hand to his lips and kissing it "I know."

"Edward, I'm so sorry you ever had to go through that."

"Carlisle did it to save my life; he would have never subjected me to this existence otherwise." He looked sadly out the dark window across from him lost in his own thoughts for a moment. The beeping of the machines pumping medication into my system counting off the seconds until he returned to me.

"It was almost too late, you were screaming and…I didn't know what to do…"

"You saved me?" I looked at his distant eyes hoping he would look back.

"I…I sucked the venom out…yes." He looked down at the bed, still unwilling to meet my gaze. "And…Bella, please don't be angry, there was no way to do it without…tasting you…" he looked up at me shyly.

"Edward, you saved my life! That doesn't matter!"

"Oh thank God you aren't…I was afraid you would be upset with me, I know that you didn't want to be one of us and this was the only way I could think of to stop it but I knew you wouldn't like the idea of me drinking from you." He said quickly, grasping my hand now with both of his.

"No, God, if you hadn't been there…" I shuddered again, stunned by the vivid memory of the pain of James' venom coursing through my system.

"I didn't, I didn't know if I could stop…I almost didn't…you lost a lot of blood."

"But you did." I brought my other hand to where his cold touch was embracing me. "You did and you saved me, I will always be grateful."

"I'm sorry we weren't there sooner, I'm sorry you were stolen from right in front of us. I'm so ashamed of my behavior, Bella, I would never wish anything like what you experienced on anyone and then to have you…I could read his mind and it was horrible. I couldn't track where he was going, every moment was like a new thought and all he could focus on was tasting you, raping you, owning you. Jake could smell the trail of blood you left behind…that's how we finally found you…I was so afraid." He leaned down and laid his torso against me, sobbing unshedable tears as I held him and soothed him.

"I'm here, I'm ok. Edward shhh…it's Ok, you saved me. You're my hero…shhhh." I rubbed his back and warmed his cold body with my touch.

"Great – now Hero Boy, get the fuck out of here." Jake broke in from the end of the bed his hands in fists, his face contorted with anger and jealousy. The bruise along his cheek bone was purple and the cut on his forehead still raw. He must have been hurt badly if he still looked this bad.

"Jake…" I moaned reaching for him.

"I'm here honey, I'm here…" he was at my side in an instant, his face soft as he looked at me pulling me up into his arms, ignoring the tubes connecting me to the bed. "I love you Bella, so much" he kissed my head over and over, rubbing my back.

I felt Edward get up off the bed and move away.

"Edward" I said, pulling away from Jake slightly, looking back at the tortured vampire standing in the doorway of my hospital room. "Thank you."

"You're welcome Love."

"First of all" Jake hissed above me, his voice quiet but menacing "Do NOT call her that. Second of all, I told you to get the fuck out of here. I let you stay to make sure she'd wake up, now get your ass out of this fucking room before I kill you myself."

"Jake." I said putting a hand on his chest "don't…"

"No Bella, it's Ok…Jacob has reason to be angry, none of this would have happened if I had stayed in Alaska…I…I hope you can forgive me." With that Edward bent his head and slinked from the room. I watched him go from my place on the bed, my heart breaking for him.

I sighed and looked back at Jake, the love in his face breaking my strength. My tears fell as he held me, rocking me softly; signing to me in another ancient language. The fear from what had happened to me shook through me and the realization of the pain my body was in bore down on me like an anvil. My bones ached and my muscles screamed. I could feel the cuts along my arms crusted with blood, cracking open and oozing blood as I wept.

His warm touch soothed my fears as his voice silenced the screaming in my head. He rubbed my back as he soothed my fears, reminding me with his touch that this was what was worth living for. Soon my tears were slowing and my breath was calmer. My body was battered and broken but as long as Jake was with me I knew my heart would heal.

"Jake" I looked up at him, knowing with the full strength of my soul what I wanted.

"Yeah Bells" he smiled into my hair, inhaling my scent shakily as he positioned himself next to me on the bed, trying to find room for his large frame without asking me to move too much.

"I love you…"

"I love you too honey." He said again, pulling me close against his chest.

"I want…I want to do it."

"What?" he asked gazing up at the ceiling trying to impose calm on us, not fully aware of the importance of the conversation we were having.

"I want…I want to be with you Jake, forever, always. I don't want anything to threaten that. I… I guess…" I looked up at him, his eyes glancing down to meet me. "Yes…" I said against his lips before kissing him lightly.

"Yes?" he said when I pulled back, confusion wrinkling his forehead.

"I want to be yours…I think…I think we should do the mating thing." I blushed, it sounded so dirty when I said it like that.

"Really?" he said, a smile threatening to break free from his attempt at composure.

"Yeah… I love you." I leaned in to kiss him again but stopped, moaning as the pain in my leg radiated out.

"You're hurting." He said with a frown.

"I just…I'm so tired."

"Ok, Honey…Sleep, we can talk about all this later."

"Charlie!" I said quickly sitting up against my body's protest. "What did you tell Charlie…he doesn't know…what James almost…?"

"No. We told him you were in a car accident. Come here, lie back down."

"A car accident?" I turned to look at him raising my eyebrow. He opened his arm to me and smiled at me. Sighing I laid my head on Jake's chest and listened to the rumble in his chest as he spoke, allowing it to sooth me.

"Yeah, um…the truck is totaled, but we told him you hit a Buck and even though you were buckled, the impact slammed your knee against the dash. Carlisle took care of covering the fact that your injuries didn't match that at all, so Charlie bought it."

"Oh… I love that truck!"

"I know Bells, but think of the upside. I got to hit Edward with it REALLY hard!" his chest shook with his laughter.

"You What?!?"

"Well, we had to make it look like that actually happened and the only thing hard enough to cause the kind of damage we needed was…well a vampire. It really was awesome seeing the look in his eyes as I slammed on the gas and speed towards him…Didn't even give him a scratch, fucker."

"Jake… can you try to be nice to him?"

"Nope, I see no reason for that what so ever."

"Because he's my friend? Because he saved my life?"

"Bells your life would have never needed saving if it wasn't for him. Can we fight about this later; right now you need to rest Ok? So when Charlie asks what happened?"

"I hit a deer." I said annoyed.

"A big one with antlers, that's important to explain the cuts on your face and arms, the windshield shattered."

"Ok." I sighed burrowing deeper into his chest.

"Now sleep" he whispered against me. I nuzzled against him, feeling his warmth surround me, pulling me down into a peaceful sleep. This time I dreamt of waterfalls and shadows playing in the dunes. The warmth of being loved wrapped around my soul giving me the strength to move on from what James had done and what he had almost done. My life was a precious thing, now that I had seen the end of it I didn't want to waste a single moment. The realization that I wanted to be with Jake completely and eternally was as freeing as if someone had suddenly changed all the rules and I was now allowed to run through the yard naked singing without reprimand.

Despite my father's attempts to get Jake to leave the hospital he wouldn't. Billy did not make an issue out of the school he missed, saying that the tribe would be lenient given the circumstances. Charlie didn't understand the depth of that statement but he accepted it on face value.

I healed quickly, with Jake as my nursemaid. He attended physical therapy with me making me laugh through the pain of regaining the range of motion in my leg. Once I was allowed to go home though my father put a stop to him spending the nights by my side, certain that if I was well enough to come home I was well enough to get myself into trouble. If only he knew what we were planning.

Jake refused to discuss the mating until I was better and walking without crutches or a cast. While I was eager he held back barely willing to touch me beyond holding my hand or a gentle caress. He said that he didn't want to add any pressure to me but I wondered if there was something else to his concern. The weeks passed slowly but I got better everyday. My skin healed unblemished and there was no evidence of the battle in the woods besides a quickly healing knee and a small half moon scar on my wrist, the perfect outline of James's teeth.

I respected the distance Jake put between us as long as I could; knowing that what had happened with James had upset him. My mortality was something that would stand in our way at some point. I would age and unless he stopped phasing he wouldn't; right now though it was more important that he ascend to his proper position as Alpha. Besides he looked at least 7 years older then me at this point so we had time to worry about that.

Jake returned to school and patrolling but was with me whenever he could and usually spent the night in my room against Charlie's orders. I didn't hear form Edward or Alice the entire time I was in the hospital, which considering Jake was with me all the time was probably just as well. Now that I was home and had started back at school they were conveniently out of town. I wanted to talk to Edward but knew he would need time before he would forgive himself enough to believe I could forgive him. Alice though…I didn't know what I would say to her. I had a distant memory of her telling Edward to let me change, but I didn't dare ask Jake for confirmation.

Kim called and visited and I knew through Jake that Jared was trying to figure out how to go about telling her without telling her. The restrictions on the wolves made it almost impossible for them to imprint without breaking the rules. Jake had skirted the outer limits of what had been allowed by coming to me as Pup as it was and Jared wasn't sure if Kim would be as receptive as I was without some kind of warning. I offered to talk to her, but Jared wanted to find a way to do it himself.

I was anxious for Kim to know about the wolves. I liked Emily, but Kim was closer to my age and someone I already got along with so well. It was so hard not to just tell her what was going on. I didn't have any Alpha orders holding me back. I knew she would relax about Jared's disappearing act and random injuries just as I had once I knew what was going on. Being inducted into the world of the supernatural wasn't easy, but it certainly made it easier when the person you loved could just be honest with you.

One night after Charlie had gone to bed Jake climbed in my window to meet me. I was hobbling around a little, but my knee had made an almost full recovery. He came in gingerly, hiding something behind his back.

"What do you have?"

"Just a little something for my girl" he said with a twinkle in his eye. From behind his back he pulled a cupcake squished inside a plastic baggie. "It was hard to carry in my mouth." He smiled.

"What's this for?" I put the mangled treat on my desk and wrapped my arms around his neck, leaning in for a kiss.

"We didn't get to celebrate you birthday." He smiled down at me before bringing his lips to mine softly.

"Do we really have to?" I groaned pulling away from him.

"Of course! Eighteen is a big one and you were in the hospital still when we should have been out celebrating. You know, you can vote now!"

"Well, my world is complete." I smiled sitting on my bed, taking the ace bandage off of my knee and stretching my leg.

"How's it doing?"

"Carlisle said I can start driving again next week."

"That's great." He knelt down next to the bed, taking my foot into his hands and rubbing me. He slowly worked his way up my calf and to my thigh, softly massaging the sore muscles that were working so hard as I healed.

"Mmmm, thanks." I said, leaning back on my arms, letting his touch melt away the pain. I had been walking more then usual, having started back at school. It was good to see everyone and I was catching up quickly between Angela bringing work over to me while I was out and teachers being extra lenient. Jakes hands worked back down my thigh, rubbing the outside of my leg tenderly, helping the muscles lengthen and relax.

"So, I have a present for you."

"Other then the fantastic mush-cake?" I teased as he smiled up at me.

"Yes, other then that."

"Ok, what is it?"

"Well, I know you're upset that the truck is ruined, but she was on her last legs anyway."

"Do not speak ill of the dead." I glared making him laugh.

"Ok…well, I finally finished work on the rabbit."

"That's great!"

"But you know I don't really need it between running and the bike."

"I guess." I said, not sure where he was going with this.

"So you should drive it."

"What?" I sat up and looked at him.

"You should drive the Rabbit."

"But Jake…it's your car."

"Yeah, so?"

"I don't know are you like giving me a car?"

"In a sense I guess, I mean, it's already registered and has plates so it seems silly to pay to do all that again. We can just leave it as mine but you can have it."

"Wow…I mean…thanks, but…"

"Bella" he came and sat next to me on my bed. "Let me do this ok? Let me take care of you."

"Why Jake, I can get another car, you don't have to give me yours."

He sighed exasperated running a hand through his hair. "That's ridiculous, I have something, you need it, just take it. Consider it a loan or a ride share or something. I'd really love it if you put your pride in your pocket on this one and just let me do this."

"Ok…I…thank you…I just don't get why this is so important to you." I turned to look at him.

"Really? You have no idea why I would want to…do something for you, take care of you?"

"No"

"Because I love you and that's my job."

"Jake, if I'm going to put my pride in my pocket could you throw that macho crap out the window?" I glared at him pulling my good leg up against my body while we talked.

"It's not…Jesus, do you have to make _everything_ hard? We're essentially getting married right? I know we haven't talked about it in a while but that's still what you want right?"

"Yes! I told you that." I didn't pause to answer; no thought entered my mind, that's how sure I was of my decision.

"But you don't want me to think it's important to take care of you? I'm sorry, but that's just not going to change."

"Oh." I said looking at the bed spread.

"So what's wrong with the car?"

"I guess…nothing when you put it like that…"

"Ok then." He smiled triumphantly at me.

"Now about that ego…" I laughed standing up to go pack up my homework and get ready for bed. Before I had gotten all the way to my desk I felt Jake's arms around my waist, pulling me back against him. I sighed in the familiar embrace, enjoying these rare moments of contact between us. Soon he would pull away, claiming that he didn't want to hurt my leg. My disappointment settled in along with my joy.

"Bells…do you; do you want to actually get married? You know at some point?"

"Oh" I turned in his arms to face him. "I don't know, I hadn't, I hadn't thought about that. Does that matter?"

"No, for the pack it doesn't, but…it might be nice…someday." He looked away shyly and I could see the blush start to spread over his cheeks.

"Jacob Black, are you proposing?"

He smiled and blushed further, his golden brown skin turning a deep red. "No…"

"It's sounded like you were." I leaned in and kissed his neck softly.

"I just…you know, Charlie might like it…"

"Hmmm" I kissed up his neck softly, pulling his skin into my mouth softly.

"And, you know, it would make things legal…"

"Hmmm" I sucked on his lobe, flicking my tongue against it quickly, making him inhale quickly and pull me up closer to him. I kissed along his jaw; waiting for him to pull away and tell me we needed to be careful with Charlie in the next room and my leg and the million and one other reasons Jake had given me lately to not be physical. I suspected that my getting hurt had frightened him more then he was willing to admit.

"Bella" he sighed as I pulled myself against him, standing on my good leg. I pulled his face down to meet mine and willed him to kiss me, to let me in. I kissed him softly on the side of the mouth before moving over and kissing his firmly. His body relaxed as one hand moved up my back under my shirt. Heat radiated out from his touch starting a fire on my skin that raged for more of him.

I sucked on his lower lip making him whimper softly. "Kiss me…" I whispered before kissing his closed mouth again. "Please…" I licked his upper lip enticing him with what little feminine wiles I had.

He leaned further into me, gathering my body into his arms and lifting me softly off the ground before opening his mouth to me. I welcomed the taste of his tongue happily, murmuring my pleasure as he purred into my mouth. Setting me down gently he guided us back over to my bed. I refused to stop kissing him, afraid that if he had a moment to catch his breath he would stop.

"I love you…" he said as he leaned down over me as I sat down. He eased me back onto the bed. I lay down and whined my complaint when he pulled back from me, before I saw that he was pulling off his shirt before coming back to lay next to me.

"I love you too Jake." I said when his body was lying next to mine, his mouth on my collar, my hands wrapped around his broad body. He kissed up the side of my neck, leaving a trail of heat and need behind him. Gripping him tightly, I wrapped a leg over his hip, pulling him closer to me. His teeth raked across my skin as his hand gripped the back of my thigh roughly, pulling it higher. "God" I moaned throwing my head back, savoring every moment of his attention.

He brought his hand slowly from my thigh over my ass and up under my shirt until he reached my bra. I shivered with the anticipation of his touch as his mouth found mine again. I kissed him roughly: thrusting myself into his mouth, sucking on his tongue, biting his lip. I moved my hips against him as he massaged my breast, rolling his thumb over my nipple with enough pressure to make me gasp.

"Fuck Bells…" he growled as he rolled us over, his weight hovering above me, his eyes shining with yellow fire like the sun. I ran my hands down his chest feeling the strength beneath.

"Come here Pup" I said looking up at him arching my back to get closer. His mouth was on mine hard and burning as he kissed me and allowed his body to crush against mine. I moaned from the feeling of him against me, his heat radiating though my clothes, setting my skin ablaze. I kissed him back with all of the passion I had in me pulling him closer. His erection throbbed between us, pressing against me with a force that made me cry out.

"Shhhh…Bells, Charlie's on the other side of that wall" he giggled into my neck as I brought one hand over my mouth. "Can you be quiet?" he asked against my skin. I could only nod my head as I felt him begin to slide down my body, his mouth trailing kisses along my shirt, stopping momentarily to suck on my nipple through the thin fabric.

Whimpering I closed my eyes and kept my hand over my mouth to remind me of the need to be quiet, but when Jake kneeled between my legs and brought his hand to the waist-band of my sleeping shorts I sat up and looked at him. He smiled his most cocky, sexy smile and I felt my desire rush between my legs. Smiling back I lied down and lifted my hips to help him remove the fabric separating him from my flesh.

He threw them on the floor and bent down to kiss my stomach, making my hips buck with the need to feel his lips against me. He kissed along my hip bone and down the line that connected my waist to my thigh. Slowly he leaned in and sucked on the skin of my inner thigh making me suck in a breath sharply.

"Mmmm" he moaned as the kissed my mound softly, rubbing his nose against the hair I had left there. "You smell…God you smell just…edible…" he looked up at me with hooded golden eyes and I smiled. This was something we had never done before. I had felt him against me and his hand had brought me to orgasm more times then I could remember but he had never kissed me there before.

I shook softly with the anticipation of his touch and bent my legs. As my folds opened before him I heard him growl before bringing his hand between us and touching me softly. He traced the outline of my outer lips before opening me, stroking along my inner folds. I moaned as I watched his eyes taking in the sight of me.

He was entranced, enraptured by the smell of my desire that increased as he watched me. His finger grazed along the very center of me, rolling over my clit and making me push my hips down in need. "Jake…" I sighed as his finger twirled around the outside of my opening, his purr rumbling loud and steady.

"Beautiful" he sighed before lowering his head and kissing my opening, sucking and then inserting his warm tongue into me. I gasped with the sensation. He had ever been inside me before, not even his finger and the feeling of his thick soft tongue plunging into the depths of me, pulling out my taste and desire was more then I could handle.

I grasped the sheets, biting down on my lip in the effort not to scream. He licked up the length of me, stopping to suck gently on my clit making my eyes roll back into my head and my toes curl. Encouraged by my reaction he stayed there, keeping his attention on my core and bringing his fingers to my entrance. He placed one just at my opening, pushing gently down against me, not entering.

"Fuck Jake…" I said, uttering the rare explicative in my rush of passion. He nibbled on my lips as he pushed his finger softly into me, making me moan and move against him. "God"

He murmured against me, the purr of his enjoyment vibrating against me bringing me higher and higher as he made love to me with his finger. His tongue was flat and firm as it stroked me. I brought my fists to my mouth, biting down in the attempt to stay quiet as my eyes squeezed shut in response to the building explosion in my body.

Soon he was sucking on me again, the heat of his body searing against my sensitive flesh. I screamed silently as he pushed another finger into me, stretching me and pushing me over the cliff of my orgasm. I felt the contraction in my core as my stomach clenched and my body lifted up off the bed his hands and mouth the only thing grounding me to this world.

I shook with the intensity of release as he lapped up the evidence happily.

"I could do that all day." He said sliding up along me again, his face wet with the flavor of me. I wiped it off of his face with my hand before leaning in to kiss him softly.

"So…" he said that smug look back on his face "is that a yes?"

"What? There was a question?" I asked sleepily.

"Will you marry me?"

"Hmmm probably" I murmured into his shoulder.

"Well, I'll take it…for now." He kissed me on the temple and pulled me closer to him "sleep now honey, I'll bring the Rabbit over after school." I could feel him chuckling as I descended into a blissful slumber.


	17. Chapter 17

I can't blame Jacob for everything that happened. I can't blame him for something he had no control over. It doesn't change the fact that I'm here, burnt out, cold to the core, ashes of myself floating away in the wind. When you face recovery from an insurmountable injury, the knowledge that you are loved is what pulls you through, but during that attack he took something from me I didn't even know needed. And now I see that maybe Alice was right…maybe it would have been better if they had just let me change. Then I would already be dead and maybe my unbeating heart would be incapable of breaking. – Bella Swan December 15th

* * *

Sitting in English class I looked out the window and smiled at my new car. The Rabbit was in perfect condition; Jake had detailed it and cleaned all of the upholstery. Fortunately no amount of cleaning managed to remove the inherent Volkswagen smell that they all seemed to have. I loved it. I loved that it was Jake's and that it was mine. Charlie had thought it an odd thing for him to do but didn't say anything. He was surprisingly supportive of our relationship and made a point to avert his eyes whenever Jake left at night so I could steal a kiss.

"Hello Bella" a smooth soft voice said from above me.

"Edward!" I cried, standing up and throwing my arms around him without thinking about the effect I had on him or the spectacle I was making out of us in the class. I just didn't care. I had missed him so much.

He stood stoically as I hugged him before slowly wrapping his arms around me and sinking his face into my hair. He sighed heavily before pulling back and smiling at me.

"I didn't expect that!" he said looking down and away from me.

"No? Well, I guess I'm a mystery to all the Cullens then." I smiled before taking his hand and pulling him to sit next to me. "I'm so glad you're back. Why did you leave?"

"After your…accident I thought I should let you heal in peace."

"I'm always better when you're here Edward."

"Perhaps, but Jacob is not and…you are with him now."

"Edward, I've been with him all along, it just took you until now to accept it, that doesn't change anything about my wanting to be your friend."

"I'm glad." He looked up at me "But, still, I thought it best to give you two some time and…I needed to discuss some things with Alice."

"Oh" I said not sure what to think about Alice.

"She's extremely sorry about what happened" he said quietly.

"I don't even know exactly what happened…but…Alice didn't want you to help me did she?" my hands were on the table fiddling with a pencil, holding all of my attention.

"No…it's not that, she just…she was so sure of what she saw that…"

"Mr. Cullen, so glad to have you back with us today." Ms. Watson interrupted him "Perhaps you could tell us what book you have chosen to write your paper on for the Final this quarter?

_"The Kitchen God's Wife_" Edward said easily without thought, picking the teachers favorite book out of her head easily. He clearly had no idea what he was getting himself into with that one.

"My…what a mature choice." I snickered thinking that if Ms. Watson only knew how mature Edward was she'd have a stroke.

"Well, you did say we should read something about second generation immigrants, this looked very interesting."

"I'm curious to see what you will make of it. And you Ms. Swan? What will you be reading?"

"Oh umm…_The Far Euphrates_ by Aryeh Lev Stollman"

"My goodness quite a choice."

I smiled looking down at the desk hoping to get her attention away from me. I'd read that book before and knew the story well, but there was so much there to mine in a paper, the holocaust, gender reassignment, Judaism. I was excited to reread it.

"I take it you have started reading?" she smiled waiting until I nodded before moving on and asking Jessica Stanley what should would be working on. I gazed out the window again, smiling at my car wishing that school would end soon so that I could drive down to La Push. Jake was so busy with patrolling and school and mechanic work, he was studying to take the GED and just be done with it. He had wanted to just drop out since he didn't really need it and so many people there do that anyway but Charlie gave him a good scolding about being good enough for me. My father's protective nature was on overdrive since the accident. I couldn't blame him, it had been frightening, far more so then he would ever know, but it was getting a little annoying.

"So, did you go to Alaska again?" I whispered under my breath, knowing Edward could hear me.

"No, we went to Central America, they have lots of mountain lions."

"Oh…like…to eat?"

"Not for you." He smiled his teeth gleaming white in the sun forcing me to remember momentarily what he was.

"Did you have fun?"

"It was Ok, Emmet got rather mangled by a crocodile though which was highly entertaining."

"What is wrong with you?" I asked smiling at my book.

"More than you'll ever know." He sighed quixotically making me look up at him in questioning. "Oh and watch out, Mike Newton wants to talk to you after class" Edward said waggling his eyebrows at me suggestively. What exactly did I have to do to get the guys around here to accept that I was taken? Maybe I should just get a wedding ring. That would serve them right.

Looking down at my hand I imagined what it would be like to have a ring there, one that Jacob had given me. It had been a week since he'd so…delightfully asked me to marry him. Neither of us brought it up again, but I knew that no matter how much he claimed it didn't matter it was something he wanted along with the mating. Surprisingly the idea was bothering me less and less the more I thought about it, but I wasn't about to tell him that.

When the bell rang Edward bolted from class quickly, laughing to leave me to my fate.

"Hey Bella" Mike said walking up to my desk as I packed up my books "Cullen sure was in a hurry huh? Where's he been?"

"Not sure." I muttered, not looking at him.

"Well, you two were talking so much and you're like friends with him right?"

"Yeah, he's great, but you know, he doesn't tell me everything." I pulled my bag onto my shoulder and looked up at his nervous face.

"So, look, I just…I thought I should tell you…"

I stood there, staring at him as he blocked my way out of the aisle. He shuffled his feet before looking up at me.

"Look, you know, you're really special to me."

"Mike, you know I'm still with Jacob right? I can't go out with you." I said quickly, hoping to save us both some time and embarrassment.

"Oh, yeah! I know that, who could miss _him_?" he smiled.

"Okay…" I said, not sure what was going on, this didn't fit with Edward's warning.

"I just…wanted you to know that Jessica and I…are kind of…together now."

"Oh…Oh! Great, that's good!" I said making him smile at me widely.

"Oh good, I know that there's always been something between us and well I always hoped that if you broke up with Jacob…but Jessica's been really…great lately."

"That's good Mike, I'm happy for you! Really! Maybe you two and Ange and Ben and Jake and I could all go out sometime."

"That would be fun…what about Lauren though, you know, she's still got it bad for that Paul guy you introduced her too." We started walking out of the room and to our next class.

"You can't blame Lauren's being a slut on me, I didn't introduce them. And Paul, well I don't think he's interested."

"Oh… That's too bad, he seemed like he could chill her out some."

"Yeah well Paul doesn't take much shit but I think we're stuck with bitching Lauren after all."

He laughed and waved as we came to his next class "Edward" I muttered, certain to kick his ass for making me suffer through that. He was standing at my locker, chuckling to himself breaking into a fit of laughter when he saw my face.

"You're dead Cullen" I said.

"Yep!" he laughed again.

"Why would you do that to me!?!"

"Never trust a vampire Bella, trust me." He smiled making me groan and laugh along with him as I got my books out for my next class. I managed to avoid Alice, or she avoided me all day. At some point I was going to have to talk to her, but how could you forgive someone for wanting to allow you to die. I honestly had very little to say to her.

After school I left quickly, feeling the pull of Jake beckoning me to La Push. I was eager to see the pack too, Jared had decided to find a way to tell Kim and I had come up with an idea that might work. Driving the Rabbit was still new for me. It didn't handle like the truck and I was so low to the ground in it. It wasn't a fast car but it was decent and I was happy to have the independence of my own wheels again. Hanging from the rear view mirror was a small dream catcher and on the bumper was a sticker that said "I Brake For Wolves." Sometimes Jake had a little too much fun with things.

Pulling into the driveway I could hear angry voices coming from the back yard.

"Fuck you Quil!" I heard Leah scream as I rounded the corner and saw a disturbing number of large naked teenage boys and Leah, also completely nude.

"It's a reasonable point" Embry said as I squealed.

"Oh my God" I said turning my back to the, "I'm sorry!" I said quickly covering my face with my hands even though I was facing the other direction.

"Bells!" Jake said running over to me. "It's ok, come on, look, they're putting clothes on."

"Do you often hang out in your yard naked?"

"Actually yes, more then I'm happy about." He chuckled.

"With Leah?" I looked at him and raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, was she naked? She's SUCH A BITCH I didn't NOTICE" he raised his voice to be sure she would hear it laughing.

"Jacob Black, just because you've got some kind of fucking birthright don't think I won't strip your ass down here in front of everyone!" she yelled back storming over to him, she now had on shorts and a sports bra.

"Try it" he said shoving me out of the way.

"I got 10 on the Bitch" Embry said from where they were still standing, now in cut off jeans.

"Jesus Christ you guys!" Jared called trying to bring everyone back to reality.

"Leah, why don't you calm down? They don't mean anything by it." Sam said trying to break in as she squared off against Jake. She was built, tall and muscular, I don't think many men would have a chance against her, but Jake was much bigger.

"I may be the only girl but I'm not taking this shit from any of you!" she screamed at Sam who shook his head.

"Come on Leelee." He said again softly

"Don't start that shit with me Sam."

"Besides, what does it matter" Quil started "I have my eye on all of you in every moment, with an attack plan adjusting with each new threat."

"Really?" Jake asked raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, you can relax I've got it."

"That's insane Quil." Jared said.

"How exactly do you see yourself within the pack?" Paul spoke up finally from further away.

"Me? Oh I'm the strategic planner, like the Beta…"

"Beta?" Embry asked

"You know, Alpha…Beta…"

"Omega?" Paul inserted.

"I'm Kappa!" Jared laughed.

"I don't think so Quil." Sam laughed.

"Why not? It's not like you're the Alpha." Quil said quickly, before realizing what he was saying. "Oh Fuck Sam, I'm so sorry."

"No…it's, that's alright."

"Oh Shit" Jared hissed.

"No Fuck, it's not like you aren't in charge. Fuck."

"Nice job Quil" Embry chided "Now you've pissed off Leah _and_ castrated Sam."

"Fuck you!" Sam turned on Embry while Jake laughed.

"He's still got his balls, shit I just saw them!" Jake laughed.

"Leah's the only one without any thing useful between her legs." Paul leered.

"Fuck you Paul, you all suck, shit" Leah glared at Paul "My balls are bigger then all of yours!"

"Oh Yeah?" Quil chimed in "Come on, let's see you do it!"

"I am NOT peeing in front of you." She screamed at him making Jake laugh.

"I didn't know Bitches worried about such things." He teased.

"Fuck yeah!" Embry called while Jared laughed.

Without thinking I punched Jacob in the arm hard enough to hurt my hand but not hard enough for him to do more then notice. "Jacob!" I yelled before walking over to Leah. "Don't you call her that!"

"Sorry"

"Female Dog better?" Quil asked making them all hoot and holler.

"They keep treating me like a fucking GIRL!" she screamed looking around at them. "I am just as big and just as fast, sometimes faster then all of you."

"We know that" Sam said chiming in "It's just…we worry about you."

"That's fucking bull shit!"

"They can't imagine you getting hurt is all!"

"I can take care of myself."

"Leah…" Jake said quietly taking a step toward her, the yellow tint to his eyes returning slowly until there was no brown left except for the center of his pupil "you know why we protect you, you know we love you, you can hear it and feel it within us. There's no one here who wouldn't die for you, just like we would for our brothers, but you are precious. You may not like it, but it's not an insult. Choose to think of it as an honor. You are the first female wolf since Q'wati transformed our people, you are our priestess."

He stared at her in silence until she looked down and nodded her head.

"And we shall act as Quillayute men should. Warriors do not fight with each other, nor should you degrade your sister. I apologize Leah, I should not have said what I did."

Jake took a moment to stare at each of his brothers until they looked away before moving onto the next. When he reached Sam he spoke again "Sampson, I know this is difficult for you, I know that leading without the libiti taxilit of Alpha takes tremendous effort. You have led us well, you will continue to lead us until it is time for me to take the reins, I have no fight with you Brother, I am proud to follow and learn from you."

Sam held Jake's gaze and nodded before saying "Alright fuckers, Quil, you're on patrol till the morning, you're taking your shift tonight and Leah's midnight run for fucking with her. Now the rest of you get some clothes on and go home."

The pack grunted their acquiescence before walking off into the woods to head home. Their heads were hung low as if they'd just been scolded by an elder.

"Jake" Sam said walking up to him, passing me on his way. I wasn't sure if this was a conversation I was welcome in on so I headed back to the Rabbit to get my bag. I sat down in the driver's seat with my legs still outside, contemplating what I'd just seen. I know that had been Jake speaking but it was also…someone else, something else older and wiser then my Jacob was.

He was a good person but he was still a boy, the wisdom in the words he just spoke was directed to him as much as to the rest of the pack. I sat in the car and replayed what he said, so far he hadn't stepped in and taken over that I could see but what Edward had said was true, Jake was Alpha and as soon as we mated he would be officially in charge.

I had to wonder though, what of this other part of Jake, this older wisdom that was being channeled through him, would he still be my Jake? Would I be enough?

"Hey Hon, what are you doing out here?" Jake said as he walked up to me and squatted in front of me.

"I was just waiting, didn't know how long you and Sam would be."

"It wasn't a big deal, just pack stuff."

"No, I think that was Alpha stuff" I smiled at him.

"He just wanted to thank me for helping…you know…calm things down."

"You were amazing" I looked up at him and smiled, bringing my hand to his face. "You're going to be a good leader."

"Maybe…I guess we'll find out." He blushed softly. "It wasn't just me though, it's strange, sometimes…I feel like…I don't know…"

"Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"What's libiti taxilit mean?"

"It's a phrase from our legends; it means something that has like a really strong spirit power" he said quietly.

"And the Alpha has that."

"Yeah…I think….I think that's what the eye thing is maybe…the elders haven't seen it before but I've been getting my Dad to tell me some of the older stories and…it seems like they all have references to eyes like fire for the stronger spirits."

"Like you? My big strong spirit wolf?" I said leaning in to kiss him, making him purr in response.

"I guess so" he said into my mouth, bringing his hands to the top of my thighs, squeezing my muscles gently.

I moaned as I tasted his familiar flavor, loving the way his smell intensified in direct compliment to the intensity of his kiss. "Bells, let's go inside huh?" he whispered as I pulled away from him and brought my lips to his neck.

"What about studying? You need to pass that test…" I cooed into his skin.

"mmmm…yes…studying, that's….ghhh…that's a great idea" he groaned as I kissed along his artery, pulling skin and sweat into my mouth, allowing my hands to roam across his shoulders and upper arms forcefully.

"Come on" he pulled away from me and stood up, bringing his waist right in line with my eyes. I leaned forward and kissed his erection through the fabric of his jeans. I bit the protrudance lightly before pulling away and looking up at him. His eyes were a fierce golden yellow as he grabbed my upper arms roughly and ripped me out of the car.

"You are a dangerous woman" he said thickly.

"You have no idea" I smiled wickedly before pulling him back into the house and further into his room and kissing every inch of his skin I could find.

* * *

**I have a lot going on this weekend so I don't know when I'll get the next chapter up, but it will be at least 2 more before the little prologue up there comes to pass. So what do you think that's all about? What will happen next??**


	18. Chapter 18

"I'm sorry I have to work Bells" Charlie said as we sat eating breakfast at the table.

"It's Ok really"

"No it's not, Thanksgiving is supposed to be about family, but…to give the guys the night off with their families I have to man the station."

"I know Dad, really, it's fine, I'm going out to La Push anyway." I said hoping to sooth his guilt.

"Thanksgiving on the Reservation still seems odd to me."

"Really? I think it's kind of funny, you know, Emily told me they make sure that every single dish has corn in it, you know cause the Indian's brought Maze…"

"Your friends have a very strange sense of humor." My father shook his head and smiled.

"Your friends first" I laughed as I got up and took my cereal bowl to the sink. I had told Jake that I would come over this morning and help him and Billy make some kind of chicken corn casserole that Billy had found online.

"Well, look, Bella, just you know, behave yourself tonight ok? I know you and Jake have gotten pretty serious…" Charlie stammered not happy about the fact that I was spending the night out at the Black residence.

"Dad, please, we're not…it's not like that Ok? Besides Billy will be home."

"I know, otherwise I wouldn't have let you go, but…you know, men and their sons sometimes think a little different about these things then fathers do with their daughters…and…well you spend a lot of time with Jake either here or out there."

I sighed and leaned against the counter "Dad, please…can we not do this?"

"Bells, I'm sorry, I know, it's…uncomfortable to talk about these things with your father."

"Beyond…"

"Well, It's uncomfortable for me too" he fiddled with his spoon in the milk, not looking up at me "but I just want to make sure you're…being careful."

"Oh my GOD! Dad!"

"It's important Bells." He looked up at me.

"Look, I'm…it's not…God, Dad, I'm still a virgin ok?" I said staring intensely at my feet.

"Oh…Oh…Ok, that's good…I'm…Good."

"So can we do this another time maybe when I'm actually doing something worth talking about."

"Yeah yeah, that's good, but, you're on the pill right? That's…that's what we get at the pharmacy?"

"Yes, that's, that's what we get, Ok?" I stood up and took a step out of the kitchen "I'm going upstairs to throw up now Ok?"

"Yeah, right, Ok…I'm gonna just wash my mouth out with soap and head out." He laughed still not looking at me.

"Have a good day Dad."

"Yeah, you too" he said glancing up at me quickly before breaking out into a big smile. "That wasn't so bad, huh?"

"Um Yeah, yeah it really was that bad" I laughed as I walked out of the kitchen and headed upstairs to get my keys.

The afternoon was painful, between Jake's desperate attempts to try and "adjust" the recipe to make it more to his liking or Billy constantly rolling over my feet with his wheelchair. You'd think that having been in it for so many years he would have figured out how to navigate around people a little better.

"Will you two _please_ go find something else to do?"

"Bella, this is supposed to be from the Black family, not the Swan family." Jacob whined as I slapped his hand from adding cumin to the casserole.

"There's very little difference these days though I suppose" Billy smiled at us raising an eyebrow.

"It's the principle Dad."

"Nothing wrong with letting your woman take care of you" Billy called over his shoulder as he rolled out onto the porch, presumably to give us some time together.

"Hmmm, is that what I am?" I asked looking up at his muscular frame and strong jaw.

"What?"

"Your woman…am I yours?" I placed the casserole in the oven and began the timer.

"Not yet, but soon I hope" he smiled before leaning down and kissing me.

His mouth was soft and warm, slowly working its way against my lips until I reached out for him with my tongue. The electric shock that he sent through my body when our tongues met was so amazing it made me gasp and pull his body closer to mine. The need I had for him was growing every time we were together.

I wasn't entirely sure why we hadn't made love yet but the moment hadn't been right yet, we hadn't had the time or the privacy to take that step. As I moved my hands over his amazing shoulder blades and up into his hair I knew those obstacles were things I cared less and less about every day.

"Jake, I love you" I moaned as his lips moved over my jaw and down my neck. His hands were holding me securely, making me whimper with the desire to feel more or him.

"Bells, I…you're staying tonight right?"

"Yeah" I whispered letting my head fall back when the heat of his hand reached my breast.

"Ummm, cause…" he pulled back slightly and waited until my eyes refocused on him. "My Dad's going to stay at the Clearwater's tonight…we…we have the place to ourselves…"

"What? Why would he…oh…"

"I just didn't want you to be surprised or think…I expected anything."

"Jacob you most certainly do expect something" I smiled up at him with passion burning in my eyes "and so do I…"

His breath caught and he searched my eyes for any hint of hesitation before bringing his lips back down on mine and lifting me in the air against his body. "I love you so fucking much" he swore into my mouth before his tongue sought mine out. He commanded our kiss pushing me up onto the counter and claiming his place between my legs. I wrapped them around his waist, scooting against his erection, feeling it burn through the fabric of his fatigues and my jeans. The heat of him mounting in matching compliment to my need.

My fingers laced into his hair and I had to bite my lip to keep from crying out when he began attacking my neck. There was nothing gentle about Jacob's kiss today, it was all about passion and need. He dove into my skin and devoured it hungrily, consuming my flesh and setting my body on fire.

"Oh God…" I moaned as my nipples ached to be touched and my body rubbed unconsciously against his unusually clothed torso. "Jake, Baby…"

"Fuck Bells…" he said pulling his body away from mine, making me whimper against the invasion of cool air on my skin. He put his hands on the counter on either side of me and dropped his head as he stepped back further. "We…fuck…we have to stop now or…seriously…" he looked up at me with glowing eyes "We have to stop now or I'm not going to be able to stop and my Dad is right out there and we have to go soon…"

"Ok…" I said with a shaky breath. "But I don't want to."

"I don't either" he brought his lips to mine again softly "but for once we're going to have all night and we don't have to…worry ok?"

"I love you" I said softly, resting my head on his shoulder and breathing in the innate scent of Jacob, Pup and desire.

"I love you too honey" he stepped back and helped me off of the counter before leading the way out to the porch where we could sit with his Dad.

"So Jake…I've been thinking about Kim."

"Yeah?" he said, sitting down on the steps in front of where his father was doing the crossword puzzle.

"I know that Jared can't tell her about the pack and he's worried she'll freak out about the wolves right?"

"Yeah…" he eyed me skeptically.

"But she knows I know the wolves."

"What?" he said glaring at me.

"I told her about Pup before I knew…it was you…"

"Pup?" Billy chuckled to himself from behind us making Jake glare at his father.

"Oh"

"So, since she knows I know the wolves and I told her they were friendly and protectors maybe if you and Jared came together and met us like out on a walk someday…"

"I guess that wouldn't be breaking any rules."

"And then she would see how well you and I get along."

"Do you think you can manage to keep your hands to yourself?"

"What?"

"I just know how you can get with Pup…"

"Jake!" I squealed as Billy and Jake laughed heartedly.

"I think I've heard enough…" the kind old man guffawed before rolling himself back inside.

"Why did you _do _that!?!" I smacked Jake in the arm making him laugh harder.

"Your kinky side is not _my_ fault."

"You're so gonna pay for that."

"Promise?" he said his voice suddenly full of seduction.

"Now don't start that again" I smiled "So what do you think?"

"I'll talk to Jared…you don't think Kim would freak?"

"Not if I'm there…and really, I'd LOVE for her to be able to know what's going on. I know its selfish but I feel terrible having to lie to her for you guys."

"How do you think we feel?"

"Yeah, but you don't have a choice…I could tell her."

"Bells…"

"I won't! Don't worry, it's just hard no to."

"I know. Thanks" he said pecking me quickly on the cheek.

"Something's smoking in here!" Billy called out from the kitchen window.

"Crap!" I screamed running back inside the house only to find Billy laughing at my panicked face in the kitchen.

"You're right son, she is far too easy"

"I hate you both" I laughed as the timer for the casserole went off.

Despite their assistance I managed to make something that vaguely resembled the picture on the recipe. We wrapped it up in an insulated bag I had found in their pantry and headed to the beach. Jake had put together a chair on skis for his Dad so that he could push him along the beach. Walking together I could feel that we were a family, Billy and Jake bickered like old women about everything and nothing

By the time we got there the entire pack was already in attendance with their families. There was music playing and some kids were building sandcastles closer down to the water. The atmosphere was laid back and I was welcomed with more warmth then I could have hoped for. Leah especially seemed glad to see me and kept referring to me as "Sister" after pulling me into a tight embrace.

"Bella!" Kim called when she saw me. She ran over and pulled me into a clumsy hug with a big smile on her face.

"Hey Kim! What's got you so happy?"

"Nothing, I don't know, Jared's been really amazing the past week and everyone's here and it's just good to see you."

"It's good to see you, hey, I was wondering if you wanted to go for a hike with me tomorrow?"

"Oh, sure, let me check with Jared."

"No…this time, lets just go you and me Ok?" Leah looked over at me and raised her eyebrow, knowing that something was up. I just smiled at her and knocked into Kim with my hip. "You know, just some girl time"

"Leah, you want to come?" Kim said sweetly, still unsure about the tall athletic woman standing with us, but willing to try since both Jared and I seemed to be comfortable with her.

"Not this time…but thanks…I'd love to hear about it later though." She winked at me before walking over to where Paul was sitting.

I watched as she sat next to him and he threw his arm around her waist, kissing her shoulder. "What the…" Kim said as my eyes bulged out of my head.

"I totally didn't see that coming" I laughed looking around for Jake.

He was in some kind of argument with Sam further down the beach that made my stomach do flips. If tonight…if we mated tonight, what would that mean for the pack? For Sam?

I sighed before turning back to Kim. "So how's Jared? He's been good?"

"Yeah, he's been amazing. I hate the secret between us whatever it is but I can't seem to worry about it too much because he's just so…great for me."

"Yeah, I get that."

"How do you deal with not knowing?" she asked turning to me.

I hesitated, there was nothing about lying to Kim that I liked but if she knew that I knew what was going on that would just make things worse for her and then she and Jared would never have a chance to be together in this strange world we live in.

"It's not easy" I confessed being as honest as I could be with her. I took her hand and walked over to the table where the food was being set up by some of the older women.

The spread of food was both fantastic and hysterical. "Our main contribution to the great United States of America" Quil's grandfather said as he unveiled the corn intense delicacies. The usual mainstays that you would expect were there: corn bread, corn pudding, kettle corn, even corn on the cob. Some other less traditional dishes were there as well, including corn crusted chicken, corn soup, corn flan, Corn Maque Choux, Corn Tacos, Corn Tamales and other less appetizing selections, one of which included creamed corn and spam.

We ate and laughed, an extended family all bound together through the supernatural bond that held the pack together. All of the mothers felt like my mother, all of the children like my nieces and nephews. Watching the interactions between the pack was amazing. Since Jake's reprimand of them the other day they all seemed a little more grounded and connected. Even Quil managed to hold his tongue and be a lot of fun.

"So? What's up with Paul and Leah?" I asked Embry as I sat down next to him, still unable to interrupt Sam and Jake's animated conversation. I wasn't sure, but I had a pretty good feeling about the fact that things were about to change very soon.

"Oh that, yeah, who would have guessed huh?"

"Did they imprint?"

"Yeah! They've known each other their entire lives but the other day after Jake stripped us all down they've been different and now I'm pretty sure they're planning on mating."

"Already?"

"Yeah, I know right? But I guess when you know you know…"

"You haven't found anyone yet huh?"

"Nope, no one for me yet." He smiled "But that's ok, I'm happy with the bachelor lifestyle."

"Maybe you should imprint on Quil…" I suggested making him snort soda out his nose.

"Oh my God! Oh my God, that was awful and that _hurt"_

I laughed so hard I slipped down off of the log I was sitting on into the sand. I laughed so hard I started to see stars and worried that I might actually begin to hyperventilate.

"What's going on?" Quil asked walking over to us, throwing me into another hysterical fit of giggles. "Embry what did you do to her?"

"Nothing!" Embry squealed making heads turn in his direction.

"Oh my God…Oh…Oh Shit…" I said trying to catch my breath.

"There's something deeply wrong with you." Embry growled at me and narrowed his eyes.

"Seriously, what happened?" Quil asked again making me squeak in response.

"Nothing! Just, shit…" Embry leaned over and poured a handful of sand into my soda with a wicked smile. "You and Jake deserve each other" he murmured throwing sand into my hair.

"Oh man…" I sighed leaning back against the log and looking into the fire.

Jake returned to an exhausted me, an irritated Embry and a confused Quil. "What's up?" he asked scanning the scene.

"I have no fucking idea" Quil said.

"Quil Atera you watch your mouth!" Sue Clearwater called out.

"Too many fucking moms…" he muttered before turning to apologize.

Jake sat down on the log behind me and gathered me up into his arms "Having fun?" he asked holding me close.

"Yeah, I love it here. The beach, the pack…"

"Me too." He said whimsically.

"Everything Ok with Sam?" I turned and looked at him, wondering if he would tell me.

"Yeah, everything's good, we just have shit to sort through…"

"Yeah…I guess things will change now…"

"Mmmm…not really, Sam's good at what he does, even if I'm Alpha he'll always be someone the pack will listen to and who I'll be able to rely on."

"Good. I'm glad you guys are handling it well."

"Well, that's of course how we handle it after 45 minutes of yelling at each other." He ginned with a hint of sadness. "Really, I'm not sure I want to be in charge like this…"

"Well, you're going to be great, you know that right? I mean you already are."

"Thanks Bells." He kissed my head sweetly.

"I'm proud of you." I said looking up at him, love filling my very being and overflowing out of my pores.

As the dark surrounded us, the story telling began. Harry Clearwater, Leah's father, told the story of how the Quileute people were transformed from wolves by the great spirit Q'wati. I was so caught up in the story I didn't notice when the sun faded to black and the stars came out. The concept of a god who took care of his people and taught them right from wrong, setting the upside down Hoh's right side up again and leaving them better than they had been before his intervention was so new. This was not the God I had been raised to believe in, but it was one I could understand and follow.

The adults were drinking beer and even some of the pack was allowed to. Jake and I sat together in the sand, his arms stretched out behind him and I snuggled up against his side.

With Jake I never had to worry about the cool breeze coming off of the water. I noticed that everyone was instinctually huddled around one pack member or another. Warmth relaxing us from the fire and their bodies. A few of the children began to fall asleep, Emily held her niece Claire on her lap, stroking her hair as she drifted off. Sam looked at her so sweetly and I had a feeling that when Jake took the mantle of Alpha, he would soon be retiring to start their family.

Soon Harry finished the familiar story and the magic of the evening thickened. Billy's voice rose powerfully above the chatter that had begun after Harry stopped speaking, silencing us with barely a word. In this moment you could see the aura of power and majesty around him and it wasn't hard to believe that Billy was the son of the last Chief and Father of the next Alpha. His kindness and wisdom shone out of him brighter than any of the stars above us.

"Children and Elders alike listen to the tail of Dask'iya, the ogress who cries at Yaq'ilis creek. At the top of the Quileute River you can hear her weeping tears so hot they form the creek that runs out of her cave and settles into the Hot Springs." As Billy spoke Jacob sat up, paying more attention and smiling at me.

Kim whispered "I love this one" next to me before Billy continued on.

"You will know Dask'iya by the strange odor of decay and decomposition of death and corruption that she gives off and her fire red hair. Take care if you meet her in the market or on the shore as she steals children and takes her time to torture them, before devouring their bodies and souls."

I shivered listening, feeling an odd sense of _Déjà__vu _and foreboding.

"The fire haired goddess used to tattoo children driving the bone needle into their flesh over and over before thrusting it clear through the arm or chest, and so kill them. She would build a big fire and put rocks into the fire, which Dask'iya' used to broil the children." The fire before us seemed to burn brighter; suddenly Billy was surrounded by a halo of gold that seemed to burn from within. His voice rose and he sat taller, filling the space around the fire with his presence.

"One day she caught the intended bride of the chief, knowing that the power she would gain by ingesting this pure soul would be akin to that of Q'wati himself. She derided and tortured the girl, cutting her skin and swinging her by the feet over the cliff at head of the river. From left to right and back again. Dask'iya dangled her until she bored of the game and focused her attention on the consumption of this delicate flesh."

The children who were still awake gasped clinging to their mothers tightly still believing that love was enough to keep us safe in this world. In that way I guess I was still a child too, because while I leaned against Jacob, it was not from fear but love, and I couldn't have imagined how that love would ever hurt me.

Billy growled and lowered his voice to a menacing level, his intensity pulling anyone who wasn't fully engaged into the passion of the legend. "Then Dask'iya heated the stones which she was going to use to broil the girl who was standing by the fire, but she was unable to see because she was overcome with grief at never seeing her intended love again. Warming her hands against the fire the girl was visited by the spirit of the Thunderbird who possessed her body and gave her the libiti taxilit of a great warrior."

"In the meantime Dask'iya' was dancing and singing, saying that the fire was getting hot, and the rocks were about to be ready. The girl now infused with the power of the Great Spirit finally opened her golden eyes, shining with the power of one thousand thunderbolts. Dask'iya' kept on dancing and singing, dancing and singing, unaware of the threat that had only moments ago been her captive. When she was in front of the girl she pushed Dask'iya' into the fire. Burning slowly, her stench choked the air with its evil fumes."

The group gave out a collective sigh of relief as Billy continued. "After Dask'iya' burned completely, the girl went home and was wed that very night. As the true mate of the next leader she was praised and honored as the feminine divine."

The group sat in silence as we digested the end of the story. The children were warned against disobedience and wandering off alone while the adults took in the romance of the match. Quietly the bonfire was declared over and without a word Jake stood up and took my hand.

His touch was magical, pulling me further into the mythos of reservation life. I was consumed with the promise of mystical heroes and the power of love and the electricity of his touch did nothing to pull me back into reality. Jake looked at me deeply, his eyes shining yellow in the dark night, the power of his birthright radiating with the reflection of the fire behind me.

His kiss was soft and sweet. In many ways it would be considered chaste but the knowledge of where that kiss was leading spread through my body like a wild fire across a thirsty prairie. Our fingers interlaced as he pulled away and without a word to anyone we began the walk down the beach and back to his home.

The night was cool but I was unaware of anything other then the feeling of Jake's hand in mine and the beauty of the dark night. The sound of the ocean waves beating against the shore soothed my nerves and grounded me in this time and place. If allowed to think about the monumental-ness of what we were doing, both as a woman and for him as a wolf I might have been frightened or permitted myself to indulge in hesitation. But the sloshing of the water against the sand and the feeling of each grain as it moved between my toes brought a certain clarity.

Back at the house we didn't pause or talk, just headed back toward his bedroom. There was no pretence or hesitation as we stepped inside the small room and he brought me into his arms in a passionate kiss. Our lips worked together like they had been practicing this dance for the past ten thousand years. Every motion, every touch was perfection.

Closing the door behind him Jacob pulled away from me with a loving smile. He pulled off his shirt as I watched, taking in the sight of his body as I had so many times before. He was beautiful, taunt and refined his strength was a power that radiated from inside his very being, his perfect body only a physical manifestation.

He stood still with his eyes on me as I pulled my shirt off and quickly unclasped my bra. I had been naked with Jake before, we had very few secrets left between us, but something about undressing as he watched was intensely intimate.

Stepping forward he placed his hand on my waist and the other in the hair at the base of my neck. "Que Quowle" he whispered before pulling me against him and kissing me. I felt the familiar electricity pass between us but somehow something was different. I felt like there was a pulsing bringing us closer, as if his blood was my blood and his skin was my skin.

I could feel every millimeter where our flesh was in contact and while my head swooned from the power of his kiss my body absorbed each sensation slowing down time so that I could feel each precious touch. Slowly we walked back toward his small bed and when I felt it against the back of my legs we stopped.

My hands moved down his chest, pushing him slightly away, my skin screaming against the disconnection of our flesh. We kissed softly now, our lips unable to stop loving each other, but the ferocity was sated and my hands trailing down his body, feeling each muscle, was eager for its destination. Reaching down to his waist band I undid the button and zipper that held him in place and slipped the pants and boxers down over his rising erection and past his hips.

He stepped back away from me, our kiss momentarily broken as he stepped out of his pants. Standing before me, completely naked was Jacob Black. I had seen him without clothes on before, either because we were making out or because he had phased but somehow now it was like seeing him for the first time. His body gleamed in the moonlight. The contours and definition of his muscles taking my breath away. The soft flesh of his genitals was paler then the rest of him, and as I reached out to touch him, desperate to hold him in my hand he stepped back with a smile.

He looked at me silently, passion and desire coming off of him in waves and raised one eyebrow. Without a word I acquiesced and reached down to my jeans. Slowly I undid the top button, his eyes now trained on what I was revealing to him. I slid the zipper down and held the opening apart for a moment, revealing my underwear underneath. Before lowering the pants though I allowed my fingers to slide over the satin material down into the denim and feel the greedy desire within.

He hissed as I let my head roll back. I stood there for a moment touching myself, allowing myself a stolen moment of pleasure as he watched my naked torso shiver with my mounting release. I was too far gone to stop, the feeling of my hand hard against my core was building me toward a powerful eruption but before I got there Jacob pulled my hand away roughly and pushed me back onto his bed.

"Mine…" he growled through his snarling mouth before kissing me roughly, thrusting his tongue into my mouth and taking what he needed. His hands were everywhere at once, his flesh burning against me, branding me as his. The scent of his desire swelled as he pushed my jeans and underwear down. I shimmied out of them, kicking the remaining barrier between us away from me roughly.

We laid there for a moment, his head buried into my neck, my arms around his back breathing shakily. I felt his body vibrating against me, his cock twitching with desire, his breath hitched and heavy. He didn't move, savoring the contact of our bodies completely ready for each other.

I rubbed my hands down his back and arched myself up against him. He pulled his weight back and up onto his arms before looking down at me. Holding his gaze I opened my thighs, allowing his nakedness against my soft folds. He moaned and leaned in to kiss me again, sucking in my lower lip as I bent my knees and smiled into him. I lifted my hips to rub against him, displaying my readiness.

"Bells…" he whispered before deepening our kiss. He leaned his weight onto one arm as his other hand gripped my breast, rubbing his thumb across my nipple. I pulled his lip into my mouth as I ran one hand around his hip and between us. He hissed into my mouth as I wrapped my hand around his softness. He was so hard and so velvety soft, the thickness of him was intimidating but I knew every contour of him, every vein and ridge like it was my own. I wanted to feel him in every way.

Pulling on him I urged him toward me. His eyes closed as I placed his tip against my wet opening. "I love you" I said clearly as he rocked his hips into my hand, sliding along as I guided him into me.

"Ohhh…" I moaned at the burning pleasure of his head entering me, spreading me around his girth. I pulled my hand back, allowing his hips access to the rest of me. I held on around his back, pushing my finger tips into his muscles as he rocked forward slightly, making us both exhale loudly.

The feeling of him inside me, even just this small amount was killing me. I felt like I was being ripped in two from core to heart, ripping my insides and exposing my very soul. His movements were small and controlled and I could see the effort it was taking for him to be gentle in his yellow eyes. Each time he pushed against me he went only so far until my tightness fought him and then he pulled back slowly.

The love he was expressing to me through his body was tangible, as if we were surrounded by a glowing orb of adoration. He pushed further each time, opening me to him as I held on and begged for more.

"Bella, oh, fuck…" he moaned as his thrusts became deeper and more insistent, pushing me further into the ecstasy of our love making. I could feel myself relaxing and my body loosening in anticipation of his next thrust. Soon he was far enough in that he could feel my barrier, my unbroken seal of virginity. He rocked in and out of me coming up against it again and again until I was begging for him to push through and take me.

"Jake, please…" I moaned, writhing underneath him, pulling on his back to bring him closer to me. He opened his eyes and looked down at me, pausing before thrusting quickly and forcefully into me, breaking me open and spilling my virginity out between us.

We screamed together as my pain and his pleasure intermingled. His mouth found mine and he was rocking in and out of me faster and deeper now, unable to hold back. The burning inside of me swelled as my passion mounted until I couldn't tell the difference between them. I pushed up off of the bed meeting his thrusts and forcing him further into me.

My arms were wrapped around his back, gripping his shoulders as I lost myself in the deepening madness of love. The bliss coursing through my body, igniting my skin crying for release made my tears fall and my breath stop.

He arched back, looking down at me with his eyes ablaze with fire and love, the air was quivering around us as the magic of our union came to its natural fruition. I felt the sweetness of his body inside of mine, joining us and connecting us forever. "Do it" I said looking up at him as he snarled in ecstasy, his teeth pushing out from between his lips.

"Pup! Do it!" I screamed as his body slammed against me harder now. I brought my right hand up to his face, reaching for him needing him to mark me, make me his. The instinct to belong to him was overwhelming as the scent of his desire built and the feeling of his length stroked me bringing me to completion killing me slowly.

As my hand was about to touch him, I arched, pushing up off of the bed, forcing him further into me then before making us both scream.

And then I was cold, cold and alone and empty. Jake was crouched on the other side of the room, a look of panic and pain on his face. His face was contorted in hatred and confusion.

"Jake?"

"Get out!" he growled not moving.

"What…Jake, what's going on?"

"Bella, Get out!"

"No! No! What's happening, Jake Please don't…what is this!" I scrambled over to him, trying to reach out but he backed further away, his face unrecognizable through his snarl.

"You! You smell like a leech! Bella, your wrist… You fucking _one of them!_...I can't… fuck… Get _OUT!" _he roared as the air around him vibrated and I saw him start to phase. I knew that if he changed while I was here with him I wouldn't survive his instinct to attack.

I gathered my clothes with tears streaming not looking at him as he hugged the wall.

"Jake…" I said from the doorway, my tears and pain as exposed as my nudity.

"No… just… go…" he grunted through his concentration to maintain control without looking at me before I ran outside to my car naked and destroyed.


	19. Chapter 19

**Ok My Darlings - see I didn't leave you with that cliffy for too long. I know many of you weren't happy with the last chapter, but I hope that you can see that there is a reason for this and that I am going somewhere for them, I promise. Jake and Bells forever, there's no doubt about that with my stories is there? Just a question of how much they have to go through to get there.**

**Please forgive all the spelling and grammer errors! God, it seems like the more into the chapter I am the worse my writing is. Thank God for HopeAlways! So, here's what happens next...**

* * *

How could one small section of the body betray the rest of me? How was it possible that the scar that indicated that I was in fact still alive was my undoing? I looked at it and stroked the icy skin, feeling the contour of the scar tissue that outlined each individual tooth that had sunk into me. James' determination to kill me had been thwarted but the lingering touch of his attack had branded me as enemy.

I sat in the Rabbit still only wearing my tee-shirt replaying the events of the night over and over in my mind until the sun peaked over the horizon. My body was frozen in place because no matter what had happened with Jake, no matter how he had looked at me in that moment my love for him was etched in my bones. Wherever he was would forever be my home.

I knew better then to think we could overcome this. I knew better then to think the shadow of his offence wouldn't forever cloud any vision I had of the two of us together. I was alone, completely alone with the ache in my chest that burned and consumed all hope I had for a happily ever after.

"Bella?" my father's voice broke through my silence through the driver's side window. "Bells are you Ok?" he asked but I didn't move. I couldn't find words to possibly express what had happened to him. My tears feel as my reality disintegrated before me.

"Bella Baby…" he said and my heart broke anew with the concern in his voice. I wept painfully feeling the full extent of my loss throughout my body and soul. The very day I become a woman, I become a widow. "Come on, unlock the door!" he yelled, knocking on the window, but my body was shaking uncontrollably, wearing only my tee-shirt in the late November frost.

"Bella!" Charlie yelled before going over to his car and getting a tool to pick the lock of the Rabbit. He pulled my unclothed shivering body out of the car and into his arms. "Bella, what happened?" he asked before he took in the full extent of my devastation. My father picked me up and carried me into the house and up to my room.

Laying me down on my bed he pulled the comforter back as I shook and sobbed. "Ok…Ok now Bells…" he soothed tucking the covers up over my body. He lay down on top of the covers next to me and wrapped his arms around me in an unexpected display of physical affection. He was still in his uniform and couldn't have been comfortable as he held me until I finally fell asleep.

I woke to the sound of my cell phone ringing on my bedside table. Reaching over I could feel the ache between my legs reminding me of everything that I had lost.

"Hello?"

"Bells, thank God…"

"Jake?"

"Yeah, yeah it's me…are you Ok?"

"Fuck you" I said before shutting the phone and rolling over to go back to sleep. My tears returned and I held myself, holding my insides together listening to the incessant ringing of my phone until I fell into a fitful sleep.

When I woke up later in the day the sun was high and the smell of banana bread wafted through the air. I pulled on some sweatpants and snuck downstairs to find my father pouring tea and slicing banana bread. "My favorite" I smiled weakly from the doorway.

"I remembered this is what your mother always made when you were sick." He said softly.

"Yeah…but she never managed to do it without filling the house with smoke."

"No, I guess I did a little better then that, the ends are a little crispy though."

"Thanks Dad."

"Yeah." He said looking down at the floor between us awkwardly. The phone ringing saved us from the questions he was going to eventually ask. It squawked next to me demanding to be answered. I sighed and moved heavily, as if even the muscles in my arm were too tired, too broken to deal with him.

"Hello?" I said.

"Bella Please!" Jake said quickly "Please talk to me!"

"No…" I said my hands shaking barely able to hold onto the phone my voice breaking with the effort of speaking to him.

"Jacob, this is Charlie Swann" my father said as he jerked the phone out of my grasp. "Can you explain to me why I found my daughter naked and freezing in the driveway when I got home from work this morning? Or why she hasn't stopped crying since I had to carry her inside?"

I stood frozen leaning against the wall for support as I listened to Jake's voice on the other end of the phone. I couldn't make sense of the words but from my father's reaction I was sure that he wasn't faring well.

"I don't think that's a good idea…" Charlie said. "No…Look Son if you come near this house today I'm going to have to shoot you myself…No….No…Do I need to drive out there and force some answers out of you?...Did you hurt her?" he accused.

"No Dad" I said loudly "No…"

"One of you needs to tell me what happened!" Charlie demanded.

"It's…it's none of your business". I said looking at his chest, unable to meet his eyes "Jake didn't…do anything like what you're thinking Ok…just…here…let me talk to him." I reached out for the phone, half expecting my father to refuse to give it to me. When he did I stood holding it looking at it like it was some kind of Alien artifact.

"J..Jake?" I was finally about to say into the phone.

"Bella, fuck, thank God, please will you just listen I think I know…"

"It doesn't matter." I whispered, unwilling to hear his newest round of rationalizations and excuses.

"What?"

"It doesn't matter, don't…don't call again Ok?" I hung up before sliding down the wall and collapsing once again into a puddle of pain and devastation.

My father took care of me all day, keeping his distance and thankfully holding back all of the questions I was sure he was burning to ask. Instead he took care of me by bringing me things like banana bread and tea, or the newest W magazine from the gas station when he couldn't think of anything else to do. Charlie may have his limitations but how much he loved me was not one of them. By the end of the day I was exhausted in a way I didn't think I would ever recover from.

The weekend passed the same and I allowed Charlie to keep my cell phone with him and yell at Jacob all he wanted whenever he called. I had nothing to say to him. There was no coming back from what had happened between us. This time there were no more second chances.

My heart was broken and my body was wallowing in its misery unwilling to speak or move for anyone or anything; at least until Sunday when Kim showed up at my door. Charlie let her inside before leaving for his shift, hoping that a visit from a friend might help bring me out of the depths to which I had fallen.

"What is going on?" Kim asked quietly when she walked into my room.

"Nothing."

"Bella, come on, we had plans and you never called and when I called Jake to find out where you were he just started swearing about some kind of wolf or something."

"Yeah…that…"

"So…what's going on?"

"Jake and I…I guess we broke up…" I choked out pulling my arms around my middle, hoping that somehow I could hold the pieces of my soul together and keep from spilling out onto the floor.

"What? No, that's not even possible." She said coming to sit on the bed next to me. "I mean like that's inconceivable, I was sure you two were going to like get married and have babies and do the whole American Dream thing!"

"We…we were…I was…but…we can't."

"Why? What did he do Bella?"

"Nothing."

"He must have done something."

"He…I'm just…I'm just not good enough…" I said before falling into her lap and sobbing. I thought I would have run out of tears by now. I thought for sure there must be a limit on the amount of moisture one body can expel in 24 hours. But it seems I was wrong. I was wrong about so many things it was getting impossible to keep track of what was the most recent offence.

Kim smoothed my hair and held me as I cried out my pain. There was no one I could talk to, no one who could possibly understand. I was caught between two worlds, the world everyone else lived in and the world of the supernatural into which I was only an honorary inductee, unable to hold my own.

"Yip!" I heard softly outside of my window, making me jump.

"No…" I moaned as my tears increased and the churning in my chest increased, squeezing my heart in a painful vice. Kim stood up and walked over to the window, looking down into the yard where a large red and white wolf was lying with his nose covered with his paws.

"Bella…remember when you said the wolves were nice?" she said tentatively.

"Yeah…"

"There's one out there…looks like he's…waiting for you…but…that's not…possible right?"

"Tell him to go away." I shook my head. Why would he come here, why would he come here as Pup…It only increased the pain with the realization that I was not only losing Jake but Pup, the two…one…whatever he was he was the most important thing in my life.

"What?"

"Just lean out the window and tell him to go away."

"Bella, that's insane."

"Please Kim, Please, I…I can't take talking to him right now."

"It's a wolf Bella." She said incredulously.

"Look again" I sighed knowing that Jake wouldn't be able to have a silent conversation with me under the current circumstances.

Sure enough, when Kim looked out the window a second time she saw Jacob standing there in his cut off Jeans. He was exhausted and drawn, his body bent in supplication. "Oh my God…" she whispered before turning back to me. "What the fuck? Is that…Jake?"

"Yes…Please Kim..." I begged.

She shook her head, suspending her disbelief as she pulled open the window and I could hear his voice wafting through the air, reaching out to capture me again. "Bells, please, can I come up."

"She doesn't want to talk to you!" Kim called leaning out the window.

"Kim! Oh…ahhh…Fuck!"

"So this is your 'job'?"

"Fuck…Can we…where's Bella?"

"She's sobbing on the floor, what the fuck did you do?!?" Kim said with more attitude then I had expected from her.

"Back up." He commanded.

"What?"

"Back up, I'm coming in." he called before vaulting himself up and into the window, barely missing and knocking over a shocked Kim.

"What the fuck is going on?!" she demanded but Jake ignored her, walking over to where I was falling apart.

"Bella Please…" he said kneeling before me "Please, I'm sorry; I don't know…I shouldn't have said that."

"What did you say?" Kim accused as she came to gather me up into her arms.

"Can we have a minute?"

"No, no Jacob you can't! Do you see what you've done to this girl? And you're what, some kind of shape shifting X-File? I think that I'm staying right here."

"Fuck!" he yelled standing up.

"Get Out." I said softly making him turn back to me.

"No, Bella listen I think, it's just an instinct ok? The scar, it just surprised me! We were…were so close…" he looked at me with yellow rings and tears in his eyes "I can…I'm sure I can control it."

"Get Out" I said "the words should be familiar." I sat up and looked straight at him "I hear them echoing inside my head whenever I close my eyes."

"I didn't…I was trying to protect you, but I think, if I just concentrate it won't be an issue."

"So you think you can just grin and bear it? Think about baseball while you make love to me. Fuck you Jacob." I screamed, my tears streaking down my face, my pain pooling around my feet, threatening to pull me under.

"This isn't my fault!"

"I know that!" I screamed standing up, my tears falling fast and my pain pulling the muscles of my face together. "I know that but it doesn't matter. Here!" I said shoving my wrist into his face making him growl and snarl. "Here, this is part of me! Ok, I can't cut it out; I can't undo what was done to me!"

He backed away shrinking from the scar while trying to regain his composure. "I know that Bells, we can work this out."

"How?" I demanded standing in front of him holding the cold flesh of my wrist in my other hand wishing it could freeze me in time and make this moment disappear. If there were werewolves and monsters maybe there was a fairy godmother somewhere who would swoop in and save me from the slow decomposition of my heart.

"I don't know, but it didn't used to bother me, it didn't use to smell so strongly, something happened the other night…" he admitted lowering his head ashamed of his behavior.

"So get out, go find someone else who isn't damaged to make you Alpha, I can't do it. I'm not good enough, you made that clear last night and I don't need you calling here and acting like this can be salvaged."

"Bella, that's not what this is about, I don't care about Alpha." He pleaded, reaching for me.

"My ass Jake. You do, you want that as much if not more then you want me and I can't…I can't just go through that again so that you can run off and play war games with Sam and the guys!"

"Please. Bella, I'm begging you, I'll find a way. All I want is to be with you. I'll, I'll stop phasing, I'll give up Alpha, we can just leave all that behind, we can leave, run, find somewhere else where the instinct to protect the reservation isn't so strong."

"I don't believe you" I sobbed, my heart ripping apart with a new fresh break. "You might want that, you might even believe that you could do it, but you can't. You know it and I know it so please, stop torturing me. Stop calling and trying to make this better. There's nothing you can do."

"I won't stop fighting for you Bella." His tears spilled over his eyes.

"And I'm never going to be anything other then I am Jake. I'm damaged, scarred and tainted."

"No…" his eyes filled with tears "You aren't Bella, this isn't your fault."

"Yes it is. I should have been with you when I had the chance, but I was too scared to see it, and now…I've lost everything!"

"No Honey, Please. I love you. I'm right here!" he reached towards me bringing his warm hands out.

"No!" I pulled back terrified of his touch "I love you too Jake, but please, just…leave."

"No." he said pulling his hands back to his sides. "No…I can't…"

"Jacob" Kim stood up and walked over to him, breaking the line that was holding us together. "You need to go; nothing's going to get fixed here. I have no idea what's going on but her heart is broken and something you did, intentional or otherwise, is to blame. Now, I don't want to have to call Charlie to come home with his shotgun and force you to leave, but I will. Do you understand me?"

"Bella…" Jake groaned, looking around Kim's frame.

"No, Jake, don't talk to her, don't even fucking look at her. Look at me and understand that you need to leave. I will call you later if you can come back, but for now you need to leave."

"I…" he choked.

"Go." Kim stood her ground and I watched as his head dropped, his tears suspended in time as his pain took a moment to regroup.

"I love you…so much Bella…I'm…so sorry" he wept before climbing out of my window and phasing before even reaching the ground. I sobbed openly, the pain in my chest squeezing me so hard that I couldn't breath or think, I didn't see when Kim came back to sit by me and rocked my heaving body in her arms. All I could hear was the tortured howling from the woods behind my house.

"Kim…can we get out of here…" I said with a cracked voice once I had cried all I could.

"Yeah Bella, let's let's get you cleaned up and go out…wanna see a movie?"

"No…I have something else in mind." I said quietly.

* * *

**So where is Bella going? Can they ever make it back together? How?**


	20. Chapter 20

"Bella oh my God! I'm so fucking glad you called me. When I phased this morning and saw what happened I almost ripped his furry throat out! That fucking…hold on… _what Ma… yeah… its Bella… ok yeah, I'll tell her_

"Leah…"

"Hey, yeah, My mom wanted me to tell you that the next time she sees Jacob she's going to rip him a new one, that's my mom though, you know, we girls, we gotta stick together, or those fuckers will take every chance to…

"Leah…hey, it's…"

"Sister, let me tell you, I know what it's like, did you know Sam and I used to date, yeah, it was a long time ago, but that fucker made every fucking mistake that a man could possibly make.

"Leah, stop, for just a …

"Seriously Bella, when I saw what that fucking dog did…

"Leah! Shut UP!"

"What?"

"It's not Bella!"

"What?"

"It's Kim Ok?"

"Oh FUCK! Why are you on Bella's phone?"

"It's ok; I know all about the wolves now, Jake kind of…what's the word you used? Phased in front of me."

"Oh shit he's going to be in SO much trouble! Fuck, that mutt is just fucking up left and right isn't he?"

"Yeah, I think he really is, he's out back at Bella's right now howling his fucking head off."

"Fuck…"

"Bella's in the shower but then…she wanted me to ask you something."

"Yeah? Anything, what can I do, seriously, I'm so fucking pissed right now, does she need a vamp killed or something? That would be awesome, especially since Jake's too strong for me to actually hurt…so I can't really do anything to him, what about one of the Cullens? I've been just itching to take that big blonde bitch out…"

"Wait, what?"

"What what?"

"A vamp? Like Vampire?"

"Oh…you didn't…FUCK…I thought you said you knew!"

"Is EVERYTHING real?"

"Pretty much babe, sorry." Leah laughed gently.

"Fuck…"

"Yeah, that's how I felt too before…well…you know…"

"Wow…I think…I don't think I wanna know anymore…"

"You ok?"

"I guess, it's…better that you and Bella know…and haven't gone insane or anything."

"Yeah, I'm glad you found out although I wouldn't necessarily agree on the not insane part. Now we can get some girl representation. So, what does Bella need? Seriously…"

* * *

We pulled up in front of the old cabin an hour later. The noise at my house was deafening with Jake throwing a tantrum in the forest. I could only hope he would stop before my father got home and decided to go hunting. The cabin was out in the woods of La Push, with no electricity and only an outhouse for a toilet. None the less it was beautiful, perfectly simple and nostalgic. When the woman who lived there stepped out of the house to greet us with her long silver hair pulled back into two long plaits running down her back in the traditional Quileute fashion I was transported to a time when white people were only a passing concern to the thriving culture that lived here.

Leah stepped out of the woods in her sports bra and shorts and pulled me into a tight embrace. "Leah…too…tight…I need to…breathe…"

"Sorry Bella, I just…fuck…I just love you Sister."

"I know Leah, I love you too." I turned to the woman who was standing on her porch watching us patiently. "Emily Young is inside, she told me you were coming." The woman said unceremoniously before turning around and walking back inside.

"Bella…are you sure about this?" Leah turned and said quietly.

"Yeah…"

"Really? I mean, this isn't like…She does this in the traditional style and it's brutal…it hurt me and I have the whole supernatural healing and pain tolerance thing going for me." Her eyes displayed genuine concern and apprehension.

"It's Ok Leah, it…that doesn't matter, I need to do this."

Kim walked up behind me and put her arm around my waist. "If you think this'll help Bella, we're here with you Ok?"

I nodded and sighed before walking up into the cabin. Inside the air was thick with incense and dust. Emily and the older woman were sitting at the kitchen table, holding hands. Emily's eyes were closed while the woman spoke softly. We waited by the door, not wanting to disturb whatever the intimate moment before us was about.

"And so it will be…" the old woman finally said before dropping Emily's hand and training her eyes on me. "So you are the little Pale Face who broke our Alpha's heart."

"Not exactly" I said holding her gaze. This was a test. I was not entitled to what I was asking for but it was something…I needed.

"Not exactly" she chuckled before standing up and going to one of her kitchen cabinets. "Well sit down missy, you aren't going to want to do this standing up." He back was turned to me and Emily smiled before evacuating her seat and offering it to me.

The woman sat down again, two bowls, some bottles filled with vibrant color and a small wooden needle. "You are not a warrior" she said matter-of-factly.

"No, but, I am…I have been hurt by your enemies and by your Alpha. To survive this…I must be a warrior of some kind. Right?"

"No child that is not what it means to be a warrior. Leah Clearwater, she is a warrior, she is ferocious and full of the spirit of Q'woli. She protects our land, our people, she is grounded in the earth and the being…you…you are a warrior of another kind. A warrior of the soul. It is a much more dangerous and painful path, are you certain this identity is something you wish to be branded with forever."

"Do I have a choice?" I said holding out my wrist, making her shrink back from the cold scar and look at me. I smiled sadly waiting for her to look up from the scar that had almost killed me…twice. Once threatening my body, now threatening my soul.

"Hmmm…" she reached out and held my forearm, carful not to touch the dead skin on my wrist. We sat there for an impossible time, until the room faded away and my friends who stood behind me were only a chorus of synchronized breath. The woman and I communed over heartbreak and loss, the life she had lived and the pain which was all that spanned before me for the rest of mine.

I was broken, I was a shell of a person, nothing more then a hollowed out existence with nothing to live for. But here I was trying to live. How could I move on from something that was destined to be? Jacob was my natural path; he was my soul mate, my whole life's existence was meant to fall into place with him beside me, but that was gone and I was left here waiting to disappear.

Without a word the woman traced the scar on my wrist with one finger, feeling the chill of death radiating out from me. "You walk half with the spirits now, your body was meant for more, it was meant for the pack, the spirit wolf, but death grips you, holding you tightly. You must decide which world to walk in, or to straddle the two, making you something more, something other then you are now."

"So child, tell me, tell me without thinking, what is it you want, life or death."

"Neither…All I want is Jake…and I can't…"

She studied my face for signs of insincerity and finding none she dropped my arm before opening the bottles and pouring the thick liquid into the wooden bowls before me. She took her time spreading out the items she had brought with her and hummed to herself something ancient and full of sorrow. Kim came and sat on the floor next to me while Emily pulled up another chair and Leah placed her hands on my shoulders. We were in the midst of creating our own ancient ritual. One that had been repeated for generations and which we were inventing as we went.

"The spirit Q'wati transformed the Q'woli into the first Quillayutes. His spirit taught the people how to live, how to walk, how to grow food, how to be the strongest most noble men of the land." The old woman dipped her wooden needle into the bowl full of black liquid as she spoke in an even monotone, her story telling was nothing like that at the bon fires, this wasn't just the cadence of ritual, this was the actual power of the words we heard, this was how the worthy were initiated. "The wolf is the warrior and he is held in the hearts of all Quillayutes" she pierced my skin suddenly and firmly, drawing blood.

The pain was shocking so much more complete then I had imagined, threatening to pull me out of my determination, but I had a feeling that I was too far in, nothing I did or said was going to reverse the trajectory I was on now. I grinned through the pain and whimpered only when I could not help it. If I wanted to be a warrior, this was my second test.

The sun shifted in the sky and the candle on the table flickered as she burnt the end of her needle in its flame, securing the blood into the flesh of the wood, making it a tool meant only for me.

"But Q'wati is only one spirit of our people" Emily's eyes flickered into me in surprise that I would be the recipient of this information. "The universe itself, the sun and moon, they are the true deities, the spirits only their messengers" she began piercing my skin quickly now, alternating between dipping the needle in the ink and occasionally smearing the black concoction direction on my wounds with her bare hands. She worked without thinking and without looking. "The meaning of the wolf is deep and powerful but the raven and the monsters of the woods all have their place in our legends. Even the thunderbird who carried with her the nourishment and salvation of our people is revered."

The pain in my wrist was mounting and soon it was impossible to decipher the ink from my blood as both dripped down my arm and across her wooden table. The needle pricks blurred together as the numbing of my heart extended out and took control of managing the pain in my wrist.

"The elders, they have made the mistake for generations that the T'ist'ilal is male, that the Great Spirit sent a male spirit to save us, but if you listen, if you know the story as we do, as we sitting at this table know in our bones, then you know that the Thunderbird is female. She did not bring power or protection, she brought a whale which would sustain and nourish her people. She came with a cry from the heavens a bellowing crack from the sky that announced her presence, because we women, we do not enter the world silently and we do not bring life into the world without thunder and pain."

Roughly the woman pulled a stained and dirty cloth across my wrist, making me wonder for a moment about the possibility of infection but before the thought was fully formulated she reintroduced needle to flame and attacked my raw burning skin anew. This time she dipped it into red ink that mirrored the color of my blood. Again she did not look at her work, allowing the ancestral knowledge of her people and her life to guide her hand.

She looked deep into my eyes as she worked and continued in that same monotone which pounded against the shores of my consciousness, pulling me further into her world and not allowing my mind to succumb to the mounting pain. She was stronger then she looked and held me firmly as she worked, no involuntary jerk or move could dislodge her grasp, no matter how sudden.

"You will not receive the marking of the wolf as the pack has, as Leah Clearwater behind you has, you are not a warrior; you are the nourishment and salvation of our leader. The path before you is dark and full of pain, but it is that way for a reason, as the boys of our people must go out as adolescents and return to us as men, you must go out into the world merely a girl and return a goddess."

I looked down at the black circle on my wrist that masked the scar that had branded me as something other so completely that Jake's wolf couldn't reconcile his love for me. The circle was thick and dark and the marking was raw. I could see that this was much deeper then a modern tattoo, nothing like having a butterfly sketched on my ankle, this marking was deep and etched in my very being. On a cellular level this Thunderbird was bound to me.

As the old woman dropped my hand and I began to speak Emily put one hand on my leg to silence me and held the other out to the old woman, her right wrist exposed. I turned to look at her and she faced me with a look of determination, as if she thought I would fight her on this. Instead I smiled and took the hand resting on my leg into mine. Kim remained on the floor next to me and Leah moved to place one hand on Emily's shoulder while keeping the other on me. We were bound, the four women in this room were bound in pain and love and life. No matter what happened from here on the four of us were a pack of our own.

The Sun fell behind the trees but the passing of time did not faze us. We stayed silent in solidarity now, our sisterhood bonding us more firmly then any words could express. Emily, and then Leah and then Kim all received the Thunderbird tattoo on the inside of their right wrists. Kim may not have been imprinted or mated, she may never be, but for us it didn't matter, we were the women of the tribe, we were the mothers and sisters held together in our common understanding of pain and heartbreak. From here we would go on to carry each other through the pain of loss, the agony of childbirth, the insanity of grief.

The old woman used one needle to mark us all, connecting our bodies as well as our spirits. The girl who had attended public school and watched afterschool specials in me for so many years railed against that in my mind, the sharing of blood, the sharing of needles something that was ingrained in me as bad. Somehow though, here, this connection was made deeper. A blood bond sealing our sisterhood.

When she was done she placed one more needle prick in each of us, just above the tattoo, leaving a small black circle which to anyone else would look like a freckle, but to us, was the final branding from a needle which had been cured with our combined blood.

We left late into the night, our wrists wrapped in cheese cloth. The woman did not bid us goodbye or offer any words of wisdom, she simply kissed us each on the forehead before closing the door and resuming her life as if we had never come to her home. The four of us stood on her porch still in physical contact, either grasping shoulders or holding hands, finding it impossible to move apart.

Far in the distance we heard a wolf howl and Leah smiled softly. "Paul…" she said with the dreamy voice of a woman in love.

"Go on Leah…Kim's going to take me home now and I'm sure Sam is wondering where Emily is." I smiled and released my hold on them heading toward the car without another word.

Kim and I drove in silence, spent from the emotions of the day. When she brought me home the house was dark, Charlie still at the station for a few more hours. "Thanks Kim." I said, leaning in to hug her.

"Bella…should I…should I call Jared?" she said tentatively, not sure what the events of the day meant for her.

"No Kim, you should just drive over there. Go and tell him you know and tell him honestly if you can handle it or not…if you can…jump in Kim, don't lose him like I've lost Jake." Somehow I managed to say this without tears.

"What happened with Jake?"

I shook my head and looked out at the moon. "Nothing that will happen to you and Jared, I'll explain it all sometime…when I've had more sleep, but…don't worry about it Kim, it's not about the wolf ok? It's about me, me and Jake. The biggest mistake I made was not trusting what I felt for him."

She sighed and looked out her own window, lost in processing all of the things she had seen and experienced today. The burning itch of my wrist screamed at me reminding me again that I was only human. "Night" I said, opening my car door and stepping out into the cool night air.

I hugged my arms around myself and watched as she drove down the road, back to the reservation and into her future. I was happy for her, chances were tonight she would imprint and soon they would mate. Then it would be Sam and Emily, Leah and Paul, Kim and Jared and me…what would my place be in my Sisters' lives. Jake couldn't go anywhere, he was Alpha and someday he would take that role…with someone else at his side…and how would I fit in. A pale face with a broken heart bound forever to the mythos of La Push and the monsters who dwelled within.

I could feel his eyes on me, standing in the dark. When I turned there was a large red head peaking around the corner of the house. "Yip?" he called softly. I smiled and walked toward him, only to have him disappear behind the house. Rounding the corner I saw him lying next to the steps at the back deck, his nose covered with his paws.

My tears threatened to return, but somehow they didn't: my fatigue and resignation outweighing my sorrow, at least for today.

"Hi Pup" I breathed as I sat on the steps next to him heavily.

_Whine_

"I know Baby…I know…" gazing out into the tree line the darkness was thick and heavy. Even so close to the forest it was impossible to make out one tree from the next the night was so densely wrapped around them. Pup's nose pressed against my hand and I laid it on his head, distractedly scratching his ear.

"Pup…what are we going to do?" I sighed, my tears finally falling softly. He whined again and pressed his body closer against my legs, as if he was trying to crawl inside of me and sooth our pain. His large head lifted and his chocolate brown eyes looked deep into mine full of love and regret. He whined again softly and nuzzled his head down onto my lap.

His oversized head rested on my legs, pushing in against my stomach gently. Our silent stolen moment of nostalgia breaking us both further. I dreamed of the days when I would make him lunch and sit out here, talking to him for hours or reading to him. I remembered the solace he had offered me, loving me and giving me time to know his wolf so that I could love his entire being.

We sat in the darkness, crying gently as I scratched his head. We sat together, communing in our pain taking comfort in being with the only other creature on the planet who understood the extent of our despair. I found solace in his warm fur and the silence that surrounded us.

"Pup?" he lifted his head and stepped back so that he could look at me.

_Whine?_

"How can we…can we fix this?" My tears blurred my vision as he dropped his head and looked at the ground before shrugging his giant shoulders in a human gesture that would have been funny on his form if it wasn't so tragic.

"I don't know how either…"

_Sigh_

"I love you" he lifted his eyes again in hope "but…we can't…we can't keep doing this to each other."

_Whine_

I stood up, pulling on a strength of character I didn't know I had "Go Jake ok? Don't stand out here and howl and make this harder…Go and…I don't know…move on…find someone else, someone who can be what you need, because it's not me."

_Growl_

"Pup…Baby…Please…don't break my heart anymore, it's too hard, we…this…it's over." I said it softly, too quiet to believe the words had actually been said but he heard every word.

The air before me shimmered and shifted, the particles giving off a soft glow as he phased into the beautiful man I loved so much. His crouching naked form congealed together formed out of a magic that was older and more essential then today's churches could imagine.

"Bella" he stood, naked and radiating before me. A tribute to male beauty and perfection and he held his hand out to me.

"No Jake…" I said, shrinking back, knowing that if I allowed him to touch me the current of our love would pull me in, weaken my defenses and ultimately leave me more broken than before.

"Please…please Bells…don't give up on us."

"There's nothing to give up on…There can't…there can't be an us, we have to…let go of the imprint and you have to move on…"

"I can't, I'll never see anyone but you." He said softly.

"You have to, to be Alpha, to lead, you have to move on."

"What about you?"

"No…I'm…I'm done now…." I shook my head knowing that my body would never move on from this moment, no matter how my head or heart may want to; my physical form would always be tied to my love of Jacob Black. There was no after him for me.

"Bells…" he began as I heard Charlie's cruiser drive up, we had been out here for too long already.

"You have to go."

"No" he said stubbornly.

"You're naked; you don't want Charlie to come out here right now."

"I don't care." He lifted his chin and reached out for me again "All I care about it you Bella, and finding a way to fix this. We will, I know we will, don't give up, let me talk to the elders, let me…let me find a way."

"I don't want you to" I lied "I just…want you to go and let me go. The Elders won't be any help, they haven't been so far and…I can't…Jake, I can't take what happened the other night happening again. I just can't."

He hung his head in shame and nodded, his tears dangerously close to the ends of his long eyelashes, making him somehow even more beautiful.

"Bells?!" Charlie called from inside making Jake look up at me and nod.

"Bye Jake." I whispered as he turned away from me and phased while walking into the woods. There was one long mournful howl but then, the night was silent.

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**See Thunderbird Tattoo here: http://www (.) littlebearart (.) ca/ mythology/thunderbird (.) jpg  
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**Holy Shit! Only ONE person guessed the tattoo thing - shouldn't be surprising that was Amanda Wilder, the little genius that she is! Or maybe she and I are just deviants in the same way...hmmm...maybe... :)**

**Thanks for being patience on the updates, some personal stuff came up and there has been no time to get into this until now. Next chapter may be a few days as well. Thanks for staying with me! Smooches to all of you! Let me know what you think!  
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	21. Chapter 21

**A/N hmmm maybe the tattoo thing didn't come through completely, the tattoo was to bind the two things that have destroyed Bella. She doesn't really understand what's going on or the power of it yet. The old woman gives her a lot of wisdom but despite being willing to accept the moment, she's not ready to accept the wisdom. I think I did ok expressing the scene but I guess not so well at expressing Bella, no part of her thinks this tattoo is going to bring her and Jake together. What she's doing is memorializing her pain. This is the site of her undoing, she doesn't see herself as ever moving on from this and now her brush with death and her heartbreak are bound together in that spot. A tattoo over the scar. She finds strength in accepting that her life is in a sense over. It's almost like how some people get really calm and healthy after they make the decision to commit suicide. She's not going to go down that path but the emotional state of acceptance is similar. Does that help explain things to those of you who asked in reviews or messages? I hope so…let me know if not, maybe I need to rework the chapter…

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My wrist had bled through the cheese cloth for days. Charlie believed me when I told him it was just a cut from hiking with Kim. It's not like that kind of thing didn't happen all the time and he had no reason to think I would do something like this. As it healed I was able to keep it covered with either a bandage or a large bracelet until the scabs fell away and the redness of my flesh faded back to white.

Soon my tattoo was something I would spend hours touching. There was a lesson in it, in the words that the old woman had said, but I was paralyzed by fear and grief, unable to receive the wisdom she had bestowed upon me. As far as I could see my existence was nothing but pain, there was nothing else out there for me that could inspire the kind of love I had felt or the kind of heartbreak that radiated through me at the mere mention of his name.

Charlie was surprisingly supportive and didn't ask many questions. He continued to go to the Black's house and fish or spend time with Billy, but he never asked if I wanted to go or told me anything about Jake when he got home. In our house it was as if Jacob Black had never existed, except of course Jake would not allow himself to be completely eradicated from my life.

Every few days Jake would call or Pup would come to visit. Each time I saw him or heard his voice the pain in my chest would throb. But I couldn't say no to him. I was pulled, like a moth to a flame, to anything I could get from him. I still wouldn't allow Jake to touch me but Pup was harder to turn away, he always had been. Some days he would come just to sit with me or he would bring Wolfs Bane flowers in his mouth. Some days I would try to resist him and stay inside but when he would look at me with those soft brown eyes and whimper I would bury my face into his fur and sob. It wasn't helping either of us move on or heal but if I couldn't be with him in love, somehow being with him in pain was second best.

We both suffered unnecessarily, if I had only let myself believe that we could get past this then maybe we would have, but then we'd never have gotten to where we are today. Would I have known the pain was the necessary catalyst then perhaps I wouldn't have minded so much, but then, that would have undone the power of it? Only through my destruction, complete and obliterating, was I able to become the me you see today.

Weeks passed and despite Leah's encouragement that I should be angry, I couldn't be. All I could think about was what James had done to me and how it had ruined my life. I hardly spoke in school anymore; Angela was the only person I could stand being around outside of my Father and the women of La Push. Even she would get frustrated with me though and my refusal to discuss Jake.

The thing is I couldn't blame Jacob for everything that happened. I couldn't blame him for something he had no control over. But it didn't change the fact that I was burnt out, cold to the core, ashes of myself floating away in the wind. When you face recovery from an insurmountable injury, the knowledge that you are loved is what pulls you through, but during that attack James took something from me I didn't even know I needed. And when we were apart I could see how maybe Alice was right…maybe it would have been better if they had just let me change. Then I would already be dead and maybe my un-beating heart would be incapable of breaking.

Friday when I went out the car Jacob firmly refused to allow me to return I found a stuffed wolf sitting on the driver's seat. I smiled, without tears this time and moved it to the passenger side. I buckled myself…and then the wolf…and headed toward school: another day of allowing my mind to numb over and pushing my friends away. I had changed seats in most of my classes so that I was either alone or sitting with Angela. The only class I wasn't able to do that was English, where I sat next to Edward.

Edward was being strangely insightful about my current predicament. His refusal to shut up about it however was driving me insane. While I appreciated his attempts at making me feel better, his constant berating of Jake was frustrating. Despite the fact that I hadn't told him anything about what had happened Edward knew about it all thanks to him being able to read Jake's mind. They had been working together to hunt down a particularly elusive vamp that had been lurking around Forks.

The strange truce between the pack and the Cullens still confused me; it was as if they got to pick and choose when to be enemies and when to be allies. Sometimes I would see Edward spoke of Sam with something akin to respect, sometimes his eyes flashed black at the mere mention of the pack.

Driving toward school for another day that spanned before a lifetime of days alone the threatening snow broke through the clouds. It fell quickly and thick and by the time I pulled into the Fork's High parking lot there was a blanket of white covering everything. I pulled into my usual spot and sat back in my seat, taking a few breaths and trying to steel myself for the upcoming school day. At least it was Friday. Only one more semester until the school year was over. I couldn't think about that though, all I could focus on was the day ahead of me, anything more then that would cause me to panic with the knowledge that there was no where for me to go, and nothing out there for me.

I smiled down at the stuffed wolf sitting next to me, its tongue lolling out of its mouth the way Jake's does when he's playful. The pain that consumed me slowly returned but before my heart could rip out of my chest I grabbed me bag and stepped out of the Rabbit and headed toward school.

Trudging through the freshly falling snow I kept my head down and didn't slow as I passed Mike and Ben and Lauren. I knew they were looking at me, wondering when I would come out of this depression, but they couldn't fathom the depth of my pain.

"Bella?" A voice broke my train of thought.

Looking up I saw Alice standing before me. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and willed her to leave me alone. Unfortunately when I looked up she was still there, her perky demeanor and ageless face waiting for me to acknowledge her.

"What Alice?"

"Isn't it enough time? Can't we be friends again?" She said sweetly.

"I don't see how."

"Bella, I'm sorry I upset you. But it's been so long since we spoke."

"You didn't just upset me Alice, you tried to kill me." Despite my desire for my pain to end, I couldn't get past that; I couldn't ever hope to be what she was.

"No! No, I didn't want Edward to kill you and there was no promise that what he was doing would work."

"Stop rationalizing" we spoke quietly and I stepped closer to her to make my point. "You didn't want him to even try, you wanted to just let me become something I don't want, you tried to take away everything, my life, Jacob…"

"And where is he now Bella? How's that life turning out? If you were one of us you would be loved and welcomed into our family! You still could, I can still see…" she reached out as if to touch me, making me recoil.

"I don't want to know! Alice, stay out of my future, stay out of my life!"

"Edward loves you, you know, your life doesn't have to be over, you could have happiness with us, with him."

I turned and walked away, unable to believe that she would suggest I just move on from Jake and give myself to Edward. That I could ever be with anyone else again was inconceivable.

"Bella, why won't you consider the possibility that you could be happy with him?" she asked trailing behind me.

"Why won't you accept that I don't want to talk to you, I don't want to know you anymore."

"I won't accept it because I know it's not true."

"It is true" I turned on her to make my point as clearly as possible. "When I look at you all I see is death, I can't breathe with the stench of it."

"Bella, no…" she gasped, pulling in an unnecessary breath.

"Leave me alone." This time when I walked away she didn't follow.

Class was unbearable, the news of my fight with Alice had spread and while the content of it hadn't been overheard the fact that we were arguing was the most exciting thing to happen in Forks High in weeks. I seethed as I sat through Trig and was seeing red by the time I walked into English class. The very last thing on the planet I wanted was to be the center of attention again.

Lauren was, as usual these days, following me around, still desperate for news of Paul. I was out of patience and completely on edge when she came up to me.

"Hey Bella, look, I know you said you didn't want to get involved…" The walls were closing in on me, there was no escape.

"Lauren…" I groaned, hoping she would let it go and I could just go sit by the window and pretend to be dead.

"I was hoping…maybe you'd give me Paul's number."

My brain exploded, I was done with her, with everyone, human, vampire and werewolf. "Lauren, get over it."

"Bella!"

I started to walk away when she grabbed my arm "Please."

"No, stop acting like such a lost puppy, God, it's so infuriating."

"I just want to talk to him, I thought maybe now you'd understand." She pleaded.

"What because Jake and I broke up? You think that's anything like your one night stand? Fuck Lauren!"

"You don't have to be such a bitch." She steamed, tears in the corners of her eyes.

"I'm not, look I'm sorry but it's not going to happen ok? Even if I gave you his number it's too late."

"What do you mean?"

"Paul got married" I said flatly, not caring about her reaction, just wanting her to leave me alone. Maybe if she knew about Leah she'd drop it.

"Oh my God…" she said quietly, looking at the floor, and as her grief spilled from her eyes I was unmoved: my deadened heart incapable of feeling remorse or compassion. Her pain may be real, but she would move on, she would grow up. I wouldn't.

I left her standing in the middle of English as the bell rang to try and recover her composure.

"Was that really necessary?" a smooth voice questioned as I sat down, accusation in his tone.

"Leave me alone Edward." I whispered looking out the window at the falling snow. It looked so peaceful, like a frozen wonderland that was falling inside a snow globe picture of someone else's life.

"Is that your goal now? To alienate everyone? You scream at Alice and make Lauren cry…am I next? How about Angela?" his voice was quiet but I could hear the pain in it, he was suffering because I was suffering, he was witness to my self destruction but could do nothing to stop it.

"I don't want to talk" I said, not meeting his eyes.

"Is what you said true? Do you only see death when you look at us?" there was an unusual tremor to his voice, as if he dreaded the answer. "Tell me, I can't read your mind, you have to tell me."

I mustered all my strength to cut my final tie to the Cullens "Yes" I said turning to look at his amber eyes. I steadied my breath and did the unthinkable "That's all you are, I look at you and I see my destruction, everything you are, everything you took from me." I took off my thick leather bracelet and revealed my almost healed tattoo and showed it to him. "You're my enemy now."

"That's the Thunderbird" he said without flinching, not believing a word I had said.

"Yes."

"You know what he is?"

"She…and yes, I do."

"Are you sure? That's a powerful symbol it shouldn't be worn as just a game or decoration."

"Edward…" I began, wrapping the bracelet back over "Leave me alone."

"Fine Bella, if that's how you want it, that's how it'll be, but I'll always be here if you change your mind."

I turned away from him and ignored his glances and small movements for the rest of class. He was mercifully silent. When the bell rang I walked out of the classroom, out of the school and out of my mind. I sat in the Rabbit regretting my day and everything I had said, no one was safe around me, no one was free of my pain. I lashed out at any moving target that crossed my path. I hugged the stuffed wolf to my chest, trying to push in and hold my heart in my chest, wishing it was Jake I was holding.

God…I would give anything to feel his warmth, his passion. I knew that everything was alright when I was in his arms and that the world made sense. Even vampires and werewolves couldn't shake my sanity, but now I felt as if my ears were bleeding and my mind was liquefying. Without thinking I picked up my phone and flipped it open. Realizing I intended to call Jake I threw it across the car so hard it ricocheted off the dash and landed in the back seat.

With a sigh and a tear I got back out of the car and headed out back, passing the students who watched at me, walking without purpose, clutching a stuffed wolf. I walked through the snow until the school faded behind me, until the line of trees faded behind me and I was surrounded by the thick brush of the forest.

This is how it had started; this was the way I was supposed to die. A tall black man with red eyes was supposed to end my life so many months ago; maybe this time since then was all a test or a dying delusion. How much easier it must be to be dead in a box then alive in this world.

I walked slowly with steady feet through the undergrowth of the dense forest. The snow hadn't penetrated the canvas yet and the filtered light made it possible to believe it was any time of day, any time of year. I wandered without direction or purpose until my tears began to flow. I walked as tears froze to my eyelashes and until the feeling in my cheeks went from cold to pain to numb. Frostbite was a distant thought; to die of a frozen heart was so much worse then anything that waiting in this forest for me. Or so I thought.

I sat on a fallen rock and stared into the trees until I couldn't see anything at all. All my eyes could see was blackness stretching out before me and behind me, a life with only a blip of joy amongst nothing else of note. If I was to make my way out of this I was going to have to find the strength inside myself. It was unfortunate that the only one who could save me had given up the search.

I closed my eyes as darkness settled over the trees, I was alone in the woods, freezing to death and certainly destined to lose at least one toe and I dreamed. I dreamed of a courtyard full of light and heat. I stood in the center surrounded by potted trees each flowering a different color. As I began to move toward one to smell a flower Jake stepped out from behind it.

He moved toward me with a smile, no words were spoken and his yellow eyes glowed as darkness suddenly descended around us. His touch set me on fire, the connection between us blazing through my skin even in a dream. I looked up at him and saw that he was older but still essentially Jake, my Jacob, my Pup. My love for him swelled inside my heart and I closed my eyes allowing the heat to expand within me and burst out, surrounding us in the sun of our love.

I opened my eyes as he brought his lips to mine, the heat too hot to believe I wasn't burning, but there was no pain only bliss. We kissed mindlessly, thoughtlessly until I was spinning for the simple ecstasy of melting against his lips. I turned and pulled away hearing a sound behind me, but when I looked all I saw was the dark forest and a pair of bright red eyes peering at me from the distant trees.

"Good morning sunshine" I heard in the distance as I woke to find someone swinging their foot and slamming it directly into my side.

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**Ohhh my?~? Who found Bella in the woods? If you can't guess you perhaps aren't paying attention...  
Also, I know this is a short linking chapter to get us to the next scene but to make it worth your while here's an updated playlist: http://www (.) playlist (.) com / playlist/19663366155/standalone songs 20-31 are new and reflect the recent chapters and some of what's to come.**


	22. Chapter 22

**Thank you to the immaculate HopeAlways for Betaing this chapter for me. Seriously, it's SO much better and more readable now! Please, don't get too upset until you finish the chapter ok? I know the beginning is a little...brutal but if you make it through to the end you'll understand what I'm doing. I promise, trust me and have faith in my Jake love :)**

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The impact to my side was mind shattering, the knowledge that the woman towering above my body was capable of so much more froze me deeper than the cold could ever reach.

"Did you sleep well?" she asked leaning down near my face, a vicious smile spreading across her beautiful face. Her red hair and freckled cheeks made her look comical in contrast with the violence she exuded.

"We are going to have such fun my Bella." She smiled making her red eyes sparkle before standing up and skipping across the field. Her arms were out like a child playing airplane in the spring as she pranced about the clearing laughing. I was back at the site of my destruction, the clearing that James first brought me to. Here I was surrounded with trees, again alone with a vampire but this time it was winter. Alice's vision…

My breathing sped as I looked around me and tried to remember how we had gotten home last time but my memories of that day were too clouded with the pain of James' venom. The tall menacing redhead walked back to me, her arms full of branches, what was she going to do to me? My body began to shake as images of being crucified and impaled flashed through my mind.

"We need to get you warm now don't we?" her laugh spread out across the field, filling it with the glee she felt at having me all to herself. "This isn't going to be half as much fun if you're too cold to feel it!" she smiled and said conspiratorially as if I was in on her great joke.

"Nn-n-n-ooo" I said realizing how very cold I was. Her smile was toothy and in another world it would have been beautiful, but the red of her eyes tracked every movement, every breath I took.

She began breaking the branches and stacking them high, using the smaller sticks to prop up air vents allowing for the making of a glorious fire.

"Now, I think we have just the thing to make this fire blaze" she reached over and snatched the stuffed wolf I hadn't remembered clutching out of my frozen grasp. "The stuffing will make for a great starter" she slit the wolf's stomach open slowly with one nail.

"Nn-noo" I said again, reaching out, willing to fight for the stuffed animal where as I hadn't been willing to fight for myself. "Give him to me" I said as my tears started to spill.

"Oh! Tears! I haven't seen anyone cry in…I can't even imagine how long, I'm usually done far too fast to enjoy it but I may have to change my ways now." She vaulted toward me, discarding the wolf momentarily, and landed on her hands and knees next to my legs. Her red hair fell softly over one shoulder in contrast with her white fur stole and the white snow. "Bella, Bella, shhhh" she cooed as she leaned in and licked the tears from my cheek. "Mmmm the taste of your pain is…intoxicating." She kissed my lips softly, her mouth hard against me despite the gentle touch. I shivered from the contact of her marble skin and deadly intentions against me.

"Too cold, far too cold" she said and disappeared, moving too fast for me to see where she had gone.

Where was Jacob? Where was Edward? Edward who I had told to leave me alone… Jacob who I had been pushing away… Neither of them would even notice I was gone. I had made this, I had created a life not worth living and now what right did I have to regret not being able to live it? If I could have changed or fixed one thing it would be letting my pain get in the way of even trying to fix things with Jake.

She returned quickly, sprinting behind me and allowing her nails to drag sharply along my shoulders. "Let's get started" she said tilting her head. Slowly she disemboweled my wolf pulling out the stuffing slowly. Inside the fire dome she nestled it with small sticks and dried leaves. Reaching forward she flicked her unbreakable nail across a stone, sending a spark out to land on the kindling. The spark ignited the entrails of my stuffed wolf, eliciting a sob from my chest.

"You are truly lovely" she said with a tone that in another setting would be called kind. "But you see you took from me the only thing I needed, the only thing I ever wanted. You took him from me by just being you and then you had the audacity to allow those MUTTS to kill him." She stood, the anger on her face becoming stronger and stronger, distorting what was left of her humanity and leaving behind only the monster before me.

"The worst part though was that you denied his gift, you gave it back, you let that…CULLEN…suck it out of you like it was some kind of vile poison instead of the gift of life." She was pacing, brought to new heights with her passion.

"Today though, today you'll wish you'd allowed his seed to spread through you. If you were one of us you wouldn't be able to feel the fire lick at your flesh or the gnawing pain as you watch me suck the marrow from your bones."

Suddenly she grabbed me by the hair and dragged me across the field. I kicked my feet out, trying to right myself and gain some control over what was happening but she was too strong and too fast. The ground slid below me, ripping at my jeans. The searing pain in my scalp continued even after she had released her hold on me, tossing me forward to a cliff edge that was over looking Second Beach.

"You can run if you want to" she smiled filling the morning with her menace "You could jump and take your chances. You might break something and have to wait down there for me to come get you or maybe…just by chance you would actually be able to get away."

She paced around me taunting her prey "But what would I do for fun then? How would I teach you your lesson if you weren't here?"

Shaking I moved slightly, testing to see if there was any chance that in her ranting I could run through the trees. Jumping off the cliff wasn't something I could do, even if I wanted to, my fear would never let my feet make the leap.

"Your Father!" she said suddenly, pulling me from my thoughts "If you were to run, I could go to your house and wait for you. That father of yours is quite delicious. That mustache… and I bet being a cop he'd put up a good fight, make it last…"

"No! You…you stay away form Charlie!" I struggled to stand up but was on my knees before she backhanded me, throwing me to the ground with a jolt.

"Today _you_ aren't in charge! Today _I_ take from _you!_" She screamed and came to hover over me, her nail tracing a line along my cheek. She dug her nail in deeply and pulled it through the flesh of my face harshly. "Today you are _mine._ And I'll take from you like you took from me. I will rip you to pieces like your mangy pets did to him and I will burn your pieces slowly, keeping you alive enough to enjoy the show."

The blood spilled down my cheek the pain enhanced by the burning cold in the air trying to freeze the fluid as it fell. "Ok…Ok…Do…Do what you want to me… But leave him alone." I stuttered but got the words out finally, hoping that if she got what she wanted this would end here… today.

In the distance the fire grew devouring the small plush wolf that had melted my heart yesterday morning. The wood crackled and spit and Victoria's hatred massacred the morning. My tears fell as she walked back to the fire, leaving me to make my choice, risking the unknown below and taking the chance that I may get away but in doing so condemning my father to death and pain, or following her.

My brain couldn't make the decision, the biological for survival at war with the need to protect my family. In the end it was my heart that made the choice and I trailed slowly behind her. She was singing a soft lullaby under her breath as she stoked the fire and brought it to a roaring blaze.

"Take off your shirt and lie down on your stomach" she said without turning to me, leaving me again to make the decision to accept her cruelty. There was nothing like the feeling of defeat that accompanied allowing someone to do to you whatever it was Victoria had filed away in her cruel mind.

My stomach flinched at the frosted grass below me and my body was overwhelmed with the pain and acceptance coursing through me. The fire blazed close to me now – heat on my right, ice on my left. My body was screaming as the input was literally torn in two.

Before this day I thought I'd known pain. I thought I had endured the unendurable with my break with Jake, with the brutal application of the tattoo on my wrist. I felt her icy fingers on my back making me shiver with fear and cold. She undid my bra and pulled the straps down over my shoulders slowly, leaving me naked and exposed. What James had done to my body and mind had seemed like the worst that a person could experience, but as Victoria whispered for me to close my eyes and placed the large stones she had been heating in the fire on my back, along my spine, melting and branding my skin, I knew I had been wrong. There is so much worse out there in the world than I had ever thought of.

My mind revolted against the pain, trying to force my body to move, but the icy cold hands on my shoulders and the body sitting above my hips soothingly cooed her reminder for me to hold still for fear of worse tortures. And so I laid there, tears sliding down my face as I bit through my lip in the effort not to move. I laid there and accepted as the stones sunk lower into my body. I could imagine that they were working through the layers of skin and meat on my body and searing the bones of my spine.

Victoria whispered into my ear all of the things she imagined James would have done to me if he'd lived and all of the things she was going to do to make me suffer for his demise. My silent weeping did not sway her or melt her stone heart, if anything it made her more excited for what was to come.

As the stones cooled she removed them slowly, making a stack to put back into the fire. As she released me I rolled onto my side, a river of pain cascading down my back, desolate and alone. I gripped my stomach and held myself together as the holes the stones had left in my flesh ate away at what was left of my sanity.

Closing my eyes I imagined I was the monster and Victoria the prey, I imagined that there was something, some way I hadn't considered yet that would free me from this moment. The pain in my back spread and radiated through my bones, causing them to disintegrate and fall to powder through the hole in my heart.

My wrist throbbed and when I opened my eyes to look at it I was shocked to find the clarity of my vision. Everything was bathed in a warm radiating light that seemed to exist in the very items I was looking at. The tattoo on my wrist seemed to wriggle and crane its neck up to look at me in accusation; as if I had done something to cause this.

The thunderbird held my gaze, its eyes wise and full of accusation. As I watched she rose up off my wrist, a black two dimensional miracle flapping in the air before me. Overhead there was a clap of thunder which made me jump expecting a corresponding impact from Victoria. Reopening my eyes the thunderbird was safely back on my wrist.

"I'm missing the smell of your blood, the stones were, inspired, but I think we need something a little meatier." Victoria said standing above me, her fingers extended like claws.

Looking up at her the golden glow that everything was giving off was absent. It was almost as if she had the opposite of an aura. Instead the air around her was limp and lifeless, waiting until it could join its brothers in the sun. I pushed off with my legs and sat myself upright, earning a look of some hybrid of respect and hatred. The firelight shimmered in her hair, making it look alive, like a creature straight from hell come to devour me.

"Dask'iya" I whispered, seeing the cannibal ogress before me instead of the vampire. My eyes were clouded with visions of legends long forgotten and the true stories that lay behind them. I saw her cruelty, her glee and I felt a power and anger rise up in me. Submitting to her wasn't going to keep her from killing my father, my friends, my Jacob. All it was going to do is remind her of how much fun it would be to kill more.

She raised her hand and brought her nails down across my face, marring me with two more long gashes to match the one from earlier. As she laughed and raised her hands in salutation to the sun rising above us I stood up slowly, finding strength and power coursing through me I never knew I had.

"You bitch" she sneered as she turned back to me but faster than I knew I could I stepped forward, catching her off guard with the new strength I was drawing on. I smiled, blood dripping down my cheek and pushed her as hard as I could into the blazing fire. She had been standing so close it was easy and the thrust of my push was strong sending her into the hot center of the blaze.

Her screams were wild, like an animal that was being declawed, she fought her way out of the wood pile but every time she came near I dodged her grasp, knowing just where she would try to grab me before she did and I hurled her back into the flame. The purple smoke began slowly, building momentum with her screams until it was billowing up into the unmarred sky. The unnatural sight was strangely beautiful and before I was aware of what I was doing I realized I was laughing.

Standing next to a blazing fire, witnessing the destruction of an undead murderess I laughed. Blood ran down my face and the flies buzzed near the holes in my back as I laughed topless and free. Time passed slowly and I could hear the fire siren in the distance. The people of Forks had seen the thick smoke and mistaken it for a large flash fire instead of the small contained death it was.

The thunderbird on my wrist called for my attention and when I looked down it was smiling proudly glowing a strong vibrant golden yellow. "Thank you" I whispered to my guardian spirit and heard the sirens coming closer.

Life and Joy coursed through my body as I smiled and sprinted toward the cliff that only hours ago I had been groveling next to. I felt the strength flood my muscles as I pushed myself faster then I had ever gone before. I took long purposefully steps before coming to the edge and vaulting myself up and off the earth.

The sky surrounded me as I hung in the air for a moment, time suspended in my achievement and I could imagine I was truly walking in the air. No one held me; no one drove the current of my movement other than me. I was free, like the Thunderbird, I was complete and powerful and in that moment, I knew exactly where I was going next.

Time sped back up and I rushed down off the cliff, into the river below. As the air rushed past me I could hear a howl in the distance. I allowed the rush of the fall to break away my fear and my pain; I left all of my insecurities and self-hate behind me to burn in the fire with Victoria. Now I was Bella; I was the Thunderbird; I was his Mate.

The water welcomed me in its embrace, awakening the chill in my bones and stinging the open wounds in my back. I rose from the undertow and pulled myself to the shore, the laugh of my thunderbird bouncing in my head, making me smile in our excitement to get to him.

I followed the river downstream and climbed over the jetties that connected it to Second Beach. I ran across the beach, unfazed by the chill of the winter air on my wet skin, holding my breasts tight against me, needing only to get to him. The sand worked its way between my toes and kicked up on my legs leaving me a site to behold. Broken and injured, bleeding and raw, I smiled with the pure joy of a woman in love.

I crashed into his house sucking in air as I tried to call for him, but the words wouldn't come. No one was in the living room as I stumbled to my knees, unable to carry myself any further. "Jake…" I croaked as my body slumped to the ground. The sound of my voice was painful to my ears. I looked up and caught my refection in the front window of the house. I had leaves and dirt in my hair and three long raw gashes on my left cheek and my eyes glowed a soft golden yellow.

"Alice…" I whispered smiling at myself before the pain in my body brought me back to reality.

"Jake!" I called louder hoping that if he was too asleep to hear me, maybe he could feel my presence.

"What's going on?" Billy's voice called as he pushed himself out into the living room in a tee-shirt and his boxer shorts. "Holy Fuck…" he hissed when his eyes fell on my broken and bloody body. That would be marked in my mind as the first and only time I ever heard Billy Black swear.

"Jacob!" he screamed, pounding on the door to his son's room before swinging it open "Get up son, NOW!" The lights in the house were flickering and fading but I was safe, no matter what happened now I was safe and I was free. Whatever had happened to me this morning had brought me back here, back to the place I was always supposed to be.

"Bella…" Jake screamed as he ran out of his room and scooped me up into his arms "Oh my God honey, what happened!" he cried as I winced, pulling away from him, not wanting anything to touch the still sizzling skin on my back.

"Dad, we have to get her to a hospital!" Jake sobbed and in the distance I heard Billy's voice, surprisingly calm.

"No son, look at her eyes…we need to call Q'wakili…" My mind and body disintegrated allowing them to take control of my fate, knowing I was safe.

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**Soooo...do you still hate me? What did you think?**

**Here's a picture of Dask'iya - you can see why when I read this the entire idea of Victoria came together for me...**

**http:// tinyurl (.) com/ 24fktes**


	23. Chapter 23

**I've been converted - this chapter took so long because the last one was SO much better having had it beta-ed. As long as my darling darling HopeAlways is available to Beta I'm probably going to do that from now on.

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Dreamily she opened her eyes, taking in the warm light of the early morning. The curtains blocked out the harshest of the light letting her wake slowly. She stretched and smiled at the ceiling, knowing that today was going to be a good day. She was newly imprinted, in love and excited for the weekend laid out ahead of her.

The smell of the early morning coffee that her mother had programmed to brew automatically drifted through the house bringing a familiar comfort to all those who lived within. A startling pain began in her wrist and she looked down to see that her tattoo, which yesterday had been almost healed, swelling quickly, blood seeping from the inky design. She gasped as the pain increased and seized her by the chest pulling her upright in her bed. The fear in her eyes was a perfect reflection of the fear clutching her soul.

One of her Sisters was in trouble…

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I woke slowly, a haze surrounding my thoughts slowing my ability to recognize where I was. The air was warm and for a moment I imagined I was lying next to a fire still waiting for the next unimaginable injury Victoria had dreamed up to inflict on me. I sat up quickly, feeling the pull and stretch of my muscles but a surprising lack of pain.

"Bella!" the fire called from a distance, making me turn not thinking about the pain that should be shooting through the burns in my back.

"No…" I said, still not seeing the world in front of me, lost behind a film of fear.

"Bella, honey hold still" the voice continued, low and husky.

"Jake?" I asked and my eyes cleared as my tears fell quickly revealing the man who loved me sitting on the couch I had been lying on. He had been my pillow, my comfort while I slept. The heat had been him all along.

"Jake!" I sobbed throwing my arms around him and allowing the depths of my terror to break free and pour out onto him. He held me gingerly as I cried into his neck soothing me with words of love and reassurance. "You're real…" I cried as I took in heaving gulps of air, trying to regain my control.

"Are you in pain?" another less familiar voice asked.

Taking a deep breath I sat up and turned to find the old woman from the cabin standing before me, her long hair pulled tightly into two long braids. "No…I'm…I'm Ok." I said, surprised to find that it was true.

"Take off that shirt" she commanded coming over to sit on the other side of me. I took it off knowing there was no sense in arguing with her but held the garment in front of me, not comfortable being topless with Jake and Billy watching me. She touched my back lightly, tracing the line of my spine passing over each wound without comment. When she pressed softly against where one of the worst burns had been I pulled away, startled by the strange sensation that flowed through me.

"Did that hurt?" she asked curtly laying her hand flat against my shoulder blade to steady me.

"No…it was just…weird."

"Weird how? Use real words child."

"It was…nervy…I don't know…It was like I could feel it where you touched but other places too, like when you touched that spot it was connected to all of me…" I looked at Jake who tried to smile but didn't fool me with the lame attempt to hide his concern.

"Nervy…that's a good word for it." The old woman chuckled before standing up. "You are a strange one child, but there's no doubt about what you are. What you feel is your spirit connection; you feel it when I touch you because I am in touch with my inner spirit as well. It's similar but not as intense as the feeling you get when you are touched by your imprint, is it not?"

"Yes…yes it's like that!" I said quickly pulling my shirt back on.

"How is she healed?" Jake interrupted, less concerned with the spiritual then the physical.

"How are _you_?" the old woman asked cocking an eyebrow at Jacob.

"You were hurt?" I asked turning to him, fear coursing through my veins at the idea that anything, anyone would injure him. I reached out and cupped his cheek with my hand.

"Only a little." He smiled reassuringly taking my hand in his and kissing my palm.

"Only for you little wolf" the old woman smiled "Anyone else would be dead, just like your mate here, the spirits kept you safe and whole…"

"Mate? No…I'm not…we haven't…" I blushed not meaning to reveal so much of our personal lives but not wanting there to be misconceptions.

"Child, you are his mate…marked or not…there is no doubt in this old soul's mind. You will be fine, your back will heal but the scars will stay, do not be surprised if they are always sensitive." She nodded and held my gaze intensely. "Come to see me when you decide what it is you are deciding. I will help you prepare." She stepped closer to me and kissed my forehead before reaching for my wrist and kissing my thunderbird. "Thank you" she whispered into my skin before dropping my hand and turning to leave.

"Wait!" Jake said standing up. "What…what about her eyes…what about the cuts on her face? What did you put on them…what…is she?" the last words fell out of his mouth softly but the impact of them was deafening.

"I'm Bella!" I said standing up smoothly, my body strong and lithe in a new way I wasn't used to. I felt like I moved before I had consciously decided to move, as if my body was reacting to my thoughts before I had interpreted them.

"I…I know that Bells but…you should be dead…" he looked at me, the pain in his eyes outweighed by his confusion.

"Would that be better? Would that have been easier? I'm sorry I _inconvenienced _you by living!"

"No…stop it, that's not what I mean" he pled, unable to get his words to match up with his thoughts.

"I'm alive…I'm…better…isn't that enough for you?"

"It is but…I know what it's like Ok? I know what it's like to suddenly be something today that you weren't yesterday." He grabbed my shoulders gently forcing me to look at the sincerity in his eyes. "I don't want you to go through it alone or without some kind of answers ok?"

He looked over my shoulder and at the old woman who was smiling up at him, kindness and pride radiating through her. "You will lead well Jacob; your Bride will lead well by your side. That is all you need to know…the Wolf, the protector of his people and his consort, the Thunderbird through whom salvation comes from a screaming sky will bring peace to our people."

"Peace…?"

"Bride…?"

"You will find your way, as long as you do it together" she smiled again before walking out of the small red house.

"Alright, well now that that's all cleared up" Billy chuckled, rolling closer to where we were still standing lost in each other's eyes. "Bella!" he said breaking into our moment. "You need to call your Dad, tell him you fell asleep here last night and that I had promised to call him but forgot. He'll be mad but mostly at me…then you two can catch up ok?"

"Yeah…yeah Billy…thanks…" I said looking down at the kind man for a moment before throwing my arms around his neck. "Thanks…" I whispered into his long hair.

"Ok, alright, come on now, don't get tears on the shirt, it's my favorite" he grumbled with a smile.

"Sorry" I pulled away and looked over at Jake who was still in a state of shock.

"I'm going over to Harry's, he said he had an idea on how to supe up this chair a little, see if we can't get me up out of 3rd gear." He smiled and winked before rolling back down the hallway to his room to put on some clothes.

"Bells" Jake sighed as I turned to him. "Honey are you sure you're Ok?" he crouched slightly to get a good look at me and make sure I wasn't hiding anything from him.

"I don't know how Jake, but I'm fine." I said steadily, holding his eyes and willing him to believe me.

"I don't understand…" he said softly, his eyes melting into tears. He reached out and crushed me against his chest, the heat of his bare chest thawing me and soothing my battered heart. "I don't understand…but…you're here…I'm so glad you're here…" he whispered through his tears.

"I'm ok Baby" I said into his chest, wrapping my hands around his waist and pulling him closer to me, no longer concerned with him crushing me, only wanting to feel him closer. "I'm ok, we're Ok alright? Shhh…" My hands rubbed his lower back, massaging the muscles along his spine, willing him to relax into me.

"I've missed you so much" he said forcefully, pulling me even tighter.

"I love you, I'm sorry." I said, my own tears returning.

"No…no Bella, God, you have nothing to be sorry for." He pulled away slightly and looked down at me, tears leaving rivers of regret on his face.

"I shouldn't have pushed you away."

"Yes, yes you should have…I…what happened, it was…God…horrible…I'm so sorry."

I reached up to him, standing as tall as I could on my tip toes and brought my lips to his hesitant mouth. "I don't care" I breathed as I kissed him softly. "I don't care Jake" I kissed him again, with more pressure but his lips still remained still. "All I want is you, all that matters is you, you and me…" I pulled his lower lip into my mouth gently and then ran my tongue along the small opening of his mouth. "I love you"

His arms wrapped up around my back, folding me into his embrace as his kiss became suddenly urgent. His need for me, for us, was palpable in his touch and the taste of his tongue as it begged me to love him.

"I love you" I said again and again until his kisses took up all of my attention and I forgot how to speak at all. My hands ran over his chest and up around his neck. Lacing my fingers through his hair I pulled him down closer to me, desperate to feel our connection again. The electricity that bound us was coursing through my body, vibrating against my soul. I felt like I couldn't breath but didn't need to; I felt like I couldn't think but my only thought was him.

"Kids?" Billy said from behind me and it took me a moment to register that the sound had been real. He chuckled "I'm guessing you didn't call your father…"

"No…no Billy I didn't" I smiled pulling away from Jake and looking back at my father's best friend.

"Ok, alright, I'll call him when I get to Harry's" he shook his head and rolled toward the door. "Just…never mind..." he shook his head again with a chuckle and left us alone in the house.

Jacob and I stood there, entranced with being in the others' presence, lightly holding hands and allowing the pulse of our connection to settle into a calm and steady rhythm. This was home, this was perfection. How was it possible I had thought that we couldn't find our way here again? Now that it was back it was hard to imagine that we'd ever been apart. But standing here in my ripped and bloody jeans and his oversized shirt I knew that I had needed to change, to grow, to be with him. For that, I would never be able to regret the scars on my face and back, I would never be able to hate Victoria. She had given me Jacob.

"Ahhh…you hungry?" Jake said reaching back to rub the back of his neck and stepping away from me suddenly nervous.

"Oh…Ok…" I said and watched as he turned and walked into the kitchen. As he disappeared into the other room I heard it, the rumbling of an engine pulling into his driveway, he must have heard it coming.

A howl in the woods startled me from my thoughts and I felt the impending invasion of the pack before it happened. My chest constricted at the though of all of the oversized teenagers in this small house and for a moment I felt myself shrink back to the girl I had been yesterday. But I fought it. I took a breath to steady myself and opened my heart to them; today I was Jacob's mate.

I turned as the door opened and glimpsed my reflection in the window, my eyes still glowed a soft golden and the scratches on my cheek were now three short black lines. I was marked and I was his.

The back door slammed open first and soon there was a flurry of activity in the kitchen and Jake was yelling at someone about being on patrol this morning. I didn't register what was being said because I knew it, I knew in my skin what he was saying and feeling, my connection to him so complete in this moment I felt as if I was both of us, two parts of me in two places but still together.

"Bella!" a half naked Leah screamed running into the living room past the bickering men. She stopped when I turned and faced her and dropped her eyes. "Oh my God!" she said softly and I reached out to touch her, reassure her I was still me. Before I made contact though the front door was swinging on its hinges from Kim and Emily's overzealous entrance.

"Sister!" Emily cried as she wrapped her arms around me from behind and Kim rushed to me, pulling me into an embrace. Leah however still kept her distance.

"I'm ok, hey…hey guys…I'm Ok…"

"I felt it…" Kim sobbed against my shoulder. "I felt…something stabbing me in the back and the pain in my wrist…Bella…what _happened_ to you?" she looked up at me and blinked back her tears until she could register the glow of my eyes. "What _happened _to you!" she said again stepping away from me slowly.

The fight in the other room was still raging and I could feel Jacob's anger swelling and throbbing in my chest. He needed to calm down. Without a word I stepped away from Emily's hold and Kim's questions. I walked past Leah and entered the kitchen where all of the wolves stood glaring at each other angrily. When they registered my presence their heads dropped to the floor in shame.

Jacob continued his tirade "If you can't find a leech who is out there _torturing_ a human, and not just ANY human, a human tied to the pack, whose scent you KNOW: If you can't protect one of us then what fucking good are you!"

"Jacob…" I said softly stepping up to him.

"I don't want anymore fucking excuses, this pack, it's out of control, you don't take your patrols seriously and you don't have any fucking pride in what we do, what we are! You think it's just some big fucking game and you get to be tall and hot without some kind of price!

"I'm sorry…" a young boy I didn't recognize spoke up softly.

"It's not your fault Seth; you're too young to be on patrol alone. Sam, this is all on you. You fucked up."

"Yes" Sam said, his head still hanging low.

"What the fuck were you guys DOING? Did no one smell the fire or hear something. Were we all fucking _asleep!"_

"Jacob…" I said again reaching out to touch him.

"T'ist'ilal" he said looking at me, his eyes on fire as they connected with mine "This never should have happened"

"It had too; otherwise you would have never called me that." I said confidently, sure of the deeper meaning in our lives.

"Hmmm" he looked at me for a moment, considering the ramifications of that fact. The name he had called me, the Quileute word for the Thunderbird, was not something he had ever said before. He didn't know about how the Thunderbird had saved me yet, he didn't know how the spirit gave me the strength I needed to return to him. It was simply who I was and the spirit in him recognized its kin.

"Q'woli" I said, placing my hand on his strong arm "We are where we were meant to be, give your brothers a break."

He took a deep and shaky breath to try and quiet the anger over my being injured that raged through him. "Sampson, shit's gotta change, we cannot run ourselves to exhaustion and then send out a boy who is unprepared alone, there has to be another way."

"Yes Q'woli" Sam said still looking down.

"From now on, Seth, you stay with your sister, don't go off alone unless ordered by me, do you understand."

Seth looked up at Jake with fear in his eyes. He nodded his voice cracking as he tried to speak. "I'm…I'm so sorry!" he said before dropping his eyes to the ground again, shoulders pulled in tight around him.

"No…no little wolf." I soothed walking over to him and placing a hand on his back. "It's ok…" his eyes raised to mine eliciting a growl from Jake behind me. I turned on him; whipping my head around faster then I thought I could.

"You will _not_ do that" I said clearly and calmly, leaving no room for discussion. The pack gasped as their Alpha lowered his head to me.

"Seth, it's ok" I turned back to the young frightened boy "Jacob understands, he's upset that you were put in the position of trying to handle something you weren't ready for, he's not mad at you, you did nothing wrong. Ok?" The boy nodded his head but didn't look back up at me.

"Bella?" Kim said from the doorway softly "What…what happened to you?" My sisters did not bow their heads but looked at me steadily, strong enough to handle the truth of who I now was.

"Victoria…kidnapped me…tortured me" I said making the room of teenagers growl instinctively. "She's dead."

"What?" Quil said, popping up from his submissive stance and stepping toward me. "How?" he demanded.

"I killed her" I turned and tilted my head, stating the fact flatly, allowing the impact of my words to sink in completely. It was only hours since my torture and I was healed, strong and healthy, no discernable injury other then the now permanent lines on my face and the circular scars along my spine. I understood now what Q'wakili had meant this morning…I would need to pay her a visit…

The pack murmured their approval of my statement despite their confusion over how that was even possible.

"Now get out" Jake said staring at me intensely. "You know what happened, you know she's fine, we'll regroup tonight. Sam, you and I need to have a talk; I'll come by later this afternoon."

"Yes Q'woli" they said in staggered response.

The boys trailed out and Leah stood with Emily and Kim, holding her ground.

"Leah, you too" he said, his voice beginning to take on the timbre of annoyance.

"No" she said looking at him with her strong chin raised.

"Leah…" he threatened "I'm not taking your bullshit right now."

"Jake, I'm not leaving until I know Bella is ok." She said standing her ground, refusing to look down despite the wolf in her whimpering under his glare.

"Jacob, give us a minute?" I said walking back to him and laid my hand on his back. He looked down at me in confusion "Please?"

"No…Bella…" he pled, not wanting to let me out of his sight for even a moment.

"Jake…let me talk to them…" I said softly and he nodded before heading deeper into the house, presumably to his room.

"Sister!" Leah cried when he was gone and she was free of his command. Her arms crushed me and as I fought to regain my breath Emily and Kim joined the embrace and I had no choice but to surrender.

"Guys! I'm ok!" I said, giggling at their ferocity.

"I could feel it Bella." Kim said again with a strangled sob.

"I…I could smell burning flesh" Leah whispered.

"I know…" I said before breaking away from them and turning to lift my shirt and show them what Victoria had done to me.

They gasped, Emily's breath speeding as she took in the evidence of my torture. "This happened this morning?" she asked as she stepped closer and ran a hand down along side the marks, not daring to touch them.

"Yes…" I dropped my shirt and turned back to their pained faces. "I'm ok now"

"How?" Emily asked, still standing the closest to me, her hand now resting on my shoulder.

"I don't know…the tattoo…the thunderbird…she saved me." I smiled and looked down at my wrist where my spirit was smiling back up at me.

"That's where I felt it first…in my wrist" Kim said making Emily and Leah nod together. Emily's arm came around my waist and I laid my head on her shoulder, suddenly tired. "You were there with me; I know you were I know that's how I had the strength. I don't know how it happened" I said looking up at them, the light from my eyes reaching out to them warmly "I don't know how…but I'm ok and I wouldn't be if it wasn't for you, my Sisters."

We stood there together, tired and drained, tears falling silently as we took comfort in being together. Kim sniffed and wiped her nose before looking up at me "You should go talk to Jake." She said kindly.

I nodded before pulling away from Emily and hugging Kim tightly. "I love you." I said tightly.

"I love you too Bella…don't…don't scare us like that again…"

"I won't."

"And don't leave us again" Emily said coming up to us and wrapping one arm around my waist.

"Never."

"And could you please try and keep that fucking dog of yours in line" Leah added, smiling as she snaked her arm around Kim and laid her head on Kim's shoulder.

"I'll try." I smiled and for a moment we breathed together, taking refuge in our Sisterhood, knowing now that it was something so much stronger then friendship or a simple tattoo.

"Thanks…" I said pulling back. "I'm…I'm going to go talk to Jake."

"Ok" Emily reached out and kissed my cheek before taking Kim's hand and walking out. Leah smiled after them before pulling me into one more quick hug and then silently leaving to run home through the woods.

I took a deep breath and looked around the small room, knowing that for the first time in my entire life I was exactly where I was meant to be. A smile spread across my face as I headed back down the hall toward my sun, my life, my Jacob.

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**So - what do you think? I've been posed with the question of how long this story will continue and I'm not sure...what do you guys think? Does it merrit a good ending now or more or and ending and later a sequel or should I burn the whole thing or what? I live and die by your comments on these things and you KNOW that I listen to your suggestions.**

**Oh and remember - the FanArt contest for The Fragrant Taste of Rain ends MAY 18th AT MIDNIGHT.  
Whoever wins gets to pick what my next project is! Get your entries in by PMing me and I'll give you my email address!  
**


	24. Chapter 24  Paul and Lauren Out Take

**This Out-Take is dedicated to Paul's True Imprint…I hope you enjoy it!

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She leaned back into his arms, feeling his lithe muscular body against her back. All night Lauren had been swooning in the attention of a man she had never imagined would even look at her. She was confident, sure of herself in almost every situation, but Paul was older and so sure of himself. Everything she said he had an answer for. He never backed down from her which turned her on more then she could express.

The instant Paul had seen Lauren the magnetism was clear, their heights were matched and her softness mirrored his muscular body perfectly: complimentary mentalities and bodies. He could imagine melting against her, letting her body surround and sooth him.

The fire spread its heat out across the sand as the sun drifted below the tree line warming Lauren's legs. The heat from the fire mirrored the heat against her back radiating off of Paul's shirtless physique. She listened as Sam retold the Quileute legend of the Thunderbird entranced by the magical quality of his voice. The world around him seemed to shift dynamically in response to his words.

Soon Paul leaned forward slightly, Lauren picking up on every movement because she was so in tune with his body. She waited impatiently to feel his skin against hers, his touch so soft came as he ran a finger down her arm. Turning around to face him she was met with veiled eyes and russet skin that begged to be kissed.

His smile was wickedly promising, full of seduction and possibilities. Leaning forward he kissed her cheek quickly before whispering against her hair…"What time do you have to be home?"

She blushed in the darkness, not sure if he could see enough of her face to notice the heat rising to her cheeks. With a low voice that she couldn't control she whispered back into his ear "no time in particular"

"Excellent" he groaned against her before leaning back, his hand still tracing patterns on her shoulder as she tried to listen to the rest of the story. The tingling of her skin distracted her past the point of hearing, until all she was aware of was the sensation of him touching her and the building need between her legs. As the night continued he seemed to get warmer until he was radiating with an internal furnace that shamed even the raging fire before them.

There was a momentary scuffle between Bella's boyfriend and Sam that seemed to resolve itself, but Lauren had no interest in Bella. She was an interloper, an intruder into Lauren's perfect world. Lauren had ruled Forks High until Bella showed up with her mousey looks and meek demeanor. Somehow though she managed to have the hottest guy Lauren had ever seen as her boyfriend and even Edward Cullen, the unapproachable God of Forks lowered himself to be her friend. Lauren just couldn't see it. There was nothing special about her and no reason for the world for her to have everything Lauren had ever wanted.

But tonight was not about that twit Smella, tonight was about her: her and Paul. Tonight she would scratch that itch that had been building since she'd first seen him. He had been standing on the beach, shirtless and lost in thought when Jake had called him over to meet her. Lauren had been transfixed, transported to a world of Gods and Demons when she saw him walking to her across the sand. He had on low slung jeans but no shirt, his body sculpted and angular as he approached slowly. Eyes lowered to meet hers burning like coal and a smirk on his face that made Lauren instantly know that the conquest of this man was going to be her new goal in life.

"Hey, everyone's starting to leave, you wanna go for a walk?" she felt more then heard him whisper from behind her.

"Sure…" she said smiling with victory.

When she stood up she noticed that on the other side of the flickering flames silhouettes of her friends were retreating slowly. They were alone. His hands were on her hips; his fingers digging in softly against her bones making her catch her breath and lean back into him. "So…a walk?"

"We could." She turned in his arms and pressed her chest against his bare skin feeling the pulse of his heat building against her. "Or we could stay here" she said through veiled eyes before standing on her toes and bringing her lips close to his. Her hands pressed against his chest pushing him away as her mouth beckoned him closer.

"I think you like to play games" Paul said into her unkissed mouth, sending a shiver through her body.

"Depends on the game." Her hands slowly moved up over his broad chest feeling the constrained power within before wrapping around his neck and pulling him down closer to her.

They kissed and the world melted away. He tasted like peppermint and she slowly explored his mouth. The first contact of his lips against hers was exhilarating and sent vibrations of desire through her body. It was as if she had been numb before, waiting to be shown what it meant to be alive and now that his hands were on her and his mouth was opening to hers she was truly born anew.

His kiss was unrushed and languid, he knew what he wanted and the confidence that he would get it was sexy as fuck. She wanted to inhale and consume the majestic creature against her, but he held her at bay, licking at her lips and tongue. Finally he placed his hands firmly against her ass gripping her flesh and enjoying the curves and meat she had there. Too many girls were stick thin these days, but Paul, he liked a little flesh, something he could chew on.

Lifting her up slightly Paul pulled her against his body, making her swell against him, contouring her body to connect as much of her skin with his and possible. His mouth moved away from hers with a smile before he brought his teeth to her neck making her gasp quietly into the night air. He sucked on her, making love to her neck roughly with his mouth pulling on her skin and rubbing his tongue against her, making her raise a leg to wrap around him.

Paul was overwhelmed for a moment with the intensity of the scent of her desire. This was not the usual kind of girl he dealt with, she wasn't timid or inexperienced. He inhaled deeply, pulling the fumes of her building passion deep inside of him, inspiring his inner wolf to tear and rip at her flesh, devouring her sweet sacron-laced skin. He allowed himself to release his strict hold on his instincts just a little, just to see what it would feel like to be finally free with someone.

"You are just gorgeous" he said looking down at her as his hands snaked up under her shirt. "I want to see all of you…"

Lauren lifted her arms over her head next to the slowly dying bonfire and allowed this man who she had never met before tonight to pull her shirt over her head. He stood there, looking at her for an impossible amount of time. His chest was heaving with his passionate breath. He looked as if he was debating between devouring her and ravaging her. At the moment Lauren didn't have a preference between the two, just so long as he reached out and….

"Yes…" she hissed as Paul's lips crashed into hers again and his hand slipped inside her bra. His burning hand was calloused and rough against her breast, pinching and massaging her breast with just enough roughness to make her call out in painful pleasure.

"What do you like?" he whispered between breaths, his hands roaming her back and torso, pulling her to him as she clung to his shoulders and neck with desperation. Was it possible to have a chemical need for another person? She felt like she would die if she didn't taste him, feel him, take him. Her need was like an addiction raging in her veins culminating at the apex of her desire, making it throb.

"I don't know…" she sighed as he kissed down her neck, his hands working inside the back of her jeans to reach the soft plump flesh of her ass.

"Yes you do…tell me…" he said into her shoulder as his mouth began to work its way down her chest. She snaked her hands into his hair and pulled roughly. "Let's sit back down huh?" he suggested, standing up to his full height again and looking down at her with his harsh intensity.

"Yes…" she said before setting herself down on one of the blankets left behind. She unclasped her bra and revealed herself to the moonlight. Leaning back on her elbows her body involuntarily arched toward him, pleading for his touch. If her skin could have made an independent sound it would have been whimpering with the pain of him being so far from her.

"Take off your pants" he said, standing above her, his black eyes smoldering in the darkness. She couldn't see them clearly but his looming figure, backlit by the fire and his low gruff voice. Slowly she sat up, never taking her eyes off of his impressive figure. Coming up onto her knees she licked her lips and dipped her hands to the belt of her jeans. As she slowly undid the belt, pulling the leather threw the loops he mimicked her actions.

Eyes wide Lauren watched as he tantalized her by matching her slow pace of undressing. The slower she went in order to make him quake with desire the more she throbbed with desire to see more of him. Laurent unzipped her pants and pulled them below her hips, exposing her black lacy underwear. She hadn't dressed for this to happen tonight but was glad she'd decided to wear her nicer thong.

She knelt there in the night air, the moonlight on her pale skin looking up at the amber god that was slowly pulling down his jeans. Her breath caught as he revealed himself to her. The skin paler then the rest of him, the head already glimmering with the wetness of his excitement, Paul's nakedness was beautiful. Lauren inched closer to him, reaching out to touch his soft skin with her fingertips. Her hand on his hip encouraged her momentum and soon she was face to face with his exposed thickness.

Bringing her nose to the base of her cock she inhaled deeply, the manly smell coming from him familiar but denser, more animalistic then ever before. He stepped out of his jeans as she pulled hers off over her feet quickly. Paul's body shook softly as the need to phase passed softly through him, his excitement at her proximity to him was mind altering and threatened the thin hold he had on his physical form. Lauren's breath was hot and wet against him.

Her tongue shot out and licked the underside of his cock solidly and slowly. Head flung back Paul praised the spirits for his luck, this girl was…his thoughts faded to black as her mouth wrapped around the base of him, sucking along one side as she dragged her tongue along his full length. His hands weaved into her hair as he allowed his hips to move slowly. He heard her giggle from below him.

"You like that?" she smiled up at him, eyes teasing him almost as much as her kiss swollen lips.

"Mmmmm" he said meeting her gaze "I really do."

Holding his eyes with hers Lauren opened her mouth again and extended her tongue, allowing it to firmly pull his now pounding cock into her.

"Fuuuuuuuck..." Paul's eyes closed again as he lost himself in the sensation of her kiss. Pulling against him her perfect lips sucked at his thickness with an expertise he hadn't anticipated. She inched him into her, her tongue always pressing against his cock, encouraging him to give her more and more of himself.

"God-Fucking-…For Christ's… Sweet Fucking…" his words spilled from his mouth without thought or focus, just the musings of a man lost in the bliss of the perfect blowjob. Soon she was pulling the entire length of him into her mouth, thrusting his head into the very back of her throat in a way that would make a lesser woman gag, but she gripped his hard smooth ass and dug her nails into his skin, begging for more of what he had to offer.

Paul grabbed her head and thrust into her, feeling her teeth scrape against his sensitive skin. Lauren's hands ran up and down the backs of his muscular thighs, feeling the course hair of his legs. She pulled him closer, rising up higher on her knees to offer him a new angle. Her tongue never stopped moving. The constantly changing degree of suction and her enjoyment of the act of giving him pleasure was almost more then Paul could take. Mewling her pleasure against him she brought one hand to cup his balls.

Paul jumped with the unexpected firmness of her touch. He was about to loose control of his body and passion, the shaking started in his hands and soon his body began to vibrate as he was on the cusp of loosing himself completely in the feeling of her mouth. "Fuck Lauren…" he moaned, bending his knees and pushing even further into her. "Fuck Baby…Fuck…Ohhh…Gahhh…"

The shaking in his body spread out to all of his limbs and he surrendered to the vibrations coursing through him. He knew he risked revealing himself against all orders by allowing himself this moment of complete pleasure but there was nothing that could keep him from her now. He shook and the air around him distorted as he came with a fire that burned the lining of Lauren's throat and elicited a howl from Paul.

Lauren quickly swallowed the salty explosion as she pulled back away.

"Lauren?" a husky voice above her said. She looked out at where the sound of the waves crashing against the beach could be heard but not seen and smiled.

"Lauren? Are you Ok? I didn't hurt you did I?" Paul asked genuinely concerned that in his abandonment of reason he had done something physically to the poor girl.

"No! I'm ok" she said smiling up at him with a full contented smile.

His warm hand on her naked back surprised her with its gentleness. "Lauren, that was…amazing…" he murmured sitting behind her and pulling her against his bare skin.

"I'm glad you liked it" she smiled shyly.

Paul pulled her closer before kissing her shoulder softly at first. The taste of her skin was like vanilla toffee, exotically sweet and salty. He chewed on her neck from behind, lifting her hair out of his way so that he could pull her skin deeply into his mouth. He groaned as Lauren's body leaned back against him, giving his hands access to her full round breasts. He loved the weight of them in his hands. Soft and firm her body was the perfect contradiction of womanhood.

The night was silent as Paul explored Lauren's body with his mouth. Only the lapping ocean was with them as he laid her down and began his slow languid tasting of her skin. With his heightened senses he could tell what she liked before she moaned and was keyed in to the things she didn't like, moving on before her brain even registered her displeasure. His attention and focus on her skin had her undulating beneath him before he had even moved on from his devotion of her breasts.

With one nipple deep in his mouth and the other held securely with his strong hand Lauren pushed herself up against him, needing to feel the depths of pleasure he was driving her toward. His tongue wound around her nipple before pulling against her skin, eliciting a moan of pleasure she didn't intend to make.

Her legs came up around his hips, pulling his naked body down against the thin lace thong that was miraculously still in place. Sliding back up her body Paul positioned himself so that his length was against her center. "Fuck Baby…" he said before coming up onto his knees and looking down at her with intensity blasting off of him in waves. "Can I be in you?" he asked, certain of the answer, but needing to hear her say it.

"Yes…Paul…God…Come here…" she said, reaching out to him, as he pulled her underwear slowly down from her hips.

"Fuck..." he moaned as the scent of her assaulted his senses. She was naked and ready for him. Before he could stop himself he buried his face forcefully between her legs, making her scream with surprise at the suddenness of it. He didn't take his time, didn't let her get used to him or try to seduce her into opening for him. He licked her roughly, his animal need overriding any sense of restraint he may have had.

His hands clutched her ass and pulled her down and up slightly to his mouth, giving him full access to her open and dripping folds. He devoured her, pulling her clit and lips into his mouth while moving his tongue faster then she could imagine. His fingers pressed against her as she began to twist and writhe under him, desperate to move away so that she could breath, think, regain her composure for even just one moment.

Paul was not letting her go, his need to dominate and overpower her was an instinct he couldn't have fought if he wanted to, instead he released her with one hand and moved it to her opening.

"Paul!" Lauren screamed as he thrust two fingers into her forcefully. His hand was large and hot, breaking her open with his insistent stretching of her inner walls. His thumb took over for his tongue massaging her clit roughly, stretching it from side to side in long controlled strokes. He pulled back and watched as her desire flowed out of her. "Please…Baby…Please…" she begged him, sitting up slightly, eyes drugged with need "Please…I need you…"

Lauren raked her hands through her hair knowing that if she didn't find her release soon she was going to explode, but Paul just smiled and removed his fingers from her. Coming up between her knees he leaned down and kissed her softly.

"Lauren, I'm going to make you scream, I'm going to make you cum apart all over me over and over…Is that what you want?" his head was against her opening now, and she was wiggling down against it, trying to open for it and pull him into her. "Tell me."

"Yes…yes, that's what I want." She moaned, hands roaming his shoulders and back unconsciously.

"What…Tell me what you want" He demanded as he grabbed a condom from his jeans packet and ripped it open. The scent of her desire that was coming from every pour on her body now.

"I what you in me, I want you to make me scream." Suddenly Lauren sat up, surprising Paul with her passion. "I want you to fuck me" she said forcefully, eyes locked with his, no doubt about her willing participation.

Paul's reaction was unparalleled, he practically came from the fire in her eyes and when he plunged into her, meeting no resistance or indication of pain he allowed himself to take what he wanted. His thrusts were hard and unforgiving. Lauren couldn't keep up with the pace but allowed him to control them. He held her hips down so that she wouldn't move away from him and slammed against her flesh.

Deep inside her his body rejoiced in her tight embrace. She was wet and sweet and tight enough that he could feel the resistance as he pulled out and then sheathed himself back into her. He closed his eyes and lost all sense of time aware only of their rhythm. His sweat beaded on him body, intermingling with hers as the slickness of their bodies moved together.

Lauren planted one foot on the blanket below them and pushed the other high up around Paul's back, giving him a new angle to reach further into her. Slamming against her innermost wall he swelled and moaned. His grunts getting louder with each thrust Lauren found a deep inner pleasure in giving herself to him completely. She held on and tore at his back as her orgasm was ripped from her body, his final thrusts so forceful she could feel her opening stretching to try and accommodate his entire being.

"Lauren! Fuck…gah…Baby! …" he screamed crashing against her body, feeling the warm release of her desire rush over him, bringing him closer and closer to his own completion. He gripped her shoulders, forcing her further down into the sand below them. "Baby, Oh my…" his unspoken words hung in the air as his face contorted with pleasure. He hung there, deep inside of her, waves of joy and ecstasy passing through him. As his final spasms ripped from his body Paul dropped his weight on top of her gently.

Her hands gently rubbed his sweat soaked back, letting him relax fully against her. "That was amazing." She whispered and was rewarded with a soft kiss on the neck.

"It really was" he said lazily pulling out of her and resting on his side to look down at her. His hand tracing lazy circles on her stomach. They stayed wrapped in the warmth they had created together well into the night, until Lauren began to fall asleep, tucked against his side.

"Babe, you should get home." Paul brought his hand to her face and cupped it gently before placing a chaste kiss on her lips. They dressed slowly, stealing looks at each other and smiling. Paul was satisfied in a way he'd never expected to feel. This girl, this amazing pale faced girl was something surprising and different. Her composure and openness, her complete knowledge of herself was a gift. He considered himself lucky to have met her. She may not be his forever, she may not be someone he could ever imprint on, but she was someone that he could be happy with for a time.

Reaching out and taking her hand he smiled down at her sweetly and kissed her. This kiss was slow and smooth; full of a promise for next time.

"Come on, I'll walk you to your car." He smiled against her lips as she tried to pull him back to her. "Come on you little minx."

Lauren laughed, a warm open chuckle, the kind she didn't usually let escape her tightly controlled facade. But right now, in this moment, she was happy. The walked hand and hand to the edge of the beach and back to where her jeep was parked. Leaning against the door she looked up at Paul with hooded eyes.

"See you soon?" she asked, knowing what his answer would be making it easy not to betray how much she wanted to.

"Definitely" he said leaning down and kissing her one more time.

Paul watched as she drove away, stood out in the night air alone long after her tail lights were a distant memory, open to the world in a whole new way. He felt like his time with Lauren had given him permission to just be, just exist in the world as it was. So much of his life was spent fighting or jockeying for position within the pack, but if he could feel like this all the time, he could imagine what it might be like to someday be happy.

Turning to the woods he stripped and stepped inside the forest line. Phasing quickly as he walked Paul relished the sensation of his expanding muscles stretching and loosening into his new powerful form. Lost in his own thoughts he didn't see the woman standing a few feet inside the thickest of the trees, he didn't notice when she walked slowly up to him. He did however notice when she kicked him in the head with her strong powerful leg.

"What the _fuck_ are you doing?" Leah screamed, demanding Paul look up at her. Tonight though, he was open to the possibilities and Leah's passion was boiling from her sudden jealousy. The imprint that occurred was followed almost immediately by the howling of their first mating.


	25. Chapter 25

I stood just outside his door trying to get my bearings. The tightness in my chest was returning but I didn't know why, all I wanted was on the other side of this door but I couldn't make myself open it. It was like all the time apart and all the pain I'd been through was weighing down on me at once in this moment. Jacob was somehow all I needed and the only thing left that I was afraid of.

I steadied myself against the wall, listening to my breath and knowing that it was flowing with the same rhythm as his. I closed my eyes and felt my pulse, knowing that his heart beat to the same rhythm.

"Bella" the low rough voice I loved said from the doorway.

I opened my eyes and looked up at him, seeing him completely for the first time. No matter how much I had thought I had loved Jacob before this moment it didn't compare to what I felt now. Looking at him the tightness in my chest swelled and overwhelmed me. The depth of my love for him flowed out of me, more then one person, one body could possibly contain. I could see the goodness in him, the strength and love radiated from his features as if he had a visible aura.

"Babe?" he said softly, his dark eyes begging me to answer him. He didn't move, needing me to cross the expanse and show him that I was really here. We stood silently in the narrow hallway readjusting to being together. The heat of his skin reached out and licked at my clothes, pulling me to him. I stepped forward without thinking, the need to touch him the only thought on my mind.

"Jake…" I whispered as I came close looking up at his tall frame. I reached up to his face and cupped his cheek pulling him down to me. He placed a soft kiss on my lips before inhaling deeply and wrapping his arms roughly around me.

"You're ok?" he breathed into my hair.

"Yeah, I am" my hands held on to his shoulders as if he might disappear if I stopped touching him.

"You're really here?"

"Jake" I pulled away slightly so that I could look at him "I'm here, I'm not going anywhere, I promise, I'm not going away." My hands kneaded the back of his neck as I kissed him then with the full force of how much I had missed him.

In a flash I was against the wall, my back pressed into the sheetrock and my feet off the ground. His tongue was in my mouth as he pulled my legs up around him.

"Bells" he moaned as he licked at my lips, his hands roaming my body quickly as if he were trying to memorize every inch.

"Qwoli…" my head fell back as his lips moved to my neck. His kisses were unrestrained and passionate but never rough. He kissed me and pushed his body against mine with so much love I could never doubt that what he needed from me was so much more then physical.

"I love you" one of us whispered as he returned to my lips and began to move his hips against me, the hardness of his erection pushing against me.

"Are you, is this ok?" he asked suddenly remembering that I had recently been through hell…again.

"Yes" I smiled and pushed him away. Standing on my own two feed again I placed my hands on his chest. "Jake, don't push me away again ok? I'm here; I'm here as long as you'll keep me. I can't take anymore of all this…bullshit."

He pulled me against his chest, hugging me tightly "I won't…I promise, I won't. Bells I'm never letting go of you again. Charlie's going to be lucky if I even let you go home tonight!"

I chuckled into his chest and slipped my hands under the back of his tee-shirt, needing to feel his skin. I ran my hands up his strong back, feeling the thick cords of muscle along either side of his spine. He shivered as I let my nails drag down his skin softly.

"Bells…" he moaned against the top of my head as his arms relaxed around me and his hands moved lower down my hips. "I have missed you so much."

We moved into his room and sat on the bed. He looked at me for a long time, but instead of becoming the self-conscious girl I usually was I sat calmly, letting him see me. He picked up my hand and brought my wrist to his mouth. Kissing my tattoo he inhaled deeply and smiled beneath hooded eyes.

"It really is beautiful" he said, kissing my wrist again, and then the palm of my hand before placing it on his chest, over his heart. "Like you."

While one hand held mine against him the other came up to my face and traced the now permanent lines on my face. "I'm sorry…I should have been there" he whispered.

"No" leaning my cheek into his touch I closed my eyes and told him all of the truths I had learned while I was away from him. That I was incomplete before, that I couldn't have been his mate that I wasn't a whole person on my own. I told him about the tattoo and about my sisters. I told him about my pain.

"I never…" he began and I opened my eyes.

"It's not about you Jake. All of this, this was about me, about me becoming the person I needed to be, and…the person you needed me to be. I could have never been yours, not really without this."

"It's just, so awful. I hate that that leech hurt you!" his anger and pain intermingled in the air around us.

"But I'm ok, and…Jake, I wasn't alone. You were there with me. Us…our…whatever we are was there with me. And the thunderbird."

"What?"

"She was there. She…helped me…I don't know how to explain it but" I pulled my hand away from his skin and turned my wrist over and saw the thunderbird curled in on itself on my wrist. You would think she was asleep except for the satisfied grin on her face. "Somehow she's part of me now and she gave me the strength to kill Victoria, to come back to you. That's all we wanted. Qwoli, all we wanted was to be here with you!"

"When did you start calling me that?" Jake's face was suddenly serious.

"What? Oh, I don't know."

"Do you know what that word means, did you like, look it up or something?"

"No…I…that's just who you are" I knew the name was Jake's it was him as much a Jacob or Alpha or Mate.

"Bells, that's the Quileute word for wolf, but…used as a name…it's the name of the Wolf Spirit that gives us our form, it's a really powerful name, we usually only use it when someone is pulling on the spirit world for wisdom or strength."

"The pack called you Qwoli today…have they ever done that before?"

"No…I hadn't noticed."

"That's because it's who you are! It's…Jake; remember you told me some people had more wolf in them then others, that the blood lines or what not were stronger with some of you."

"Yeah"

"I don't know what it is, but that's who you are. Jake, your eyes…it's got have something to do with that…With you being Alpha"

"Bella, that doesn't make any sense. I mean, I'm not the Alpha."

"No?" I asked, knowing that he was.

"No…I'm not mated." He looked away from me then, suddenly shy about bringing that up.

"Yes you are." I reached out to him, pulling myself closer to him and throwing my legs over his. "Look at me" his eyes lifted up and met him, the glint of gold sparkling in his chocolate eyes. "Do you doubt it? I don't."

"But we haven't…"

"Jake, do you really think I'm not marked? Do you really think I'm not yours?" his fingers stroked my wrist, feeling the scar behind the tattoo. He leaned in and kissed me and the electric pulse that always coursed through me when we touched made me gasp with the intensity of it. His lips were soft as he kissed my mouth before moving to my face and kissing the marks on my cheek. I was marked, marked for everyone to see.

"This is where she scratched you" he breathed.

"When I found the strength to come back to you…"

"Q'wakili put something on them…" he continued.

"…to mark me…"

He kissed me again, his mouth warm as I slid my tongue between his lips. The pleasure that ran through my body at the taste of him made me shake slightly with needing more. Always more.

"Jake…" I sighed pulling away from him and taking off the shirt he had covered me with this morning. Leaning over me Jake positioned us back on his bed, his weight on his elbow he continued to kiss me with methodical slowness as his other hand ran along my side, feeling every rib, every pore with his fingers until finally he palmed my breast making me arch up against him.

He moaned as he lowered his weight onto me, allowing his erection to find me. As his skin came into contact with mine, my mouth latched onto his shoulder, tasting the dark saltiness of his skin. I chewed on his shoulder as my hands roamed his back, feeling the strength and power under his skin as he moved himself against me.

"God" I moaned sitting up slightly, making him pull back from me.

"What? Babe, are you ok?" the worry in his face was so sincere, so sweet.

"Yes! God! Jake! Just…take of your pants!" He balked, shocked at my words before he roared with laughter. His deep voice filled with joy. With a smile he stood up and undressed, never taking his eyes from mine. I shimmied out of the dirty jeans I was still wearing and laid back on his bed.

His smile was dark and his eyes were overtaken with the yellow that I had come to love. "T'ist'ilal" he growled as he crawled over me.

"Qwoli" I moaned without though as I reached up to him and pulled his body down against mine.

"I love you…forever…without thought." He looked down at me with such intensity that for a moment I forgot to breathe. The soft light filtering in on us from the window outlined his body making it look like his skin was glowing.

"I love you" I said holding his gaze "I always have, always will, till the end of time."

I pulled my knees up around him, opening myself to him, letting him know I was ready. Without breaking the connection flowing between us as we looked into each other he moved slightly and slid himself slowly into me.

Gasping with the joy of having him inside of me a tear escaped from my eyes. I lifted my hips, bringing him deeper into me. This was the moment, the moment you can't go back from. Whatever we had been, whatever we were together or apart making love this morning was solidifying everything we already knew to be true. My hands held onto his strong back as my head fell back. His kisses against my neck sent slivers of sensation down my body, meeting at the place where he moved inside of me.

Behind my eyes I could see my thunderbird dancing in the sky, eyes shining like the sun. She swayed in the air enjoying the feeling of the wind under her wings. Jake and I moved together, meeting each other's desires before the other had a chance to want something. Our bodies and souls merging.

I opened my eyes and brought my hands to Jake's pecs as he moved above me with more force pushing us further into oblivion. I was moaning and calling out to him but couldn't hear myself. All I was aware of was the growing growl coming from the man above me. He moved faster inside of me, deeper still, pushing against the end of me, I could feel him in my womb, in my heart, in my toes.

"Fuck…" I moaned as I clutched at his ass, pulling at him and lifting myself against his body. "Fuck Jake!"

We rolled slightly to the side as my body torqued away from the intense pleasure he was filling me with.

"Bella, my Bells, fuck, you're, fuck…" he grasped my hips and thrust up into me, making me scream with the shock of feeling him so deep.

Pulling him back onto me, I wrapped my legs around his hips and held on; I was outside of myself and could watch as we moved together, our heat bringing us up to new heights. I needed something, something more. I felt I was headed toward black out. The light behind my eyes blazed and blinded me to everything but Jake's skin; my hands, my mouth, my cunt, my nails every part of me searched for more of him.

As he ground against me moving his hips at impossible new angles his hands wrapped under me, pulling us closer together. My lips met his shoulder and I felt my teeth graze his skin as he began to moan and grunt in rhythm with our movements.

"Qwoli!" a voice that wasn't mine called out as he slammed into me and held still, deep in me, the throbbing of my insides clenching and pulling at him as he roared. Suddenly my teeth sunk into his skin and I felt as the soft flesh of his shoulder gave way to me.

I bit down with force as my hips slammed up against his still form demanding release. He shook and pulled away from my latch on him slightly before slamming into me one, two, three more times, making us both scream and wail with the intensity of our final release.

As we lay together, chests heaving, Jacob kissed my shoulder, licked at my neck, rubbed my hips, he couldn't stay still or keep his hands off of me. Behind my eyes the light flickered before blinding me with its intensity. As it faded I could see the thunderbird again.

She swooped in the air drifting slowly down to a field where she met a large red wolf standing atop a boulder. She landing on the ground and placed her large head against the wolf's side. I felt the crushing depth of her pain. "_Someday…"_ I heard the voice within me that wasn't mine say…

"We'll be together…" Jake whispered above me. His eyes flashing white as I looked up to him.

I stroked his face allowing the ancient love that we were connected to to flow between us. His smile was sad with knowledge and yearning as he looked down at me before kissing me slowly. When he finally broke away his eyes were normal again and the ache of sadness that had overcome me was gone.

"Jake?" I asked.

"T'ist'ilal…Bella…" I smiled at him knowing that he had felt what I had and that within us now was not only our love, but the love of the spirits we were connected to who through us had finally be able to be together.

"I love you…" I said running my hands across his shoulder.

"I know." He smiled his playful Jake smile "You marked me!" he looked over at his shoulder where the bit was already healed but a small scar had been left behind.

"I guess I did!" I laughed. He pulled out of me, leaving an emptiness behind that would remain until we were together again.

"I don't think it's supposed to work that way." He teased. "I mean I'm the Alpha right?"

"Oh…taking the mantle already are we? I guess you want to run off to your pack?" rolling onto my side I propped myself on my shoulder and looked down at his beautiful body.

"Hmmm…not quite yet." He closed his eyes and sighed deeply, contentment rolling off of him.

"I bet I can guess what you need." I smiled, trailing my nails over his chest, unable to keep from touching his skin.

"Oh really?" he opened his eyes a slit and raised an eyebrow.

"Definitely….lunch." I kissed him quickly and stood up "Come on, I'll make you your 3lbs of meat and if you're good I'll let you eat it on a plate instead of a bowl in the yard."

"Bells…" he said, suddenly serious again.

"What?" I smiled, not picking up on the change in his mood as I slipped on a pair of his boxers I found on the floor.

"Did it hurt?"

"What? Being with you? No! Not at all, I wasn't really a virgin anymore you know." I teased turning back to him, his face a serious and hard as he looked at me.

"What?" I asked.

"I'm glad but that's not what I meant." He pulled himself up to a sitting position and slid his legs off of the bed. His hand reached out to me and I was pulled to his invitation like a magnet to its mate. His touch pulled me down to his lap and he turned me away from him so that he could finally inspect the healed burns on my back.

A muted growl escaped his throat as he traced one of them with his finger. I pulled away from his touch instinctively, the sensitive skin shocked by the sensation of his touch.

"Do the hurt?"

"No, they're just…sensitive."

He leaned forward and kissed one of them, sending electric shocks through my body at the amplification of his touch.

"I know what you said, and I understand but…" he leaned his forehead against my back and sighed deeply, his breath across the scars soft and warm. "I just hate it…that you were hurt…I can't imagine what would make marks like this."

"Don't…don't imagine it." I turned and looked down at his tearful eyes. "Let's get lunch, let's go see Sam and maybe…I don't know…rent a movie or something and just be together tonight ok?"

"How can you just let it go? Be Ok?"

"Because I'm with you, I'm where I'm meant to be and I know who I am and what I want and for the first time in my entire life I'm completely at peace with that. I love you Jacob Black, my Qwoli, my Pup…I love you and nothing else matters so please, let's just get up huh?"

His smile was resigned but there was a determination in his eyes that was new. This was a part of it I knew, a part of why I had to get hurt was to teach him the importance of his role, as Alpha I wasn't the only one he needed to protect and the weight of that responsibility to weigh heavy on him. To be a good leader it would have to. I watched as he aged before me, the pride and conviction necessary for a good leader solidifying in his features.

I was proud of him, I was proud of me. We had come through this, we'd learned the things we were intended to learn and we'd become the people we needed to be. Now we just had to learn how to be these people while still being us. I smiled down at him and kissed his forehead.

"I love you…so much…come on." I stood up and threw on one of his shirts and walked to the door. I could feel him watching me and the further away from him I got the feeling of incompleteness returned. "Come on, get dressed." I said back to him before going out to the kitchen and hunting in the refrigerator for some lunch.

"So woman, what are you feeding me?" A smiling Jacob said wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing my neck.

"Woman?" I raised an eyebrow as I turned in his arms.

"Girl?" he smiled impishly.

"Dog." I punched him lightly so I didn't hurt myself and pulled away from him. "There is NOTHING to eat in here."

"I know, I haven't been doing a good job keeping up with taking care of Dad and the pack and everything else." He leaned against the counter.

"Looks like you might need the help of a _woman."_ I teased.

"No, Bells, I don't expect you to do that."

"Really? You don't think you could use some help with your Dad and the pack? You think maybe having me as a mate meant we were going to just go to the movies and have sex every other Thursday?"

"I was hoping for more like every Thursday…" he smiled down at me.

"I want more then that…" I touched him again. "I don't know how I'm even going to stand to be away from you for a night, let alone all day."

"I feel the same way Bells." He sighed pulling me to him and resting his chin on my head. The easy sway of our bodies standing together came like a warm breeze. "We'll figure it all out, we don't have to today, but we will. Maybe, I don't know, we should really get married so your Dad understands what we are…"

I scoffed before realizing what I had done, my instinctual reaction to marriage rearing its head.

"Fuck Bells, that was harsh." He said dropping his hands.

"Sorry…" I said looking up at him "I just, I'm not that girl you know? The girl who gets married while she's still in high school."

"You're not?" he asked raising an eyebrow.

"Crap. I am aren't I?" I said stepping back away from him and sitting at the kitchen table.

"Yup" contentment radiated from Jacob.

"When did that happen?"

"Bells…umm…remember when you BIT me?" he laughed coming over to sit on the table next to me.

"Yeah" I smiled despite myself because despite what my brain was telling me, the rest of me was happy.

"So, you see we're already married and my Dad and the pack know it, it's only fair to let your Dad know."

"Can we just tell him we eloped?"

"Sure, if you want, but I don't think he'd be very happy about it…" he looked up into the air and we were quiet for a few minutes thinking about what/if all of this would mean in the real world.

"Ok…" I began and his eyes came down to me with eagerness. "Wait…if we're going to do this, and I'm not completely sure we are, but if we do we have to do it right ok? You have to like go talk to Charlie because he'd get a big kick out of that or maybe he'll shoot you…"

"Really?" he interrupted hopping off of the table. "You aren't going to like totally change your mind and freak out are you?"

"I didn't say yes" I scolded with a smile, knowing that in reality I had.

"Ok…no…you totally did…ok…wait here!" Jacob ran off back into the house stumbling over his feet as he went, making me laugh at how clumsy he could be when he was excited.

The phone rang while he was out of the room and I answered in quickly.

"Black Residence"

"Bella?" a familiar voice said from the other end.

"Yes…"

"Hey, uhh it's Sam."

"Oh hi!"

"Hey"

"You want Jake? He'll be right back."

"No that's, I can just tell you, um Emily was thinking we should all get together you know celebrate tonight."

"Celebrate?" I asked.

"Yeah, you being ok and you and Jake… and Jake being Alpha now." Sam said quickly.

"Oh…"

"So you should come over when Jake comes by later and Em can loan you some clothes if you don't have any and we can all I don't know do the bonfire thing or something."

"Sam? You ok?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm great."

"Are you sure? You sound…strained."

"I'm just anxious to talk to Jake, you know, clear everything out, no biggie."

"Ok…"

"Really Bella, I'm good. And I'm really happy for you."

"Thanks, I am too" I smiled into the air.

"Who's that?" Jake asked from behind me, making me squeal and jump at the unexpected sound.

"Scaredy-Cat." He joked.

"Big Bad Wolf" I turned and thrust the phone in his chest. "Sam."

"Hey Sam…yeah…yeah…oh cool…yeah that'd be great…no, ah…I think we're gonna run by her place now and then we'll come over if that's cool…yeah…ha, exactly…no brother, we're cool…we'll work it all out, I'm not stressing it…yeah, that sounds good…thanks…I appreciate you doing that…ok….talk to you later."

"So we're going to my place?" I asked as soon as he hung up.

"Yup."

"Why?"

"You know why"

"Today? Really? Jake…" I whined.

"Yes, today." He smiled leaving no room for argument. "Come on Bells, let's get you home so you can throw some clothes on. Charlie isn't going to be happy with you wearing that."

"Let me throw my jeans back on."

"Your ripped bloody jeans? I don't think that would impress him either." He smiled snaking his arm around my waist. "So, you wanna take the car or the bike?" he looked down at my bare feet and smiled.

"How about we run?"

"Really?"

"Yeah, I haven't seen Pup in a while at least not when we're happy."

Jake practically started vibrating in the living room as his wolf begged to get out to see me. "Ok, you carry my clothes so I'm presentable when we see Charlie?"

"Sure" I smiled as he stripped in the living room, again tripping over his own feet in his haste. "Be careful with this" he said handing me a wooden box that had been in his pocket.

"What is it?" I scowled at him.

"You know what it is, just shut up and don't open it" he smiled pulling his underwear off and bouncing out into the yard. "Come on!" he called while I found a canvas bag to shove his clothes into.

Outside Pup was waiting for me, prancing back and forth in the yard. "Yip!" he called when he saw me and came bounding over to me.

"Hi Baby!" I said wrapping my arms around his neck.

He nuzzled in to me before pulling back and licking my face.

"God, I hate it when you do that." I laughed and Pup smiled his big goofy smile.

"I know it's just you in there Jake, but I feel like I haven't seen you in forever. I'm so happy to see you!"

"Yip!" he said backing away from me and bringing his nose to my cheek. I kissed his muzzle and scratched his face eliciting and purr of pleasure from the giant wolf I loved.

"Are you ready to go?"

"Yip!"

"You're very proud of yourself aren't you, getting me to go along with all of this."

"Yip!" he smiled his wide toothy grin, tongue lolling out to the side.

"I love you" I laughed before walking around to his side and using his fur to climb up on his back when he lay down. "Giddy-up" I called down to him and kicked his ribs with my heels. I could practically feel Jake rolling his eyes and then we were speeding through the woods, my hands dug deep into his fur, my hair swept back by the movement of the air, my joy overtaking me as I leg myself go into the exhilaration of running with Pup and feeling his strength beneath me. For a moment I was able to forget where we were going, and what Jake was going to talk to Charlie about…


	26. Chapter 26

**Hello Darlings! I know I had said I wasn't sure how much more there would be but I have recently gotten all inspired again so there will be quite a bit more I think. I just love this Jake and Bella and I'm not ready to let go of Pup yet. So let the games begin. I hope you enjoy this! -Pav**

* * *

Walking through the front door in clothes that Jake grabbed from my room for me, I kept my hair over my face. The LAST thing Charlie needed was to see that I now had a tattoo on my FACE and it wasn't really in a place that was easy to disguise. So I kept my thumbs slipped in the holes in my long sleeve shirt and my hair over my face as I grunted my hello to Charlie and got a glass of water.

"Hey Jake, glad to see you back around here." Charlie shook Jake's hand gruffly and pulled him into a hug. "Next time one of you should call though. I was worried as hell until Billy let me know what was going on."

I walked back into the room drinking my water and leaned against the wall. Jake looked over at me and raised an eyebrow. Dropping my eyes I took another sip; I wasn't about to help him out with this. If he wanted to talk to Charlie today then talk away, but I wasn't in the mood after everything that had happened in the last 24 hours.

"Sorry, Dad."

"S'alright, I know you're eighteen now and all that, but you still live here. And as glad as I am that you two seem to have worked things out, I'm not really keen on the co-ed sleepover thing."

"Dad..."

"Nope, don't wanna know, just wanna say my piece and be glad you're alright."

"Okay." I smiled up at him, my hand itching to push the hair out of my face.

We stood silently in the in-between place that every home has but can't define. And as we stood there, the moment was an in-between moment as well; we were at a crossroad, in between a world where I was Charlie's daughter and another, much more frightening world, where I was Jacob's wife.

"Alright, well if you two want to stand here all day I'm going to go finish the game," Charlie said turning back to the living room. "You stayin' Jake?"

"Wait, uh, Chief Swan?" Jacob said, surprisingly not calling my father by his first name.

Charlie of course noticed and turned with a raised eyebrow. "What is it boy?" he asked.

"Uhh, I was just; I was hoping we could…have a minute." Jacob looked at me, desperation in his eyes which made me chuckle under my breath before going back into the kitchen to put my glass into the dishwasher. Nope, I was definitely not helping him with this one. I could hear Jake stammering about nothing coherent in the background.

"Bells?" My father called out.

"Yeah Dad?" I said coming back out.

"Do you know what the hell this boy is going on about?"

"No idea, sorry." I winked at Jacob as I turned my back on my father. "I'm gonna run upstairs, you boys have a nice chat." I walked out of the room leaving my father's eyes drawn together in a frown and Jacob's mouth hanging open like a Venus fly trap. I stifled my laugh until I got upstairs.

In the bathroom, I washed my face and brushed my teeth. My body was surprisingly free of bruises and scrapes. It was hard to conceive of the fact that it was only a few hours ago that I had been running through the river bank barefoot and bleeding. Things could change so fast, and there really was no way to see it coming. When life had a trajectory planned out, sometimes all you could do was hang on and hope like hell that you landed on your feet.

Coming out into the hall I heard my father's first outburst. "You're seventeen God damn years old!" he bellowed, making me smile again. If Jake wanted to be Alpha he was definitely going to have to pass the father test!

In my room I used the phone to check my voice mail. My cell was still sitting in my car back at the school along with all of my books and homework for the weekend. Twenty-seven new messages. Well crap.

Message 1: _Bella, this is Edward, are you ok? You never came back after English. Call me and just let me know you're okay. No questions I promise._

Message 2: _Bella, this is Edward. School's been out for two hours and you're not at home, are you okay? _

Message 3: _Bella_ I hit delete at the sound of Edward's voice. As well as for messages 4-11

Message 12: _Bella, this is your Father, I finally found your cell phone number after calling Angela, Jessica, Lauren, Alice, Mike, Jake, Kim and a hundred and seventy other residents of Forks. Where the hell are you? Call me young lady because you are in some serious trouble._

Message 13: _Bella, I'm getting sick with worry, please love, call me. _ Fucking Edward…again.

Message 14: _Isabella Marie_ - I hung up at the beginning of my father's tirade.

Messages 15-19: Edward

Downstairs I heard another bellowing yell and smiled to think of what my Father could be saying to Jake. I probably really should go down there and see what was going on, put Jacob out of his misery, but for some reason I found the whole thing far too funny.

Message 20: _Bella, it's Angela, you're Dad called here like four times, I know you've been upset and we haven't talked much but, just call and let me know what's up. Whenever you get this. Thanks, I love you._ Ok, so that call I would probably return.

Messages 21-26: Edward

Message 27: _Bella, its Alice. I'm so glad that it finally happened. When you get this, when you're ready, come home. We're waiting for you._

What was that supposed to mean? Couldn't Alice see that I wasn't a vampire? No...I'd been with Jake, she couldn't see Jake. Could she see _me _anymore? What was I now?

So the Cullen's thought I was a vampire now; they thought I must be one of them. Alice had seen me with Victoria, had seen my eyes turn yellow. I wonder if she'd told Edward in time for him to come find me or if she'd kept it to herself, letting what she thought was meant to be play out. Either way that explains why Edward stopped calling. I'd have to deal with that…I'd have to call them or talk to him, but how do you have that conversation? _Hi, I know you were all excited that I was dead, but sorry; I'm actually possessed by some ancient Native American deity!_ That wasn't going to go well.

Downstairs I heard another bellowing yell and I desperately wished I could be a fly on the wall. Hey! I looked down at my wrist.

"Come on little bird, flutter on down there and see what's going on." I looked at the Thunderbird who fluttered her wings ever so slightly; just enough to let me know she'd heard me but not enough that anyone would believe that my tattoo had just moved.

"Please? Come on, you know you're dying to know what they're saying." She shrugged and pulled one wing over her head.

"Damn it what's the good of having my own supernatural mascot if you won't help me spy on my fiancé?" She looked out at me and winked before closing her eyes and solidifying back into ink and skin.

"Crap," I said to myself.

I spent the next hour in my room. I wasn't sure who I was punishing at this point but damn it if I was going down there now! What could Jake and my Dad possibly be talking about? I snuck out into the hall and could hear Jake's voice speaking too softly for me to hear.

I called Angela and let her know I was okay and just needed some time and I was sorry I'd worried her. I told her I went out to La Push, and that Jake and I were back together, and then we caught up some on what I'd missed during my brief but dramatic withdrawal from life. That was Ange though; you could fall back into normalcy with her like nothing had happened.

I did some homework amidst various unintelligible outbursts from below until eventually I just couldn't stand it anymore. I snuck out into the hall just to see what the hell was going on down there.

"What the hell are you waiting for? Come on old man! Just do it!" I heard Jacob holler downstairs and went into total shock. What could he possibly be yelling that at my father for? What, was he going to shoot him or hit him or something? Had I let this go on for too long?

I started downstairs just long enough to hear my father curse, "You little shit!" and then there was a crash as someone threw something in the living room.

"I can't believe you just DID that!" Jake cried as I ran down the stairs just in time to see the two of them falling all over each other laughing as soda ran down the wall next to the television.

"You are watching the game?" I screamed, still unable to get over the initial shock of them fighting.

"Well yeah! It's really brutal." Jake said over his shoulder as my father got up with a fist full of napkins and started mopping off the wall.

"Did you talk to him?" I mouthed.

"Yeah! Yeah, no worries, but you know, you're probably going to have to have one of those uncomfortable parent talks later." He smiled as my father turned around red as a beet.

"No, no I don't think that's necessary," He said looking at me as I glared at him "Well, you never came back and we didn't know what you were doing up there…so…"

"So you just let me think the two of you were killing each other down here?" I put my hands on my hips and scolded both of them, making the two men break out into another fit of laughter as if they were the kids and I was the adult.

"Jesus Christ," I said turning my back on them and going into the kitchen.

Jake ran in after me. "Come on, don't be mad. You left me down here to fend for myself, it seemed only right to make you sweat it out a little." He smiled pulling me into his arms.

"You really are an ass sometimes."

"I'm not the one who bailed!"

"So I take it he's okay with everything?"

"Yeah, and I told him about the bonfire tonight so you can stay with me again tonight." He smirked and kissed me quickly smirking.

"Really?" I couldn't believe my father would just let me stay with Jake tonight.

"Come on, you doubt my powers of parental persuasion? Besides, I promised to be a gentleman."

"If he believed you he clearly doesn't know you as well as he thinks he does." Raising an eyebrow, I looked at Jake who just smiled broadly.

"Why shouldn't he? Besides, Charlie likes me better then he likes you."

I smacked Jake in the arm and went out to the living room. Leaning over the couch I wrapped my arms around my father. "Thanks, Dad."

"Congratulations, kiddo," he sighed and put his arms over mine. We stayed that way for a moment and I closed my eyes breathing him in. No matter what else I may be, I was still a Daddy's girl. We might not touch or say it much, but he really did mean the world to me.

"But _you _have to tell your mom," he said, pulling me out of my thoughts, "and if you turn out to be pregnant, I'm going to kill both of you." He said with a smile.

"Fair enough, I'll call her tomorrow and I promise, I'm not."

"Okay then, and you have to finish school. We can talk about college and what you kids are going to do about the rest of your lives later, but high school's non-negotiable. And you live here until you graduate."

"Those are all reasonable conditions." I kissed him quickly. "I love you," I whispered, hugging him tightly.

"I love you too Bells, and Jake's a good guy. You keep him in line and you'll be happy. I know you will." His voice caught as he spoke, and I knew the moment had gotten just a little too intimate for my father when he pulled away and grabbed his beer.

"All right, get the hell out of here you two. Sam's probably waiting on you as it is." He lay back on the couch and put his legs up where Jake had been sitting, making it clear he wasn't interested in having us stick around.

"Okay, Charlie," Jake said taking my hand. "Did you call my Dad? Does he have a ride up here later?"

"Yeah, yeah, he and Harry are coming over and bringing fish fry. It'll be a wild night at the Swan residence tonight. Good thing you kids won't be home; never know what might go down."

"Sure, sure," Jake laughed as we walked out the door hand in hand.

Outside he pulled me into a tight embrace. "We should go get your truck, huh?"

"Yeah, probably, it's at the school."

"Ok, we can run there." He smiled down at me and came in for a kiss.

"What did you say to my Dad?" I asked pulling back.

"If you really wanted to know you would have stuck around." He teased and kissed me on the head.

"Come on, that's totally unfair."

"Nope, you made me sit there by myself and talk to him so you're just not going to get to know."

"That's what you're supposed to do, _remember_? You're the big strong Alpha male, all claiming his mate." I made what I hoped was a strong, serious masculine face but only managed to make Jake loosen his hold on me so that he could clutch at his sides laughing.

"Fine." I pouted.

"But I did get his blessing…" he said finally said catching his breath. Standing on my front porch in the afternoon sun, Jacob Black was positively glowing.

"I kind of guessed that." I smiled up at him. "Are you ready?"

"Yeah…I am," he said dropping to one knee and pulling that small wooden box out of his pocket.

"Jake…" I breathed as the moment closed in around us until we were the only two people in the world, in the universe.

"Bella, my T'ist'ilal, I have loved you since before either of us was born. I have loved you since before our fathers or our grandfathers took their first breath. You are the love of my life, you are everything to me; the entire world disappears when I look at you." He opened the box and took out an ancient silver ring with an off white…something on it. It wasn't a stone.

I looked at Jake in question. "It's a whale tooth."

He placed it on my ring finger slowly and stood up, my hand still in his. "The thunderbird, do you remember the legend? She saved the tribe by bringing them a whale during a famine…my mom had this ring for years and I think she'd like you to have it."

He cleared his through as his eyes misted talking about his mother. "Her grandfather made it for her when she was young, back when the tribe still hunted whales." His eyes were locked on the ring as he stroked my fingers.

"Wow…" I said stupidly, lost for words.

"It just seemed, I mean I know it's not a diamond and we can get one of those, but this seemed…right somehow."

"It's perfect." Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pulled him down to me and kissed him. I kissed my answer into him and breathed the clean air that hung around us. Pure, that's what this moment was; pure and untainted - our love was a kind of perfection.

Pulling back I looked closer at the ring and saw that there was a thunderbird carved on it, a design that matched my tattoo. "It's perfect."

My tears fell softly. "It's absolutely perfect"

"Really?" His eyes twinkled.

"Yeah."

He kissed me again, more passionately this time, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling my body into his. As he slipped his tongue into my mouth I responded without thinking, molding myself against his form, pulling myself as close to him as I could get. We kissed and moaned on my father's front stoop like teenagers on a first date until we reached the moment of decision; we needed to either stop or find someplace to take off all our clothes.

"Come on," he said, taking my hand and walking back toward the woods. Behind the tree line he stopped and stripped, stuffing his clothes into the bag we had left there before phasing into the magnificent wolf I loved so much.

Smiling, I remembered back to the first time I'd met him. "Pup, how did you know I needed you that day in the woods?" He shrugged and looked at me with deep eyes.

"I don't believe you didn't know. I don't believe this all happened just by chance. How could you? How? How is it possible that you would be the one who saved me, that you would be Jake, that this all started the day I saw you kill a man and then...here we are?" I smiled at him and brought my hand to his jaw, scratching the soft fur.

"Love you," I had kissing his muzzle.

"Yip!" He brought his giant head into the crook of my neck. With both arms wrapped around him, I sighed and breathed in deeply. I lost myself into the scent of him, woods and love and mine.

We stood there, embracing again, reveling in our connection so deeply that neither of us heard it when my father stepped out on the back porch. Neither of us heard him yell for me to get away as he pumped his shot gun and ran across the yard.

I didn't hear it until the shot was fired and the impact threw Jacob back into the tree behind us.

"No!" I screamed turning and shielding as much of his large body with mine as I could, the pain in his side screaming within my own as I stood before my father.

"Back away, Bella!" he called, running closer to me.

"No! Dad, No!" I screamed as he raised his shotgun again and aimed at the wolf's head. I threw myself over Pup's body, blocking his head and heart by lying on top of him, allowing my body to be the only protection I could offer.

"What the hell are you doing? Bella!" My father screamed, fear blazing in his eyes as he looked at me over the barrel.

My arms stretched out over Jake, covering him completely, the Thunderbird's wings a shadow over my small frame now large enough to protect all of him.

"Dad, please...it's Jake, please!"

Howls broke through the silence hanging around us in the distance as Jake lifted his head in pain. The gun went off again above our heads and the look on my father's face was murderous.

"Where is Jake? Did that thing...? Bella! Move damn it! I can't get a shot!"

"Dad STOP!" I screamed and my eyes burned as the world turned a golden hue around me.

The howls got closer and Pup lifted himself up, trying to stand behind me but his leg gave out as he grunted in pain. Stepping toward my father I held my arms out so that the wings would remain between my father and my lover.

"Dad..." I said stepping out of the trees where he could see me clearly, my eyes burning yellow, the tattoo on my face standing out it sharp contrast with my pale skin, the air around me shimmering.

"What the hell...?" he said lowering his shotgun slightly.

"Dad stop, please. I'm alright."

"What's the...your eyes...that thing had you...that...wolf...your eyes..."

He was quickly descending into shock as the gun dropped to the ground and he stepped away from me.

"I'm fine, Dad. Come on, it's okay." I walked to him quickly, calling the Thunderbird back to me now that the gun was no longer a threat. As the shadow pulled tightly around me my father shuddered and shook his head.

"Bella..." Jake moaned behind me, pulling us both out of the moment to see the naked man lying on the ground in the trees.

"What is...?" Charlie stuttered but I turned from him and ran to Jake's body, knowing that shifting back must have caused him a great deal of pain.

"Baby, I'm right here."

"Of course I am." He smiled up at me with a wince. "It'll be fine in a minute - just...just give it a second and the bullet with work it's way out, I just...I just have to rest."

"Dad!" I turned to look at the hallow face of my father who was having to accept so many things as real all at once.

The impact of finding out the world was nothing like you thought it was could turn your existence on its head. Or, if you were like me, you could shake your head and move on to the next thing you needed to do, which is exactly what Charlie did.

He looked at me, confusion and pain in the grim set of his mouth but he walked closer, and when I told him what we needed to do, he lifted Jake's body without a word and carried him back into the house. The howls were coming closer and I knew the pack would smell the blood in the woods; they would know that something had gone very very wrong this morning. But I couldn't deal with that until they got here.

Grabbing Jake's clothes, I brushed my hair back and pulled up the sleeves of my shirt. I guess my father was going to insist on a more serious version of the conversation Jake had thought was over.

In the house Jake was lying on the couch covered with the old quilt that usually sat on the back of her father's leather chair. It was something someone had made, I couldn't remember who. Charlie returned from upstairs with a wet washcloth to put on Jake's forehead and another one to hand to me.

"So, ahh, do we call the ambulance? The emergency vet? What?" he said looking anywhere but at me.

"No, he'll be fine. The guys will be here in a minute. Just let them in," I said taking the washcloth and walking over to Jake whose eyes were closed in pain, but he seemed better already now that he was inside and lying comfortably.

"What guys?" Charlie asked as I lifted the quilt and wiped the blood from Jake's abdomen, seeing that the wound was already closing but the bullet hadn't come out yet. Crap... I couldn't let it close up in there, who knew what damage it could do or where it would move to when he shifted next.

"Um, Sam Uley and Quil Atera...you know, Paul, Embry, Jared and the Clearwater kids...Jake's friends." I said, looking down at the wound with concern.

"Are they all...?" Charlie said, leaning against the wall, looking at the floor in front of him.

"Yeah, they're Jake's pack."

"Leah and Seth? Does Harry...Does Billy know?"

"Look Dad, I...I'll tell you everything, okay? I will, but I need to get this bullet out before it heals over."

"What? You can't just go digging around in there Bella; we need to take him to the hospital. God! Fuck, I need to call the station and report that I shot a fucking kid in my yard!" he started pacing, the panic overtaking him now that the adrenaline of the moment was wearing off.

"No, Dad...stop." I stood up and walked over to him. "Look at me, Dad."

He stopped right in front of me and looked down into my eyes with concern and...fear. I took a deep breath in the face of being something my father would fear. It would be alright; he would understand when I had time to talk to him.

"Dad, please, go get the first aid kit. I'm going to take care of him and you do NOT need to call the station."

"I'm the fucking Chief of POLICE, Bella!" he screamed, his face red and that vein in his forehead starting to pulse the way it used to when he and my mother would fight.

The front door flew open and Quil came running in first, practically diving over the living room furniture to get to Jake.

"STOP!" I yelled and Quil froze, Paul was next locked in place at the front door, stopping the entrance to the rest of the pack.

"All Wolves into the kitchen. Now!" I said, my eyes shining yellow, making sure they knew it was an order, not just from Bella but from the Alpha's mate. If I was the only one who could order their Alpha around, sure as fuck they were going to do what I said.

They filed in grumbling and looking over at Jake, knowing that there was something very very wrong as the only human in the house paced in a panic behind me.

"Sam, come here," I called as he walked in. Without a second thought he came straight to me and stood expectantly, ready to do whatever he needed.

"Jake is hurt but he's going to be fine." Sam nodded but did not speak. "My Dad shot him and saw him phase."

"Oh fuck," Sam muttered, looking back at Charlie who was running his hands through his hair and pacing like a lunatic.

"Yeah, so I need someone to take him out to Billy's. He's going to deal with this better if he hears it from Billy and Harry rather than from us and I need someone else to help me get the bullet out of Jake's side. He's healing too fast and we can't leave it in there."

Sam nodded and jumped to action, he may not officially be Alpha but he knew his pack and knew how to handle himself. No matter what, Sam was the one I could always count on.

"Seth! Paul! I need you to take Charlie out to the Rez. Call Billy and tell him that Charlie saw Jake phase and he needs to calm his ass down." Seth walked over to my Dad and slapped him on the back.

My dad jumped back a little, his eye unfocused. "Come on big man, let's go out to La Push. Come on, it's me - Seth! Dad and Billy will explain everything, okay?" Seth soothed my father and led him out the front door. Charlie looked back at me and shook his head before leaving, somewhat calmer.

Jake moaned and I rushed to his side. "Baby, I'm right here, you're alright."

"Yeah," he croaked. "I feel like someone fucking shot me." He chuckled and coughed before trying to sit up.

"Shut up," I said pushing him back down.

I looked down at the wound again. It was healing fast, the bullet still lodged in deep, probably wedged between muscle and bone. As I wiped the last of the blood away Embry came up to the side of the couch.

"I know you said to stay in the kitchen, but..."

"You were worried." I said without looking up. "He's okay, we just gotta get the bullet out."

"Sam's getting the first aid kit but, what else do you need?" I thought about it while Embry looked at Jake's ashen face. "Hey man, what the fuck were you doing? Did you think it was a paint gun or something?"

"Nah man, just got caught without my head in the game." Jake chuckled gruffly.

"With your lady there? Man, you're out, that's it, you lost your protector badge. Gonna have to try for the sewing or basket-weaving one instead." Embry joked through tight lips.

"Fuck you," Jake smiled before closing his eyes again.

"Em?" I looked up at the worried wolf standing next to Jake's head. "I could use some tweezers and the sharpest knife you can find. And clean towels. And...check with Sam, there may be Betadine in the first aid kit. If not, there's some in Charlie's tackle box...he manages to cast onto himself a lot."

Embry hurried off, happy to have something to do while they - we? waited. Sam came back and started going through the first aid kit, pulling out everything I said I needed and some things I hadn't thought of myself

"Thanks, Sam."

"You sure you can do this? Should we like call someone? We could take him to the Tribe doc."

"No time, and you'd still have to explain everything and that could really mess things up for Charlie. The wound is closing as we talk; I'm going to have to cut through muscle as it is."

Embry came back and handed me what I'd asked for while making a face at the thought of cutting through the muscles in Jake's side.

"Can you even cut that? Jake's built like a steel truck," he murmured so that Jake wouldn't hear.

"I'm still here you know," our patient said. "Any chance there's like bourbon or whiskey or something I could down before you start cutting?"

"You ever had anything to drink before?" Sam asked raising an eyebrow.

"No, but that's what they do in Westerns right? Must help."

"Babe, we really, we don't have time, okay?" Jake winced with his eyes closed and then locked his jaw in determination.

"Okay, Sam, you hold his arms, and Embry, like sit on his legs or something - this is gonna hurt." I opened the Betadine and poured it over the knife, my hands, and Jake's side, right where the bullet had gone in and let it get in the wound a little.

"Leah! Go upstairs under the sink and get the hydrogen peroxide." I was already thinking ahead to what we might need later, trying not to focus too much on the here and now of what I was about to do.

Lifting the knife slowly to Jake's side, I saw him squeeze his eyes shut. "Here we go Qwoli; you're okay, just...stay still..."

I dug the knife deeply into the newly-healed and extremely sensitive skin. I was surprised at how much resistance there was and how hard I had to push. Following the line of the bullet's path I dug until I hit something hard. God, I hoped it was the bullet and not bone. Embry sat firmly on Jake's thighs, soaking the blood up with a towel.

"Fuck..." Jake growled as I pulled the strips of muscle apart, realizing that I couldn't see a God damned thing.

"Jake, I'm...I'm going to have to poke around."

"Just fucking do it," he growled, his eyes still closed, his hands clenched around Sam's. Anyone else's hands would have been broken, but Sam stood stoically watching it all.

I quickly inserted the knife and again and widened the incision before taking the tweezers and forcing them into the hole I had created.

"There's...there's something there...I don't know if it's bone or...no...wait it's moving."

"FUCK!" Jake screamed lifting his torso up off the couch before Embry could tackle him. His legs were kicking at the arm rest, trying to find something for leverage.

"Here's the...oh fuck..." Leah threw herself onto Jake's feet, forcing them down while Embry laid on top of him, keeping his body as still as possible. Jake's blood smeared Embry's chest as he struggled against his pack mate's hold.

"Get the fuck off of me! NOW!" The double timbre of his voice made the wolves begin to move until I broke in.

"Do not move! Do not fucking move! Do what I told you to and fucking HOLD HIM STILL!" My eyes flashed and I thrust my fingers back into Jakes body, using the tweezers to look for...there...there, it was small but it was...if I could just...

It seemed to take forever as Jake panted and screamed...the pain must have been unbearable but the bullet was too close to his chest, his spine. I couldn't bear to imagine what would happen if it got loose in his blood stream or shifted to his spine or heart when he phased. So I dug and my hands were steady. My father's couch was coated in Jake's slick blood and the pack was standing in the doorway of the kitchen, too afraid too look but to worried to stay away.

"There...it's...I almost..." I had something in my hold but every time I got a hold on it it slipped away, nothing I did could keep it in place. Worried that I was just making it worse, pushing it in deeper and causing him all this pain for nothing I closed my eyes. I closed my eyes and took a breath and steadied my heart. There had to be a way...there had to be. The scars on my face burned as I worked and then...I pulled the tweezers out. Fuck.

I dried them and looked at the wound, already beginning to close up. Fuck!

"Okay...one more time," I said, more to myself then anyone else.

Thrusting my fingers deeper than before, Jake bellowed and passed out making it much easier to work on him. As his body relaxed and his breathing calmed I found I was calmer too. Suddenly, I found that I could feel...see...what I was doing inside of his body. Reaching around behind his rib with the tweezers I was able to snatch the small piece of metal and pull it out slowly.

I poured the hydrogen peroxide into the wound, probably not what a nurse or doctor would do, but it did the trick, bubbling and disinfecting as the flesh knit back together around it. By the time Jake woke up it would be mostly closed but still very sore.

I took the tackle line and thread it threw a needle, quickly piercing the skin and pulling it tightly together with 3 fast stitches. With how fast Jake healed I didn't know if this was necessary, but better to do it then realize latter that I hadn't and should have.

After covering the wound with gauze and taping it on, I slumped down next to the couch, bloody and exhausted and looked up at the three who had helped me.

"He's fine. He wouldn't have been if you hadn't helped though...thanks."

Sam nodded and Leah stood up. Embry just lay on top of Jake, sharing an unusually intimate moment with his Alpha, his best friend.

"Em, go hop in the shower upstairs, please? You're covered in blood."

"No, I'll wait," he said, getting up and wiping a tear from his eye.

"Em, go upstairs. He's okay, I promise." He nodded and slunk upstairs to clean himself up.

Leah stared at me as Sam went to tell the others what had happened. She stood there staring at me as I cleaned up the floor and closed the first aid kit back up. She came with me when I went to the small powder room on the first floor to wash the blood off of my hands.

When I returned the first aid kit to the hall closet, Leah followed me and when I put the Betadine back in Charlie's tackle box, she was right on my heels. Just as I was getting really, really fucking annoyed, she swooped in and pulled me into her arms.

"Bella, you were amazing," she said. "I'm proud you're my sister and my Alpha's mate."

I blushed and hugged her back, pulling strength from her as mine was faltering.

Jake's moan from the other room had me rushing back to his side. Still unconscious, I wiped his head.

"Can...can you guys get me some wash clothes and towels and some clean blankets? Actually, Quil, do you think you and Sam can carry him upstairs to my bed? Let's move him before he wakes up, huh?"

We took Jake upstairs carefully and cleaned him up. I stayed with him while the pack cleaned the living room as much as they could. They scrubbed most of the blood stains out of the couch fabric and covered it with a plastic tarp from the shed and some blankets.

There was no way any of them was going to be leaving while Jake was in this condition.

Jake was so going to have to buy my father a new couch though…

Sam stood in the doorway looking at me.

"How are you holding up?" he asked as I ran my fingers through Jake's hair, wishing he would wake up, knowing his body just needed time.

"I don't know Sam...I'm okay I guess"

"Yeah, alright, well Paul and Seth are on their way back. They said your Dad was staying out on the Rez tonight and seemed to be doing better. I'm gonna order some food for the guys..."

"The credit card's in the kitchen drawer."

"Okay, thanks. We'll just hang out downstairs. You let me know if you guys need anything."

Lying down next to Jake, careful not to disturb him too much, I heard the shower turn off as Embry finished cleaning up just before I fell asleep.


	27. Chapter 27

At first, when Jake didn't wake up, I didn't think much of it. I watched him sleep and counted his breaths. There was no fever and no winces of pain. I was sure that given time, given attention and love, he would be fine. I was so sure of it in fact it didn't even occur to me to question his deep sleep.

I slept against him waking when the bed being too small would slip away and I would end up partially on the floor, but I wasn't about to go anywhere else. The days passed without much activity. The pack stayed, missing school and work, unwilling to leave until they were sure that he was awake and fine.

And while he seemed fine, his face peaceful, for six days he did not eat, he did not drink or move - and neither did I.

When Charlie came back home he was cautious and distant, but he didn't insist that anyone leave and he didn't even mention the fact that Jake was now naked and sleeping in my bed, with my body curled around his at all times.

Leah would come and sit with me. We would sit on the floor leaning against the bed and not speak. Sometimes she would hold my hand or let me lie on her lap while she ran her fingers though my hair. I didn't cry, there was nothing to cry about, I was so certain of his recovery. But being with Leah was the only time I felt like I could let go a little, let someone else take care of me while I held the brave front.

Days passed with little for everyone to do and the inactivity and worry was weighing on every one. Charlie had more chopped wood then he could use in a year piled in the back and most of a new shed built. Anything anyone could think of to keep themselves busy they did, even if it wasn't constructive, such as the ax throwing competition which led to Paul having to replace one of the windows on my father's cruiser.

These things happened though, and well they happened because the pack was a mess. Every hour they broke something in the house or there was some kind of fight. Sam had to send them out on a run more then once just to get them out of there, but they never stayed away long and Sam never went at all. His orders were still obeyed but the stress of the situation made it so now the guys were more willing to argue or try to provoke him.

Sam only lost his temper once though, which if they hadn't been outside would have led to some significant damage to the house, as it was though, the only damage was to Jared's left leg, which Sam practically bit off. Now, being a master surgeon, I was able to quickly stitch it up so the leg would stay in place while he healed.

The whole thing would have been funny, being nursemaid to the Pack while they had their tantrums and tried to figure out how to cohabitate. But it wasn't funny. The only reason any of us were there was because of Jake.

"Bella…" my father said from the doorway as I sat in the rocking chair next to my window, watching the clouds drift by outside the window. "Bells…look at me."

I turned and saw the man my father was: the brave man who took things in stride and accepted people as they were. I'd learned so much from him, so much about how to be a good person and about what it meant to be a man, the kind of man I could love. My father was a leader; he was respected without ever asking for it because he was good and kind. He made decisions with his heart, but without selfishness, always full of concern for everyone but himself.

"Bella" he took a step toward me, the first step into my room since he'd shot my fiancé in the leg. It would have been funny if Jake was awake. We'd laugh and tease Charlie until he became uncomfortable enough to mutter something about getting his gun and doing it right this time. Jake would roar every time Charlie apologized and for the rest of our lives it would be "Hey, remember the time Charlie shot Jake?". But that wasn't how we were going to remember this it seemed.

"Yeah" I turned, my eyes tired and red. No tears would fall but Jake's continued stillness wore on me heavily.

"We need to get him help, you can't do this alone anymore."

"He's fine" I whispered turning back to the window.

"He's not babe" my father's hand fell onto my shoulder gently, his words breaking through my strength. Finally my tears fell and I was only a girl sitting shiva with the body of the man she loved, praying for a miracle.

"He is Dad, he has to be." I broke, the possibility of Jake never being himself again crushing me. "He was fine, he did fine with the bullet and it was just his leg and that's totally healed and there's no reason why he won't wake up. But he WON'T Dad and I can't make him and there's nothing wrong!"

Charlie kneeled before me and pulled me against his chest. He held me as I sobbed and screamed into his chest. Never placating or diminishing me, he just held me strongly, the solid foundation my life was built on, my father held me.

"We need to call a doctor. I've let this go on long enough because of what he is, but Bella, he needs to be seen by a real doctor."

"No…"

"They don't need to know anything about what he is, but he needs help."

"We can't Dad" I wiped my eyes and pulled back to look at him "We can't tell people you shot him and he's already completely healed, what could we tell them? That he just wouldn't wake up one day? That won't help him. It would raise too many questions…maybe Q'wakili could come…"

"Kwackali?" my father mutilated the name of the wise woman who had helped me so much.

"She's…" I touched my cheek quickly "She's helped before."

"Bella, no, he was shot, he needs a real doctor." Charlie was calm and positive, an extremely difficult man to argue with.

"You don't…we CAN'T." I struggled to find the words, to make him understand. My mind ran back over all of the terrible alien autopsy shows Jake made me watch last summer and I grimaced at the thought of him lying on that table, strapped down as they experimented on him.

"What other choice do we have?" he stood and started toward the door.

"No, please…what…what if they do tests, what if they find something out about him? We can't risk it, we can't let anyone find out what he is?"

"Is it worth him dying? Cause I don't know what's going on here but I'm afraid that's what's happening. Bella, is that secret worth losing him forever?" his voice was calm but I knew his words hurt him almost as much as they hurt me.

I shook my head as tears began to fall again: "What does Sam say?" I tried to clear my mind, trying to sort out how to do this, how to help Jake without hurting my father or exposing the pack.

"Sam? Why would…?" My father trailed off still trying to make sense of the world he'd been catapulted into.

"We need to talk to Sam before we do anything. That's just how it has to work." I stood up and grabbed a tissue. I looked back at Jake one more time, seeing him lying there, practically overflowing out of my bed and I couldn't help but smile. He was so beautiful, so peaceful, if only he were just asleep.

A deep breath and I strode out of the door and down the stairs, my father was no longer in charge, out here I was the voice everyone listened to and he knew that if he tried to do something I disagreed with the Pack would give their lives to stop him. He'd seem more transmogrification and violence over the past week then he could process.

There was nothing like a group of worried, scared, hormonal, teenage werewolves to make you watch your step and sleep with your gun.

"Sam" I nodded to him and walked into the kitchen.

"Out" he commanded Quil and Embry who were engaged in a battle to the death over the last banana in the house, surrounded by the shredded remains of the basket I kept the fruit in.

"Is nothing safe?" Charlie grumbled as the boys continued their struggle on the way to the living room. "That banana's going to be inedible by the time they're done."

"Not the point" Sam smiled at him knowing that my father's testosterone level could relate.

"What is it Bella?" Sam said concern in his eyes.

"Well, it's really Charlie… but I need your take on things from a Pack perspective." I looked up at him as he crossed his arms over his bare chest, ready to listen. Sam was still so young and attractive in his own hard way, it was easy to forget because he had so many burdens on his shoulders, so much responsibility.

"What's the doin?" Leah said leaning in the doorway, her eyes hard with understanding.

"Leah…" Sam began before I cut in.

"It's Jake. He's not getting better." Leah stepped in to the room and crossed her arms unconsciously mimicking Sam's position.

"No, he's not" Leah stated flatly, never one to mince words. "I was going to talk to you about it soon."

"I think he needs a Doctor, a real bonafide, medically trained Doctor." Charlie declared as a banana peel went flying through the room, sticking to the wall above the back door.

"No, we can't take him to a doctor" Sam's instinct to protect the Pack was stronger then his desire to help Jake and at least three of us in the room knew that he was right. "We can't have any more outsiders involved."

Sam's words weren't meant as cruel, but I couldn't help but feel that as much as he loved me and knew I was a part of the pack I would always be an outsider to him. I wasn't born to this, I wasn't one of them: I was something different all together.

"No, we can't. We have to keep the pack's secret AND find a way to help Jake. I thought Q'wakili but Dad isn't convinced."

"She might be able to tell us what's going on but what can she do to help really? Give him another tattoo?" Leah's sarcasm was unexpectedly biting.

"I…I don't know…I just thought…" I stammered and leaned against the counter.

"Bella, Charlie's right" She held my eyes concern etching the lines in her face making her look older then her years and so much wiser.

I nodded and lowered my eyes to the floor. "What do we say? We can't take him to the hospital, there's no scar, no bullet left, what would we say happened?"

"Well, I could call Dr. Cullen" Charlie interrupted "he's a good guy; I know you don't want outsiders…"

"That's perfect!" I proclaimed as both Sam and Leah began to growl.

"What the…" Charlie took a step back from the suddenly vibrating werewolves.

"No" Sam said, the authority in his voice difficult to defy.

"Yes" my eyes flashed and my father hissed as he looked at me. "Carlisle with help us, I know he will and he'll understand, we won't have to explain."

"He will NOT come here" Sam took a step toward me and dropped his arms as if he were preparing for a fight.

"Are you going to argue with me?" I felt the power surging inside of me as I looked up at the dangerously large man who was not in charge. I was.

"No, but…Bella…how can you trust him?" Sam backed off slightly.

"He's a…" Leah shot a look at my father before continuing "Bella, come on, he can't come here."

"He can't come to La Push. He can absolutely come here. This is my house, our land and your stupid treaty has nothing to do with anything here. This is Switzerland and I don't want to hear another fucking word about it!" The silence hung in the air as my command was processed, disliked, but accepted.

"So…I should call him?" my father said meekly, his eyes shooting back and forth between Sam and I.

"No. I'll call Edward." I stepped toward the phone but Sam put himself directly in my path.

"Think about what you're doing here, that is our enemy. You can't undo this."

"If he can help Jake I don't care what he is, vampire, werewolf, unicorn, whatever, it doesn't matter." I said it softly but my father still heard.

"Vampire?" he sat at the kitchen table, shaking his head, his eyes clouded with confusion.

"It's a fucking mind trip huh?" Leah pat him on the shoulder and got him a beer before sitting at the table with him, her characteristic silence probably just what he needed.

"Go warn the guys, maybe you should all take a run."

Sam frowned "Not fucking likely" he muttered as he walked out to the overcrowded living room.

I hadn't spoken to the Cullen's since my disappearing act from school over a week ago and I was sure there would be a lot of questions, but if Edward really was my friend like he claimed to be then he would convince his father to come here, he would find a way to help Jake. I closed my eyes and begged the God or Gods or whatever was out there to help. In a world of fairytale monsters there had to be a God right? If I'd ever had reason to believe before I had it in spades now.

I dialed Edward's number quickly while Leah spoke to my father behind me.

"Hello?" his voice was soft and easy, it flowed so smoothly sometimes it was difficult to believe he was real.

"Edward, hi, ahh it's Bella."

"Oh my Fancy…Jesus Bella! Where are you? What has been going on! Alice said…"

"Alice was wrong" I stated calmly "I am not one of you and I'm not going to be, what Alice saw, she misunderstood."

"Are you alright? We can talk about her vision later but right now I only care about you. That's all that matters, are you alright? When we saw what happened with Victoria…" his voice trailed off, the vision probably too painful to remember, it certainly was for me and I felt the marks on my back come to life with a soft flicker of heat.

"I'm fine, I'm completely healed, no damage done, but…Edward I need your help."

"Anything my love." He gushed

"Please, first off stop calling me that ok?" I sighed into the phone "Jake and I…we're getting married…soon."

"Oh…so you did mate with him." The strain in Edward's voice was palpable.

"Yes, I did and I want to keep you as a friend. I'm sorry about what I said but I understand if you are mad at me. Right now though…"

"…No, no I'm not angry, I've been worried to death." He interrupted.

"Thank you, I'm sorry I didn't call, there's been…an emergency."

"That you need my help with?" he asked.

"Well, yes, yours and, if he's willing, Carlisle's."

"Why do you need a doctor Bella?" Edward never did miss a beat.

"Jake…is hurt. My father shot him."

"Brilliant!" he laughed.

"No, Edward, it's serious, he's hurt."

"So. That wouldn't be something he needs a doctor for." Edward was as thoroughly confused as we were.

"No, he shouldn't. But it was last Saturday and he still hasn't woken up." When I said it out loud, put out into the world how bad things really were it made my tears begin again and the hole in my chest crack open. Edward hissed, shocked by what I had told him.

"Do you think…"

"…We will be there in ten minutes." Edward hung up the phone quickly before I had a chance to thank him or ask what he might need.

My hands were shaking as I hung up the phone I was flooded with relief and fear. If Carlisle couldn't help…

I nodded to my father and Leah and walked out into the living room. From behind me Leah whistled to get everyone's attention from the television. They were watching, god was that soccer? Losers…

"The Cullens are coming here."

"What the fuck?"

"Excellent, I've been itching for a fight"

"No fucking way."

"Bella!"

The chorus of dissent surrounded and overwhelmed me for a moment and I closed my eyes calling on my Thunderbird to help guide me through this. Sam's voice broke through the others before I had regained myself.

"Shut the fuck up and listen!"

The muttering quieted down but not before someone made a vamp-tramp comment about me.

That was the moment that I lost my shit completely. That was the moment when all of the stress and worry and responsibility and bullshit of the past week, the past month, the past fucking year slammed down on me. Before I knew what I was doing I had thrown myself over the back of the couch and tackled Quil.

My teeth were bared and my claws were literally out. I felt the Thunderbird swell inside of me. She had already been close to the surface when he spoke but when I saw red so did she and now she had spread her wings within me. I scratched at Quil and screamed but what came out was more of a wail. He fell beneath me and tried to scurry away holding his forearms up to block his face as I scratched and spit at him.

Embry and Paul pulled me off of him by the waist, but were barely able to hold me back from him despite their strength.

"If any of you doubt that what I do is only in the interest of Jacob and this pack you can leave, you can get the fuck out of my house right now, but consider yourself banned from the pack if you do." I turned and stormed back toward the kitchen, my father recoiling from my path.

"She can't do that! Can she fucking do that?" Paul asked.

Turning I locked my eyes on him "What do you fucking think?"

I sat at the table and heard Leah fill everyone in on my conversation with Edward and that they would be here in…now 3 minutes. I went to rest my head in my hands and saw blood under my nails… What had I done? What was I that I could attack Quil and draw blood and need two werewolves to pull me off of him…

Right now though that was more then I could process, all that mattered now was Jake.

Washing my hands I heard as Edward pulled up in front of the house. In the living room everyone was in chaos, completely agitated by them being here.

"Wolves, go out in the yard. Please. Dad, you get the door and Leah, will you stay with me?"

"Bella…" Embry complained.

"No, Em, I know you want to be here but I can't worry about if you can control yourself while they're here."

"But Leah gets to stay" he whined.

"I know she can handle it and…I need her…"

Embry dropped his head and led the way out the door, Sam pulling up the rear and nodding to me on the way out.

"I'll leave the window open so you can hear everything" I promised, earning another nod before the door closed behind him.

My father stood awkwardly in the doorway, Leah vibrating behind him trying desperately to keep her shit together.

"Edward, Carlisle, please come in." Charlie ushered the way and when Edward saw me he moved to my side, faster then eyes could track, making my father gasp. He pulled me up into his arms and clung to me.

"Bella, I have been beside myself! Are you?" he stopped suddenly and put me down looking at me critically. "What happened to you?" his voice was suddenly cold, his former concern evaporating between us.

"It doesn't matter, I'll tell you later, Jake is upstairs." I looked past Edward to Carlisle and tried to smile.

"No…you…you are different. Completely different…" Edward's eyebrows pinched together as if something was hurting him. "and you have no smell…"

That stopped me and I looked at him, his lips curled slightly into a snarl. For the first time I saw what Edward really and truly was. In the past he'd always been different from James and Victoria, at least to me, he'd been more human, more civilized. But as his body reacted to the Thunderbird within me I could see the animal just under the surface struggling to rip free of his human charade.

"Edward" Carlisle laid a hand on his son's shoulder. "Why don't you wait down here with Chief Swan while I go upstairs and check on Jacob."

Edward shook with the effort of looking away from me and took a deep, steadying and completely unnecessary breath.

"Thank you Carlisle" I said before turning away from Edward and walking up the stairs. Leah trailed behind us nervous to be around two vampires and unsure if she should leave my father downstairs alone.

In my room Jacob slept peacefully as he had been for the past week.

"Does he move at all?" Carlisle asked walking to the other side of the bed and sitting down in the small available space. As he spoke Jake rolled onto his side and wrapped his arms around Carlisle's waist. "Ok then" he smiled and disentangled himself.

I sat in the rocking chair with Leah's stoic frame behind me and watched as Carlisle listed to, tapped, poked and prodded every part of Jacob's body. It was a good thing Leah was in the pack or I would not have been happy about her seeing him naked and handled this way, but for them, I understood the body was just another thing they had to share, like their thoughts, you just couldn't worry about it.

It took Carlisle twenty exceptionally boring and meticulous minutes to determine that there was absolutely nothing wrong with Jake. Downstairs I invited Sam back in and we sat in the massacred living room. Leah and Sam on either side of me on the couch, my father standing behind me, Edward and Carlisle in the sitting chairs facing us.

"There's nothing medically wrong with her. Short of doing an MRI there's nothing to diagnose here. He's really just asleep. And since he's moving and responding to stimuli there aren't even any pressure sores or concerns of atrophy. I can't tell you what's going on but I don't believe it's medical."

"He responds to stimuli? Why doesn't he wake up then?" Sam inquired.

"I don't know, his reflexes respond and when light is pointed at his eyelids the eyes move beneath which is the normal reaction. When there's movement on the bed he moves toward it. His reactions really are like someone in a deep sleep, not like someone who is ill or comatose." Carlisle stood up and picked up his bag. "I'm afraid there really is nothing I can do for him. If this lasts more then another few days though, please contact me and I will see what I can do about arranging an MRI for him, just in case there's something going on, but I strongly doubt we'll find anything."

"Ok, well thanks for coming." Charlie walked toward the door and held it open for Carlisle. I stood, Sam and Leah still flanking me.

"Thanks Carlisle, thank you so much…" I said.

"I just wish there was more I could do." The doctor shook his head and if anyone had any doubt about his sincerity they weren't paying attention.

"Bella, would you be able to walk us out to the car?" Edward asked, looking at the ground in front of me. "I'd like to talk to you for a moment and I know Alice will have some questions when I get back."

Leah's lips pulled back in a snarl and she placed her hand on me, not wanting me anywhere alone with the Cullens.

"I don't think now is a good time Edward. I will call you soon though, I promise, we will talk."

He sighed and his shoulders hunched in around him, making him look like the seventeen year old boy who had died so long ago. "ok" he mumbled as he walked out the door following his father. One last look back to me showed all of the pain he was holding in at having lost me to the wolves, I never encouraged him, never wanted anything more then his friendship but knowing that I was the source of his pain gnawed at me.

For a moment I wanted to run to him, to tell him that I still cared about him, he was my friend, he made me insane and he was often poorly behaved but that didn't change the fact that he meant something to me. Something important.

But I stood still as my father closed the door on his retreating figure, letting him go. Sometimes you had to choose one over another and as much as I wanted to sooth Edward's feelings, Jake needed me. I turned and began back up the stairs when I heard Sam call out behind me.

"So…what should we do?" his voice was softer and thinner then usual. No answers were sometimes worse then bad news.

"You guys should pick up patrolling again, you can stay here or rotate out, I know you'll want to be nearby, but you need to get back to work. You have a duty and we can't let that fall apart." I was facing them now feeling the enormity of the moment. Sam was coming to me for help, he needed…he needed me to lead.

"Tell everyone to go home, get cleaned up and come back here tonight. We'll sit down, all of us, and make a plan. You should get Billy too so he can see that Jake's…here."

Sam nodded his characteristic nonverbal agreement and led Leah out to the yard. My father looked at the ground for a moment before grunting and walking into the kitchen.

Upstairs Jake was still sleeping and exhaustion overwhelmed me. I laid down next to him and wrapped an arm around his thick waist, letting my head rest on his back.

"I love you Pup…Come back to me…I can't do this without you." I slept fitfully for a few hours, dreaming of screaming beasts with claws and fangs that drew blood which ran black, staining everything it touched.


	28. Chapter 28

**Ok my darling readers! Guess what! Walking in the Air has WON the Best Wolf Pack Story in the TwiTastic Awards!**  
**Thank you to EVERYONE who voted and who has supported this story so far, this is so super cool.**  
**And to think, I only wrote it after a dream about Bella and Pup in the woods! Now look at it!  
So here is the next chapter - please read and review! I hope you like it!  
**

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_Platonic shifts pull the cosmic mysteries down to the earth. The land falls into the sea but somehow we can walk solidly in the air, clouds solidifying in our path. The shapes of daydreams surround me so that I can spot the turtle and butterfly next to me instead off in the distance. Your figure eludes me though, always just beyond my grasp._

_Moving slowly, the dampness of the air clings to my skin. Where is the sun? Where is the moon? Where have you gone?_

_I walk through the ethereal density lost and alone. How long have I wondered? There is no time here and my body doesn't seem to tire. I am in a kind of purgatory waiting for movement or change. But instead, the shifting atmosphere dissolves as I begin to comprehend it and the sound of nothingness surrounds me._

_The desolate view slides away to reveal more nothing before me. There is something here, something to find, something to discover but I am crawling in a place that requires flight; I am behind._

_Far ahead I hear you calling me, the sound muffled by my own straining ears; you speak in a pitch I cannot quite hear, in a language I cannot decipher. Who are you? How do you know me?_

_I wander…searching for existence._

On the eight day of his convalescence Jacob made a noise. Not the comforting snore that sometimes broke through but an almost intelligible utterance. Billy was the first to hear it, having been carried upstairs by Paul to sit in the rocking chair next to his son.

I heard the cry from the worried old man just before the pounding started as he slammed his fist against the wall. When no one arrived in what he considered a reasonable amount of time, he began throwing whatever he could reach onto my desk and calling out for me.

"He spoke, he spoke!" Billy cheered as I ran into the room, Embry right behind me.

"Babe? Jake?" I threw myself on to the bed and shook him. "Jake! Come on!"

He grunted and rolled onto his side.

"Jake!" I screamed, pulling on his face, trying to force his inert form to recognize me, move, change, anything. "Please!" I sobbed as I slammed my fists against his chest until Sam came and pulled me off of him, holding me tightly in his arms.

"Bella, he made a noise, that's progress, you can't expect him to get up and start dancing a jig." He reasoned.

"But he should," I choked out against his skin, tasting my salty tears as they ran down my face and into my mouth. "I…I can't do this anymore."

"He spoke, I know he did, I heard it," Billy mumbled from the corner of the room shaking his head.

"I believe you Billy." I smiled at the old man who had gotten so much older during the past week. The only time I saw him smile was when Charlie came and turned on the little black and white television he kept in his room so they could watch some sporting event together.

What season was it anyway? Baseball? Boxing? Curling? I felt so outside of time I couldn't even try to remember what time of year it was. Fortunately Carlisle had written a note to the school saying that I had mono, and Angela had been bringing me my homework. At first she was quite confused by the rotating cast of half naked Quileutes in my house, but she adjusted and in typical Angela fashion just took it in stride. Lately I'd noticed her spending more time talking with Embry when he was here.

Kim, Leah and Emily had taken over making sure there was food in the house for my dad and the pack, and Charlie had reluctantly returned to work despite the continuing chaos in our life. He didn't like lying but was willing to hold the line that I was sick. I may not have had mono, but the sickness in my soul was so debilitating there was no way I could have hoped to concentrate on school.

I pulled away from Sam and went to sit at Billy's feet; he placed a hand on my shoulder as we stood vigil. Evening came and the light in the room faded until only the soft glow of the light downstairs illuminated the space.

Voices drifted up to us. Every evening the entire pack congregated here to catch up, check on Jake, and plan the next day. I would have been honored that they were here and considered this outsider's home Pack Headquarters, if I had the energy to care. I would have been smiling, looking over my men as they ate and laughed held together by the man I loved, if only he was here with me.

My tears had dried up, my sobs a dry cracking sound that I tried to stifle. Billy's hand patted my shoulder gently until I feel asleep with my head against the old man's leg.

_Indecipherable changes in the terrain make me lose my footing and fall beneath the mist-covered ground. Where my feet had been planted firmly there is now nothing…nothing…only white upon white, shifting, creating the illusion that I am not falling, despite the vertigo in my gut._

_Flying through the pristine hell I couldn't remember ever not being in: was I falling up or down? How did one fall when there was no ground? How did one orient themselves in time and space when both were illusions, constructs of man? I had no name, no form; I was nothing, like the shifting reality drifting past me._

_Existence is a mass delusion of the mind, when we accept that there is nothing, and that our form is merely a place marker in the stretch of eternity. Then it's so much easier to let go of the ties that bind us. My form began to shift, my hands lighter, leaving trails of mist as I watched them move._

_"JAKE!" A sound broke through the deafening silence. What was that? A word…a name…something familiar._

_"PLEASE!" It called again, that voice…as I gazed at the possible meaning of recognition, I slammed against the ground, my shoulder snapping back from the impact making me cry out in pain._

"Uggh…"

I heard it but didn't register the sound in my exhausted, sleep-filled haze. I was covered with an afghan, asleep at Billy's feet. The man's snoring filled the room with a soothing rumble, like having a mountain lion curled up at the foot of your bed.

"Kwo?okil?" he moaned, pulling me out of my daze.

"Jake?"

"Kwo?okil?" he asked again, his eyes still closed, his body inert.

"Jake? Baby, I'm here." I pulled myself up along side him on the bed and stroked his hair, fresh tears falling at the sound of his voice. It was so beautiful. "I'm here, you're okay," I soothed. I wanted to shake him, rip him out of this stasis he was in.

"Ayaso?" He rolled away from me to face the other wall. His voice was soft and scratchy from inactivity.

"Jake." I wrapped myself around his back, pulling him against me, kissing his shoulder gently, chanting his name like, a mantra as he continued to mumble and sleep. The only hope I'd been given in so long and he somehow he felt even further away from me.

I lay with him, listening to his voice like a starving man given only the smell of meat cooking, but never allowed to taste.

Morning came slowly, Jake's body still now, his voice soft and distant but still there.

"Kwo?okil?" he whispered again as Billy opened his eyes.

"Jacob?" The old man's voice rang out in the early morning light, waking the house, pulling the energy of the pack into my room. "Jacob! Where are you? Are you there?" Billy was screaming now, straining himself forward to get closer to his son.

"Billy, he's not awake, he's just been talking."

"What's he been saying?" Billy barked at me as the bodies streamed into my room.

Sam kneeled next to Jake's head while Leah ran around the bed to stand next to me. Embry and Quil went to Billy and pushed the chair closer to the bed.

"I...I don't know, he's just been…"

"What the hell is going on in here?" My father demanded from the doorway.

"Jacob is talking!" Billy cheered, hope and relief all over his face.

"He's not awake, Billy! He's just muttering something, he's still..." My voice caught and I found I was unable to put a name to whatever it was that was happening to Jake. Defining a thing can give it power, substance. As long as Jake was a mystery it was something that still had possibilities and hope.

"Ayaso," Jake whispered, making everyone but me jump.

"Ayaso…that's Quileute!" Billy beamed down at his son. "Jacob…Jacob…Ayaso-chah?"

"Xaba," Jake said his eyelids fluttering, his arm moving slightly toward Sam. Sam reached out and closed the distance between them, holding his brother's hand with love.

"Billy, what does that mean? Xaba?" I asked

"I…it means all, or everything, that doesn't make sense!"

"What did you ask him?" Sam demanded, clutching Jake's hand harder now, enough force to break a human hand in pieces, hopefully hard enough Jake would feel it.

"I asked how he was, the answer doesn't make sense!" Billy's eyes were wild as he looked around the room hoping to find understanding or wisdom from us, but we had none to offer.

"He's just muttering," Quil offered.

"In Quileute?" Embry challenged.

"Chah…Chah…Alila-cha?" Billy tried again, placing a hand on Jake's leg.

"Xaxi!" Jake bellowed, sat up with his eyes open but not registering the scene around him, his soul was still so far away. As we all leapt toward him he slumped back to the bed, eyes closed, body drained and as still as it had been before any of this had begun.

"No!" I grabbed at him trying to get him to sit up, roll over, anything. "Jake! Qwoli!" I called hoping that somehow I could reach him. The thunderbird within me screamed in my mind, echoing my own desperate need for him.

_Where…_

_How…_

_That voice, its ethereal perfection grounds me against the formless earth beneath my feet. The air around me shimmers and separates, clearing, allowing me the hope that there was something to see toward the light in the distance. As I run toward it the mist coagulates around me, trapping me in its thick embrace._

_I struggle against its hold, pushing my formless captor back. I moved my legs back in the direction I had come from, where I could still hear that voice…and now another deeper voice tying me to corporeally. My legs move slowly, as if trapped in the thickest deepest of mud, fingerless hands of resistance wrap around me, seducing me with their gentle tug. It would be so much easier to relax into them, to sleep…_

_"Qwoli!"_

Jake's body began to tremble and vibrate under my hands. Everyone jumped back but I stayed where I was, my hands on his face; my love in my voice.

"Qwoli!" I screamed, his eyes flickered open and his trembling increased. "Qwoli!" My voice changed to the one that was not my own, the thunderbird yearning for her mate.

"Bella, get back!" Sam ordered.

"No!" I turned to him, my eyes yellow and firm.

"He's going to phase!"

"Good." My resolve was set, getting a reaction from him, any reaction, no matter the cost meant more to me then my safety, or theirs.

"Get out if you're afraid," I spat without taking my eyes off of Jake's face, which was now sporting a fierce growl.

"Qwoli!"

Behind me Quil and Embry were pulling Billy from the room despite his protests that he didn't care about his safety, he wanted to stay.

"Qwoli!" I continued and Jakes form began to shimmer and shift, a golden light shone from him and his eyes opened, focusing on me for the first time in almost two weeks.

"T'ist'ilal," he growled before shifting before me, his massive body tripling in size and becoming the wolf I loved so.

The thunderbird's wings spread out and wrapped around me, protecting me from the maiming I surely would have suffered if she hadn't been there.

"Qwoli!" We shrieked together as I felt her merging with me. The windows in my room shattered from the sound, throwing shards of glass across us. I could feel her talons alongside my fingers, my arms reaching new lengths and the power of my wings begging to be released.

The large red wolf I had adored since time began stood and looked at me; his yellow eyes full of understanding and love. His mouth widened into a smile as he shook the glass out of his fur and launched himself out of my window.

_Run with me,_ I heard his familiar voice from inside my mind and on instinct I flung myself out of the second story window and spread my wings. I felt the wind catch under me as my new appendages struggled against the sudden resistance. I allowed myself to soften, letting the air glide along my wings instead of trying to capture and harness it.

Soon I was moving with the wind, allowing it to pull me higher and further from my house as Jake ran beneath me howling and barking up at me with glee. The cool air caressed me and flowed over my sensitive body like water. In some places it was rough, in others smooth and gentle. I could feel the pressure swell as I hit a current that would force me higher. In tune with the fluidity of the molecules around me I learned to turn and glide, flap and control.

The earth was green and lush beneath me, but no matter how far I flew, how high and rose, I could find my red wolf without looking, the tether that bound us reaching deep into me and anchoring my soul to him. I flew out over the river and up to the waterfall that I had tumbled down, that fall and prelude to the gift of flight my thunderbird was giving me.

I could feel her within me, her strength, her devotion to her people, her defiance. She had defied her god for love and now together, we would defy all the rules and laws of nature to be with him. As I rose above the falls I saw him, my Pup, standing a top a boulder, surveying his kingdom. I flew to him and landed on the ground next to him, our heads at the same height.

Until then I hadn't noticed how large I was, but I had to be at least three times Jake's size. He bent his head in greeting and I nuzzled into him with my large beak.

_My Love,_ he thought.

_My Qwoli, you've returned to us,_ the thunderbird and I responded.

_Always T'ist'ilal,_ came Jake's voice, with an undertone of another answered.

The air around us shifted and shimmered and soon I was standing naked on the ground looking up to my love, my mate. He jumped down and pulled me into his arms, kissing me deeply, our passion undiminished by the days of worry. As our movements slowed I pulled away and looked up at his yellow eyes, my hand on his cheek.

"My love, are you alright?"

"We are fine," Jake responded in a voice not his own. He blinked and shook his head before looking down at me in questioning.

"I know, it takes a while to get used to having them with you, but you'll adjust." I smiled up at him.

"Is this, is this what it's like to have the Thunderbird with you now?" He questioned.

"I think so, I think now that I have her; you had to have him, that's all that makes sense. It wasn't until she called to you that you came back… Where were you?" I whispered the last bit, not sure I wanted to know.

"I don't know, I was…lost…but I heard your voice and whatever it was that kept trying to sedate me, steal me into the nothingness there, I was able to fight because I had you to hold onto." He shivered slightly in my arms.

"And you came back."

"Not without his help, not without your's. I wouldn't have been strong enough alone."

"We're strong enough together," I stated flatly, knowing it to be true.

"With them…" Jake continued still adjusting to the slithering feeling of another soul without your body.

"All of us, we're…a unit. We aren't complete without all the pieces." I stroked his cheek, letting him know I understood, I understood and it was alright.

We kissed again, this time with more passion, our arms holding the other as if for the first time. I had missed him like I would miss the air or the sun. I knew I could never live without him and as much as I'd been okay with it before, no part of me doubted that I would marry the man in my arms. I wanted to scream it out, call everyone I knew. I wanted to sing and dance and celebrate this love. This love is an epic love. This love cannot be stopped.

I felt him harden against me and knew that we would soon lose ourselves to our bodies if we didn't stop.

"Qwoli," I breathed against his neck as he kissed my shoulder, his hands tightening around my ass.

"Yes my beautiful bird?"

"We should go back," I sighed as his hand came around to my front and began massaging my breast with easy, firm touches.

"We will…I need to feel you…" he lifted me into his arms and kissed me again. Our tongues moved together and the sun beat down on our naked bodies in this field. This place had defined my existence. James, Victoria, my Thunderbird, and now I would make love to Jake here with love and freedom. I had come full circle, no longer the timid girl who hid behind her hair and stumbled down the stairs.

Now I was a woman, a sprit guide, now I was Jake's.

We lay down in the grass and kissed for what seemed like an eternity, our naked bodies moving together slowly and deliberately until he was positioned between my legs. He slid himself into me so smoothly I sighed; feeling like all of heaven and earth had righted itself when we were joined.

We moved together slowly, the shadows of the trees falling on us, obscuring our nudity from the sky. The silence of the teeming world surrounded us as we rolled together, riding the wave of our love. His hand stroked my face as I lifted myself to him, gliding my hands over his shoulders and arms.

_T'ist'ilal,_ I heard him inside my mind

"Qwoli," I moaned as his mouth came down to meet mine and our movements sped up, our need overtaking us with its intensity. We moved quickly, driving to our ecstasy without restraint and as I bit down on his shoulder and he called my name, I felt my orgasm through two bodies, my bliss through two hearts.

Jacob moaned as he slowed within me kissing my neck and shoulder.

"I love you," one of us said as we pulled apart.

The sun shimmered above me and I could swear I heard God laughing. I smiled and sent a silent thanks to the Great Spirit that had given me so much more then I had ever hoped for.

"So, do you want a ride back to your place? We should go check in with everyone and try to calm Charlie down again." Jake beamed at me as he stood up and wiped dirt from his knees.

"How about, this time, I give _you_ a ride." I smiled wickedly before running toward the cliff and leaping off. I could hear Jake calling me from above, panic in his voice, but before I was anywhere near the ground I pushed out my talons, extended my arms, and spread my wings.

The water-drenched air caught me in its embrace and I rode a high pressure current created by the falling water up to the cliff. Hovering before Jake I tried my best to smile, but my new features were not inclined to comply so I tilted my head and landed next to him.

"Show off," he chuckled as he climbed on my back. "Did you know you have scales back here?" he asked as I rose into the air.

The weight of Jake on my back was interesting, it affected how I needed to fly but didn't impede me at all. I must be strong; strong and large. For once I would be able to fight my own fights. I could protect those I loved instead of always wondering what disaster I would bring upon them next.

Jacob laughed above me as I rode the currents high and dove back to the forest canopy. We could see the river, the sea, his beach and even my house. We would be back soon and returning to our normal lives; school and work, the pack and now the thunderbird and planning a wedding. A wedding. I still had to call my mother…

The pack was standing in the back yard as we approached having seen us in the distance with Kim and Emily. Billy was in his chair and my father stood with him, stoically taking in the scene before him.

I landed softly and lowered to the ground so that Jake could jump off of me. Before anyone had a chance to speak I phased, pulling my wings into my shoulder blades and retracting my talons. I reduced my size and stood before them naked and for once in my entire life completely unashamed.

"What the ever loving fuck was THAT?" Sam asked before rushing us and pulling us both into what soon became the largest, fleshiest group hug in history.


	29. Chapter 29

**Reader: Holy Shit Pav did you just post another chapter of AIR?**  
**Pavarti: Why yes darling readers I did!**  
**Reader: I was beginning to give up hope...I thought perhaps you no longer loved us.**  
**Pavarti: No no my darlings, never think that! I've promised you before there is more to this story, this is NOT THE END.**  
**Reader: But what's taken you so long!**  
**Pavarti: Real life boringness got it's claws into me and I've been working on another story some so my attention's been split, but never, ever did I stop loving you.**  
**Reader: I'm so glad to hear that, please, don't leave us for so long again.**  
**Pavarti: I'll try not to, I promise, no please, read, enjoy and review!**

* * *

The old woman stood behind me as I appraised my appearance in the mirror. She had pulled my hair back and plaited it in the traditional Quileute fashion. Two braids straight down the back. She had added extensions and feathers into the weave making the result much more dramatic than I had expected.

Kim and Emily sat on the wooden floor around the traditional basket they had made for me, making final adjustments and corrections to it. The basket was colorful and large, hand-dyed and woven by my Sisters.

"Sweet bird." The old woman placed a hand on my shoulder staring at my reflection in the mirror. The lights were dim and the mid-spring evening air danced around us.

"Are you certain?" Her eyes were dark and unfathomable, but my vision was sharper than a human's and I could see in her reflection the goodness of her golden spirit. Her worry tinged everything she touched with darkness, as did her loneliness.

The woman had chosen a path that had forever been banned from men within the tribe. She was the medicine woman, the priestess, that holder of secrets; and now she was passing that role on to Leah. Strong and wise Leah had stopped phasing and was channeling her inner magic toward learning the ancient ways of her people.

"I have no doubts in my Sister." I stepped out of the long bathrobe I had been wearing and lay down on my stomach. My upper body completely nude against the ceremonial sheet that had been laid on the floor.

The old woman sat at my head, her legs crossed and her back hunched forward so that she could reach my shoulders. With one hand on each side of me, I felt her touch vibrate through me.

I could sense when Leah entered the room. The cool air flowed in with her drifting across my skin, but the connection I shared with my Spirit Sister so strong I would have known it was her if I was deaf and blind. Her steps were sure as she approached and sat down next to me. Soon Kim and Emily joined them and sat on the other side of my body.

"This ceremony hasn't been performed for over 100 years," the old woman began with her deep voice.

"This ceremony holds the deepest secrets of our people," Leah continued.

They spoke sometimes in unison, sometimes over each other and sometimes separately, until the tone of their voice no longer mattered and the words they spoke were truth ingrained in the souls of all of us who heard them.

"The Quileute people are tied to the Moon and the Sun. The Quileute people are lead by the Wolf and loved by the Thunderbird. The Quileute people have existed since Q'wati gave us life and will endure until time ends."

Their chant changed to Quileute and flowed beautifully like music. As I listened I felt the Thunderbird dance within me, recognizing her place in history and mythos. She took pride in her role and was exciting for this final act to consecrate she and I as one, and then us as Jake's.

I did not notice when Leah pierced my skin the first time, my mind was lost along the rhythm of their words. My blood mixed with ink again and again and I was unaware of the time passing. A small totem was being place on each of the scars that had been branded on my back. Symbols of the Quileute history, my brother and sister spirits. The Wolf, the Bear, the Raven, the Ogress. They were all connected to me and to our people. As she worked I fell deeper and deeper into peace.

As Leah finished, Kim and Emily cleaned me up, continuing to monotone the chant that had lifted my spirit out of my body and allowed it to connect deeper to the world within and outside of the one we see.

"Now little bird, you straddle life and death, spirit and human, white and red. Now you are ready."

I sat up with tears in my eyes and embraced the old woman whose real name I had never known. "Thank you, Mother," I said kissing her on the cheek.

"Q'wakili," I said turning to Leah, knowing now that it was not a name but a title. "There is one more thing. Please..." I touched the lines on my face. "Fill this in. It is my mark to Qwoli, but as it is, all that shows is Dask'iya."

Slowly Leah's face broke into the kind smile that was so rarely seen, and she reached yet again for her needle and ink.

Soon night had descended around the wooden cabin that would become Paul and Leah's home now that the old woman had passed the mantle to the next generation. I could smell fire in the air and knew that the bonfire was roaring by now. The old woman and Leah had blessed me and marked the beginning of the wedding ceremony that would last late into the night.

Kim and Emily helped me dress in the backless white dress my mother had worn when she married my father so many years ago. My traditional hair and tribal tattoos contrasting against it, making them the true focus of my attire. Somehow everything came together. The black and red of the tattoos on my back, wrist, and face shined against the paleness of my skin and the gleaming white of the dress. The two braids fell down my shoulders like book-ends to the totems on my back.

"Bella, you're exquisite," Kim sighed as she looked at me.

Smiling I pulled her into a hug. Now that the ceremony had officially begun, I wasn't allowed to speak but my intentions were clear as my eyes shone with tears.

"Now don't you cry," Emily scolded. "If you cry, I'll cry and then what good was all this makeup?"

I smiled at Emily's kind and make-up free face. She wore her hair back in traditional braids along with Kim and Leah. They wore short yellow sun dresses demarking them as my bridesmaids, but Leah also wore a series of thick necklaces that told the tribe of her official position.

Outside the drum beat began, noting the beginning of the procession that was to be led by me.

Closing my eyes I took one last look inside of myself and found that I had no hesitation, no regrets, and no fear about marrying the man, the wolf, the chief, the boy who was Jacob Black. The Thunderbird swelled with joy and wrapped her soft wings around my heart.

With glowing yellow eyes I stepped out into the night to greet my future.

It had been two months since Jake had awoken from his coma-dream. During that time I had moved out to La Push and was living with Sam and Emily. While my father was still insistent that Jake and I not live together until we were wed, he did not fight the fact that I needed to be closer to the pack. Charlie had seen too much magic to pretend that there weren't forces in the universe directing my fate.

Dr. Cullen and my father had convinced Forks High School that I was better but greatly weakened, and so I was allowed to do most of my work from home and come to school only two days a week for tests and assignments. Lauren was the only one who doubted the authenticity of my story, but Angela, knowing nothing but suspecting something extraordinary, always silenced her gossip-mongering quickly.

I cared less and less about what was said about me when I wasn't around but I did not want to lose the friends I had; Angela, Ben, Eric, Mike...even Jessica were important to me and important to my connection to a normal human life. Graduation was in three weeks, but that moment seemed insignificant in comparison to the passage into adulthood I was about to take.

We walked slowly across the rocky driveway until we met the entrance to the path in the woods that would lead us to the beach. My steps were sure, and the sharp rocks did not cause my bare feet any pain. I was too elated to worry about anything tonight.

The stars above us were bright and seemed to be pulsing with the beat of the drums; witness to my union with Jake. The cosmos itself celebrated as two of their own, Qwoli and T'ist'ilal defied the Great Spirit. Or perhaps they had finally overcome the obstacles the Great Spirit had put into their path so that they could finally, truly be one.

All of the obstacles of the past year swirled around me as I walked with my Sisters: Imprinting, mating, James, Victoria, Jake's vision quest, Edward, my father, our own fears... So many things had aligned to keep us apart but in the end, this love was an epic story. It was something that could not be stopped. Neither life nor death would ever separate us again.

Stepping out of the forest and onto the beach, I was struck by the smell of the wind off the sea. The clean salt water infused air invigorated me. The fire was off to the right, behind the rows of people who had come to witness this union. Tonight we were returning to the old ways. There was no council and there was no America. Tonight, the Cheif's son was marrying his intended bride and taking his role as leader of his people. The entire Quileute tribe was here, as well as my mother and father, my friends from school, and as a final show of his commitment to be my friend, Edward Cullen.

Despite the agreement that the Cullens would not be permitted on Tribe land, this one night a single vampire had crossed the boundary line to witness the woman he loved marry another.

As I walked toward the crowd, Kim and Emily fell behind Leah and myself. Behind them were the drummers who had announced to the people and the Spirits that tonight there would be a merging of two great souls.

Behind the back row my father stood waiting for me, dressed in jeans and a pressed button up shirt. Weddings on the beach were deemed to not require my father suffer in a tuxedo, this is kind of awkward - can you rephrase? Despite my mother's insistence that Phil wear one. Out here in the night, surrounded by the glowing light of the fire, Charlie beamed proudly at me as I approached and he was as handsome as I could ever imagine.

When we reached him he smiled and kissed my cheek, directly atop the tattoo. We waited while Leah walked confidently to the fire with Kim and Emily trailing behind her. When they reached the front, Angela stood up in a matching yellow dress to join them, not having been allowed at the pre-wedding ceremony. As always, though, Angela accepted that with maturity and grace that would put anyone else in her position to shame.

Everyone was sitting in the sand, beach chairs, standing or on logs that had been pulled into place earlier. The children were dancing to the drum beats around the fire and off in the dunes; their youthful glee embraced and enjoyed as part of the night instead of stifled.

"**Quillayute ****tsidá - t'łòx'ádas! Hók'at' Friends! Welcome! Haćháł xaxíktiya!"  
**(Quileutes young and old! Outsider Friends! Welcome! Good things today!)

Leah raised her hands above her head as she spoke and a cheer rose from the Quileutes in attendance. The crowd stood and began clapping and stamping in rhythm to the drumming which had increased it's tempo. The few white faces in attendance seemed overwhelmed and confused, but soon they too joined in with the exuberance of the wedding processional.

No solemn Ode To Joy for me. Nope, that wouldn't have been fitting. Today was a celebration: jeans and drums, dancing and stomping, smiling until it hurt. This was the best wedding I'd ever attended.

As the drums came to a fevered pitch, Jacob stood from the fallen log he had been sitting on at the front. Bare chested and wearing loose fitting pants he was a God, literally and metaphorically; the Spirit of Qwoli was merged completely with him and his eyes shone as bright and brilliant as the fire behind him. Outlined by the heat and intesity of the flames he was larger than life, and the thick cords of necklaces around his neck announced his place as Chief.

**"K'ò?o łibíti?"** Leah bellowed over the din. (Where are the strong?)

"**Quillayute**!" The crowd responded

**"K'ò?o haćh?"** She called again (Where are the good?)

**"Quillayute!"** The crowd responded

**"K'ò?o wisá?**" She called again (Where are the happy?)

"**Quillayute**!" The crowd responded

"**Ayásocha**?" (How is that?)

**"Quillayute Q'wati!**" (Q'wati blesses his people!)

"**Ayásocha**?" (How is that?)

**"Quillayute Qwoli!"** (Qwoli protects his people!)

"**Ayásocha**?" (How is that?)

**"Qwoli T'ist'ilal!" **(Qwoli is strengthened by T'ist'ilal!)

The drums were silent now as Leah lowered her hands and all attention was focused on Charlie and I. For once the feeling of eyes on me did not fill me with dread or nausea. Instead I stood taller, proud to be a part of these great people, proud to be called one of their own.

The mist blew in from the water as the spirits joined us. The twinkling stars winked down at me with joy.

Walking slowly, Charlie and I passed friends, family, and strangers. People cried and smiled as I walked past, but when I was in front of them gasps could be heard throughout the crowd. My tattoos impressing the people with the deeper meaning of this union. Even those who did not know about the wolves or my Thunderbird could not mistake the totems on my back or their ancient meaning.

My mother hissed in a breath when I passed her, her tears stopping as she took in the markings on my body. She was not in favor of this union, had been deeply upset by the tattoo on my face and wrist and furious with my father for allowing any of this to happen. My coming here was supposed to be a good thing, but as far as she could see it had ruined my life.

As I approached Jake, the pack stood up around him, similarly dressed with thinner, less impressive necklaces. The sight of them all together, backlit by the impressively large fire, was magestic.

My father stopped and kissed my cheek before turning and starting back down the aisle, but Billy reached out and caught his hand, pulling him to sit at the front of the crowd with the Tribal Council members. My father's place in this world was still unsure, but he was respected and loved and I was glad to see him pulled into the inner circle.

Jake reached out to me, and as our fingers met, the fire blazed hotter to match our passion. His eyes turned a brilliant white as he gazed at me and mine shone back at him. On his left shoulder and pectoral muscle was an intricate tattoo of the Thunderbird, weaving around his neck and upper back. My beautiful Spirit was etched forever in his flesh.

The sound of howls burst through the silence as the pack raised their heads in celebration. The magic of the night pulling us all closer to our spirit selves.

Leah's voice broke the spell as she called out above the din.

**"Quillayutes! Family! Friends!"** The crowd quieted down and the drums began again with a softer, slower temple that brought Leah's voice into focus.

"You who have joined us here are a village, you will always be friends. Tied together through this union and through our communal love, Jacob and Bella will be wed today."

The pack hooted again, inspiring another round of cheering to break through the crowd. The drums directed the sound by slowing and softening until it was again silent, pausing to allow Leah to begin again.

"They need our support and encouragement as they discover the commitment and dedication needed to make marriage work. That is why you are here today, and they hope you will be here every day to share from your wisdom, to share what you learned from your relationships and your life.

"Now in honor of Q'wati we'll pray to the Great Spirit:

_Great Spirit please protect the ones we love_  
_We honor all you created as we pledge our hearts and lives togetherWe honor mother Earth and ask that this marriage grow stronger through the seasons;_  
_We honor fire and ask that this union be warm and glowing with love in our hearts;_  
_We honor wind and ask that we sail through life safe and calm as in our father's arms;_  
_We honor water to clean and soothe our relationships that they may never thirst for love;_  
_with all the forces of the universe you have created, we pray for harmony and true happiness as we forever grow young together. _

Father Sky is the roof above us, protecting us from the unknown beyond

Mother Earth at your feet to hold you up, supporting you and loving you with her body

The trees and plants to your left embrace you and connect you with all living things

The sea at your right moves like the tide of life, always changing, always unknown

You have both been marked in the ancient ways of our tribe, declaring your love for one another and commitment to our people. As you have chosen to be married in the traditional way we will dispense with rings and other trappings of the White Man's culture. In the minds and hearts of the Quillayute People, you are wed, Sun and Moon embodied, your are a universe unto yourselves, may your goodness and light forever guide our tribe!"

The drums intensified as Jake took me into his arms, tears in his white eyes, and kissed me. The shock of his body touching mine after just one day apart jolted through my body like a lightning bolt crashing into us. It air around me vibrated and sang to the beat of the drums as his soft lips danced with mine.

"T'ist'ilal," Jake whispered as he gazed down at me with his deep brown eyes.

"My love," I smiled back before kissing him again softly.

Around us Kim, Emily, and Leah joined their mates and Angela went to hug Embry. She and Ben had amicably stopped dating and she was spending more and more time with the pack. Soon I hoped they would imprint; it would be such a joy to welcome her into my family.

Around us the crowd was dancing to the beat of the drums around the fire, the rows of seats pulled out of the way so that the women could begin setting up the feast. A long table had been placed near the dunes and was piled with gifts and food. At one end was the basket that my Sisters had made and was being filled with money, checks, jewelry and other trinkets of good luck for our new life.

"May I see?" Jake asked excitedly when we had stopped kissing, motioning for me to turn away from him. As I spun I came face to face with Edward. Jake's hands laid firmly on my hips and pulled me suddenly back against his chest with a growl.

"Bella, Jacob, congratulations. Again, I'm honored that you allowed me to be here." Edward bowed his head slightly in the elegant way he did while keeping his amber eyes trained on mine.

"Thank you, Edward. We're glad you came," I said stepping away from Jake and pulled Edward into an awkward hug.

Stepping back I smiled up at him, my heart so full of love I was oblivious of the pain on his face. I had no desire to hurt him, and at the time I had no idea about the issues he was struggling with, although soon, those issues would become the center of my universe.

"It was nice to see you," Jacob said, more kindly than I'd expected, while reaching out a hand to Edward.

"I...thank you Jacob. I hope we can continue this more amicable relationship in the future." Edward's frozen hand grasped Jake's in a quick shake.

"Alright then," Jake replied with a smile.

"I am going to leave you to your celebration. Please, enjoy the night and call me when you return from your honeymoon."

"I will Edward. Goodnight." I smiled and watched his retreating figure for a moment as he walked, hands deep in his pockets, shoulders slumped forward in his characteristic way.

Half of my heart was walking away from me, but as I turned back to Jake in the warm light of the fire, the skin of my tattoos tingling with love thanks to his mere presence, I knew that I had made the single best decision of my life.

Soon we were surrounded by hugging, squealing neighbors, friends, and family. I was spinning from all of the attention and smiling. My face felt strained and sore but no matter how I tried I couldn't contain the joy that beamed from my face. I was in love. I was in love and married and mated and happy. I was exactly where I wanted to be and I never, ever intended to be anywhere else.

Jake had been swept away in a sea of people and was dancing with some cousins I had never met. His body moved to the rhythm of the drums like water moves across the shore, smooth and graceful, powerfully flowing around those around him. He was a force of nature and finally, completely he was mine. The Thunderbird inside of me begged to go to him, to touch him and never be apart.

As I began moving toward him, feeling the string that connected us pulling on my soul, I took in the faces of those around me. Tonight was not just a wedding, it was a celebration. We had planned this our way using what traditional rituals we liked and those Leah had insisted upon and included more modern ones like wearing my mother's dress. Tonight was ours completely and our happiness showed in everything we did.

The guests were touched tonight by the magic in the air, and I could see Pale Faces and Quileutes dancing together, switching with ease between traditional steps and disco. Mike Newton was leading a strange drum guided version of the Electric Slide down closer to the water, and the smell of the food people had brought to share was beginning to fill the air.

"Bella!" My mother's voice broke through my thoughts.

"Mom!" I cried walking over to her as quickly. Her eyes stopped me from touching her though, the cold disapproval felt like a swat from a wet towel.

"I guess there's no sense in trying to preserve that dress after tonight," she sighed looking down at the dirt and sand stains on the hem.

"Ummm, I hadn't thought about it," I admitted wiggling my toes in the sand.

"It makes sense not to wear shoes on the beach, I guess I just didn't consider that when I agreed to let you wear it." Her eyes remained locked on the dress, never on my face.

"Bella Girl!" Phil cried as he approached, arms open wide, a beer in his left hand.

"Hi Phil!" I smiled as he lifted me in the air and tried to swing me around, but he lost his footing in the sand and got tangled in the train of my dress, sending us both flying towards the ground. We laughed as we tried to extricate ourselves and stand up.

"It's good to see you," I beamed. I'd always liked Phil, even if I wasn't sold on him and Renee as a couple; he was a good guy and had always been nice to me.

"You are a beautiful bride, you know that Bella Girl?" Wrapping an arm around me, he turned to my mother. "You have a beautiful daughter Renee, not surprising considering how gorgeous you are though."

"Phil, are you out of your mind? You're drinking already? You tackled my daughter on her wedding day?"

"Renee..."

"Mom..."

"No, it's...it's fine...you got the wedding you wanted Bella, I guess you always were determined to do things your way." And with that she turned and walked toward where people were beginning to line up for food.

"Don't mind her" Phil apologized. "It's hard on her to see you growing up, and it's hard on her to be back here in Washington, too. Don't get upset, okay?" He kissed me on the forehead and leaned down to look into my eyes.

"Are you happy Bella Girl? Does this Jake make you happy?" Suddenly serious, I could see that Phil was completely sober, just exuberant and feeling the effects of the energy in the night.

"Yes, Phil! He's...he's everything to me," I confided.

"And you're okay, living here in Forks or on this little beach for the rest of your life?"

"Yeah, I am."

"Then that's good enough for me. I hope to get to know him better while we're here, and maybe you'll come visit us in Jackson sometime." He straightened up and smiled down at me before sending a sideways glance at my mother, standing there in her flowing blue sundress with her arms crossed and a frown on her face.

"Maybe sometime," I smiled sadly, knowing that that wasn't likely to be anytime soon.

The drumming soon stopped and everyone was eating and talking excitedly about graduation and this year's La Push Day festival and generally catching up. I hadn't had a chance to catch my breath with so many people coming up to me and talking, so when Jake came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, I inhaled deeply and leaned back into him, allowing his strength and warmth to support me.

"How's my bride?" he whispered into my hair as he kissed my head.

"Tired, blissfull, overwhelmed, exciting, amazing!" I turned in his arms so that I could look up at the man I loved.

"How about hungry?" He smiled down at me with adoration.

"That too."

"Come on, let's get some of Quil's mom's baked ziti before it's all gone." Taking my hand, Jake led me to the front of the line and cut in front of everyone who was waiting. Instead of protesting they all smiled happily at our intrusion.

"Keep up your strength Jake, you have a big night!" One of the men called out.

"Whoot! Whoot!" Calls went up and soon howls joined them making me laugh.

"Sure, sure," Jake blushed as he scooped some grilled vegetables onto his plate.

After gathering enough food for a little league team, Jake led me over to sit at one of the tables that had been set up.

"No, come on, let's go sit by the fire," I smiled and walked quickly toward the glowing pit.

"Your dress though..." Jake began.

"Sheesh! You and my mom should talk more!" I muttered before sitting in the sand.

"Ok, well, if you don't care I sure don't." He settled beside me and began eating. Quil and Embry soon joined us and brought some beer for everyone who was by the fire.

"So, big plans tonight?" Quil began.

"I'm so not telling you a fucking thing," Jake laughed before throwing a hamburger at his brother who caught it easily and stuffed it in his mouth.

We settled comfortably into pack banter that could have happened at anytime, anywhere. It seemed I had been wrong all my life and getting married didn't really have to change anything, as long as you married the right man.

Angela came over with her food and sat next to Embry, who leaned back to put his arm around her. I smiled at him knowingly, making him blush and look away.

"Hey Bella, did you see your dad down by the water?" She motioned with her head toward where Charlie was dancing in the moonlight with Amber, the waitress from the diner.

"Oh my God! Charlie's going to score!" Jared hooted with joy.

"Not if you keep on like that!" Kim swatted him in the arm and smiled at her mate with love.

"Dude your dad's got the hottest grown-up in town on his arm. I sure hope he gets some." Erik laughed as he joined us. Soon everyone between the ages of 14 and 24 was sitting around us, laughing and joking like it was any other bonfire, except the entire pack was topless - no, wait - that would happen at any other bonfire, too.

Soon everyone was finished eating and the older crowd was coming to join us again near the fire. It was getting late and the night was black above us; you could barely see past the circle of light that the fire put out, and the sky shimmered with stars above us.

The night was alive, it was an attendee at the celebration of my wedding with Jake. Everyone, the humans, the wolves, the spirits, the darkness, the gods, everyone was smiling with me...except my mother.

"HoWah! HoWah!" People began to chant as Billy was brought to the front of the crowd next to the fire. Soon everyone in attendance was pulled in close around him.

"It is our tradition that people be able to say something to the couple before they leave to begin their new lives. Now, they may not be ready to go yet, but I'm getting pretty damn tired out here!" Laughter flowed around me, filling my heart with warmth and love.

"So, to get things started I just want to say that my son...he has grown up to be a man. He has grown up to be the great man his mother always saw in him, and that honors his father and the memory of his grandfather and great-grandfather, all the way back to the first Quileutes. He holds, the spirit of our people within him and it is to that Spirit I speak now: 'Haḉhikída ?axw híxat tsáda kasákłxlich': If you do the right thing, you will always be proud."

Billy bowed his head and the silence that followed was reverent and calm. His words had layers of meaning that spoke to the very core of Jacob's Qwoli soul.

Charlie came to stand behind Billy and placed a hand on his old friend's shoulder.

"Well, if you're only going to talk about your boy, I guess it's my job to say something about that daughter of mine." Charlie's smile sought me out and threatened to break free of his face.

Charlie took a quick drink of his beer before wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. "Ahh, okay, well, I'm not so good at all this talking stuff. That's what Renee, Bella's mom was always good at. Me, I'm usually the one sitting in the back row, listening to the game with one earphone hoping no one notices.

"But tonight, well, my baby girl is growing up. This whole year has been a year of growing up and changing, for both of us I guess, and I just want to say that Isabella, you are an amazing person and I'm proud to know you, prouder still to call you my own.

"It's hard to see you as a woman now, but you've made a home here for yourself with good people and Jake loves you something fierce. So while it's a sad day to have to let you go, next to the day you were born, it's the best day of my life to see you so happy."

Charlie coughed into his hand and sniffed softly, trying to conceal the emotion he couldn't help but feel. "Finally, to quote the great Colonel Potter from M*A*S*H: 'Having babies is fun, but babies grow up into people.'"

As people began laughing Quil shot up, hands above his head. A tall and impressive figure in his own right he commanded that people listen when he spoke.

"There once was a boy from La Push!" He began, making Jake and I throw sand at him while the crowd groaned.

"And Bella thought he had a great tush!" Embry added, jumping up to join his brother.

"But who could have told..." Quil put one arm around Embry and held the other out to the side dramatically.

"That she's the one who would hold..." Embry mirrored his actions.

"Us all together when he turned to MUSH!" They chanted together before hugging each other tightly and falling into a fit of laughter making everyone bubble over with giggles and cat calls.

"All right, well I think this is the perfect moment to present the ceremonial chocolate!" Sue Clearwater called from the back of the crowd near the buffet table, which had been cleared of all of the dinner food and set up with something I couldn't quite see.

"Jake and Bella, come on back here!" She motioned to us with her arms, a huge smile playing on her face. Billy and Harry were chuckling behind us making me suspicious about what they had done.

"Now, even though you didn't exchange rings and you didn't want Champagne or a big cake, your mothers couldn't resist doing something special for you. So, Donna Atera, Qiana Uley, Jenny Meraz, Linda Call and I all got together and come up with these."

"So they're her mothers now, too?" I heard my mother grumble from where she sat, up on a bench next to Phil.

Jake snaked an arm around me and pulled me close to his side as Sue and Qiana handed us each a cupcake. On top of mine was a cut out from dark blue rolled fondant of a wolf and on Jake's was a Pink Cut out of a bird.

"Perfect!" I squealed, pulling Sue into a huge hug and laughing into her hair.

"Now don't get it on my nice clothes girl!" she scolded, despite wearing a flannel shirt and jeans, the only attire I'd ever seen her in.

"Come on, now are you going to feed each other the cake?" Mike Newton called out from the sand where Jessica was happily sitting in his lap.

"Oh, God..." I said looking over at Jake who had a mischiveous look in his eye.

"Don't do it Jake! It's not worth ruining the honeymoon over!" someone called out.

Jake and I locked eyes, smiling the biggest, toothiest grins we were capable of, and simultaneously hurled our cupcakes at each other. We were both too fast though and while mine landed in the sand behind me, Jake's landed in Emily's hair.

"Jacob!" she screamed before running after him, cupcake in hand. He weaved through the laughing crowd with her close on his heels.

Laughing, I grabbed another cupcake and began to peel it as I watched the chaos before me. People came up to the table for a cupcake and perhaps another drink while I walked out toward the water.

Standing outside the ring of warmth the fire and the pack had held me in it was a chilly evening. The water beat against the rocks as I held my arms around myself and breathed in the crisp clean air. I could hear the laughter behind me and Emily's squeals as Jacob turned on her and began chasing her further down the beach.

Out in the distance the black sea merged with the black sky, their union so complete it was impossible to tell where one ended and the other began. That was how I felt about my Thunderbird. She smiled within me and I could feel her joy in being so loved and accepted by me.

"Bella? Bella baby, I'm going to go..." I turned to see Renee standing behind me, too close to ignore, but to far to reach out and touch.

"Okay, mom." I took a step closer to her but she remained still.

"I guess this is it, this is your life now."

"Yes, it is."

"I'd hoped you'd go to college or into the Peace Corps or something. You know, do something more with your youth than I did with mine."

"Mom...I'm...I'm not you."

"No, I guess you aren't," she sighed looking out into the water, her mind and heart a million miles away.

"I'd like for you to get to know Jake and everyone else. Do you have to fly out tomorrow?" I asked, hoping that for once she might choose me over her own life.

"Phil has practice on Monday and I start my acupuncture classes on Thursday. I need to get everything ready for that." She shook her head, dismissing my need for her as quickly as swatting a fly.

"Oh...okay..." I dug my toes deeper into the sand, feeling the moisture beneath the surface. We stood there in silence each wishing the other could be a little bit different than we were.

"Bella! Where are you?" Kim called out into the night, pulling my attention back to the life I had chosen and the family who loved me.

"Here Kim!" I waved up at her silhouette and felt the pull of my Sisters, my Pack, my Mate. "Mom, I...I've got to go..." I looked back at her one last time before walking up the beach and back home.

"Good night Bella...Be Happy..." I heard my mother call in goodbye before walking back to the real world she lived in, where monsters and vampires did not exist, where tattoos were something that set you apart instead of marked that you belonged.

Back at the fire I could see that most everyone had left and now it was just the Pack and Angela who was wrapped up in Embry's arms. Silently Jake walked up to me and took my hand.

"Come on, I have a surprise for you..." he kissed my lips lightly before pulling me off in the direction of the rocky cliffs.

"Should we say goodbye?" I asked just as their howls filled the night around us.


	30. Chapter 30  Wedding Night

The night swept past us as we ran along the beach like a silk scarf pulling against skin. Jake's warm hand held onto mine tightly and occasionally he would look over, a playful smile on his face. Running was easy for me now. I was getting used to my new coordination and strength, and even when in my human form I could feel the Thunderbird guiding my movements.

The cliffs loomed in the distance and the waterfall I had leaped off twice towered above us. We were nearing the end of the sea and closing in on the inlet where the river poured out into the ocean. What was once river water co-mingled with the sea, one particle amongst many creating a new identity, a new whole.

"Here..." Jake slowed and pulled me closer to him. The dark was complete, no light other than the stars above us illuminated the beach, but his face was so beautiful and happy it glowed with an inner light.

"If you wanted to have sex on the beach you know we didn't have to come all the way out here," I laughed and wrapped my arms around his neck to pull him down to me. His bare chest was warm and smooth against the satin of my wedding dress.

"T'ist'ilal, you know that's not why I brought you here." His face was open to me, I could see past his eyes, past his responsibility and pride, right down to the love that lived deep within him. He loved me and it sang to my soul like a serenade.

His lips softly grazed my forehead, leaving the imprint of his devotion upon my skin.

"My love," I whispered, threading my fingers through the short hair at the nape of his neck and lifting myself up against him.

He chuckled and pulled away from me, leaving my body cold and lonely.

"I said that's not why I brought you here you little minx." Jacob's laugh reverberated in the air around us, filling the sky with his joy.

"Fine," I pouted, crossing my arms over my middle, trying not to be too much of a girl and failing miserably.

"Babe, cut it out. Come on, I want to show you something."

"Alright..." My voice betrayed any attempt I made to not pout.

"Ohhh getting blue balls, Bells?" Jake's eyes twinkled in the moonlight wickedly.

"Shut up!" I kicked sand at his legs with a smile and he grabbed my hand to pull me toward the forest.

"Jake, I don't have shoes or anything on!" I whined just before he swooped me up into his arms and carried me into the woods.

Laughing into the night air I relaxed against his strong body and surrendered completely to the love we shared. Out here in the moonlight the air was cleaner, the sand was softer, the stars were brighter. Out here there were no monsters within or without and we were simply Jake and Bells, in love forever.

We walked about 30 yards through dense woods and came to a small cabin. Jake put me down as I studied the structure skeptically. He walked over to it with a little skip in his step that instantly made me laugh.

"Okay, Bella, first I want you to see what this could be. Don't jump to any conclusions or anything because I promise, this can be completely awesome." His words ran together as they tumbled out of his mouth excitedly.

"Jake!" I laughed "Where are we?"

"Home." He stated plainly. He stopped moving and looked directly at me. "This is home Bells, or at least it will be. It's perfect. It's one of the old homesteads and we can clear a path right out to the beach. The waterfall is right there, and there's lots of open areas for you to use to take off without anyone seeing you. If we clear-cut the woods in that direction," he pointed behind me, "it takes us right to Reservation Road. If we clear that way," he pointed to his right, "we can make a path to Sam's."

I stood staring at him, shocked at how much thought he'd put into this. A place of our own. I'd just assumed we would live with Billy once we were married. It never occurred to me that we would have our own home.

"Are you...? Is it okay?" he asked, taking a step toward me.

"Jake...I can't even describe how amazing this is...how did you find it?" I asked excitedly, beginning to look around me. The house was old but well built. It was a sugar shack construction, meant for storage and living, but we could renovate and add on and...it was ours.

"It's been here forever, completely unclaimed. No one wanted to do the work, I guess, but it won't be too much for us and the pack; you know, we have strength on our side. So I just asked the council if they would sell it to us."

"How did you come up with the money?"

"They sold it to us for $10. Reduced price for official Tribe Protectors." He smiled proudly of his purchase and his role.

"Oh my God! Jake!" I screamed and ran into his arms. We laughed as he swayed from the impact of my assault until he kissed me and all of the air left the forest leaving us floating weightless in each other.

His mouth was warm and soft against mine and when his tongue licked at me I reached out to him happily. He tasted like sunshine and salt water.

"Come on." He pulled me into the old house through the old wooden door. "I know...there's still a lot to do." He smiled at me sheepishly.

Standing in the dark foyer of the old cabin, I could breath in the dust and history floating in the air around us. This place was thick with history and magic.

"Do they know who lived here?" I asked as I reached out to touch the rail of the steps that led up to the small loft. I didn't dare go up there for fear that it would fall out from beneath me. Why I worried I wasn't sure, I mean, it was possible for me to fly...

"No, it was a long time ago, there aren't really any records from then." He shuffled his feet and I realized I hadn't thanked him yet.

"Jacob, this is perfect." I twirled around the dusty open room in my wedding dress before stopping and looking right into the eyes of the man I loved so much not even time could hold it. "I love it. I love you. Thank you."

Walking toward him I smiled at the fire in his eyes. When I reached him I stood before him. Without speaking I reached behind me and unzipped the waist of the dress I wore when I vowed to be his forever.

The white dress pooled around my legs and I stood before him in nothing but the blue garter Kim had insisted I wear. I felt his breath catch, the air itself responding to our intimate moment.

"Bells..." his voice trailed of as his eyes roamed my skin, leaving searing marks upon my flesh.

His eyes flashed yellow and then brightened to white as I stepped closer to him, my naked skin sensitive to each breath he took, each vibration of heat he sent out through the air. Jake's smell intensified and I could breath his desire into my lungs like an aphrodisiac incense. I felt the flame of his skin reach out and grab me as he stood still, trembling in anticipation of my touch.

My fingers grazed along his chest as I leaned up and kissed his shoulder lightly. His breath stopped as my hands traced the outline of his new tattoo, the one dedicated to me. It did not move like my Thunderbird did, but I could feel the connection. His tribute to my spirit bird shone beautifully against his dark skin.

"T'ist'ilal," his voice rasped as my hands inched lower, finally reaching the tie of his traditional pants. Our eyes locked as I undid the leather straps holding them up and slid my palm inside against his skin. As I slowly wrapped my fingers around his length, his pants fell. We stood together, naked in the moonlight that drifted through the broken windows of our new home.

Jake's head fell back as I began to pump him slowly. He grew under my ministrations until he was large and beautiful against my body. I snaked up him, wrapping a leg around him, continuing to pull on his cock slowly, rhythmically. My breasts rubbed against his smooth chest making him moan at the contact.

"T'ist'ilal. Quo Qwole...T'ist'ilal..." he moaned.

I pulled away from him slowly before bringing my lips to his chest, kissing along the ridge of his collar bone, pulling his skin into my mouth softly. His body flashed a heat wave out around us and I could feel his love reverberating in the air. Bending toward him I kissed his nipple, nibbling it softly. Inch by inch I worked my way down his body, kissing and clutching him until my hands were on his hips, my lips next to his cock, my knees on the dirty ground below us.

Kissing the soft downy hair next to his cock I could hear Jake gulp above me. I moved my hands to his ass, feeling the strength and power of his body as I began inching him into my mouth. Jake groaned and brought one hand softly to my head, twisting his fingers in my hair as his hips fought not to move with me.

"Bella...fuck...Bells..." I sucked him further into my mouth, twirling my tongue around the thickness of his head. I felt the warmth of his precum as I dragged my tongue along his tip, savoring every taste. His grip on my head tightened and I pulled as much of him as I could into my mouth, using my hand to grip the base of him tightly.

Using my lips to add pressure to my motion as I moved my mouth from his base to tip again and again, slowly. My tongue flicked his tip as I passed before diving back into the length of him, sucking and pulling on his skin. My teeth dragged against the tender flesh softly earning me a growl from above. Jake's grip on my hair intensified and he could no longer hold back his need to move with me.

His hips thrust into my mouth, his hand pulling my hair but still he never forced himself on me, always allowing me to control the depth and speed. He moaned above me and looking up I saw that his eyes were a blazing white, staring down and watching as my mouth enveloped him.

"Fuck baby..." I took one last long pull on him before standing up and bringing my lips to his. He moaned before leaning down against me roughly. As his mouth assaulted mine I wrapped my arms around his shoulders.

His skin was smooth and soft but as his kiss intensified so did the heat between us. His tongue plunged into my mouth and I lost my balance in his arms at the effect he had on my body. My legs shook slightly with need as I rubbed my skin against him.

"Qwoli, Qwoli..." I chanted like a prayer, my hands moving frantically along his arms, his back, his face. Closing my eyes I felt as if the world was falling away beneath me as pleasure and need consumed me.

Quickly Jake pulled back from me, his eyes an intense yellow color, full of need and power. His large hands grabbed my hips roughly and twisted me around before him. Lips attached to my neck, I shivered as his large warm hands massaged my body. His hands were everywhere, grabbing my breast, kneading my thighs. Suddenly one hand moved its way to my core and began stroking me.

My knees went out slightly at the feeling of his touch setting off fireworks that shot through my body. The heat and pleasure were so intense I fell backwards against his strong body, feeling his cock hot and hard against my ass. His fingers stroked me and coerced my lips open, exposing myself to the night air completely. His exploration was soft and focused as he moved along my slit searching for my center.

"Jake," I moaned as he began to grind against me, his body hard and forceful, his hands holding me in place against him. All the while he continued to stroke me, stretching and pulling my clit with his fingers, milking my wetness from the depths of my desire. His free hand wrapped around my middle and he pulled the other away from my core, making me whine with desire.

Soon he had one hand on my hip and the other on the back of my neck and was pushing me forward, bending me at the waist.

"Fuck..." he hissed as I submitted to him, dropping to my knees and allowing him to see me spread out and open before him. We stayed like that for an impossible amount of time; me with my hands and knees digging into the shards of glass and debris on the floor of the homestead, him devouring me with his eyes from behind.

I shivered, without his body against me the night air chilled my skin and intensified the sensations of my body. My nipples were hard and my cunt was dripping with need as he stood behind me, not moving. The power of my Alpha mate kept me in place, though, as he stepped back away from me. I whimpered and couldn't stop myself from arching my back, sending waves of my scent toward him. My open display of need was something I would have once been ashamed of, but now I reveled in knowing that I could be truly free with my husband.

"You are exquisite," he growled behind me from further away than I had expected. I began to turn when he growled loudly, a feral sound coming from the back of his throat. Shaking with anticipation now I lowered my head and held my place.

"My beautiful bride, my angel from the sky..." Jake's voice was soft. His words caressing my soul.

I could feel his breath now against my core, open and aching for him. I opened my eyes and looking under me I could see him, eyes closed, taking in my scent. Softly his breath pulsed against my cunt making me whine and lean back. This time he did not growl but brought his mouth down to me.

His soft tongue lapped at my opening, drawing out my need. I tried to lean further back to increase the pressure, feel him against me, but he pulled away and nipped me on my ass with a growl. I knew then that I was completely under his control. This was no longer a game but a mating ritual.

Jake's nose returned to my opening and I felt his intake of breath as the air rushed over my throbbing flesh. He pulled me into his body before reaching out again with his tongue. His hands were on my ass, spreading me further open before him. All of me was laid out before him. He reached forward with his tongue, gently opening my lips and gliding along my slit. I cried out when he passed over my clit so softly it burned. I trembled before him, falling to my elbows, lifting myself up in supplication.

His growl grew and became a loud rumbling in the back of his throat as he brought his mouth once again to my opening. Sucking on my cunt roughly, his fingers dug into my hips and I could feel his nails extending and changing, digging into my flesh with his animal need. His tongue plunged into me, long and velvety; I screamed as he licked at my inner walls. His tongue swirled around inside of me as his lips created a deep suction. My body convulsed but his claws held me firmly in place.

Panting but still not satisfied I writhed against him, desperate for release. When he pulled away from me his growl was loud and constant, the soundtrack to our lovemaking. His claws dragged across my skin, leaving lines of pain and pleasure in their wake. He scraped at the back of my thighs, positioning me lower and wider before him.

Slowly he came behind me and his cock was hot and pulsing against me. He stayed there, against my flesh, growling and clawing at my hips but not moving. Every time I would try to push back and capture him, his nails would dig deeper into my flesh. The pinpoint pain of the rips in my skin were nothing compared to the pain of my need.

I was breathing fast, my chest heaving as I went wild with need, my hair swinging loose around my face as I tried to escape his hold on my body. As I flailed, his growl grew into a roar that must have been heard by all of La Push. At the climax of his scream he plunged himself deeply into me in one solid thrust.

I screamed as my body clenched down on him, refusing for even a moment to be denied what it needed. He rocked in and out of me harshly, his hands no longer holding me in place and instead kneading my flesh roughly. I lifted up on my hands and slammed against him with each thrust, needing him as far inside of me as I could take.

I could feel as he hit against my inner wall. The cartilage of my cervix adjusting to his assault until suddenly he was even deeper inside of me, further than I'd ever been touched before. With another roar Jake fell forward, now lifted up above me from behind on his hands and toes, coming down into me with an angle that hit every nerve ending inside of me. My walls, G-spot and cervix throbbed in unison as he massaged me without forgiveness.

All restraint gone, he dove into me with his animal need. He reared back, hands on my breasts, lifting me up with him. Kneeling up before him, he pounded up into me. Dropping my head back onto his shoulder, my body disintegrated into him and we moved together like one body drifting to the rhythm of the waves.

Slower now, our initial frenzy having passed, we made love as one body, one soul. His claws retracted and he gently kissed my neck. The tattoos on my back began to heat up, my tattooed flesh matching the temperature of Jake's wolven skin. His body moved against them, drawing them out, bringing their power to the surface. He lifted me slightly and pulled out of me, making me turn to him and whimper in protest, but before I could speak, our shining eyes locked and he lowered himself on top of me.

Legs hitched up to his waist, I locked my ankles behind him as he slid perfectly into me, making us sigh with the perfection of being reunited.

"My Bella..." he sighed as he stroked me slowly. He slid in and out of me with precision and passion, our eyes never straying from the devotion of the other. Tortuously he built me again to a high I could never have conceived of. Eyes ablaze, our lips came together in a passionate kiss. His hands reached under us, lifting my ass higher so that he could reach a new, even more profound angle within me.

Around us the debris of the long forgotten house had been disturbed and dust danced in the sky in celebration. Glass and dirt clung to my hair and ground into my shoulders as I lifted myself higher meeting every down stroke of his with a thrust of my own.

The moonlight shone blue to my white eyes and I could see Qwoli and T'ist'ilal dancing.

"Jake..." I moaned as my sanity fled from the passion that was consuming me. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to fall into the whirlpool of ecstasy that wrapped around us. Jake howled a deep low moan that rippled across the sky. I clung to him as my cunt pulsed around him, milking him as I came.

Opening my eyes I saw the Thunderbird on his chest and shoulder shudder.

"I will love you forever, there is no power on this earth that will ever take you from me again," he spoke with two voices.

"There is no power that could try." I smiled before reaching up to his cheek and bringing him down to kiss me.

Satiated and exhausted our kiss was languid and slow. Time stopped as we tasted our intermingled sweat and lust. Slowly he pulled out of me and laid next to me. Content and complete I curled into his arms and fell deeply, blissfully asleep.


	31. Chapter 31

I woke up achy and sore. I could still feel the scratches on my ass from Jake's claws the night before. Smiling I rolled onto my side, the hard floor beneath me making me groan. Supernatural healing abilities or not, that man of mine ripped me up last night. I could see Jake-sized fingerprint bruises on my arms and thighs and as I sat up the glass on the ground dug into my skin.

Smiling I looked down at myself. Jesus, what a mess. Laughing I stood up and ran my hand through my hair only to have it get suck in the mess of extensions and feathers.

The sun shone brightly through the broken windows and I could hear laughter coming in from outside. Pup's yip rang out above all the other sounds. My Pup, my Jake, my mate. My life. I smiled again and brushed the dirt and leaves off of my naked body. Picking the small pieces of glass out of my skin I walked through our home...this amazing home...toward the laughter of my pack.

Opening the door the sun hit my skin reminding me I was naked. Little Bird, wake up I thought and felt the familiar wriggling of the tattoo on my wrist. Some help? I asked and she smiled up at me before spreading out and covering my bare flesh with her black wings. Silken feathers draped around me like a perfectly tailored wrap. Thank you the feathers ruffled in response.

I stood before them, naked but for the feathers that were wrapped around me, covering my nudity. The thunderbird was a part of me; a completely integrated part of me. Before I had known her she had protected me from Victoria with her strength, now she covered my nudity from my friends with no more then a flutter of feathers wrapped around my body.

Outside before me the entire pack was there, some in minimal clothing, some as wolves. They were working hard to clear a path from our house to the main road. Despite their massive strength they had only managed to get about ten yards done.

"Good morning, Beautiful Bird!" Leah's voice called up to me from where she and Kim were sitting and starting a fire.

"Good morning, Q'wakili," I grinned. "Why don't you go inside? There's an old hearth in there that would be easier to cook in."

"Oh my God, I have been DYING to see the inside!" Kim squealed before rushing up the steps and past me without even a hug or hello. I was delighted by her enthusiasm. This home was mine, yes, but it would also be where pack meetings would be held and where the women would gather to sit vigil when our men were out fighting. This would be the center of our family; I wanted them all to feel home here.

"Yip!" Pup pranced over to me and thrust his over-sized nose into my neck.

"Stop it Pup!" I squealed, swatting him away. "That tickles!"

Morning T'ist'ilal, his voice rumbled inside my mind, making me smile and shiver with the intimacy of it. Even when not in our other forms our connection was so strong we could communicate wordlessly. I was not a part of the pack mind and couldn't imagine what it was like for them to speak that way to such a large group but I reveled in the feeling of our souls communicating directly to each other.

"So what are you doing?" I said, scratching behind his ear and kissing his muzzle. He phased before me, my hand caught in the shifting particles of reality. The feeling of fur left and was gently replaced with my husband's unshaven cheek. My knees melted as his deep eyes looked out at me with the same expression of love my Pup had for me just seconds before.

"Making you a driveway," he smiled before leaning down to kiss me.

"Come on, didn't you have enough of that last night? Get to work!" Paul called out, making Quil howl with laughter, his fur shaking with amusement.

"Screw you!" Jake called over his shoulder before returning to me. His lips were soft and warm on mind. The innocence of his peck on my lips, lingering just a moment as he inhaled deeply and sighed before pulling away, destroyed me. I loved this man, with all of my heart and soul. All of my life up until now had been the prologue to this moment; no matter what else I was or who else I would be I was meant to be with him. This was the most natural, normal thing in the world.

I laughed quietly as he pulled away, thinking that if for me this was normal…what would have to happen for me to consider it abnormal!

"What?" He asked concerned and for the first time his eyes took in the damage we had done to my body the night before. "Holy shit Bells, you're all black and blue!"

"Yeah, thanks to you." I smiled suggestively up at him which made him blush slightly.

"Is that...is this from last night?" Worry caused his eyes to flash yellow.

"Yes."

"I did that to you?" he whispered fearfully. "Are you okay? Where else are you hurt?"

"Yeah, and I loved it." I laughed, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him down to my lips. He resisted momentarily, concern showing in his eyes, but then he smiled his big goofy smile before kissing me quickly and pulling me up into his arms.

"Who knew you were so kinky Mrs. Black?"

"Who knew you were so…feral…?" I replied, stepping away from him and turning to walk away. I looked back and found his mouth wide open, a blush creeping across his face.

Giggling, I walked over to the guys who were standing around in a circle around a particularly large tree. My feathers fluttered slightly in the breeze and the sun above me smiled down, christening our home with its joy.

"What if we use a chainsaw?" Paul was asking.

Jared's wolf replied with a snort.

"We could just tie you two together and let you try to pull it over." Paul glared at Jared and Quil, earning himself a swat on the head from Sam.

"Seriously, the others we could just pull out of the ground or cut, but this bitch is huge."

"What's wrong with the chainsaw idea?" I interrupted, walking closer to them.

"We'd still have to get the stump out somehow," Sam replied without looking at me, deep in thought about the situation.

"So we need to just pull the whole thing out?" I asked.

"Yeah, like we did with all those over there, but we can't budge this bitch." I smiled looking over at the small collection of very large trees the boys had felled. They must have been working all morning. How late did I sleep?

Without saying anything I turned and walked away, earning no notice from the men deep in concentration about their most recent difficult enemy. Beware vampires everywhere! These wolves are undefeatable, except for by, you know, trees. Walking past the house I could hear Kim and Leah complaining that the fire kept going out. Jake was in there with them trying to help.

Instead of going inside I went a little further past the cabin and just into the tree line. There I closed my eyes and concentrated before beginning a mad dash toward the tree where the wolves were working on. I ran as fast as I could opening my arms and letting my wings and talons extend fully.

Racing past the house, I could feel the wind rushing through my hair change from a breeze to a kind of conversation with the air that allowed me to know just when to leap up and grab the current under me. Flapping my wings I soared into the air, making a few large circles around the house before descending, talons first, with a battle cry that deafened the involuntary screams of the pack below me. so now she's naked, right?

Swooping down I grabbed the tree with my vice-like talons, ripping it out of the ground as I passed over and lifted back into the air. The weight of it was difficult to navigate, setting off my center of balance off and causing me to veer strongly to the right. Slowly I regained my control and dropped the tree onto the stack of other trunks.

Gliding back up into the air, I could hear Paul below me calling, "Mother fuck, if that's not the sexiest thing I've ever seen!" I turned back just in time to see Pup vault off of my front step and tackle his best friend.

My life was never calm.

I explored the air above our home, seeing where Sam's cabin was and how far we were from the waterfall. This was a beautiful setting and off the beaten track enough that no one would notice the large wolves and the mythical bird that were around all the time. Slowly I drifted down in front of the cabin again and pulled back into my human shape.

"Holy shit!" A naked Quil called out as he ran up and lifted me into a hug, thank god for the layer of feathers separating our bodies.

"Put down my woman, you prick!" Jake laughed, walking over to us.

"And get some god damn clothes on!" Jake smacked Quil on the back of the head as he set me down and rushed off to pull his jean shorts on with a huge smile on his face.

"Sorry!" he called behind him.

"You pulled that whole thing out in one shot!" Sam exclaimed, eyes still locked on the hole the tree stump and roots had left behind.

"I take back everything I ever said about her," Paul laughed, throwing an arm around Leah who had come outside to see what was going on.

"Shut up," she mock punched him in the ribs, making him feign injury.

"Baby, you ripped that whole tree out?" Jake exclaimed.

"Yeah, well, I just wanted to see if I could do it," I shrugged nonchalantly, not really wanting all the attention. I hadn't thought about what I was doing; I had been operating on instinct.

"Do you think you can do it again?" Sam asked, finally turning to look at me.

The day passed quickly after that. Emily joined us midday with food for everyone and Kim and Leah had the house swept and mostly empty of debris at that point. I was thrilled with the condition of the house; it was hard to believe that this was the same cabin where I had slept on the floor the night before. Jake and Embry were measuring for new windows while the girls charted out who had extra furniture that we could use? borrow? until we could buy our own.

I, on the other hand, was having a fantastic time flying through the air, dropping trees on the wolves like bombs while they debranched and piled the wood by size so that we could use it to build an addition to the house or keep for firewood later in the year.

Time after time I flew through the sky, diving down to grab a tree and yanked it up and out of the ground. The sky was clear and the sun warm on my back. It was exhilarating to swoop down and wrench a tree from the ground no matter how many times I did it. I felt so strong, so confident. I could do something the pack couldn't. I wasn't weak little Bella anymore; I was T'ist'ilal. I was Thunderbird!

With a cry to the heavens I took off over the ocean, out toward James Island. The sea mist rose up to meet me, cooling the air and leaving a sheen of moisture on my feathers. The sky was so high, so free, and the sea was so pure. I could never have dreamed of ever feeling so full of life or so connected to the world around me as I did flying out beyond La Push Beach.

Slowly I made my way back to the beach and saw that everyone had decided to take a break. They were lounging in the sand and playing in the water. I glided down the sand from where they were and pulled my wings back into my body.

"Bella!" Jake called when I was back in human form. "Have a good flight?"

"Yeah," I smiled as he tucked me under one of his arms and kissed me on the head. The scent of him and the feeling of his skin against mine was so comforting, so perfect.

"Are your arms tired?" Quil called laughing.

"So lame!" Kim rolled her eyes and threw a hamburger bun at him, which he caught and stuffed in his mouth.

"Thanks" he said with his mouth full, spraying pieces of bun out in front of him.

I sat down and grabbed a hot-dog from the pile, eating it faster then I'd meant to. Flying all day had made me hungry. I ate a second and then a third before I finally started to feel like myself again.

"All that flying made you hungry..." Jake commented.

"...maybe now she'll stop complaining about how much WE eat," Jared chimed in.

"At least I manage to get most of it in my mouth" I gestured to Quil's crumb covered lap.

Soon a large grey wolf came prancing out of the woods.

"I was wondering where he was," Jake said, nodding at Embry as he pawed past us and dove into the water. The wolf swam for a while before diving under and re-emerging as Embry.

"Toss me my pants," he said, walking up to the group sans clothing. Nudity was a strange but common thing these days.

"Where ya been?" Paul leered at him.

"Sniffin' out bitches?" Quil asked, earning five different food items being tossed at his head.

"Hey, soda cans hurt!"

"Then watch your mouth," Emily scolded with a smile. She was hopeless when it came to her boys, she loved them all so much. No matter how bad their mouths or how wicked their jokes she loved them like they were her children or her brothers. Emily would silence them with just a look, though, if they ever crossed the line. None of them would ever want to upset her.

"So, how IS Angela?" I asked when he finally sat down and grabbed some food.

"Good," he mumbled looking at the ground.

"You tell her yet?" I asked quietly knowing that Quil and Jared's heated conversation about the importance of some kind of technique having to do with some kind of sporting game would pull everyone else's attention soon.

"No, I can't, you know that." he looked at me sadly.

"Who says?"

"The elders and it's Alpha law..."

"It was Sam's Alpha law, and he's not Alpha anymore! Talk to Jake. You should tell her. Angela can handle it, trust me."

"You think?" his eyes were hopeful and his voice a little shaky as if he hadn't let himself even hope for her to understand.

"I'm positive Em. Angela's good people, she should be here with us now. You should be happy." I smiled and pulled him into a hug, knowing that whether he spoke to Jake or not, it wouldn't be long before Angela knew our secret.

By the end of the day we had cleared path wide enough for a car from our house to Sam's. Eventually we'd have our own driveway too but for now, this would give us fast access to Sam and a way to get a car back here. The ground was full of holes and there was still a lot of work left to do but we had accomplished so much.

We were all exhausted and excited by how much we had gotten done. As night fell the pack walked back to Sam's, leaving Jake and I alone in our new home. Blankets and pillows had been stacked in front of the fire that was technically too warm for giving our new living room a homey feeling. The entire first floor had an open floor plan, and from my seat by the fire I could see where the kitchen would be. This old cabin didn't have any appliances, but it did have running water. The first thing we'd have to do was install a bathroom so we could stop using the old outhouse back in the woods.

Jake was outside grabbing the rest of the food Emily had brought us for the night. I had on the jeans and t-shirt Leah brought over for me. I had packed a bag for after the wedding and left it at her house, not realizing we wouldn't be going back over there. It was nice to be in clothes again but now and then I would look down and see I had sprouted a feather on my arm or side. I was going to need to learn how to control this whole transformation thing a little better. I had the ability to control how much of the Thunderbird I turned into, which was so different from the wolves. Soon I'd need to spend time figuring out the boundaries of my new form.

But not tonight.

Tonight I grabbed a lamp and finally climbed the stairs up to the loft. Kim and Leah had been up here, and the dust still swirling in the air was threatening all of their hard work. Upstairs I could see the holes in the roof that would need to be repaired; the moonlight was shining in through a hole so big we might want to consider just making it a sky light.

I turned off the lamp and looked around. There were heat vents in the floor so that the fireplace could warm the second floor as well. The ceiling was slanted and even I couldn't walk around the whole room standing up, but the space was large and would be great to use for something. The scent of history filled this place and the faint fragrance of hope permeated the falls, making this my home.

"Hey! Where's my beautiful bride?" Jake called out from below making me smile.

"Up here, lover!" I smiled up at the full moon above me, thanking the stars and the moon and the sky for their gift of love before descending to spend my second night in my new home with my husband.

* * *

Edward paced through the first floor of his house. He'd been doing that for hours now, making everyone in his home uncomfortable. Their small, tightly knit coven was more like a family than any other group of vampires he had ever met but he couldn't help but feel like that was all going to change.

Where was Alice?

She had left two days before the wedding. Edward hadn't told anyone about her disappearance until they found out themselves, unable to believe that she had actually left. Jasper, her mate, was the first to approach him, asking if he had seen anything in Alice's mind that would explain her leaving.

The fact was that Edward couldn't explain anything he had seen in his sister's mind. She was lost, swirling in a vortex of confusion and obsession. Ever since Jake's illness and Bella's subsequent transformation, the Cullens had seen little of Bella Swan. Edward felt like he had lost a part of his very soul, like something that had been pre-destined to be was stolen away from him. Every time he looked at Bella or caught a glimpse of her scent, Edward felt like he was dying. Watching her marry Jacob Black had been the most difficult thing he had ever done.

Edward shook his head, trying to dismiss his feelings for Bella from his mind. It did him no good to dwell on her. She would never be his, she should never be his. She was living and breathing and he was a dead soulless thing that deserved whatever torment God had designed for him. If having tasted Bella's blood only to know its sweetness and never have it again was his punishment, he would bear that. He knew he would love her until the end of his existence, because the kindness in her eyes filled his heart with a song.

As painful as it was to never truly have her, he was content to have whatever piece of her that she would share with him. That she would befriend him at all, knowing what he was, was nothing short of a miracle.

Alice had not seen things the same way. She had never accepted that Bella would choose life over our eternal death. For some reason Bella Swan had struck a chord inside Edward's sister that he had never seen before.

For the first time in their years together, Edward saw the darkness that had lead to her human institutionalization. He saw it as soon as he returned from Alaska, when his sister had told him about the vision she'd had of Bella with golden eyes with such fervor. She had tried to hold back her excitement, allowing time and nature to take what she considered the natural course, but Edward's ability to read minds allowed him to see past her facade.

Alice had become obsessed.

Alice did not remember her human life. She had either been so insane during that time that she truly could not access coherent memories, or she had blocked them out all together. There were times when Alice thought she was alone, and that was when she would open the Pandora's box of her mind. Sometimes without meaning to, when sitting alone on the room at night, she would lose herself in the insanity of the past.

Edward had always tried to avoid seeing the darkness Alice kept buried so deep within herself. He would leave the house or focus on something intensely so as not to intrude, but the thing about reading minds is that it is not always something you could control. Nor was it always voluntary.

More than once Edward had been pulled into the bleak memories of his sister, not even realizing what had happened until after it was done. He would relive a moment or see a picture from her human tragedy and would swear to himself never to speak of it and always to keep her close.

This was one of the reasons these two had always been so close. Brother and sister, never by blood but certainly of spirit, they were both cursed with the ability to know things that they shouldn't. It entertained the others the way they would have conversations or play a game, just sitting and thinking at each other, but to them it was a refuge. Someone else on this planet of normalcy understood their otherness. Together they could feel almost normal.

So when Edward was drawn to the siren song of Bella Swan's blood, it only made sense that Alice would be as well. And when Edward was infatuated with the strangeness of her mind, Alice's obsession was only the natural counterpart to her brother.

Once Alice glimpsed a future of Bella, her blood singing in the winter air, her eyes a fierce yellow, her nails sharp, and her body as fast as fate's hand, it only made sense that Alice believed them on the natural path. Edward would have his mate and Alice would finally have her sister,

Rosalie had never been kind to Alice. They tolerated each other but Alice's strangeness grated on Rose's nerves, and Rosalie's snobbish behavior only proved to make Alice feel even less normal than she did already. Images of Rose, bloody and dismembered, would float through Alice's mind when she first joined the coven. She believed she could never truly belong as long as someone was always pointing out her strangeness.

The night Edward watched Alice follow Rose into the woods alone was the first time he had ever been afraid of his sister.

Rosalie had caught the scent of bear and was stalking it, hoping to find its cubs, the blood of a bear cub being so much sweater than that of its mother. Alice's mind was flashing images of Rose's skin peeling off into purple smoke and images of another woman, also blond, who had burned Alice with a fireplace poker so many year ago. The two women merged in Alice's mind until she could no longer differentiate her sister from her childhood torturer.

Edward had caught up to Alice that night before she could harm Rosalie. He held her as she struggled and soothed her as she screamed into the night against the injustices she couldn't remember but that still plagued her mind. After that, Edward made sure to always keep an eye on where Alice was, not wanting something like that to happen without him around.

Jasper was fortunately understanding of the sibling relationship between the two. Alice would often seek out Edward when upset, needing the company of another creature whose mind was as broken as hers.

The promise of Bella as a sister, of happiness for her beloved and devoted brother, for another creature to share herself with without fear of judgement or rejection had proven to be more than Alice could stand. She craved the acceptance and love of the people around her and believed that if Bella were one of them, she would fill the emptiness Alice was stalked by every day.

But once Bella had mated with the wolf boy and Edward told Alice that her scent had changed, Alice had lost perspective. Edward watched as her mind crumbled under the pressure to imagine a future without Bella in it. Alice was not strong enough, and her obsession had won?.

From that day on, Bella had barely been in school and Edward had taken great pains to make sure that when she was, Alice was either away or forced to stay home. His father did not understand his concern but respected Edward's opinion. Alice's behavior became more and more erratic, almost as if she were going through something akin to human withdrawal. She would vacillate between moments of clarity and moments of unrecognisable rage.

Alice's mind was shattering into a million small pieces, all of which reflected the image of Bella Swan.

Two days before Bella's wedding, Alice had disappeared. Edward had not seen her make the decision to go and did not know where should would have gone. All that she left behind was a note for Bella in a sealed envelope. Edward had not delivered it, had not mentioned it to Bella, but had carried it around unopened in his pocket ever since. He was at a complete loss as to what to do. The only person he could trust with these kinds of decisions was gone, the very focus of his confusion.

So when Jasper came to him, begging for some kind of insight into the disappearance of his mate, Edward had only shook his head and embraced his devastated brother. What more could he do? It would serve no purpose to break Jasper's heart more by telling him about the madness Alice had succumbed to.

The entire family was in shambles. Emmett and Rose left to search for her but with no leads and no theories it was more of a gesture than an honest attempt to find her. His mother Esme was distraught, devastated by the loss of her daughter,and Carlisle's own depression was pushed aside so that he could help his beloved wife make peace with the reality that Alice had left them.

Edward, though, suspected she would be back. He knew first hand how impossible it was to stay away from the object of your obsession, from the siren song of what you believed to be inevitable. Edward found it impossible and knew that he would never leave Forks as long as Bella Swan was there, if only to be near her and watch.

Alice would not stay away long, but when she did return, would she still be Alice?

Would distance bring her perspective and sanity or only drive her further into her obsession?

Where was Alice?

The questions plagued his mind and bore down on him with the weight of a thousand life times.

Where was Alice...


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N - my darling readers. I love you so! Welcome to Chapter 32! I hope you enjoy it. Chapter 33 is already underway but won't be up until next week. My Beautiful BETA YNotJacob is coming to visit me! So debauchery shall ensue but not much writing I'm afraid :) See you next week! Please read and review.**

* * *

The days passed quickly at the cabin. By the time graduation rolled around we had a gravel path to Sam's and were preparing to pave the driveway to the main road. The house was quickly decorated with items from local yard sales and swap meets. Plus, Jake had told everyone about the cabin before the wedding so most of our gifts were furniture or money.

It was amazing how quickly we were able to settle in and make this place our home. Jake took all of the money we got from the wedding and bought new windows that he and Embry installed. Phil sent us a gift card to Sears for new appliances. The cabin had electricity and running water, so it seemed someone had tried to live here more recently than Jake thought. But it had been too isolated for anyone to stay for long, unless they had a little supernatural help to clear trees.

Phil's card said that the gift card was from him and my mother, but I knew that she didn't have anything to do with it. She wouldn't have been so thoughtful or practical. Plus, it was for much more money then she would have ever parted with. Despite being closer to my age then to my mother's, Phil was definitely winning the competition for better parent.

It broke my heart that I hadn't spoken with Renee since the wedding. It was two days before graduation when the card from Phil came. Along with it was a check for five hundred dollars with a note that they were sorry they couldn't come up for the weekend. I wondered if I would ever see her again. I knew I shouldn't pout. I was luck to have Charlie as my Dad and that he was working so hard to be a part of my new bizarre life. I had Billy and Sue and all of the other pack families who had taken me in and treated me like I was one of their own, but there was no replacement for the love you have for your own mother.

Her absence ate at me in a way that I hadn't felt since I'd moved here from Phoenix. This time, it wasn't just that she was too busy for me; it was that she actively didn't want me. It was a terrible and painful realization that snuck up behind me and beat me over the head with such power I felt like a part of my heart would never recover.

I was lost in my thoughts when Jake came downstairs. We had put a mattress upstairs in the loft once the skylight was in and it was a cozy bedroom for us. Downstairs we had a couch and a small TV next to the fireplace. We only got three stations but Charlie had promised to get us cable somehow, even if it was satellite, so that he could come watch the game at our place sometimes.

"Morning, baby," Jake mumbled, rubbing the heels of his hands into his eyes. He was in just his boxers and his hair was shaggy again. His sculpted body approached me and his arms wrapped around my waist sleepily. "I love you," he growled with his scratchy morning voice into my neck as he folded me into his arms.

I sighed contentedly against him. His smooth skin against mine, his musky scent filling my world with memories of running in the forest with Pup and flying through the fog in the early morning with him on my back.

He pulled away from me slowly, placing a hot kiss on my cheek. "How'd you sleep?"

"Not much, thanks to you," I smirked, lifting myself onto my tip toes and kissing him again.

"Yeah, well, I won't apologize for that," he chuckled, lowering his face into my neck. He kissed the crook of my neck, sucking softly on the muscle there.

"Mmmm, Jake," I sighed, leaning back into his arms, letting him support me. He moaned against my skin softly as I wrapped my arms around his neck, letting my fingers clutch at the hair at the base of his neck.

I let one hand fall to the top of his shoulder as he nipped at my skin softly, making goose bumps rise on my arms. He inhaled deeply, pulling my desire for him into his lungs and exhaled with a moan that made my legs shake.

His kisses moved to my lips where I greeted him with joy and eagerness. Languidly our lips moved together, my hands slowly exploring his shoulders and biceps. His body was a drug for me. I never got tired of the feeling of his skin.

Too soon he retreated from my lips with a peck and a smile.

"Don't stop!" I whined, looking up at him disappointingly.

"Bella, you have to get dressed. Come on, your dad's expecting us at the dinner in like 45 minutes," he smiled down at me.

"I don't want to go," I stepped out of his grasp and crossed my arms over my chest.

"Bella..." he chuckled.

"Don't laugh at me, you overgrown puppy! I don't want to go!" I pouted without thinking about it, unable to keep my bottom lip from jutting out.

"What is it, Bells?" Jake asked, reaching out toward me, barely containing his mocking smile. I stepped back before he could touch me and broke my resolve with his reasonableness.

"I just...I don't see any reason to go. I mean I passed all my classes, they'll mail my diploma to me, I've barely been there for the last semester anyway..."

"Yeah..." he conceded, sitting on the back of the couch and crossing his arms over his broad chest. He was distractingly attractive, especially with his early morning hair and the faint sweaty smell of sleep. "But if it didn't matter, then why did you study so hard for your finals? And why did you do that little dance when your dad brought over your report card with all As?"

"I just...I like getting As! I don't like standing up in front of a bunch of people in a stupid hat!" I stomped and pouted again causing Jake to hunch over in laughter.

"Did you seriously just stomp your foot?" he howled. "Oh my God! I thought girls only did that in movies!"

"Shut up!" I yelled, swatting at his big, stupid head, making him laugh harder as he attempted to defend himself from my attack. "Shut up, shut up!" I screamed as I pushed him over the back of the couch.

His hands grabbed me and pulled me over with him, tumbling over the couch and onto the floor in front of the fireplace. I was still hitting him and he was still laughing. He rolled on top of me and pinned me to the ground. His hands holding my wrists firmly. I looked up at him and smiled.

"So, what are we playing at now?" I asked making him chuckle again.

"Nothing you perv," Jake rolled off of me onto his side and rested his head in his hand. "You need to get up and get dressed to meet Charlie. And I have to run over to Sam's for a shower."

"Crap," I said, throwing my head back against the ground, instantly regretting it. "Ow!"

"Babe, you gotta just calm down, okay?" Looking down at me he smiled his bright, earth-shattering smile and began tracing designs on my stomach. I was still wearing his t-shirt that I had grabbed off of the floor in our loft before coming down.

"Shut up," I pouted.

"Very mature." He lifted his hand and poked me on the nose. "But you-" poke "-are going-" poke "-to your graduation-" poke.

I sighed and groaned, covering my face with my hands.

Jake stood up and leaned down over me. "Come on," he said kindly offering me his hand.

"You aren't going to let me out of this are you?" I peeked out at him from between my fingers.

"Nope," he smiled and I reached up and took his hand. He pulled me gently to him and kissed the top of my head. "Go get dressed. I'll make some coffee before going over to Sam's, okay? I'll be ready to go in twenty minutes."

"Fine," I sighed before going upstairs and rummaging through the suitcases we were living out of to find clean underwear. I couldn't wait to order the washer and dryer.

Getting into town didn't take long once we hiked over to Sam's where our car was parked. Our car...our house...our life. It was still going to take me a while to get used to that. The goofy smile on my face betrayed my utter joy at joining the status of "we".

Jake drove quickly with one hand on my leg, smiling and talking about the next phase of home improvement he was planning. He was having so much fun working on the house. I could see that the love he had for working on cars was extending to this project. He thrived on creating something amazing out of what other people consider useless junk.

By the time we got there, he had my mind completely off of graduation and we were hysterical at the image of Quil and Paul digging a septic tank in our yard. When I asked if we should build a special wolf outhouse so that we wouldn't have dog shit all over the yard, Jake almost drove into the back of a parked car in the diner parking lot he was laughing so hard.

"Bells, I will give you $10 to give that job to Paul," Jake laughed as he got out of the car.

"I'll take that $10 and raise you $15 to tell Quil the septic system has to be tested manually."

We walked laughing, hand in hand, into the diner. My father was sitting the middle of the crowded diner looking uncomfortable in a suit. He had dressed up more then either of us had. I felt a little bad but was touched that he had gone out of his way to make a big deal out of this. No matter how much I didn't want to walk across that stage it WAS important to me. I had worked really hard for my grades and had done it despite all of the chaos in my life the last year.

"Bells!" Charlie called when he saw me, standing up with a huge smile. He was so loud most of the diner turned at looked at him but he was oblivious.

"Bella, baby, I'm so proud of you!" He pulled me into a tight hug when I walked over to him. Without thinking, I wrapped my arms around his neck and let him hold me for a moment. My dad was the best guy ever.

The diner was full of families out celebrating before graduation, and it was like a reunion to see everyone that I had seen so little of lately. A few people looked critically at the tattoo on my face and I could hear the muttered gossip, but nonetheless this was my home and most of the people were wonderful. I promised myself that I would find a way to maintain my friendships with them no matter what supernatural drama was going on in my life.

Lunch passed quickly with me eating an entire steak, Jake eating a cheese burger and a full bowl of spaghetti and meatballs, and my father laughing at us while he chewed.

"What?" Jake said. "Building a house takes a lot of work!"

"Breaking the cellar door took a lot of work, too," I mumbled as I put a french fry in my mouth.

"That was so not my fault!" he protested loudly. "Besides, you're the one who dropped the log on my head!" he retorted under his breath.

"Bella! How are you?" Amber said, coming over to our table and wrapping her arms around my father's neck. She kissed him on the cheek making him blush before he grumbled his hello.

"I'm great Amber, good to see you," I smiled at the woman who had softened my father from McGruff the Crime Dog to doting boyfriend. "Are you working all night?"

"I am, but I'll be over at your dad's house after my shift if you want to come by. We can celebrate your graduation then." Charlie looked at me sheepishly after Amber's open admission to staying at the house now that I had moved out. I had to fight the urge to tease him, but I knew it was hard for Charlie to be comfortable with his new relationship so I bit down on my lip before responding.

"That would be nice; I don't think we have anything planned..." I turned to look at Jake with a meaningful eyebrow raise. If he was planning something tonight I was going to kill him.

"No, no, I'm not stupid," Jake held up his hands.

"Bella!" Angela came over to our table with Embry close behind her. "I didn't know you guys would be here!" her smile was overflowing with excitement. Her entire family was here to celebrate with her and it looked like the introductions to Embry had gone well.

"Just a quick bite before going to the school," I smiled, reaching out and taking Jacob's hand. I could feel the cold fist of anxiety closing around my chest, making it harder to breathe. But as soon as his hand was in mine I felt my strength return.

"Hey, man," Embry nodded to Jake who raised an eyebrow and glanced over at Angela. Embry's smile turned into a blush and he looked away from his Alpha's knowing eyes.

"Alright," Charlie said, standing up and tucking Amber under his arm, "it's getting a little crowded for the over 35 crowd." He kissed Amber on the forehead. "I'm going to take off. I'll see you kids after the ceremony."

"Charlie," Jake said standing up. "I'll save you a seat."

"Thanks, Jake." My dad smiled at my husband fondly while shaking his hand, filling my heart with joy. Without another word he turned away to pay for lunch and left the diner.

"Okay, so, how are we going to get out of hanging with my family tonight?" Angela said conspiratorially, sitting in my father's seat. Embry pulled up a chair for himself and sat down as well.

"I don't know Ang, why?"

"Well, Embry and I wanted to go to the beach and, okay, I'm not good at this, but can I tell my mom I'm going to your place?" she asked sheepishly, Embry not looking at either of us.

"You Em? You need a lie to cover your ass?" Jake asked thickly.

"No Jake, I'm good." Embry replied.

"Good." Jake did not like the pack lying to their parents; they had to put up with enough worry and fear over the job their children did, no reason to make it worse.

"Well Ang, its fine with me, but you know, will your mom let you? I mean, it's not like there are parents home."

"Yeah, I think it'll be fine. She'll just feel better knowing where I am instead of 'Oh, hey mom, I'm going to go hang out with my boyfriend on First Beach all night,'" she laughed freely. Angela was beautiful, and the light in her eyes that had begun to shine since spending time with Embry made her down right gorgeous.

"Okay, yeah, and if you guys get cold or too sandy you're totally welcome to come over." I added.

"Awesome!" Angela said. "When are we going to have the housewarming party?"

"Let's make it an actual house first! No one wants to come to a party where they have to use an outhouse!" I laughed.

"Or watch for dog shit in the yard," Jake added, placing his fork on his empty plate, his bottomless pit of a stomach satisfied for now.

"You got a dog?" Angela asked.

"Hmmm, in a manner of speaking," I said patting Jake on the leg, making his face tighten up in warning that I was walking precariously close to the edge of the line.

"Angela!" Her mother's voice rang out, calling her back to where her family was sitting.

"Uggh, uncle Mort's going to want to tell the story about finding me naked and dancing to the Annie album in the living room again." She rolled her eyes.

"Oh my God, what I wouldn't pay to see that!" Embry exclaimed.

"Like you have any money," Angela retorted, making us all laugh.

"Angela..." her mother's voice rang out through the diner again.

"Bye guys." Angela and Embry stood up and made their way back to where her family was sitting.

Sitting alone, Jake held my hand on the table, looking around at the groups of people beginning to leave.

"It's about that time," he said finally.

"Ugghhh," I groaned, making him chuckle. Jake stood, never releasing my hand until we were outside next to the Rabbit.

"I love you," he whispered into my hair before kissing my lips softly. I swooned with the closeness of him. "I have no present and no party for you, just like you'd want it, but when we get home..." he leered at me suggestively, "we will celebrate. All you have to do is get through the afternoon."

"Deal" I breathed before wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling his lips down to meet mine. My body folded into his neatly, his large arms wrapping around me completely. For a moment the entire world faded away as his lips moved with mine and his tongue reached out to meet me; so in sync our souls reached out to embrace.

"Lover...we have to go," he whispered as he pulled away from me. Reminding me of the time, and that the sun was out, and that we were standing in a public parking lot. I got so lost in him. He overwhelmed my senses.

The graduation ceremony was as monotonous and annoying as I had expected. The caps and gowns were bright blue and itchy. I was certain I was going to end up with lice or something equally horrible from wearing it. Mine, of course, was two sizes too big and I swam in it like a toddler. Mike and Eric were trying to convince Tyler to write something obscene on his hat while we waited in line, and Jessica spent all of her time sulking that her cousin Derek hadn't come to the graduation. Apparently she had some Appalachian-style crush on him.

Finally we were seated in alphabetical order in the gym, and Edward was sitting two rows ahead of me with an empty seat next to him. Alice... I hadn't thought much about Alice since her betrayal during the fight with James. I couldn't reconcile the friend I thought she was with the monster who was willing to sit and watch me die. But in retrospect, I'd stopped even trying to avoid her when I was in school; she was just never around.

I was lost in my thoughts when I felt eyes on me. Turning, I saw that Jasper, Alice's boyfriend who I had rarely spoken to, was looking at me with intensity.

_What?_ I mouthed as the principal stepped up to the microphone and began speaking. Jasper held my eyes and I was suddenly overwhelmed with sadness. I was thrown back into my seat with the power of it. I gripped at the edge of my seat trying not to cry out, a sob threatening to rip out of me with the intensity of a hurricane. My chest compressed with the ache of loss and my tears fell quickly before I could stop them. I began grasping at my chest, trying to stop the pain that was eating me alive.

I looked over at Jasper and saw his tears falling at the same rate as mine.

_Stop!_ I begged wordlessly, barely able to catch my breath as the sorrow tightened around my lungs. _Please._

Edward turned back and looked at his brother with a glare, making Jasper look away from me and end his assault. I gasped, trying to regain my composure, my hands clenching the gown in front of me.

"Edward..." I whispered but he just looked away, a deep sorrow in his eyes.

I took a deep breath and steadied myself, trying to calm down after the emotional attack that I had just endured. What could have made him do that to me? The look in his eyes... I shivered again at the memory of the depth of his despair. It was brutal, like having been beaten and then left, cold and exposed, waiting to die. But this pain, I knew this pain; this was what I felt like when Jacob and I had been apart. This was heartbreak in its purest form.

I glanced over at Jasper with a strange mixture of fear and empathy and sighed.

I sat back in my seat, glad that everyone was too wrapped up in the pageantry of the day to notice what had just transpired. Soon we were standing up and walking across the stage, and I was focused on holding my gown off the ground so much I almost forgot to shake the principal's hand.

After a few speeches, Angela got up to give the valedictorian address which was all about embracing what you have and listening to your heart. Yes, she was going to be good for Embry, there was no doubt in my mind. She finished with a promise to keep in touch and wishes of luck and happiness to us all and was congratulated with a round of applause. Soon we were all throwing our caps into the air, and despite my insistence that this ceremony didn't matter, I was caught up in the moment, even hugging Lauren when she greeted me after everything was over.

In the back of the gym, towering over everyone else was my pack, their mates, my husband and the two old men who were my parents. I smiled as I walked to greet them, knowing that despite my insistence not to have this be a big deal I was glad they were there.

"Bella!" Kim squealed and ran to greet me first, almost knocking me over with her enthusiasm.

"Easy there, Kimmy," I laughed, trying to regain our balance.

"You're a grownup! A full-fledged one-hundred-percent grownup!" she laughed, hugging me.

"The wedding wasn't what did it, huh?" Jake laughed joining us, wrapping his arms around my waist.

Charlie, Billy and Sam were deep in conversation about something. Jared voted football while Quil insisted it would have to be the quality of the strip clubs outside of Forks.

As we talked, Angela joined us and I looked over the crowd to see if I could find Edward anywhere. In the middle of the room, surrounded by emptiness like a moat in the sea of bodies, were the Cullens. As I watched, Edward's mother, Esme, embraced him sweetly. I recognized Carlisle and Jasper but standing with them were two others that I had never seen before. A tall unbelievably beautiful blond and what appeared to be her boyfriend. He was muscular and had dark curly hair that made him stand out from the others.

Their facade of family was hard to accept, but I knew first hand how truly kind they could be.

Soon Leah, Kim, Emily and I were hugging and laughing and planning what we were going to do for Kim's graduation next month. The gym was crowded and people were beginning to file out. Quil swooped me into a hug and threw me back onto his back to carry me out, leaving my cap and gown on the ground for whoever had the unfortunate job of cleaning up after this event.

As we filed out, the laughter booming from my rambunctious group stopped short as a sickly sweet smell wafted through the gym. I recognized this scent. It was familiar to the Cullens but thicker.

Suddenly Edward was standing in front of us, dressed impeccably in a charcoal suit and purple shirt. His appearance was too fast for his charade at being human so whatever was happening was more important then the appearance of normality.

"Cullen," Jake greeted him coldly as I jumped off of Quil's back and walked to stand next to my mate.

"Jacob," Edward nodded. "Bella," he glanced at me with a small smile before lowering his eyes to the ground.

"What is it Cullen? Cut the crap," Jake blurted out, making me hiss at him.

"Edward, what's wrong?" I asked, hoping he would meet my eyes.

"I don't know." He looked at me with worried eyes. I could see his concern etched in his marble features and he looked as if he needed sleep.

"Who is here? We can smell it," Quil stated, stepping forward.

"What's going on?" Angela asked Embry from the back of the group, reminding us all that this was not a safe place to talk.

"Nothing, Angela." I plastered on a smile and turned back to my friend, reaching out to take Edward's hand and eliciting a low growl from Jacob. "Edward just came over to say hi."

I pulled Edward down into a hug and met Jake's eyes who led the rest of the group out. When they were out of human hearing distance I pulled away, noting that his hands lingered on my body longer than necessary.

"Edward..." I began but was stopped short by the pain in his eyes. "Hey, what is it?" I asked gently.

"Bella, I don't know. Someone's here. You know it, and I know it."

Outside I could hear voices rising, Jacob's Alpha tone pinging my senses and pulling me to him.

"Something is happening," I said, my eyes on the door, my mind no longer focused on Edward.

He grabbed my shoulders roughly and pulled my attention back to him, "I don't know why they would be here but it can't be good... They are close... I can't hear their thoughts; something is masking it, like a low hum, like someone told them how to block me... The only person who knows how to do that other than you is..."

"Alice..." I whispered as she entered the still crowded gym.


	33. Chapter 33

"No..." Edward stuttered as his eyes followed mine to the sight of his sister moving slowly through the sea of bodies like a dancer swaying to some unheard music. Her movements were rhythmic and easy, flowing from one step to the next without stopping. She almost appeared to be floating through the crowd.

"Alice...no..." Edward's voice broke and as I turned to look at him I saw the horror on his face.

"Edward, what is it?" I placed a hand on his stone arm but he only shook his head, waterless tears desperate to be freed in an effort to alleviate his pain.

He stepped backwards slowly as Alice continued toward us. Turning back to her I couldn't see her eyes for the dark black sunglasses that sat across her face. Her hair was spiky and wild but had a feral look to it that accentuated her small stature, making her menacing.

"Edward, what's going on?" I demanded, afraid to turn my back on the small black figure that advanced deliberately. He was frozen, horror and pain twisting his features and bending his thoughts until Edward could see nothing but the insanity raging within his sister's mind.

I was afraid to leave him in this state and my thoughts reached out to Jacob.

_Qwoli?_

_T'ist'ilal! Are you alright?_

_What is going on? Alice is here, Jake, and Edward is stunned or frozen or something..._

_T'ist'ilal get out of there...NOW...something is happening!_

The command in my head was so urgent and strong that I grabbed Edward's hand and started running, knocking into people in our path on the way out. Edward followed behind me, lifelessly, his body doing as I directed simply to avoid falling down, no thought or agreement was made. Something was terribly, terribly wrong.

Opening the gymnasium door we walked out into the bright mid-morning light. The sky was clear and Edward flinched beside me, jumping out of the sun to avoid his sparkling skin being detected. Behind us, Alice had adjusted her course but moved at the same plodding speed.

"Edward," I hissed close to his face. "We have to get out of here!"

"No...I ...can't..." he stumbled on his words, his eyes vacant and pained. I looked around for Jake and saw my father standing nearby talking to one of his deputies who also had a son in my class.

"Dad!" I called and waved with what I hoped was a smile.

Charlie walked over quickly, seeing the look in my eyes.

"What?" he got right down to business.

"Dad, I need you to take Edward to my house. Now. He can't drive and people can't see him in the sun."

"Will he burst into flames?" Charlie whispered excitedly.

"No, God...dad, please, just...hurry." I pleaded looking anxiously behind me at the advancing black figure.

_T'ist'ilal!_ Jake called in my mind.

"Dad, please, GO!" I urged and my father's eyes opened wide.

"Okay, here son, let me put my arm around you. Can you act sick?" Charlie spoke to a dazed Edward and received no response.

"Just do it, dad. Just drag him along."

I turned for a moment to my friend. "Edward, I'll be there soon. Go with Charlie, you're safe."

"Bella," Edward whispered, his eyes still misted over. "Bella, no...she's...oh God..."

Edward bent over in tearless sobs and my father ushered him out to the car quickly.

_T'ist'ilal!_

_Qwoli, where are you? _I searched the crowd without turning my back on Alice and noticed that there were others dressed in black wearing similarly dark sunglasses standing in eerie stillness around the parking lot.

_Football field_

I turned and walked, as fast as I could around the corner of the school where the pack was waiting for me. Kim, Emily and Leah were huddled with the boys examining something I could not see.

"What's going on?" I asked as I sprinted the last stretch toward them.

"This," Sam replied with a frown etched deeply in his face as he handed me a pink piece of paper.

_Graduation Party Tonight in Honor of All of Us!  
Come Celebrate at the Cullen's House  
8PM-?  
Alice Cullen_

"Alice...she's here but there's something wrong...when Edward saw her it was like he'd been hit with a car, he just..."

"Bella?" Angela ran up to us from the school where she had been talking to her parents. "Hey guys! Why are you all out here? Everyone's hanging out by the parking lot but people are starting to leave. Do you guys want to...?" She looked at the serious faces around her. "What's going on?"

"Angela," Jake began, "Embry's going to take you back to our place now, we'll explain later."

"What? No, I just came back here to..."

Embry stepped out of the group without questioning his Alpha and began to usher her back toward his car.

"...Em, what the hell? I have to at least tell my parents..." her voice trailed off when she noticed Alice approaching our group, flanked by two small females in black clothing and impenetrable black glasses. Their movements were unconsciously coordinated. Without thinking about the crowd of humans just around the corner of the school building, the pack simultaneously crouched down with a growl.

Embry pushed Angela roughly behind him as the air around us sparked with the magic that explained the pack's existence.

"I don't want a fight here," Jake spoke softly, urging his wild brothers to remain calm.

"We aren't the ones hosting an all you can eat vamp buffet." Paul's voice was feral and aggressive; his tone alone would be enough to make most humans turn the other direction.

"A what?" Angela whispered but did not receive a response.

"Isabella!" Alice's voice rang out in the bright mid-day air like a pure silver bell. Behind her I could see more strangers approaching us, dressed in black with sunglasses hiding their eyes.

"Alice." I responded flatly stepping in front of the group of extremely agitated werewolves I called my family. Why was she here, where had she been, what had Edward seen?

"Your song is a sweet as ever, beautiful Bella." Closer now, the thick sickly sweet smell I had detected earlier inflamed my senses. I could feel her eyes on me; even with the dark glasses her stare was boring into my soul. Her body and face would move as she spoke, but her eyes never wavered.

"Alice what is going on?" There was no sense in playing games; there was clearly something happening and I was not in on the planning stages.

"Everything is perfect, or it soon will be. All the stars are lining up and creation is upon us!" She smiled and her teeth glimmered in the sun, her cheeks sparkling slightly from what light reached her skin.

"The fuck it is." Paul stepped forward next to Jake, the hair on his arms standing at attention with the electricity in the air.

"A puppy!" Alice clapped her hands and smiled at Paul like he was a golden retriever.

"What the fuck is this?" Sam demanded roughly, holding out the invitation.

"Only a party." The small blond standing to Alice's left said lightly. Her eyes scanned the pack, instinctively knowing her enemies. Alice held out a hand and the young girl, no older than fifteen, took it smoothly. Alice broke her eyes away from mine and smiled down at her blond companion with affection.

"Why?" Jake asked.

"A party! I love parties, it's been so long since I've had anything to celebrate," Alice pouted before breaking out into a smile. "But now it's a family reunion! And all of my loves will be together..." she reached with her free arm as if to take my hand, making Jake's body vibrate with the growl reverberating through him.

"No fucking way," Jake threatened, stepping between me and the tiny but deadly vampires.

Alice laughed and fell into her companions arms. "Didn't I tell you?" she asked excitedly. "Where else can you find all the exciting wildlife we have here?"

"It's true! They are so much cuddlier than the creatures Aro collects," the small girl replied with a laugh.

"You should see them all furry, like giant stuffed animals. That's what we should do!" Alice bounced with glee at her idea. "We will have them stuffed, like the prizes they are!" she looked over the pack excitedly.

The remaining group of vampires were now standing behind Alice in a mirror image of my pack standing behind me. Alice and her two female counterparts were joined by three male vampires. There were six of them in all and the smell was overwhelming. I could feel the vibrations of the pack trying not to phase.

"Alice?" a voice drawled from behind her, pulling her attention away from me.

"Jazz..." she sighed without turning toward him. Her head leaned back as if she were looking at the sky and her mouth opened softly. The others behind her remained still and unfazed as Jasper pushed his way through them toward Alice.

"Alice?" he asked, barely concealing the sobs trying to break to the surface. "Are you..."

"Jasper!" she exclaimed turning toward him with a smile and open arms.

He lunged for her suddenly, sweeping his beloved into his arms. He spoke to her quickly with unrestrained words of love and longing that melted my heart toward the vampire who had attacked me only hours before.

"Where have you been? My heart has been bleeding," he whispered into her hair as he held her against his body.

"We need to get out of here," I whispered to Jake, noticing more of the Cullens coming toward us. Esme and Carlisle as well as the two I didn't know were moving as quickly as their human façade would allow. Jacob reached out and took my hand protectively.

"What have you been eating?" He pushed her slightly away from his embrace but kept his hands on her arms, forgetting our presence. "Where have you been?"

"There's a little mouse here with us," the blond cooed to Alice. "A little mouse who doesn't belong." Her voice sang with excitement.

"Where? Is it a door mouse?" Alice asked excitedly, breaking away from Jasper. "How did I miss it?"

She took in a deep breath and sighed, falling against her mate's chest dramatically. "Oh there is a little mouse here...who's hiding her?" Tilting her head to the side she began looking over each of the wolves. Her gaze making them recoil and growl in revulsion.

Embry's growl began low in his chest and only a sharp look from Jake stopped him from phasing and attacking at the mere suggestion of injury to Angela. The rest of the pack unconsciously moved closer together, ushering the girls to the center of the group where they could be best defended.

"Alice, what are you talking about?" Jasper asked trying to grab onto her but she out maneuvered him. She was fast as she darted around the pack, like a predator cat playing with its food.

"Here! Here!" she cried excitedly, standing a few feet from Angela who was clinging to Embry's back, not sure what was happening but knowing that this was not good. "Little mouse, come out of your hole, come on, I won't hurt you," Alice smiled kindly.

"Alice?" Angela asked quietly, beginning to step forward. Embry pushed her further behind him with a warning glare and turned on Alice. His snarls were loud and it was clear that he would phase despite Jake's warning before allowing Angela to be injured. His jaw snapped at Alice as she leaned closer to speak her target; his inner wolf beginning to take over.

"No! Don't hide little mouse! The big bad wolf isn't your friend...not like I can be."

"Alice!" Carlisle Cullen spoke sharply as he closed in on his daughter.

Alice's head snapped around at the sound of his voice, her teeth bared like she was expecting a challenge. She even crouched slightly, ready to attack. The tall blond with Carlisle crouched in mirrored position, anticipating Alice's movements; a smile spread across her lips slowly making Alice giggle excitedly.

"Rosalie! Sweet smelling sister! Has Emmett removed your thorns yet? Or are you as prickly as ever?" Alice's body swayed slowly like a cobra.

"You never were a sister of mine you little psycho," Rosalie spat back. Alice's glee at the insult spread across her face.

"Rose..." the tall dark haired vampire next to her laid a hand gently on her shoulder, pulling her against his side, either in comfort or restraint, it was not clear.

"Alice, whatever is going on, this is not the time for it. You and your friends should come back to the house." Carlisle's voice was steady and calm, despite the alarm in his eyes. Alice moved away from Embry allowing him to relax minutely and regain control over his inner wolf. As she neared the Cullens their eyes widened and Carlisle's nose wrinkled in an unspoken question. They could smell the sickly sweetness emanating from these interlopers as well.

"Alice, darlin' come home now," Jasper pleaded from where she had abandoned him earlier. Stepping toward her and closer to Sam he sent out a wave of calm. I felt as it passed over me, knowing what was happening.

"Don't." The pint-sized vampire turned on her mate, baring her teeth. "Do not try to control me! I am done being controlled, playing by the rules, being your little pet to play with and coddle. Do not patronize me with kind words while manipulating my mind. I will not be controlled!"

Jasper retreated from her, horror on his face at the passion in her attack. Slowly the artificial calm pulled back, leaving all of us raw from the rush of our returning emotions.

"That's better. Alone in my mind, clean and fresh, as if a snake has hollowed out a pathway to my heart. Vacancy is so much better than the lie of a dream." she smiled then at a confused Jasper. "Thank you my love."

"This is a fucking circus freak show," Paul muttered next to Jake bringing the attention back to the pack.

"So not helpful," Rosalie responded with a glare which would have been funny if we'd been anywhere else in the entire history of the world. Pompeii would have been a pleasant vacationing spot in comparison to this moment in time behind the small high school in Forks, Washington.

"My friends! Lovelies, meet my family." Alice floated across the field to her new coven, urging them to close in on the Cullens. The proximity of this number of vampires was becoming almost more than the pack could take. I could sense their agitation growing with each passing moment. "My father and mother, so docile and good, pictures of antiquated perfection aren't they? My brother Edward seems to have scurried off, but Rosalie and Emmet are here. Isn't it lovely to have everyone together?"

The vampires who had accompanied Alice smiled in seeming unison. Their bright teeth shining menacingly. The three males were in the back, each taller than the last. The largest of them was almost as big as Jacob. The two females who had been with Alice when she approached us stood together, hand in hand, like devil children.

"Please Alice, let's go home," Esme reasoned, trying to reach her daughter with kindness. But Alice was unfazed.

"She's not going anywhere until we know what the fuck is going on with this!" Sam stepped forward and thrust the invitation into Carlisle's face.

"I don't know Sam; I was not privy to any plans to host a party at our home." Carlisle's gaze turned on his prodigal daughter hoping for an answer.

"Privy or not, half the fucking town thinks there is a party at your house tonight!"

"Jake," Jared hissed as the others were engaged in conversation. "Let me flank left, we need to end this."

"Wait..." was all Jake said in reply, a request for his pack to behave, but not yet an Alpha command.

"A party! A party!" Alice sang, linking her arm with her blond companion and dancing in a circle before stopping and crouching low to the ground. "And the best kind of party always has finger food...and toe food...and ear food...any body part will do!" Her laugh was possessed like that of someone who had seen the end of the world and lived to tell about it only to be ignored by everyone around them. Alice was Cassandra in our wake.

"Are you...No..." Esme stepped toward her adopted daughter and attempted to reach out to her but again Alice was faster than anyone could imagine, she skipped easily out of her grasp, weaving around her family and the vampires she had brought with her.

"Alice it is time for this to stop!" Carlisle dictated as Alice flitted about, ignoring his very existence. Every movement she made escalated the pack's tension. Paul was crouched low now, his body vibrating, practically begging Jacob for permission to phase. Leah, Emily and Kim had moved closer to Angela whose confusion was second only to her terror.

Despite Jake's warning Jared began to inch his way behind the pack. Without being given a direct order he could still ignore Jake's wishes, although it wasn't easy.

Stopping in front of the largest of her vampire attendants, Alice pouted. "Dimitri...I'm hungry...I want the little mouse!"

He smiled at her indulgently. "Here, with the humans just around the corner?"

"I want that mouse!" she demanded.

"Then the mouse is what you shall have." He bowed slightly and focused on Angela making the pack growl in unison.

Jared quickly moved behind the Cullens who did not react. They had noticed him but hoped he wouldn't be on the other vampires' radar yet. Unfortunately, the medium-sized vampire male had seen him and flashed to where Jared was crouched. He lifted Jared with ease by the neck and just as Jared's form began to shimmer, Jake spoke.

"Stop this NOW!" Jake used his double timbre voice, making even the vampires momentarily lower their heads in response to the power he exuded. Jared was dropped the ground, holding his neck. Looking over I could see his eyes shining golden even in the bright mid-day sun. The vampires were well covered but what exposed skin they had sparkled and shone brightly in the air around us.

Quickly the Cullens, minus Edward, Alice and Jasper, joined the pack in surrounding Angela, protecting her from the threat Dimitri and Alice posed.

"Come on, let's go home, or hunt, come on honey." Jasper reached out to Alice just as she darted away from him, his hand knocking the dark sunglasses off of her face.

Ruby red, blood-filled eyes swept across us, leaving gasps in their wake, settling on a horrified Carlisle.

"What have you done?" Carlisle's complexion became even paler than before, a shade of gray and white I'd never seen before. Esme cried out and clung to her husband as her knees began to give out beneath her.

"Alice...no!" she cried out with devastation.

"Alice?" Jasper's voice was questioning full of confusion and betrayal.

"Get Angela out of here!" Jake's voice commanded clearly, and with that Paul quickly phased before a terrified Angela, ripping his clothes to shreds.

"What the hell!" Angela exclaimed, backing away from him toward the vampires, shock and confusion at war on her face. Chaos broke loose all around us as the Cullens instinctively reacted to Paul's phase by shifting their attention to us. Jared, still behind them, also phased in response to the threat to the pack. Embry scooped Angela up into his arms despite her protests and ran toward Paul.

The intruding vampires took full advantage of the distraction and moved to surround the remaining pack members. Jared leaped in front of them, his wolf form large and menacing in his mission to protect his family. The Cullens recovered quickly and joined Jared in keeping Alice's brood away from Angela.

"Come on Ange..." Leah hurried the shocked girl onto Paul's back. Leah held her tight as Embry phased while running and the two wolves disappeared toward our house in La Push.

"No! My mouse!" Alice cried bringing her coven's attention back to her. When they realized that the focus of Alice's desire was gone, they retreated slightly. Emily and Kim held hands and stood behind Jake and I, flanked on all sides by supernatural protectors.

Jasper attempted to pull Alice away from the crowd, talking to her in tones so low even my heightened senses could not make out his words. But she was preoccupied with her desire. Without Angela to focus on, her concentration was scattered and disjointed.

One of the male vampires with Alice, young with a cruel sneer on his face stepped forward quickly, coming closer to me than he should have. Without my consent, the Thunderbird reached out and extended her talons; in one swift slice she decapitated the vampire with a happy heart. No one other than Jake saw what had happened, so when Alice and her blond companion turned toward the carnage their immediate assumption was that he had killed the vampire. I was, after all, still human in their minds.

"Alec!" The blond cried out, rushing toward the disintegrating body crumpled at our feet. As she reached for him Jake stepped forward and delivered a powerful kick to her side. Her small body flew in the air almost the entire length of the football field where she landed gracefully on her feet like a bipedal cat.

"Alec!" she wailed as she rushed toward us again.

"Run! Now!" Emmett screamed grabbing Rose from her fighting stance and pulling her away.

"Never!" Rosalie screamed pulling away from him and slamming into the body of the bereaved vampire sending them both rolling head over foot. Fangs and nails tore at flesh as the two women battled for dominance.

"We gotta get the girls out of here," Sam said hurriedly as Alice danced around our thinning ranks. The other female was circling the Cullens slowly while Dimitri and the remaining male postured for the coming battle.

"All of us need to go." I looked over at Esme who was sobbing in her husband's arms, oblivious of the danger surrounding her. I dropped Jake's hand and ran to her while he gave the pack permission to scatter and regroup at our place in an hour. Sam phased as Jared ran toward Kim. The wolves ran with their imprints on their backs while Jake and Seth shifted into battle stance.

Growling and snarling, Jacob phased into the magnificent Alpha wolf that I loved. The energy rolling off of Pup reached out to me and I could feel his power in the air around me.

Dimitri began the attack with a scream, lurching toward Jacob in an attempt to climb onto his back. Instead Jacob was able to latch onto his torso with his large curved teeth and fling the vampire against a distant tree. The other's quickly followed his lead though.

Emmett joined Jacob just as Seth phased. Rosalie threw the vampire she was battling off of her and joined the melee and the four unlikely compatriots rushed at the coven Alice now called her own. Suddenly, a wave of pain washed over us, causing every Cullen to fall to their feet. Even Pup and Seth were forced to their knees with the debilitating pain that coursed through their minds. I alone stood tall amongst a sea of victims.

Alice looked up from where she was still standing with Jasper, unfazed by the violence that had been occurring around her. "My beautiful Bella, everything about you is a glorious surprise," her smile was kind and unsettling. Her eyes were glazed with love and obsession as she studied me intensely.

"What have you done to them?" I demanded stepping in front of Esme and Carlisle's vulnerable bodies.

"I've done nothing! I have no powers like that. Jane, though..." Alice smiled at the young blond whose face was distorted with thoughts of revenge and rage.

"You killed him! You and your mutt killed my brother!" her shriek was an assault in and of itself. I watched as her eyes honed in on me, releasing others from her grasp as her energy focused tightly. I heard Jacob moaning and turned toward him, causing Jane to charge me.

"Why doesn't it work! Why aren't you in pain?" her voice was shrill and high, screeching like nails on a chalkboard, but before she was close enough to touch me Alice spoke softly.

"Jane, you will not hurt her. Remember, she is why we are here."

Jane stopped mid run, standing only inches away from my unmoving body. Her attempt at intimidating me had failed as surely as her mind tricks had.

"Jane? Alec?" Carlisle was standing slowly. "Alice, have you joined the Volturi?" He was incredulous at the possibility.

"Carlisle, no...I am the Volturi." Alice's smile was slow and her eyes showed more sanity than we had seen yet today. Somehow this was more terrifying then the madness she had displayed earlier. "Will I be seeing you at the celebration tonight? I hear the catering will be spectacular." She spoke as if we were discussing an elegant get together, old friends sipping champagne, not the planned massacre of my friends and family.

"We'll be there," I said flatly before she smiled and began to walk away. Her entourage followed slowly, their red eyes trained on us as the Cullens and my wolves recovered from Jane's attack. Halfway to the tree line Alice stopped and looked back at Jasper who looked as if his world was being torn in two, splitting open beneath him with one foot on either side of the quickly growing expanse.

Jasper looked at Carlisle desperately, unable to leave but unable to stay behind.

"My love..." a soft voice whispered in the wind, pulling Jasper's attention to the ruby eyed beauty who held his heart. Jasper shook his head and looked at Carlisle one last time.

"I'm sorry," he said before running to catch up with Alice and the other vampires.

I turned to the sound of Jake's whimper and found him and Seth looking at me with bewildered eyes.

"I don't know guys," I replied

Turning to where the Cullens were helping each other back to their feet I asked, "Carlisle, can you fill us in on who those things with Alice were?"

"They are the Volturi. Vampire royalty who rule with cruelty and without compassion. If Alice is involved with them, and she has been taking human blood..." his voice faded away and his face crumpled. The mask of dignity that I had always seen the kind doctor wear faded away and beneath it was a bereft father, without a clue how to save his beloved child.

"We need to know what you know." Jake's voice came from behind me. Slipping an arm around my waist he stood behind me to hide his nudity as he joined me closer to the Cullens. Seth remained phased, keeping a connection between us and the others.

"If she is planning a party tonight we don't have much time," Rosalie spoke up. She did not acknowledge us but instead spoke directly to her father.

"No, we don't, and we don't have Jasper. If he decides to fully join her, we are at a distinct disadvantage."

"Why?" Jake was getting annoyed at not being included in the details of what was happening. "Who are these people? Why are they so dangerous? Why is Jasper a problem? Come on! How are we supposed to defend ourselves against them without all of the information? Damn it! Fucking vampires! Again!"

"Jacob, we aren't free to tell you what we know," Carlisle explained.

"Fuck that!"

"I'm sorry, but there are rules. These rules are what have kept us safe for so many years."

Jake snorted before responding; "People are being invited to a nest of vampires with red eyes for some feeding frenzy, some blond bitch knocks us out flat with her mind, and you're telling me you can't tell me what's going on!"

"Esme," I stepped forward, reaching out to the woman who had once been so kind to me. "Please. Alice said this was about me. We need to understand. We can't help you or the people in this town if we don't know what's going on."

Esme nodded and sighed before looking to her husband.

"We can't..." he began before a cutting look from her stopped him. He took an unnecessary breath in the human habit of calming his nerves before looking at me. "Alright, but we cannot speak freely here."

"Our place," I stated, earning a low growl from Jacob. "Edward is already there and the pack will be gathering soon. I assume you can follow the scent to find it."

Emmett nodded in response. "We will be there soon."

"Thank you," I said to Esme before turning to Jake and nodding. He phased and I leapt onto his back before the world blurred as we raced toward home.

* * *

**A/N - I hope you enjoyed this and are looking forward to what's coming. However, this story is going to be on hiatus until December. It WILL be back, I'm not leaving you in the lurch, I promise. I'm going to be participating in NaNoWriMo and need to focus all my energies there. It's a writing challenge for original work. The goal is 50,000 words in ONE month! If you'd like to read along as I work I'd LOVE to have your comments. I will be posting the story on my Blog (pavarti . blogspot . com) as well as on JBNP in the NaNoWriMo group. Thanks!**

**Pav**


	34. Chapter 34

We sped home in the Rabbit, the Cullens behind us. Seth sat in the back, his window open; his head half hanging out. The road flew by at an impossible speed and I knew that Jake was desperate to get home. We could be there already if we'd flown, but that wouldn't help keep what was potentially our biggest advantage under wraps.

Looking over I saw Jake's face was hard. His eyes were yellow and his gaze was distant as if he were looking out onto another road in another world. I prayed that the ancient wisdom he held inside of him would guide us through what was coming. We had only 6 hours until practically the entire human population of Forks between sixteen and twenty four would be congregating at the Cullen's house.

Whatever Alice had planned it wasn't going to be pretty.

I felt a shiver run down my spine as I thought of her red eyes and the menacing curl of her lips. Her focus had been so completely on me, the madness of obsession having ground all rational thought out of her mind. She still believed in her heart of hearts that I was destined to be one of them. My marriage, my _choice _meant nothing to her.

Edward had been completely destroyed by her presence. What had he seen? The terror and devastation in his eyes had broken my heart for him, and all I wanted was to keep him from ever feeling that pain again. Hopefully, whatever he had seen would be able to help us defeat her.

And who were the Volturi and why were the Cullen's so resistant to standing against them?

My thoughts were broken by the sound of a distant howl. Jake's head jerked to the side in response to his canine hearing. I could see he needed to leave before he spoke, his body glimmering in the light as magic condensed around him.

"Go," I said and smiled over at the man I loved with all my soul; he was needed. I would drive the rest of the way home.

Jake slammed on the breaks and the car skidded to a halt; anyone else would have lost control but Jake managed the slide and swerve of the vehicle easily. Seth leaped out of the open window and phased before hitting the ground as Jake kissed me quickly and opened his door. Sliding over to the driver's seat I pulled the door closed. Quickly I began down the road again, speeding toward home.

The Cullens had never been to our home so they were following me closely, and when I pulled onto the gravel path that led through the forest to the cabin I loved so much. Pulling around the final bend in the drive, I saw my beautiful wolf and the rest of the pack. They were circling something and I could practically feel the tension in the air. I slammed on the breaks and ran from the car, praying that whatever held their attention wasn't Edward or my father.

_Stay back_, Jacob spoke to me silently, our telepathic connection linking our minds.

_What is it?_ I demanded

_Go inside._ His command had the timbre of Alpha control but I did not budge. I was not part of his pack and I was not the submissive woman I once had been.

Stepping through the overgrown mutts I called my family, I saw two small wolves snarling at me. Small being a subjective term seeing as how Pup now looked normal to me. The wolves before me were as tall as I was; one brown, the other gray with streaks of black.

_T'ist'ilal, it's not safe._

"Hey, boys," I called softly, holding my hand up in front of me, showing that I was not a danger.

The brown one growled low and menacingly until Pup let out a sharp bark commanding that he stop. The gray wolf stepped toward me, his head bent low. When he was close enough, I reached out and placed my hand on his muzzle.

_T'ist'ilal... _Jake's annoyance with not being able to stop me as he would one of his pack was as clear as his concern for my safety.

"See? See it's okay, you're just scared aren't you? These big mutts didn't explain everything to you did they? You're just confused and scared. It's okay." I soothed and cooed to the wolf, never taking my hand off of him, keeping my eyes on the brown wolf who had been forced into a prone position by Jake's Alpha command.

The wolf whimpered softly looking up to me, seeking comfort from someone who understood. While this was not a pet or really even an animal, I stroked the wolf's fur as I would a frightened stray, knowing the contact alone was soothing. Who didn't need to be reassured and touched when afraid, especially when you've just been initiated into the world of the supernatural?

"Do you think you can phase back? Do you know how? I bet no one told you, did they?" He pushed his forehead against my arm and a whimper broke from the gray wolf's throat telling me how afraid he was.

"It's okay, you're alright, you're still you and now you have us so you don't have to be scared. You knew to come here, you knew to come to be with your family, even if you didn't know why. Your instincts told you this was where you would be safe, and it is."

Slowly the wolf calmed and, leaning against me, I could feel the beginning of his transition. The air glimmered in the sunlight, and if someone blinked they'd never know they were witnessing an act of real magic.

"You're going to phase," I stated calmly. "You're going to be you again and you're going to be naked. Don't worry, I have clothes in the house for you and I'm going to make sure the big red one there explains everything to you." I nodded over toward Jake who snorted and phased. The wolf looked up at the man now standing where the large wolf had been and backed away, a low growl forming in his throat.

"Bells..." Jake said softly, reaching out toward me.

I shot my husband a glare and mentally told him to stop approaching. He may not like it, but I no longer needed a protector. My role now was to help the wolves who protected everyone else. I turned back to the wolf and held his gaze with my eyes, communing with him and showing him that I was no more afraid of him and what was happening than I was of the tree behind him.

He sighed and looked over at Jake before meeting my gaze again. His large eyes looked up at me with a human expression of fear and concern.

"Don't worry, you can't hurt me, I'm going to stay right here and help you. You just relax and focus on your human form; you'll learn how to shift back and forth so easily you'll forget this was ever hard." I kept speaking to him, reassuring and soothing him as he slowly phased from wolf to human.

Now standing before me was a boy, barely fourteen. He was taller than me by almost a foot and far more muscled then his body was meant to be at this age but there was no mistaking the child's eyes looking out from a man's body.

"Jake," I said without looking away, the boy was terrified and looking around him without saying a word, fear and panic clinging to him like vines to a tree.

"Brady, come on, let's go inside." Jake held out his hand and the boy looked up at me; seeking reassurance.

"It's okay. I'm going to help your friend and then I'll be in. Jake is my husband and your Alpha, you'll understand soon. He's going to take you inside and find you clothes. You're safe. I promise." Brady nodded and went toward Jake who clapped his hand on the terrified boy's shoulder.

_Be careful, Colin won't be so easy to calm._

_Yes, Q'woli. Make sure the Cullens get inside without him seeing them. I don't know if I can keep him from attacking._

_You, my beautiful bird, are amazing._

And with that our internal connection was broken and I could hear Jake speaking to Brady calmly. I turned my attention to the brown wolf that was now standing, his eyes focused on mine. He had felt the power of his Alpha, but now that Jake was gone, he believed that there was nothing that could stop him. His fear and confusion coalesced to create the most dangerous combination of adolescence and supernatural.

"Boys, go inside," I said without taking my eyes off of Colin.

Sam barked and sat down, refusing to obey my command. The rest of them followed suit.

"Sam don't fucking challenge me!" I hissed. "Get your asses back in the house and help the girls and the Cullens. Embry, get your ass back to Angela, she's got to be terrified." I reached out with my mind and poked at the mystical connection that allowed me to reach them, and although they could not read my thoughts nor I theirs, they could feel my command.

Sam snorted and growled at Colin before phasing back to his human form. "This is a bad idea," he stated flatly before turning and walking back toward the house. The rest of the pack followed unhappily except for Seth, who sat stubbornly behind me.

I sat on the ground before Colin and looked up at his massive form, holding his gaze with my own. The silent stand off lasted longer than I expected but soon he began pacing back and forth, a predator evaluating the weaknesses of his prey. I did not move and I did not say anything. Waiting, I allowed him the time he needed to either calm himself or boil over. Either way I would control the outcome.

Suddenly a growl erupted from him and he began stalking toward me. Seth stood and came to my side, his sandy form towering over me. Colin looked from me to my protector and backed away, unsure if he could defeat Seth.

"Seth, go lay down."

Whimper

"Do it! It's the only way for him to learn." My eyes flashed golden and I sensed Seth lowering his head in submission.

"Colin, what is it you are trying to do here?" I stood smoothly, my legs unfolding under me and bringing me to my feet in one fluid motion. I would not have managed such a maneuver just six months ago, and now it was as easy as breathing.

The brown wolf growled in response and poised himself to attack.

Flying through the air, Colin hurdled himself toward me, anger and confusion bursting from him as forcefully as air. He descended but instead of moving away I reached up and slapped the side of his head forcefully before he reached me, stopping his attack mid-air and throwing him down to the ground. He leapt up and came toward me again but I simply stepped to the side and kicked him in the flank, throwing him across my yard.

A growl erupted from his body as he sprung up and flew at me again. This time I jumped into the air, feeling the strength of the atmosphere beneath me despite not being in bird form and using it to drift quickly out of the way and back to the ground.

"I want you to calm down. I want you to phase and come talk to your brothers. We are not the enemy." I spoke clearly, my eyes blazing with power.

He shook his body and growled again, confusion on his furry features.

"I am your Alpha's mate. I am here to help you. I am not the enemy. But we have very real enemies who we need your help to defeat." Behind me I heard the front door open and felt the change in the air, like I had been made whole, as Jake came bounding out to where I was standing.

"Bella!" he said when he saw me squaring off against the wolf.

"We're fine Jake, just sorting out the pecking order, right Colin?"

"Colin, stop it now!" Jake called out with his Alpha command. "Enough"

The brown wolf reluctantly hung his head in defeat. Slowly I watched as he calmed and his form retracted into that of a fifteen year old boy. Now human, he raised his eyes to me and I could see what I knew had been hiding there all along - terror.

"Colin, come inside," Jake said sternly, but still it was a request, not a command. The boy hesitated until I smiled at him and nodded. I watched as the strength drained from him and his own confusion took over. He held out his hands and looked at them, turning them over from front to back again and again. I could feel the confusion ricocheting around in his brain and wished there was more I could do.

Jake reached out his hand to the boy who stood stoically still, shaking his head. I could tell Jacob was tempted to impart an Alpha order on him, but it was best for him to decide for himself, that way he could accept what was happening to him.

"Colin," I soothed, "come inside and we will explain everything. You are part of something amazing, something to be proud of, let us show you." His eyes searched mine for deception, and when he was certain he had found none, he approached us slowly.

Seth, still in wolf form, escorted us to the door before phasing.

Inside, my living room was overflowing with bodies: the entire pack, their imprints, Angela, my father, Edward, his entire family and now two newly phased wolves. Twenty bodies, only 2 of which were human: Angela and my extremely confused father.

Jake, Colin and Seth went straight upstairs to find clothes and so that Jake could talk to the new wolves. The room was humming with barely contained hatred and violence, such a small space was not a good idea for a meeting of our rather large pack and the Cullen coven.

"Bella!" Angela ran over to me and threw her arms around my neck. "Thank God you're alright." she sighed and rested her head on my shoulder as I embraced her, hoping to show her that all of this, while bizarre and impossible, was really a good thing.

"Ange! I'm so glad you're safe." I pulled back and looked in her eyes expecting to see fear or accusation, but instead all I found was friendship from the beautiful girl who would soon be an amazing woman.

"Only you would have friends like this," she laughed before kissing me on the cheek.

Whispering now she said, "Be careful, I don't think these guys like the Cullens". Her tone was conspiratorial but only because she did not yet know that they could hear everything she said; they could hear the beating of her heart and her hair brushing against her shoulders as she walked. The wolves and the vampires were almost impossible to keep secrets from.

"It's okay," I whispered back. "Edward and I are friends; we'll keep things under control."

Angela squeezed me one more time before returning to an anxious Embry, who calmed instantly as she sank back in his arms. Imprinting was an amazing thing.

Turning my attention back to the room I could see that this situation was obviously untenable, and as hard as Sam was working to keep things calm, nothing could stop the ranting of one very bitchy, very blond vampire.

"What the FUCK is going on? How many fucking dogs do you have in this house? Jesus Edward, is this seriously how you've been spending the last year?"

Edward did not respond, he was curled in on himself, his legs pulled up underneath himself - now you have himself twice in this sentence in the maroon velvet high backed chair Jake and I had found on the side of the road. I wanted to reach out to him, get him to tell me what he had seen in Alice's mind so that I could help him unravel himself from its grasp.

"Rosalie, shut up," Sam spoke harshly, earning himself a hiss from Emmett.

The tension in the air was palpable. Jake had the young wolves quarantined up in the loft as the scent of the vampires in the confined space was difficult for them to tolerate. But we could all hear them up there, pacing and grumbling. Seth had remained with them, trying to keep them calm but it wasn't easy with the scent of their enemies filling their newly sensitive noses.

"We need to regroup." Sam spoke first, stepping up into the Alpha role in Jake's absence; he was the best Beta a pack could hope for. "Carlisle, who are the Volturi and what are they to you?"

"They are like our Royalty. The Volturi are an ancient and brutal group of rulers who enforce Vampire Law. They mostly leave us alone despite our lifestyle and relatively good behavior, but once they get involved, things will not end bloodlessly."

Everyone stood in silence for a moment, processing the extremity of the threat until Charlie spoke up, his confusion turning into anger.

"What the holy hell is going on? This boy is practically catatonic and the rest of you are far too spooked for this to be just the normal vampire/shapeshifter, mumbo jumbo.

In that moment I loved my father more then I ever thought I could. I smiled over at him and relaxed, knowing that between him and Sam, Jake and I, and even Carlisle and Edward there was nothing we couldn't face.

"We're sorry to have to say that it seems our daughter has…" Carlisle's voice trailed off as the sadness over his daughter's defection weighed on him heavily.

"Lost her fucking mind?" Paul chimed in.

"…succumbed to the darkness she'd been battling with her entire existence." Carlisle finished, the need to defend Alice stronger then his sorrow.

"Alice?" My father asked, having always liked the cheerful pixie I had once considered my friend. He looked over at me concerned and confused.

"Rivers of blood flow through her mind like lava over sand, burning and changing everything in its path." Edward's voice was soft but clear, eerily reminiscent of his sister's cadence.

"Edward?" I approached but was quickly cut off by Rosalie.

"We're his family, we'll take care of him," she sneered as Esme knelt before him and took his hand into her own. The moment was intimate and beautiful, the gesture so motherly it was hard to believe he had not been born of her body.

"Edward, what did you see?" She smoothed the marble skin of his hand gently, trying to pull him out of the exile of his mind.

"Who the fuck cares?" Paul stood up, angry and frustrated with inactivity. Leah reached out and took his hand, attempting to pull him back down next to her but his instinct to fight and protect were stronger then her sway over him.

"Paul…" Sam warned, his voice reminiscent of the Alpha timbre.

Angela was sitting on Embry's lap, looking around her like she was witness to the end of the world. In many ways this was the end of her world, at least the end as she knew it. She had been initiated into the inner circle of the secret society that existed along side the normal human day-to-day dramas; she could never go back, never return to being just a girl.

"Everyone shut up!" Jake yelled as he climbed down the ladder, his voice weary. "I don't want to fight and I don't want to hash this out any more. We have 6 hours until this fucking party…"

"Five," Rosalie corrected. "You've been busy playing with your new puppies while we should be coming up with a plan to rescue Alice."

"Rescue?" Paul lurched forward slightly, only Leah's hold on him keeping him from phasing and attacking. Selfishly, I hated the idea that he might destroy my home in the process.

"She's our sister," Emmett stepped next to his mate.

"She's fucking insane!" Jared said from where he was standing next to the fire place. Only a couch and a gaggle of bodies separated him from the vampires, but it was clear he was willing to go right through them before allowing them to defend Alice.

"She can't be saved…" Edward's voice broke the tension and his eyes found mine. The sadness and devastation in them so complete I wondered if it would be possible to save him either.

"No…" Esme sobbed into her son's lap. He placed a hand on her shoulder and held my gaze. The realization that he would never have the Alice he loved back seemed to have brought him out of his stupor. Resignation and pain were burned into his soul.

"She can't be saved and she can't be stopped." He paused and then looked over to Jake: "You're going to have to kill her." Esme's keening rose to a fevered pitch and Carlisle rushed to her side, pulling her up into his arms so that he could walk her outside. Jake nodded to Edward and began to strategize.

"…There has to be another way…"  
"…can we take them all?"  
"…we need a plan…"  
"…Fuck yeah!"

Edward stood up slowly and looked over at me while those around us spoke out their horror and excitement at what was to come. He and I both knew that this was something the pack wasn't going to be able to do alone and that the Cullens wouldn't be capable of doing what ultimately needed to be done. In the end, this was between me and Alice. As Edward made his way over to me his eyes shown with fear; but not for himself, for me. He still believed I was merely human. He knew nothing of my connection with the Thunderbird.

"…How many are there now? Alec is dead…"  
"…fuckin' rip them limb from limb…"  
"…you can't go, I can't lose you…"  
"…what about the humans?"

The conversations swirled around me as Edward and I said our silent goodbyes. When he reached me he pulled me into his hard embrace and sighed. I allowed the moment of intimacy because for some reason it seemed like he was saying goodbye. A tear broke free from my eyes as he pulled away and nodded his head. He turned and began to walk out of the room.

"Edward?" my father called to him. "Where are you going son?"

"Ed, you aren't fucking leaving us are you?" Emmett called.

Edward sighed and turned back to the group. "I'm going back to the house; I want to be there when Alice arrives."

"Are you sure you're okay to do that?" I asked, stepping toward him and placing a hand on his arm. I could feel my pack's tension rise as they witnessed me touching him, but I ignored them and focused completely on my friend. He wouldn't meet my eyes as he nodded.

"Edward, earlier today she almost destroyed you! What are you going to do?" My concern for his mental health had me frantic. I couldn't bear for him to lose himself into the vortex of Alice's madness…or worse… Edward would always be important to me and a dear friend. A tear fell from my eyes as I imagined a world without him.

Jake came up behind me and wrapped an arm around me as he spoke. "Edward, you don't have to go, we don't have a plan yet, help us, let's do this together."

"I understand her now. What I saw in her mind, it's more than anyone can bear, more than anyone should ever have to feel. She's gone. The Alice we loved died the moment she tasted human blood. I won't be able to stop her, her obsession...it's everything to her now, but…I can buy you some time. I'm sure of that." He smiled at us weakly and turned back toward the door.

"I'll drive you back", my father offered, taking a step toward the door.

"It'll be faster if I go myself, but thank you." Edward nodded at me once more before disappearing, his vampire speed taking him from us so quickly we didn't even register the door opening or closing but for the cold breeze that followed.

"Alright, let's come up with a plan," Jake said his arms still around me as he addressed the group, his eyes glowing gold, his voice full of a confidence my heart just didn't feel. Tonight there would be casualties and we won't be able to save everyone.

* * *

Edward ran through the woods, the sun filtering through the trees streaked down onto his face. The situation with Alice weighed heavily on his mind. For the first time he wished he did not have the ability to read minds, the darkness inside of hers had been too terrifying to look directly at; like the sun, its intensity burned him.

The forest was silent, the animals instinctually knowing that his presence was unnatural. What he was went against everything in nature and the animals knew it. How Alice could dream of forcing this life on anyone was beyond him. How Alice could go against everything their family had stood for broke his heart.

Human blood was a forbidden delicacy that Edward had spent nearly a century resisting. In the beginning the thirst had been too great to control and he yet even then he had done what he could to minimize the evil he inflicted. He fed on the starving and ill, he fed on the criminals. With this he told himself that he was an angel of death, ridding the humanity of its pain and suffering.

Carlisle had shown him another way. While the taste of an animal's blood could not even begin to compare to the rich flavor of a human's, Edward had found that living with this deprivation helped to soothe his soul. He was an evil thing resisting evil. The task was meant to be difficult.

For Alice to cross over that invisible line into the world of true vampirism broke the only rule that bonded them as a family. Esme was utterly destroyed and Carlisle blamed only himself. The family would never recover or be able to return to the harmony they had created together. Without Alice and Jasper, they were not whole.

Edward had not seen Jasper in the field, though he had glimpsed the pain Carlisle felt over Jasper's defection. To choose love over right couldn't have been easy, but Edward couldn't imagine him ever having done anything else. Love overpowered right and wrong, love superseded all sense of decency or ethics. Edward understood; he would have done the same if Bella had only reached out toward him and asked him to follow her.

At the edge of the forest he stood looking at the large white house that had become his home. He could sense the minds of the vampires within. Their excitement over the promised massacre made them blood thirsty and more like animals than even the wolves. It was difficult to resist the pull of their thoughts, to maintain his sense of self in the frenzy of desire and hunger.

Within all of those thoughts there was a black hole. There was one mind that sucked him in and clung to him, pulling him into itself.

"My brother," Alice whispered as her eyes glazed over. For a moment both Alice and Edward were lost in the vision she saw of them. Brother and sister, side by side with eyes blazing crimson. They stood amidst a killing field of vampires, humans and wolves. From amongst the bodies rose the one they both longed for more than anything else. A beautiful woman, drenched in blood, dressed in black rising to meet them. Like a phoenix climbing from the fire, Bella rose and joined them.

"My sister," Edward breathed before taking a step out of the treeline and into the sunlight.


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N ok, so this chapter litterally almost killed me. I spent most of the day a quivering mess under my desk while my children begged for a snack. All I could do was whimper and moan and wave my hand weakly. I have cried, I think I bit through my lip and I know I've given myself at least 1 ulcer and 2 panic attacks writing this. So, I hope it was all worth it. I know most of you will be cursing my name by the end of the chapter, but perhaps then you'll know why the dog is lying on the floor staring at me, eyes wide in shock, as I throw things at the screen while reading my OWN story!**

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The night was dark. Little light filtered down from the heavens, the moon a thin sliver, slicing through the sky in ominous severity. As soon as we were on the Cullen's land the scent of vampire overwhelmed Pup's senses causing him to come to a sudden halt. I could smell it, but his sensitive nose snorted and wrinkled up in disgust.

I hopped off his back and pulled his furry face into my arms. A silent moment just for us passed too quickly as I leaned against his large form. I was afraid for him, for all of us. I breathed in his musky scent before releasing him and straightening my clothes as the rest of the pack emerged from the woods. We would walk from here.

"Bells…" Jake said as soon as he was phased, "I don't like this plan." He pulled his shirt and jeans out of the bag of clothes I had carried while looking at me imploringly. "It's too risky and too much is dependant on the Cullens actually coming through for us."

"I know, but we have to go in, if we don't, there's no way to stop them from killing everyone. If Alice doesn't see me…"

"Bella is right," Sam interrupted pulling his shirt over his head. "The plan is sound, we move forward; I don't see another way unless you want to see some dead teenagers scattered across the lawn."

Jake nodded, knowing his Beta was right, and finished dressing quickly. His own fears for me couldn't outweigh the need to keep the town and his pack safe. In the distance we could hear the music of the celebration that was already underway. The pack split between those going to the party in human form and those staying in the woods around the house as sentries. The wolves scattered and we walked silently to the house.

I reached out and took Jake's hand, his large strong fingers wrapping around mine so easily. Together we were strong. I had to believe in the power of our love and the strength of our pack. Vampires were frightening enough, even with supernatural abilities, but an insane, obsessed vampire was downright terrifying. I shuddered as I remembered the glint in her eye behind the school and Jake squeezed my hand.

Sam, Jared and Seth went in before us and split up, infiltrating the crowd. They would blend in and do what they could to usher people out of the large house. Eventually they would flee on their own, but the fewer who were around when we made our move the better. I took a deep breath and pulled myself up to my full height, it may not be much but it was all I had. Throwing my shoulders back, I knew our plan was good and prayed it would work.

I walked into the Cullen's house slowly. The music was blaring and the lights were dimmed. It was impossible to make out who was who clearly, the ambiance was more that of a club than a living room. Outside the trees along the drive had been decorated with Christmas lights, giving the whole place an elegant and festive tone.

The number of people who had come tonight spoke to the town's fascination with the Cullen family and to the excitement of the graduating class. I hadn't anticipated there being so many people here. The living room was packed with bodies, dancing and laughing. Cars were parked down the lane and all over the driveway. There were even a number parked up in the grass. Alice had spread the word and excitement of tonight's celebration quickly.

Jake was close behind me, his hand on the small of my back, guiding me through the crowd. I had only been here once and couldn't remember the layout of the house, especially in the chaos around us. Everyone was arranged intimately, there was no clear focus to the group's attention. I could feel the presence of the vampires among the crowd but couldn't see them. They were spread out, mixed in with the humans undetected. With their speed and deadly intentions, I knew we were right to try and ensure a quick resolution to this. Jake's arm trembled against me and I knew he sensed them too.

The music changed and the dancing slowed creating space in the crowd that allowed us to see through the sea of bodies. Two figures stood on the stairs, dressed in black. They were still with the unmoving silence of vampires. Their faces calm masks as their eyes surveyed the mass of people below them. It was as if they'd been waiting for us. Side by side, brother and sister stood. The sickly sweet smell of vampire increased as we walked toward them.

The crowd was unnaturally oblivious of the menace around them. Usually, this many vampires in one room would at least inspire the human instinct to flee even if they did not know why. Unconsciously nature told us to avoid touching them, that is until their smell and beauty drew us in, hypnotising us into accepting our role as prey. Tonight the music and alcohol were flowing, creating the perfect oblivion for the soon to be massacred.

Two of Alice's vampires joined Jake and I with cruel smiles, their teeth glistening in the dim light, venom surely flowing freely as they anticipated the meal ahead. The small blonde who had rendered my pack immobile with pain walked silently by my side, she did not breathe and her feet barely seemed to touch the ground as she moved. The air around her cooled and I shivered at the presence of evil in our midst.

As we approached I felt the Thunderbird on my wrist trembling with anticipation; she knew her magic would be called upon soon and she was ready to defend her mate and pack. Neither she nor I could have guessed what would happen, but we would be strong for the pack, for the humans, for Jacob. His hand became warmer against my back as his wolf's spirit tried to push to the forefront of his mind.

Q'woli?

Edward can read my mind. Anything you say to me now you say to him as well.

He's here to help us.

Is he?

My eyes settled on the man who had died too long ago to ever really be my friend, his death hung all around him and I was still standing in the light of the living. His eyes were the deep black of a hungry vampire instead of the golden honey color they had been earlier today; something was inciting his passion. Edward stood unmoving, his body as still as stone. Dressed in black he was striking, his pale skin almost glowing in contrast. His beauty was otherworldly, and standing next to Alice you could believe that there were living angels looking down on the crowd from their perch in Heaven.

Noting my reaction he smiled widely and turned to his sister. Alice slipped her hand into her brother's and led him down the stairs, keeping her crimson eyes trained on me. The humans moved away from them instinctually, creating a path through the crowd, allowing the vampires to approach us quickly. Edward's head tilted back and he inhaled deeply before looking directly at me.

"My love…" he breathed. "I've been waiting for your silence all night."

When he opened his eyes and looked at me I flinched, taken back for a moment by the desire and menace in his eyes.

"Edward?" I whispered, needing a sign that he was still with us, even just a glimpse of the creature I had come to know would have calmed my fear. But he played his part too well.

"We are finally the family we were meant to be!" Alice squealed happily, holding out her hand to me. "Come sister, come away with us and we will live like the breeze, whipping through the trees without restraint." Her smile was wide with the euphoria of insanity.

Jacob's growl was loud but no one noticed, too lost in the music and swell of the night's celebration. In that moment, I envied the humans around us, ignorant of the deadly threat mingling amongst their revelry. Jake pulled me back against him and wrapped an arm around my waist, demonstrating his claim on me.

Edward's face was full of mystery, his eyes cold and unreadable. Was he on our side? If he was, our plan would work regardless of whether I went with him or if I stayed by Jacob's side. If he wasn't…I was the only one whose mind he could not read, he already knew our plan, turning against us would mean all our preparations had been a waste.

In a moment of panic I resolved that no one would die here tonight. No matter what I had to do. All Alice wanted was me, I was the only one who could shut this entire threat down, and I knew as clearly as if I was reading his mind that Jacob would never let me go. If Edward was no longer on our side there was there was little we could do to stop Alice. Her desperation and commitment to my joining her was evident in every thing she did, even the way she glided toward me as though in a dream.

For a moment I could see the blood that would spill if fighting broke out tonight. The innocent people around me were oblivious to the impending massacre and everything we had done to prepare for it was useless. Edward's insight into the pack's plans rendered us defenceless. The only way to save them, to save the pack, was to sacrifice myself in exchange. Inside of me the Thunderbird cursed at the direction my thoughts were turning, but a calm acceptance passed over us both as an image of Pup, bleeding and whimpering in pain flashed across my vision.

I stepped forward toward them but Jacob gripped me tightly, pulling me hard against his body. Alice nodded, so slightly human eyes would have missed it, but as soon as the gesture was complete a scream broke out from the crowd to the left of us. Suddenly fights broke out all around us, with no more motivation than the rage Jasper was forcing upon them. He stood in the center of the melee with a gleefull smile on his face. His control over the crowd's emotions was terrifying, but the pure enjoyment he took from the violence around us made the hair on the back of my neck stand up and my chest clench down around my heart.

The screaming rose to a fevered pitch and I saw as friends clawed at each other and classmates threw punches without restraint. They were attacking without reason as Jasper pulled their rage to the forefront of their minds forcing them to lash out.

I heard the crack of bones as Tyler lashed out against another boy in our class from behind Alice and watched the vampires take a simultaneous inhale of the blood that began to flow. Screaming, someone bumped into me making me momentarily lose my balance from the impact. Someone I recognised but didn't know was pushed down the stairs and the increasing frenzy around me rose to impossible heights. All around me fights were breaking out, long hidden rivalries and jealousies were bubbling to the surface and releasing violently.

"Stop!" I turned to Alice, pleading for her to give the signal for Jasper to stop the emotional assault. A girl ran past us, blood flowing down her face from a wound cut deep into her cheek. Fear radiated out from her like waves, infecting everyone whose path she crossed. I watched as a vampire appeared suddenly next to her, pulling her out of the crowd, while he clasped his mouth securely to her neck.

"Stop! Please!" I begged, pulling away from Jacob, his hold on me loosening as he we ?watched the devastation around us. It broke me to see him feel l so powerless but anything he did would only escalate the situation, not help calm things down. The vampires were in control and there was nothing we could do about it. Alice's red eyes bore into me and I stopped in my tracks. Fear and desperation coursed through me as I saw the deadly conviction in my former friend's eyes.

Alice nodded again and the crowd's anger dispelled, replaced with an artificial joy that masked the memory of what had just occurred. Friends were reconciled and couples who were still bleeding were suddenly lost in the rapture of a romantic embrace.

How easily manipulated these people were; it was amazing to witness the power these vampires possessed in their hands and minds, being masters of prediction, pain, emotional influence. It was wrong to use these on anyone without their consent. These abilities, these gifts, were nothing more than violations. The people here were at her mercy.

Looking at the determined smile on Alice's face, I knew our plan couldn't work; she would kill everyone before she'd allow me to leave here alive. My blood ran cold with the prospect of what I would need to do. Would Edward believe my defection? Could I possibly delay them long enough to save even some of the people here? Was I strong enough to face them alone? The Thunderbird wrapped her wings around my heart and swore to lend me all the strength I needed so long as her beloved Q'woli was safe.

"Sister?" Alice cooed softly, her child-like voice leaving goosebumps on my flesh.

"Alice...please..." I began.

"This is it, this is the moment, the moment we've seen a thousand times, the moment when blood unites and our family is complete."

"What about Esme? And Carlisle?" Could she be swayed by the names of the parents who had loved her for so many years?

"They are here, I see them, but they can't stop this, just as the night sky can't halt an avalanche."

Edward smiled slowly, his crooked grin, charming under other circumstances, was rendered cold and malignant under the glare of tonight's cruelty.

I turned to my husband, his beautiful face full of confidence in the plan we had constructed. Even when up against such insurmountable odds his confidence was unbreakable. That arrogance was going to get him killed tonight if I didn't do something to stop him. I couldn't bear it if anything happened to him, to any of the pack when I could so easily stop all of this. I began to speak and his eyes widened in shock, not comprehending what I was saying.

"Jacob, you should go, they're right, I belong here now." The words felt like acid in my mouth, the falsity of them painful to utter. It felt like a sin to turn my back, even momentarily, on the imprint, the mating I had chosen with Jake. But I would do it, I would swallow back the bile that rose at the thought of going with Alice and Edward, even for just a short time, if that was what I needed to do to save lives.

"No!" he grabbed me by the shoulders. "This is not the plan!" he hissed, making Alice smile. His fingers dug into my flesh as his eyes begged for understanding.

"The plan was doomed from the beginning" my voice was barely a whisper, but I forced the words out, "this is where I've always belonged. I see it now, I can't fight what's natural." I backed away from him slowly; willing myself to smile into the ruby red eyes of the demon standing before me. I gave Jacob nothing to hold onto, hoping that later he would be able to replay my words and see the hidden meaning.

"You can't just...give up..." he implored, looking at me, begging for understanding. He couldn't conceive of the decision I was making, he would never walk away from me, even if it meant a thousand people dying. Perhaps I wasn't as brave as he was, but I couldn't live with myself if that happened.

"Perhaps it was not your plan, Wolfman, but the future has been laid out before us like a path of roses, as clear as the loving sparkle in my brother's eye."

"Jake, don't you see the power they have?" in my mind I begged him to understand, to see what had to be done. I desperately wanted him to know what I was doing so he could be spared this pain, but if he did, Edward would as well. I stole a glance at Edward and saw nothing but the desire of a predator anticipating finally tasting its prey. He had betrayed us, there was nothing more I could do.

Stepping away from the man I loved I shut myself away behind a mask of indifference, afraid to give him the reassurance he so desperately needed. The look in his eyes stopped my heart but I knew this was the only way. I sent up a silent prayer to the Spirits that had guided me this far and took Alice's hand.

The cold of her undead hand sent a shiver through my body and the Thunderbird screamed in my head in protest; she wailed against the walls of my mind, demanding I release her into the care of her ancient love, despite her amazing power, in this she was weak. I pushed her to the back of my mind and locked her into a cage, the bars as unbreakable as my will. I allowed Alice to lead me by the hand to Edward; the desire in his eyes frighteningly raw.

Jacob lunged after me as he reached out with his mind. I kept him out, blocking our connection, despite the wailing of my Thunderbird's protests. I resisted his pleas, shutting him down completely.

"Bella!" he implored as Alice's vampire minions came to his sides and restrained his arms.

The sight of him, tears in his eyes, his will broken by actions he couldn't comprehend was almost more than I could bear. I wanted to reach out to him and tell him it would all work out, that I was strong enough, I could pull them away from here and give him the time he needed to reorganize and come after me. He pulled against them, railing against them, screaming out to me. With painful determination I ignored him and allowed Edward to embrace me.

His arms were cold and the unnecessary breath he took to inhale my scent told me everything I needed to know. I was not safe in his care. Alice's madness had infected him just as I'd feared and now we were faced with fighting two obsessed and powerful vampires.

Edward leaned down and brought his lips to mine and I allowed him to kiss me. My lips were forced to mold around his, the coldness of his marble mouth a shock to my senses. When our flesh met I could feel the pulse of Jacob's need to phase, as Alice's laughter rang out in the air.

I didn't look back, knowing I was being watched, her insanity willing to believe I would come with her so easily but wary of any sign of betrayal. Edward pulled away from me and gazed down at me with love and hope.

"It's just a matter of time," Edward soothed. "Soon you will love me, you will forget about all of this, it will be like a distant, foggy memory." He pulled me into his arms and crushed me against his unmoving chest.

I felt as Jake fought against the hands restraining him; the hardness of his imprisoners' hands dug into his arms but the pain in his heart was a thousand times worse. Time slowed down and his screams faded away as misery gripped me in his arms.

"When you're one of us, your human life will fade away and none of this will matter."

I trembled, the cold of his skin and the thought of becoming one of them more than the Thunderbird could bear. She fought and screamed at me from inside the cage where I had trapped her, and Jacob screamed at me from where the vampires dragged him away. I was set on my course though, to get them - the vampires - away from the humans, get them anywhere but here and then regroup. Perhaps I could kill them myself, perhaps the pack would follow, but one way or another I was not going to allow another human to die.

Sam and Jared pushed their way through the crowd, no longer concealing their inhuman strength in their attempt to get to their Alpha's side. No one was aware of them as it was, they were all too wrapped up in themselves. Jasper's effect on the party goers continued and their excitement swelled, creating an atmosphere of absolute chaos. I could hear the moans of a passionate embrace, the whispered declarations of love along side the sound of breaking fists as the fighting continued and the screams of the irrationally furious. Jasper was no longer directing their moods, only accentuating them: heightened passions came out in all extremes.

Sam broke through the crowd first and squared off with Alice while Jared lunged at Jacob's guards. The growling of my wolves as they came to the rescue sent my heart racing, knowing that now I must convince them that this was what I wanted.

"Dogs," Alice scoffed, ignoring the vampire feasting on a drunk human right behind them. Another life lost, or worse. My mind was in overload and I shivered against Edward who had wrapped his arms around me protectively. My skin crawled at the contact, and the open display of vampirism amongst the humans was not a good sign of the direction the night was going in.

"Sam, take Jacob home, I'm staying here." I commanded. I needed Jake to be safe, to be far away from here, no matter how strong he thought he was this was too much, this was too much for any of us. I felt my tears begin to rise and the Thunderbird rattled in her cage, demanding to be let loose to reap vengeance on the evil surrounding us.

"No," Sam spoke firmly, and in other circumstances I would take his conviction seriously, but tonight I was making the rules.

"Go! I'm done with the pack, with Jacob! I see where I belong now, it's here, with them." I spoke with a conviction and strength I did not feel but reached out and took Alice's hand in mine while Edward kept one arm loosely around my waist, making my point. Sam flinched.

Jared was thrown to the ground while trying to free Jacob, skidding across the floor and into a crowd of humans. He knocked them over, causing a domino effect , creating even more confusion in the cloud of chaos. Sam turned his attention away from me and I saw Alice nod to Jane out of the corner of my eye.

"No!" I pulled away but Edward's arms held me like a vice. "Stop! They'll leave, Alice, they'll leave! I'm here with you! No, you don't have to!" I struggled against the ice cold grip that trapped me, but the Thunderbird was locked away, unwilling to help unless she could devour, consume, destroy her enemies. There were still too many humans around to allow her free reign; I had to remain in control, but the site of my wolves collapsing in pain was devastating.

All three fell to the ground, flailing in the attempt to escape the pain that seared them from inside. Their faces contorted in unimaginable pain as Jane smiled sweetly down at them, as if she was watching kittens play. Behind me I could smell smoke and knew that the Cullens had come through on their part of the plan. In another reality this would have been the moment we leapt to action, ushering humans out and trapping Alice, separating her form her minions, Edward's abilities making it possible for us to have the upper hand.

"Fire…" he breathed. "Alice!" He grabbed his sister, pulling her away from the entertainment wriggling in pain on the floor before her. "They're setting the house on fire! The humans were supposed to be leaving, but those idiots…wait…there's another…" Edward's eyes scanned the room.

The flames spread quickly through the room, up the curtains and igniting the decorations. Instead of driving the party goers from the house, Jasper had them so enthralled they danced through the smoke that was spreading rapidly through the room. Outside they had no idea how badly things were turning out.

I struggled against Edward's hold on me, screaming for Jane to stop her assault, but his arm was clamped around me so hard it was difficult to draw breath.

"No!" I screamed unable to pull myself from his grasp.

Please, I begged my Spirit Sister from inside my mind, Please, I can stop this, I can... but she was silent, her broken heart tattered and bleeding on the floor of the cage where she was shut away. I was alone.

Sam and Jared were dragged across the floor by two large vampires. Their screams were drowned out by the rhythmic music and the revelry of the doomed. Someone tripped and fell, landing on the floor with a crack. Bones were broken, but the girl just stood up and danced away, the twisting of her mind over-ruling the limitations of her body.

From the back of the crowd Seth ran toward us. Hate and pain etched in his young face.

"No!" I screamed as he jumped over Jake's body, phasing mid-air and pounced on Jasper. The two enemies slammed into the ground, and with Jasper's attention on Seth, the spell he had cast over the humans was broken. Suddenly aware of the flames surrounding them a mass exodus began, creating more chaos and confusion than before.

Fear was working against their attempts at escape as people pushed and shoved toward the exits, getting nowhere. The panic was thick as people were pushed down and trampled in the crowd's desperation for survival. Their emotions had been toyed with and they were piqued: survival instinct had quickly turned into willingness to kill thy neighbor so that they might live.

"Edward" I pleaded, barely able to see through the throng of people, but I could hear Seth's growls and the sound of nails on metal.

"Seth!" I screamed and tried to twist out of Edward's arms. If I allowed the Thunderbird to phase I could escape his hold but there wasn't room for me to transform without killing every human near us, and once free, I wasn't sure if I could regain control over myself. Alice ran to her lover's aid as Edward dragged me backwards and toward the stairs.

"No!" I screamed again and again; when I sensed Edward's hold on me slipping just a little, I used every ounce of strength I had and wrenched away from him to run through the crowd. The screams of my pack and the humans filled my ears as the smoke blurred my vision, but through it all I could hear the battle cry of the sandy wolf I loved like a brother.

When I reached Seth he had Jasper's head in his strong jaws and was staring down Alice. She could out maneuver him and outwit his every move, but what she couldn't do was get him to drop her lover. Every move she made caused Seth's hold on Jasper to tighten. The once proud Southern gentleman now hung limply from the wolf's mouth. Seth's fur was matted with blood and I knew he was suffering but he would fight no matter how hurt he was, we all would.

"Alice..." I soothed, trying to bring her attention back to me. "Come sister..."

"Jazz..." she cried looking from him to me and back again. "I need him, Bella," she said, pain and a distorted kind of love glowing in her eyes. For a moment I could see the strange but kind girl who had once been my friend. Was it possible that she could...

As sympathy and nostalgia were pulling me, Seth's jaw took advantage of the moment and crushed Jasper's skull to pieces. He wrenched the head from Jasper's body and threw it with a turn of his massive head into the flames behind him. Seth raised his head to howl in victory as Alice lunged.

Before I could register what was happening, Alice had sliced through Seth's neck with her razor sharp nails and began ripping him apart from the inside out. His wail was inhuman and caused my blood to run cold; the remaining humans turned in horror to see Jasper's headless body convulsing on the ground next to Alice's single handed evisceration of Seth.

Smoke filled my vision and I fell to the ground. Sobs broke from me with a force I didn't expect and I lost all feeling. I heard as the windows shattered sending shards of glass into the air, and my pack entered the home with vengeance on their minds. I sat in stunned silence, tears streaming down my face, all conviction in my plan gone. Seth...Seth was...

Alice was gone, as was Jasper's body, but neither human nor vampire was safe from the rampaging wolves charging the home. The ground fell away from beneath me and I was unable to regroup my mind. Edward's arms were strong and cold as he carried me away from the battle, holding me like a precious treasure he was desperate to rescue from the mounting flames.

Upstairs Edward set me on my feet and stared deep into my soul.

"Edward...why?" I began, tears streaming down my face, the melée below needing my strength but my soul was absent, as if it had left along with Seth's. There was no good that could come from this, there was no resolution to this pain. We had come here hoping to find a way, any way to save lives. I had been willing to give my own to save the pack but now...death was all that had come of it.

"Bella, I saw it, Alice...she sees the truth..."

"She sees what she wants to!" I screamed and pushed him away from him, making him stumble backwards with a look of surprise. Suddenly he was against me, pulling me up into his arms as he slammed his lips down on mine. His dead mouth worked against mine, desperate for me to respond.

The Thunderbird reached out, unwilling to allow another's lips upon mine and pushed him away, throwing him into the wall of the small hallway we were in. An Edward-shaped hole was smashed into the plaster and at another time it would have been funny, the kind of thing Seth would have joked about, the chalk outline of a dead man...

I ran downstairs reaching deep inside and unleashing the Thunderbird within me. She stretched her wings and one of us released a battle cry into the night. I remained in my human form as we searched for Alice, for Jacob. I wanted to fight, to reap my revenge for the pack and for Leah. Edward was behind me yelling for me to come back, but the crackling of the inferno rising around us and the stench of the sickly sweet vapors of burning vampire overwhelmed the senses. When he reached for me I didn't hesitate and lashed out with my now extended talons, slicing through the muscle and bone of his arm.

Most of the humans had fled, the windows were broken and the night breeze fanned the flames to impossible heights. In the distance I could hear the approaching sirens but I didn't care, none of it mattered now. The wolves were gone, tracking vampires through the woods, making sure to kill every one they could get their paws on. The only one left was Jane.

Jane was hovering over Jake's body. Jared and Sam were nowhere to be found but she remained, gleefully torturing her prized pet Edward called after me, pain and desire rendering him immobile as I ran toward my true love. I stumbled over the dismembered bodies of vampires waiting for the fire to consume them until I reached Jake and pushed the evil child away from him.

"Make it stop," I growled, demanding her compliance. The air was thick with death and soot but my hatred for her burned hotter than ever. All around me there were the bodies of unconscious or drained humans and the scent of wolf blood was pungent in the air. Death was all around, but the devil herself was missing.

"Why? He's such a lovely toy!" she sneered, her once beautiful face distorted with evil.

"Make. It. STOP!" I stepped toward her, prepared to phase and remove her limbs one by one. I allowed the Thunderbird to rise up within me, her power and strength overtaking me as our need for vengeance came together, making us deadlier than either could have been alone.

As my form began to shimmer and shift something sharp pierced the skin of my shoulder. The pain spreading from the spot was so intense it blinded me and the Thunderbird pulled back in agony. As I fell to the the ground, the last thing I saw were Alice's sparkling eyes.


	36. Chapter 36

This chapter is brought to you by the AMAZING efforts of YNotJacob and Shawnie. I would have never finished it without them. Please listen to the following song to set the tone while you read.

kristinhersh (dot) cashmusic (dot) org/series2/ - Song is called Flooding by Krisin Hersh

* * *

It moves slowly, crawling each painful millimeter toward oblivion. The thing inside of me wriggles within my flesh like maggots in an open wound, eating the flesh it needed to survive, invading through every possible opening. I can feel it, alive and greedy, anxious for my death. I lift my hand off the ground but it doesn't move, I cry out for release but I make no sound. The squirming death holds me captive, my body and my blood at its mercy, there is no escape from the progression of what has infiltrated into my system. It moves at the speed of light but I can feel every time its tongue licks out to taste the next victim within me.

The searing halts its movement, lingering, making sure to devour everything it contacts before moving on. I am paralyzed as I am eaten alive from the inside, the hungry virus revelling in the feast I have provided. My flesh burns as if it is being pealed away, leaving behind raw meat and muscle. My nerve endings scream as glass shards dig into my flesh but I cannot move. I writhe within my prison, screaming for release, panic rising in my throat as I feel the parasite within me taking over. My shoulder blackens from the touch of death, gangrene and inhumane, I am beyond salvation.

Within my head the screeching of the Thunderbird is deafening, it rattles within my skull, seeking escape from the encroaching invasion. The noise competes with the venom to overwhelm my senses, but there is no relief for me, I would give anything for the release of death or the oblivion of unconsciousness. But sinners receive no respite from the tortures of hell. I am the vessel of so much pain my heart bursts and spills, filling the spaces left empty by the venom with my love gone dry. The sacrifices I made were just a lie, like the life I was living and the hope I had.

_Nothing...there is nothing for me but pain..._

Every wound has a story: my scars, my beautiful tattoos, the cracks in my soul. The story of my life is written in blood and that blood will be the story of my death as well: the infected sludge that defines me is slowing. I lay here being consumed by the poison of my enemy as the Thunderbird weeps of betrayal. Misery would destroy me if I wasn't already dying in pieces as the venom crawls another step forward.

My defenses fall away. The world I was trying so hard to save only moments ago a distant memory; the all-encompassing pain of my death all that's real. This is the precipice of madness, here there is no love, no family, no forgiveness, only the slow flaying of my heart. I know that this agony is of no consequence in comparison to the destruction I brought down around us but still, I pray for someone to take mercy on me. The beginning and the end of time meet in me and nothing exists beyond the burning that inflames my veins, collapsing them into the dust of Alice's obsession.

The Thunderbird's screams reach a new pitch and I feel her terror as she retreats, curling herself up into the tattoo on my wrist that began it all. That venom snakes down my arm, reaching its tendrils out toward her. The evil within me aches for her, desperate to consume and destroy all that is good and right, her power and beauty the ultimate conquest. The war of good and evil wages within me and my heart breaks at all that I have lost holds me captive. My heart is stilling, each beat like a thunder crack within my chest, the storm moving further and further away. My humanity is slipping, everything is slipping.

The poison travels along my bloodstream at an agonizing pace, or perhaps it was at the speed of light and this place of desperation exists outside of time. The Thunderbird pulls away from me, abandoning me to my pain as she fights for her own survival. I can hear nothing but the lengthening silence between heartbeats, no whispered reassurances, no flutterings of hope. She is gone and I am glad that maybe, just maybe one of us will survive this.

Consciousness begins to elude me and the agony in my veins snakes around my heart, squeezing it until it stops completely. I am turned inside out, the hardness of my petrified heart unaware of the movement of the world, the turning of the earth has stilled on its axis, all that is left is the slow spreading of the venom. Galaxies fly by without direction as my inner chasm collapses in on itself, leaving me to suffocate in the darkness. My grasp on reality erodes and I feel my body lift away from me. I cry into the blackness for the Thunderbird, for Jacob, for myself.

_Q'woli_

Finally my soul submits to the spread of evil within me.

* * *

I awoke with a shock. Breath exploded from my lungs like a long held secret desperate to be released and I was stuck by the astounding absence of pain. I was still, terrified to move, analyzing myself slowly. I was aware of my fingers and toes and could feel where something was touching the bare skin on my arms.

I attempted to open my eyes but found the ability escaped me, my consciousness returned before my body and I was trapped within myself. Blackness surrounded me and there was a weight trapping me in place, pushing down upon my chest. Where was I? I began to panic, worried I'd been buried here, stuck forever unable to call out for help.

I reached out with my senses. It was silent. There was no movement or sound where I was but there was a lingering heat against my skin. Was that my humanity or a residual temperature? Further away I could hear the rustle of leaves and the hush of the wind passing through the trees. Further away I could sense the ocean and the warmth of the sun but my concentration was broken as my body cooled and a shiver ran through my skin. Loudest of all was the silence of my still heart. Desperation crashed down on me, I was dead, truly and completely dead. Alice had won.

The silence was shocking; within my mind was a deafening stillness. I could pinpoint the absence of my pulse as the flood of my solitude passed over me. I searched my mind for the Thunderbird's soft voice but she wasn't there. She didn't answer when I soundlessly called her name, keening for her, the loss more than I could bear. I was no longer human, no longer Jake's mate, I no longer had the Thunderbird's kindness wrapped around me, keeping me safe and warm.

Despair pulled me under, worse than the pain I had felt from the venom. I was alone, the ancient soul that had lived in the back of my mind was gone. What was I without the Thunderbird? What was I now? My sanity was clinging to a thread, the mistakes I'd made, the losses I'd suffered I longed to scream, to wail, to claw out of the grave I was lying in. But I was stuck, paralyzed by my own terror, the only company I had.

Slowly I forced myself to calm down, taking deep unnecessary breaths in the hopes that all of this was a dream, that I would wake any moment and find myself in my bed with Jake's arms heavily draped over me. I pulled my eyes open, straining to pull the lids up, freeing me from their veil of death.; the darkness around me was as engulfing as it had been with my eyes shut. My body slowly returned to me and I was able to move ever so slowly. The feeling was unlike anything else, I was struggling to get my limbs to cooperate, to do as I commanded them, but they were tied down, leaden. And yet, there was a complete absence of pain.

I'd stop feeling pain as a common part of life when the Thunderbird joined me - _Did she survive? What happens to a spirit when its host dies? _Shaking my head, I demanded my body comply.

I was tired and weak as I sluggishly pushed away the weight pinning me down. It was slick and difficult to move. My fingers gripped the rubbery object, losing their grip against the slippery sides until I dug my nails into the soft exterior. I tried not to breathe, to think too much about what was lying on top of me. With a final thrust I shoved and was free of the weight keeping me in place. My strength was quickly returning and I sat up slowly, steadying myself with my hands on the objects around me I didn't dare to look at.

As my sight adjusted I could see the specks of ash swirling in the night sky, the fire had been left to burn itself out, its flames too all consuming to put out. Those flames had licked at my heels and swallowed me whole, pulling me down into its raging belly. I came through the other side, unscathed by its attacks, but everyone around me was dead. Hunks of fur were scattered about, proving that the wolves were injured...or... I looked around and could see the purple haze still hanging in the air from the burning of vampire flesh.

Body parts were strewn about near an ash pile across the room still smoldering from the blaze, a pyre like the pack used to execute vamps. A spark of hope flared within my chest, someone had burned those bodies. Had it been the pack, my beautiful wolves, or perhaps the Cullens? Either way someone had made it out alive. Someone was still out there...Jacob...

The memory of Jake writhing on the floor flashed through my mind. The pain on his face had been too great, too consuming. How could he have survived it? So much pain had been inflicted on him. Would Jane have ever let him go? Or Jared and Sam...? Had any of my wolves survived or were they all...? Seth... God, my fucking foolish pride. I was so sure I could do it alone and now they were dead and the Thunderbird was gone.

Now here I was, sitting in this ashen killing field, without a burn on me. And yet I felt like I'd been buried alive. Was I a husk of who had I once been? Was I empty inside, a shell? Where was my Thunderbird?

I blinked back tears at the thought of being without her, they swelled within me and I was unable to stop as the sorrow spilled out, it was like losing a part of myself. How had I ever lived within this body alone?

I felt another weight on my legs and looked down, the unblinking eyes of Jessica Stanley gazed vacantly back at me. Her face was slack and in the warm night air I could see the deathly shine of her skin. I reached out to touch her face, she was still warm, her soul still so close. If she'd been bitten it was only a matter of time before she changed. My breath choked me, stilling my heart, clenching my soul. How many people had died because of me? Humans, vamps, wolves...how many lives lay wasted in the destruction around me?

_My fault, this was all my fault..._

My tears fell as I remembered the bright days when Jessica and Lauren had been the worst things in my world. Would I trade all that I had gained to go back to that simple existence? I would, if only it would bring her back...and Seth... He'd died a hero's valiant death, I'd only died, and I couldn't even do that right.

My strength flowed back into me and I could again control my body's movements. I sat upright, wiping my tears away, and stared at the dead girl I'd once considered a friend, lifeless and cold. Looking around I could see other faces I recognized and so many I didn't. My eyes filled again as I thought of the pointlessness of it all.

As I sat, losing my sanity into the downward spiral of death, I felt a chill fold over me. The air around me cooled noticeably making me shiver with eerie familiarity. I felt a soft touch fall upon my shoulder.

"Shhhh...you aren't alone anymore..." an angelic voice sang to me. I closed my eyes, wishing that I had died instead of waking to this fate. I was dead, I was lost, I was one of them now. Why couldn't I have been sacrificed in the place of all those who had died. That was all I had wanted! I did what I thought would reduce the number of deaths, not increase them. I had been willing to go with them, to give myself up and put off the fight until another day! But instead there was death and destruction all around me and I had accomplished nothing. I closed my eyes as terror gripped me.

I sat frozen and her hand glided slowly down my arm to my hand. The chill of her touch froze me to my core.

"You're still so warm sister," she marvelled, her hands never leaving my skin as she helped me to my feet. Jessica's body fell off of me like a forgotten toy.

"I...I still feel warm," I croaked, noting that finally the venom didn't burn and the pain had vanished; it must have worked its way through me. I felt nothing, no pain, no joy - I was empty.

"We didn't expect you to wake for another day at least, you always were a surprise." Her voice was light, soft, but I could feel it in my cells, vibrating through me. Anger rose within me and I kept my eyes down, my pain and hatred so complete I could feel them pounding in my mind.

"You will need to hunt as soon as you can so that the hunger doesn't overcome you."

"What?" I asked, lost in my own thoughts.

"You will need to hunt. We'll find you a camper or two in the woods, or maybe there are some children here left alive." She kicked at the body of a boy who had been in my gym class as if she were checking to see if a tire were flat.

"No...I..." Pulling away from her, my face must have shown my revulsion. Deep within me my blood began to boil. My senses sharpened and I shook off the foggy haze clouding my mind. Everything inside me snapped into place, and I could feel the lustre of the moonlight and hear the sigh of the wind; I was connected to it all, I was connected to life. I marveled at the warmth radiating through me and deep inside I felt a soft rustling within me, a faint flutter.

Alice stepped back from me slowly.

"No..." her voice was a hiss, a curse thrown out with more venom than her bite. I looked down at my hands and turned them over, seeing the pinkish hue of life. I felt the heat continuing to rise within me and slowly I could hear my pulse sluggishly begin again, a slow quiet throb that picked up strength as the fluttering sound of wings filled my ears. My life began again as I stood in the darkness surrounded by death.

"Alice?" Edward appeared at the periphery of the ruins which were once his home. "What's wrong? I ran back as soon as I heard you. She's awake..."

He stepped closer. I couldn't see his expression in the dark night but I could feel him, and he was afraid. My heightened senses were aware of their coldness in juxtaposition with the summer heat. My heart beat faster now, its pace increasing with each breath. I closed my eyes and embraced the fluid return of my life, savoring the heat of my soul and the welcome return of the ancient spirit re-join me.

_You saved me_, I said to her in a silent prayer

"Edward, something's wrong," Alice's voice was a whisper.

"Bella? Alice? What..."

I could feel his eyes on me, boring into my back. His gaze struck me with pinpoints of ice that melted against my blazing hatred. They had done this! Alice's obsession, Edward's betrayal.

The heat in my heart built higher and the air quivered around me, my heart raced at an impossible speed. I felt I would combust from rage and heartbreak. Molecules burst apart as the temperature flowed out of me. I could feel the tendrils of my hate reaching out, licking at their feet.

"Bella!" Edward called, but as I turned another voice flowed through my mind.

_T'ist'ilal?_

His call to me was full of anguish, disbelief seeping from every syllable. I had been dead, so completely lost that he believed me to be gone forever. I could feel his mourning, his desperation, as his heart leaped at the possibility that I was really here.

_My love... _the Thunderbird's voice flowed through me, travelling softly and reaching out to him. Death's own kiss had been unable to keep us apart.

A howl rose in the distance; the sound full of relief and longing. Soon other voices joined his and I could pick out the pack members, Seth's howl leaving an empty space where his harmony should have been. My anger mounted and I felt the Thunderbird fully blaze to life in response. My blood was racing through my veins so fast my heartbeat was a low hum.

I turned, my eyes blazing white as my clothes hung from me, black with the stain of blood.

"No!" Alice screamed, her hysteria mounting as she looked at me. "No! No! NO! You aren't! You are supposed to be one of us..! I have given you _everything_! I saw this! I saw this happen! Why didn't you turn?"

My smile was cruel as I focused on her, oblivious of the panic in Edward's eyes. I stood in silence, savoring the hate I felt for my beloved's enemies, for the ones I held to blame for everything that had gone wrong. I felt the power of the ancient spirits with me, filling me with their strength. I couldn't save anyone, but I could be the vehicle for their vengeance.

"You have given me nothing but death!" I sneered, taking a step toward her, causing Edward to retreat a pace.

"There's no way you could...you are mine! How are you alive?"

"You were wrong..." Edward's voice was broken and tired.

"No!" Alice's scream was defiant.

My eyes flashed yellow as a magnificent red wolf burst through the crumbling walls of the home. I turned and stepped toward him, the vampires behind me momentarily forgotten as I was overcome with his beauty. I reached out to him as he ran to me, digging my fingers into his fur, pulling the smell of last night's massacre into me.

"Jake..." I sobbed into him, as his massive head rested gently on my shoulder. He was shaking softly and leaning against me. Ignoring the evil that surrounded us, we stole a silent moment, the flame of love that flowed between us soothed my broken heart.

"Get away from her you dog!" Alice screeched, pulling our attention back to her furious red eyes.

I turned to her, keeping a hand on my wolf's side as a low rumble began deep in his chest. Together we stood against brother and sister. Together we stood side by side as we were always meant to be, our strength magnified by the other. He had known it. The Thunderbird had known it. Why was I always the last to know?

"You are _mine_!" Alice screamed running toward us, ignoring the towering wolf beside me, her insane mind completely focused on me.

"Alice! No!" Edward reached out to his sister with his one remaining arm, the stump of one I had severed hanging uselessly at his side. She darted away from him, her speed and prognostication allowing her to weave out of his grasp. "No...God..." he called as he stepped further away from us. I had never believed that vampirism alone had condemned his soul, but his gleaming red eyes damned him in every way. My friend died the moment he allowed human blood to pass his lips; now he was only a devil in the shape of Edward.

Jacob's growl grew beside me, pulling my own battle cry out from deep within the Thunderbird. I crouched as she rushed toward us, burning for revenge. Jacob's snarl rose to a frenzied pitch and the rest of the pack joined us, rushing in along the periphery. They had believed me lost, but they had never abandoned me.

In Jake's mind I saw how they had fought, how he had escaped from Jane's painful grasp when she argued with Alice over biting me. He had phased instantly and ripped Jane to pieces while the others chased the invading vampires through the forest. Brady had been attacked and killed, visciously bitten and ripped apart. Sam had been nearly sliced in two by one of the larger vampires, and although he was near enough to touch, the extent of his injuries made me wonder how he could ever recover? Quil would forever walk with a limp and perhaps, after tonight, may never be able to phase again. His hip had been crushed and without someone there to set it before he healed, the bones knit together incorrectly. I wanted to weep for what I saw. My pack!

Alice disappeared from view, but I was aware of her presence; my very essence was focused on her deathly scent. I shrieked into the night air, keening for the destruction that lay around me. This was my fault, I knew that, I held the blame squarely in my hands. I could roll it over, taste it and wrap it around me, but none of this, none of this would have happened were it not for Edward and Alice.

The pack instinctively backed away from my battle cry, their hackles raised in response. My banshee's scream spoke to them on some primitive level and they knew I was more dangerous now then I had ever been before.

"Please..." Edward pleaded from the edge of the forest, looking at me. I barely heard him, I couldn't hear anything but the thrumming of my heart and the pain in my chest.

"She's all I have..." he was cut off by Jacob's eyes, white and full of hatred. Q'woli stepped in front of me, his growl becoming a roar. Quickly he lunged at Edward and snapped at him, driving the devil back. Jacob gave chase, disappearing into the forest with Jared and Embry close behind. I knew my beloved; there would be nothing left of Edward Cullen by sunrise.

Behind me I felt the cold fingers of Alice's hatred reach out for me. I side-stepped her attack, turning so that I was standing directly in front of her. Her eyes were filled with hatred and surprise. If there was one thing that pissed Alice off more than anything, it was not getting what she wanted. Her ability to see the future had always given her an advantage which made her lazy. Now for the first time she was the one with the disadvantage, surprising her.

"How did you know?" She danced around me, in and out of reach. She thought she was toying with me - how little she knew.

"Why is it I can't see a path for you? You're supposed to be dead! How did you not change?" She spat her questions in rapid succession, one after the next.

"I'm nothing you've ever encountered before. I'm nothing you can control."

"I don't _want _to control you! I want to _love _you! Jasper...Jazz is dead because of you and those fucking wolves!" Her red eyes flicked to the left as Colin and Paul entered the clearing behind the house in wolf form with menacing growls.

"You've never loved anyone but yourself, Alice!" I retorted as she flashed away from me.

She was so fast, but I could sense where she was going and had a sudden confidence that there was nothing to be afraid of. There was nothing else she could do to me. She had bitten me and I hadn't died, she had killed me and I had risen stronger than ever before. .

"No...I love you, I gave you everything."

"You tried to kill me!"

"I _did _kill you, but your heart...it sings with blood." She disappeared again, circling me, hunting me. I sensed she was no longer plotting for me to join her, now she only wanted to see if I could die.

I cut her off as she passed behind me.

She skirted away again, her hate smoldering. Suddenly she changed tactics and rushed past me, racing to attack the wolves who had joined me. Paul snarled and raised his hackles, unafraid and ready to defend himself, desperate for revenge for his fallen brothers.

I hurled myself after her, unwilling to see another of my pack fall at her hands, no matter how eager he may be to take her on. I was fast, faster than I had been before, and the Thunderbird screamed to be released. I was to blame for Seth's and the other deaths, I had kept her locked down when I should have let her fly free. I wouldn't make the same mistake twice. I released her fury fully, allowing it to blaze out of me in a white hot flash.

I had always kept her contained, controlled within me. Even when I transformed, my consciousness was always the one in charge. Tonight I allowed her free reign, taking full control of us. By submitting, I felt the depth of her love and devotion to me for the first time. I saw how her ancient soul bled for me every time I was cut and how she ached to be what I was to her. I was her connection to life, her second chance. By sharing my life with her I had given her the mate she never believed she would have.

And now I joined with her and we merged for the first time, becoming one in body and spirit. I was the Thunderbird.

We called to the heavens, our black and green feathers flat against our body; eyes white with revenge and hatred.

Alice stopped her advance on Paul and looked back at the inhuman sound that broke from my lungs. Her eyes widened as she backed away at the sight of my new form. I burst through the remaining pillars of the home, breaking through the ceiling above us bringing the house down upon my head. The pack fled the collapse, but I was buried beneath the rubble. Flexing my wings, I broke through the debris and lifted myself into the air.

"What the fuck..." Alice whispered, her red eyes wide with fear.

I focused on her with the sharpness of an eagle on its prey and swooped down to take her in my razor sharp mouth, intending to split her in two with one bite.

"No!" Esme suddenly appeared before me, running out from the woods, pushing Alice out of the way, causing me to lift up into the air before slamming down into the dew-kissed grass.

"Alice!" She screamed, shaking her terror stricken form. "Alice please, come back to us!"

Alice sat immobile in disbelief and shock, her stone heart filled with fear.

"Esme!" Carlisle ran after her, trying to pull her away from her adopted daughter. "We can't change what she's done. We've finally killed the ones she brought with her. She had filled their minds with so much hatred, how can we ever save her?" He pleaded with his wife as his eyes tracked me circling above, his fear eclipsing his worry for Alice. "Esme, we have to go, she's chosen her path and there's nothing more we can do for her."

"Alice, please!" she begged but Alice's eyes were trained on me, terror and disbelief rolling off of her in waves.

"Bella..." Alice whispered.

"She's gone Esme, she can't be saved. We need to leave!" The wolves were creeping toward them, closing in on my prey. I was nothing new to them, but the shock of my transformation had shaken even the normally unflappable Carlisle deeply.

"Please..." Esme's voice was soft and mournful as she was forced to see how far into darkness her daughter had fallen.

"She killed...so many," Carlisle continued looking at the ruins of their home. "Too many..."

Edward returned to the clearing, darting from point to point. I slowed the beating of my wings and drifted down toward the ground. At the sight of me he stopped, his crimson eyes wide. He stumbled backwards and fell as I called to the night sky, willing the spirits to come down and strike him where he stood.

As if on command, Jacob burst from the trees and bounded toward the horror stricken Cullens. Leaping over them he ran to Edward, teeth bared.

"I'm so sorry..." Edward sobbed just as Jacob reached him and took his head within his powerful jaws and pulled. Edward's body was dragged away by Embry and Paul and the screeching of metal ripping rang out as they began to dismember the vampire's struggling body.

"Nooo!" Alice and Esme screamed in unison. Carlisle stood and watched with unshed tears. Alice began to scramble toward her brother but the sound of Edward's head being torn from his body had stopped her cold.

Alice's anger exploded from her, vaulting her to her feet. Carlisle restrained Esme from following Alice as she crouched to attack.

I flapped my powerful wings, rising into the air before speeding back to the ground and grabbing her in my talons.

I flew high, the beating of my wings thrusting us toward the stars, taking Alice as close to heaven as she would ever come. She struggled in my grasp, screaming and clawing at me, but my talons were stronger than even her vampiric teeth. I swooped over the forest, letting her come to the realization that this would be her last night on earth. She began to thrash and I let out one more piercing cry before pulling her apart, splitting her evil body in two.

Out at sea lightning flashed and I heard the gentle sigh of of the souls she had killed.

I held onto her as I slowly descended, peace and the finality of her death soothing my pain. I dropped to the ground and I let go of her lower half before separating her head from her torso. Like a child's doll she came apart easily: a Barbie, nothing more.

The pack had started a fire on the decimated home of the vampires who had claimed to be our friends. Esme shook in Carlisle's arms, he could hold her for a million years and never take away the pain of watching her children die.

Rosalie and Emmett had appeared at the treeline and bore silent witness to their siblings' deaths. Slowly, without a word, the four vampires left us to our gruesome task. I knew we would never see them again.

Sam ran over to me, a long scar across his chest. It was still red and the scar tissue was bright against his dark skin. The intensity of this battle was too severe to walk away from unscathed, even for mythical beasts. He may heal fast but some things have consequences no matter how strong you are.

"Bella, give me the head." There was no smile on his face, no celebration, only hatred. The loss of Seth and Brady had aged us all.

I dropped Alice's decapitated body and held the head out to him. He took it to the blazing fire and tossed it into the center, a bright spark and a loud hiss announcing its ignition. I sighed and pulled my wings into my body smoothly, but for once the Thunderbird did not retreat to the back of my consciousness. She stayed, her soul intertwined with mine.

Naked, I dropped to my knees and finally allowed the sobs to come. My blood pounded in my skull and our loss tore at me, each breath was a thousand razor blades ripping through my chest, and my tears fell even harder knowing that my pain could do nothing to bring them back. My shoulder throbbed from the deadly bite. I was physically and emotionally exhausted in every way I could have imagined. So many lost, so many...all for nothing.

"Bells?" I heard his voice ring out like a cool breeze; it was like returning home. I was dying and he was the air I needed to breathe. I looked up and saw him running to me. His body covered in swiftly healing injuries. His gait was heavy and tired, his eyes shining yellow with love.

"I'm sorry," I hiccuped and looked away, shame and guilt weighing me down. Suddenly I was in his arms. He held me to him like a child. I had been cut down, shot dead, and he saved me again. "I'm so sorry..."

"Shhh..." he didn't try to appease me, tell me it wasn't my fault or any other lie. He only held me. Seth was gone, Brady was gone, others had been badly hurt; Edward and Alice were gone and so many human lives had been lost to violence or venom. They had died and flown away but the white lightening flashed in the distance, reminding us that we were never truly alone.

I cried and he held me, we were mourning for so many lives. His embrace never faltered and he kissed my head as we sat in the graveyard that had begun as a celebration. The fire sparked in the darkness, like lightning in a winter storm, illuminating the remainder of the pack walking away from the pyre. No one spoke as we stood vigil, watching the purple smoke of vampire pour into the sky, ridding us forever of their evil.

All of us were older now; we'd learned and lost so much. The fire blazed for hours and we sat, watching, making sure that every last trace of vampire was incinerated. As morning drew near we began the long walk home. The wolves phased and Pup leaned down, allowing me to climb onto his back. No words were spoken between us, and as the pack howled into the pre-dawn light, I looked back and said goodbye to my innocence.

Tonight had changed us all, everyone in the town. Even those who knew nothing of the real events as they had happened would be affected. The pain of what we'd lost would never be forgotten, but I knew that together we could survive anything: Jacob and Bella, Jake and Bells, _T'ist'ilal _and _Q'woli._

The End


End file.
